Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Reflections

Everything is so green and pretty here. Oh... why can't Kuwait be like this? I've seen some seriously beautiful sunsets since I've been here. We were driving back from the beach one night and the sky was bright orange and turquois blue. Then, within a few minutes, it had turned to bright pink as we drove across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. It turned the water pink. Absolutely gorgeous. I don't think I've seen a sunset like that since Hawaii a very long time ago.

My older sister is here now from the foreign country of Texas. We 3 sisters are leaving to California the day after tomorrow. It will be the first time all 3 of us have ever gotten together to do something alone without other family members around. The other night, we were turned onto French martinis and now I'm hooked. Yummmmmmmmmmm. I'm still loyal to my longtime friend and companion, Mr. Jose Cuervo, yet I like this new friend a whole lot. There are different variations on how to make a French martini. The one I like is vanilla Absolute, Chambord, and pinapple juice.

I went to visit the building where Shamlan used to live above the Iwo Jima memorial. He sent me an amazing sign just as I was turning to leave and I felt like he was with me. There isn't a day that I don't wake up and say his name - usually in that place between asleep and awake. Where does all the time go? When you think that the best times are yet to come, sometimes you realize that at that very moment, it probably was the best time. I guess you dont' figure that out until you are older and start wondering: why the hell was I so stupid? :) Shamlan used to wear Hallston cologne way back in the day. I bought some at Target so I could remember what he smelled like. I just wear a little before I sleep and hope to catch a glimse of him in a dream.

Anyways, I am loving spending time with my family. I should be enjoying every single happy moment and yet I am anxious - especially at night - thinking about the time when I will leave to go back. I wish that I could fit into this world again, but I just don't know if I ever can. I feel like a fish out of water.

Our coffee boy at work sent me an e-mail the other day saying that he missed me. It must be pretty quiet around the office without me. One thing is for sure: You never forget the crazy people.

I've had some completely unexpected calls from friends in Kuwait that I hadn't heard from in a long time while I've been here. It is almost like they knew I wasn't there and wanted to call to pull me back into the fold. These particular people, I didn't tell that I was leaving. I've had 4 people call me out of the blue and tell me how important I am to them and how much they needed to talk to me when I got back about different things - mostly just for comfort talks.

One particular guy, a TV newscaster, has just not been that into me. He sends me SMSs, but rarely picks up the phone when I call him. "Very busy" as he says. 'Just not that into me' as most of my friends (MA) say. I haven't seen him in close to a year. At any rate, we talked on the phone and he will be in New York this week while I'm in California. He said he might get to Virginia when I get back. Interesting.

I've been looking at my old photo albums of friends I am still close to (for many, many moons). It is funny to see pictures of the guys with then-gorgeous full heads of hair; now bald! I've changed "a little" since those days as well.

I continue to meet incredibly nice people through this blog. This week, I talked to a lady who wrote to ask my advice and I hope we will be good friends. It never ceases to amaze me how you can touch other people's lives and the affect that you/they have.

12 comments:

The Don ® said...

Do I sense some vulnerability?? :)

It’s either that or someone is writing this entry while Mr. “French martini” is visiting.. lol..

Missing you tons.. :)

:: muslim artist :: said...

Vive La France, Cherie!

I knew you would come around soon enough;-)

illusion said...

Do you ever get over that one person that takes your breath away? please tell me you do, give me hope :)

Purgatory said...

where is "anyhoo"??

nazif ali said...

hahaha yea kuwait is but not kuwaity what i mean u understand it ...............sweet u all kuwati is bad mind and i can give u proved

Jacqui said...

I just came back to Kuwait from the States and my last thought while driving from Columbia to Saint Louis was "God I'll never seen anywhere this green again!"

Desert Girl said...

Anyhooooooooooo... :)

Don - Me? Vulnerable? Tee hee. Ah, my dear friend...I am missing you too.

Muslim ConArtist: I am something like 1/4 part French. My grandfather hailed from South Western France. Unlike some people perpetratin' the French, I am far more humble and don't interject the French language into conversation.

Illusion: Yes. I saw him for 2.5 nanoseconds when I was 15 driving up a hill as I was walking down. I knew that I would love him forever - and so far, it is a promise I've kept. He just didn't love me back and died in 1997. He still takes my breath away almost on a daily basis.

Jackie: Yes you will. :) It will be ok. Now go to the florist and buy yourself some beautiful flowers for your room. When you wake up and see them, you will confuse yourself and then be happy all day! It works for me.

Purgatory said...

That is much better, now I can comment on this:

Anyhoo is not a word :P

Jacqui said...

LOL Amerab now that would be something to confuse me, I actually overslept today lol :P Slept at 9am and woke up at 10PM! hehe :P

PALFORCE said...

You've been tagged :-)

Jewaira said...

Shamlan is lucky to have you remember him so fondly. Bless him and may his soul rest in peace.

:: muslim artist :: said...

I am far more humble and don't interject the French language into conversation.


Oh? I recall you once throwing out 'amuse bouche
;-)