Listen to this shet.... (or read maybe not listen, eh?)
I went to my regular bank where I've had an account for the past 20+ years (Yep, I'm 29. My parents must have opened it, right). I withdrew a bunch of money - all in $100 notes. I then went to my mother's bank to deposit it into her account.
They told me that they were confescating one of the $100 notes because it was COUNTERFEIT. They looked at me hinky; kinda sideways and shifty like I was trying to pull one over on them. You know the look - like the one your mother gives you when she thinks you've done something wrong.
What The Pluck???? Desert Girl is NOT a counterfeiter (nor an international spy - truth be told).
They just took the money and changed the amount on my deposit slip. I was at the drive-thru window and at first, I just drove away. Then I went back inside and told them, "I wouldn't be so pissed off if Joe Shmuck just handed me a counterfeit bill, but a BANK?" (bank #1). They gave me a report, but said there was nothing they could do. They also showed me the bill and showed me how I could tell the difference. (At that point, I believe I sufficiently revealed my innocence and they felt pity on me.)
I call my bank. They said they couldn't check "every bill" to ensure authenticity. Whaaaaat? Dude, youse check every large bill that is deposited - what about the ones that are withdrawn? I spoke to some bambi who said that the manager was "off site" and would call me back.
She did - a few hours later. She was really really nice and I apologized for wigging out on Bambi. She said she would have done the same. Me said that I have the report and the serial number. Manager Lady said she would see what she could do.
Next time, Je is going to ask for ten notes instead of hundreds. Maybe even one dollar bills. Funk dat.
So bank #2 told me that counterfeiters sometimes wash out $5 notes and then re-print $100's over them. The bastards.
I'm down $100. Obviously, I caught ahold of somebody's bad juju. Not good. That's my luck. Aint that some shet?