Tuesday, November 21, 2006

If we were hamsters…

If we were hamsters, we’d snack, we’d nap, we’d think about working out, we’d snack again, nap some more….

Hey… wait a minute….

(That’s not original, by the by – I bought a greeting card in Target with that sentiment, but I love it.)

The Man’s first name was Hamed and I used to call him Hamster. I had this whole little routine worked out with my girlfriends of the “Hamster Dance”. Very amusing (to me!)

I had a date scheduled for tonight (from like a week ago) with a guy who I have been putting off. He’s ok and all that, but reeeeeeeeeal pushy. Anyhoo, he was all ready go to out with me and I said, “Pick me up at 7:30?” He said, “Can’t we make it after 9?” I like – WORK, you know? I get up before the sun rises. Turns out he “has a meeting” prior to 9 (Suuuuuuuure. And like – who schedules a meeting on the same night that you have a date you have been asking for for weeks?) So, I sent him a quick SMS from work, “I was planning on an early dinner and several hours of earth-shattering sex, but I’ll RSVP to that symposium that my boss wanted me to attend tonight instead -- since you’re busy…” He immediately called and said he would re-schedule his meeting. Yuh. Too late, buddy. You are on the “Grade A” Idiot List now.

…Just like the guy who has been asking me out for 6 months. I travel a lot, so I was THOUGHTFUL (AKA “stupid”) and brought him a bottle of cologne which I dropped off at his office. Dude calls me and tells me, “Oh, I’m getting engaged. I’m going to save this for my wedding.” No! I am not kidding!!! I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried.

My life is good. I received a hokey e-mail from a friend, entitled, “I am thankful…” listing all the ways you can turn a negative into something to be thankful for. (for Example: For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means I am alive.) Well, in response to that e-mail… I am thankful that I do have men in my life and that I’m not a toothless no-job ugly chick with poor table manners driving a 25 year old Toyota. Yeah. I’ll keep telling myself that.


Purgatory said...

one post, it was so good for one post :(

Unknown said...

lol, now i've got that crucifixion monty python song in my head:

"Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke. It's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

Always look on the bright side of life.

whoo whoo, whoo whoo who who who whoo who whoooooo

(thats whisteling at the end btw :P )

Tiger said...

your life is better than mine, i've isolated myself for good, i can't get back to the way i used to be, i'm all rusty.

Desert Girl said...

Skunk - you TOTALLY made my day. I used to sing that song all the time. Wasn't it "Life's a bowl of shit," though? That's what I remember. Thanks for giving me a smile.

Tiger - I go through that stage (usually on Sundays - sometimes on Saturdays - never on Tuesdays). My friend, Slapperella, thinks I'm overly optimistic about everything here. That's why I bought her the duck.

Purgatory - I'm pretty sure there are some cerebral, intellectual, thought-provoking and stimulating blogs out there, but you come to mine to get the fluff and the dirt, don't cha? I'll try to keep you amused as often as possible... ANYHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Purgatory said...

Yah the fluff, cannot resist the fluff.