I had plastic surgery (graphic post-surgery photo)

I've never had surgery.  Not that it freaks me out or anything, but never really thought about it.  So for my 29th (regrettably, again) birthday, my kind/generous/beautiful younger (ok now I'm ready to admit that - but only by 11 months) sister gifted me an upper blepharoplasty and a partial lower bleph.

Here is what they do YOUTUBE CLIP (not me).  The whole procedure took about an hour and a half.  I was asleep. I was all warm and cozy and sedated.  It was like getting a really good massage only coming out looking like a truck hit your face.

Sent the post-surgery pic to some friends via Whatsapp for shock appeal and they thought I was in a car accident.  Ya know.... friends, right?  If they think you have been in a car accident, mighten they try to contact your family and send flowers.  WTF?!

This is when I was all bruised and zombie looking.  Sexy, no?
(my eyes are closed here)

One of my male Kuwaiti friends said to me (after I sent him the gross "after surgery" photo), "Why would you do your eyes?  All I hear about in Kuwait is boobs, but and stomachs.  Why eyes?"  Well friends, I guess it depends what you want out of plastic surgery. I like my B&B.  My stomach I can usually Spanx it if I care to at all (or just stop eating carbs and sugar for like a month and then ... ok still wear Spanx maybe but maybe not.  (Refer to A, please)

When I look at someone, I look at their eyes, not their B&B or upper crotch area, but that's just me.

Is it a huge difference?  Not so that you would notice, but it does make you look less tired and more like "yourself" (or how "yourself" used to look maybe like 3,000 man hours, many meetings, and 100 business proposals/presentations ago).  I have noticed, however, that it is now apparent to myself that I am wearing eye shadow.  Previously, it was lost in there somewhere like a sharpei puppy's folds.

I can hear my sister now...

"OH MY GOD!  WHY WOULD YOU TELL PEOPLE THAT YOU HAD PLASTIC SURGERY?"

A) Because I just don't give a shit - at all - ever
2) Because maybe somebody out there is thinking of doing it too and they can axe me what happened.
C) refer to A

Anyhow, my eyes look really good now and I'm happy I did it.  It didn't hurt. I got to take oxy for 2 days and sleep without anybody bothering me.  People have told me that I look "different" but can't figure out why.  Maybe I should tell them I had butt implants and see if they look.  Ha!

I found a place to live

... and it only took 5 months.

Mishref.  It is pretty. There are trees and grass and people who are kind to dogs and even walk them around.  And they don't look at  you funny or stare at your butt.

Tomas Czerwinski at Kuwait 4 Rent found it for me. He's my hero.  He probably knows it by this point.  He seems like a shy young fellow so I can't tell.

This has been the Year of Disappointment.  I have had so many apartments fall through at the last minute.

Jambalaya boy, I hate you, seriously.  I understand why you don't want to leave, but I still hate you for it. JB showed me his apartment in a lovely little villa.  JB said he was going to move out soon and I could come see it, so I did.   It is older and has character.  I walked in and it felt like home.  Several days prior, I had taken Lovely Libra's advice and asked for Divine intervention.  After looking at several shithole apartments, I pulled the car over and requested that God help me find an apartment with 2 bedrooms, a yard for my dogs, a swimming pool and I didn't want to pay more than 500kd.  BFF was with me and interjected, "and a jacuzzi," so I added that too.  JB's place was all that.  I had some things to fix, but ohmydamn... perfect.  I was hooked and I started looking at paint samples and thinking about furniture placement.  Ok so JB gets to looking around in the local market and best I can tell, he's not liking what he's seeing either and decides not to move.

Anyhooser, after that came disappointment after disappointment.  I even left the farm so I had no where to keep even my furniture. Disappointed also in my farm friends, but totally different story.

I just arrived last Thursday from the States ('nother post).  We had to move out of BFF's home by Thursday morning because her family was scheduled in for a vacation at her place.

I have a friend who was looking for a place too, so we decided to share (I refuse to call her a room mate because we are both adults and I never thought I would be sharing again. I feel like one of the Golden Girls.  Preferably Blanche.)  She found a place. Sounded perfect.  I decided to take it sight-unseen.  Came back Thursday.  By Monday, was told of the 1100 kd deposit that everybody neglected to tell me about.  'Why you lookin' at me?  I'm not paying 1100 kd..... ' Anyhoo, looked at another shithole Monday night (if you can't read your customer, you are in the wrong business).  and looked at 2 nice places on Tuesday.

Sidebar:  Real estate people:  Read your customers well. Size them up.  Look at what they are wearing.  What kind of car they are driving.  Footwear.  You can probably determine what type of a place they are looking for.  I don't think I scream, 'Please sir, show me a shithole because I really would love to live there.'

Frost Real Estate and my friend, Marty, were very kind in helping me out. They had a few places.  The problem is that I'm incurring storage fees every month and I needed unfurnished,  Anyways, long-story-short, I took the second one that Tomas showed me in Mishref.   (Tomas' business partner is a man I've met a few times and that knows most of my friends.  Small world.)

Signed on it Wednesday morning and moved in that same night.  I still have to wait to get my furniture out of storage, but that's no big deal.  They also have to do some painting between now and Sunday, so I'll pick up my big dog on Sunday night.

The family will be reunited.

Let's just see if Mikey eats Dorothy's cat.  (That wasn't a metaphor, pervs.  I mean the girl I'm living with has a cat.)

Oh!  This morning (first morning in the new apartment) I woke up to hear a lawnmower.  I have been hearing that noise all summer in Virginia because either our lawn or the neighbors' is getting cut.  But wait... where am I and whaaaaaaaaat?  GRASS!  I live somewhere where there is grass and trees.

Orangutan Smuggled into Kuwait Repatriated

Finally!  I have something decent to post about.

I met a Kuwaiti someone over the summer who was trying to buy a chimp.  He didn't make it to friend level.  Anyone who would do that isn't worth my spit if they were on fire.  Most of the babies are taken from the lifeless bodies of their dead mothers; as poachers shoot the mothers so they can snatch the babies.  Effing sick.  (Think about THAT one next time you drive by the maternity hospital...)

Staff from Indonesian embassy and Kuwait Zoo bid farewell to the primate

The Embassy of the Republic of Indonesia in Kuwait in cooperation with the Kuwait Zoo has successfully and safely returned home the orangutan, that was illegally smuggled to Kuwait in July 2015, to Indonesia by Kuwait Airways KU415 on Sept 13 and landed in Jakarta on Sept 14 at 15:50 local time. The repatriation of the orangutan is an implementation of the strong commitment both from Government of Indonesia and authorities in Kuwait to preserve the endangered species as listed by CITES which, unfortunately, includes the orangutan.  (DG note:  WHY is that unfortunate?  It is GREAT.  GREAT that they are listing these animals and confiscating them!)

The Government of Indonesia will hold into account anyone involved in this illegal activity and bring the perpetrator to the court. There were two female orangutans of 1,5 years and 6 months respectively sent to Kuwait without proper documentation in July 2015. The baby orangutan will be taken care of in Kuwait in order to give it the ability of feeding by herself before being flown home

--- end ---

And WTF was Kuwait Airways doing allowing an endangered animal to be brought to Kuwait?  Oh wait... I just said "Kuwait Airways," didn't I?    Duuh moment.

Whoever did the busting in Kuwait:  I LOVE YOU!!!  Some of us have been waiting for this type of law enforcement for DECADES.  Good for you guys!

US Defense Contractors in Kuwait - Read This

Ah, you can smell it in the air... the adrenaline is running a little higher.  The twitch of an eye.  The discreet American business development people quietly filtering through Kuwait International Airport with their heads down, as if not to attract attention. ("Who do you work for?") The increase of American guests at the Hilton....

That's right... KBOSSS is up for re-bid this year.

(More on KBOSSS to follow below)

This post relates to employee rights for people working on US military contracts in Kuwait.  What you should know. What you're probably not being told.  It is relevant now, as this 5-year contract will attract more employees to Kuwait who probably have no clue what to ask for and/or expect. Relevant also for those who have been working 18 hour days (as an example) on the current contract, and have never been paid overtime.

I posted several articles previously regarding how foreign companies (non-Kuwaiti that is) handle overtime to their employees and enforcement of the Kuwait Labor Law.  To date, most companies do not comply/work in accordance with local law (even though they specifically state on ALL US Government contracts that they are).  Why not?  Because if they wrote overtime into their proposals, the prices would increase dramatically.

Also, there is a cap on overtime an employee is ALLOWED to work in Kuwait:  180 hours per YEAR (not week/month).  YEAR.  If you're working more than this, it is illegal.

Anyhoo, here are several previous posts on the Kuwait Labor Law and how it applies to folks hired to work here:

Little Diddy on the FAR and Kuwait Labor Law

Western Employees on Arifjan Sue for Labor Benefits and Win

 (American Girl's World Post) Americans Seek Dues Per Kuwait Labor Law (Update)

Kuwait Base Operations & Security Support Services (KBOSSS)

KBOSSS is not the only US military contract in Kuwait, but it is one of the largest;  employing a majority of Western contractors.

Contract Summary

The KBOSSS contract covers peripheral services to the US Military that can be completed by one single large contractor (called the “prime contractor”) and subcontracted to local or international vendors.  The prime contractor must be large enough to be able to handle the entire workload of the contract.  The contract covers all US military installations in Kuwait.

Areas of Coverage of the KBOSSS Contract

The major functional areas of this contract include but are not limited to:

• Administrative Publications
• Postal Services
• Operations
• Logistics (DOL) – Travel, lease vehicles
• Safety
• Information Management Systems
• Engineering (DPW)
• Medical Services
• Installation Support (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation – MWR)
• Security and Fire (DES) 

Civilian Entitlements 

Through local and international law, the following entitlements are basic to employees working on US Military installations in Kuwait:

Article 18 Visa – In order to be badged (granted access to work on bases/camps), employees must have a valid Kuwaiti Article 18 visa.  (That means that they are covered under the Kuwait Labor Law.)

Kuwait Labor Law Entitlements.  Specifically overtime stipulations (Article 66):

The local labor law, Kuwait Labor Law, is very specific as to the number of hours each employee can work and sets a cap on the number of hours per week and per year that an employee can work:

Kuwait Labor Law Overtime Stipulation:
Article 66:  Without prejudice to Articles (21) and (64) of this Law, the employer may, by means of a written order,  have workers work overtime if the necessity arises for the purpose of preventing a dangerous accident, repairing damages arising from such accident, avoiding a loss or facing an unusual work load.  The overtime work should not exceed two hours a day, a maximum of 180 hours a year, three days a week or 90 days a year.  The worker shall have the right to prove by any means that the employer required him to perform additional works for an additional period of time. The worker shall also be entitled to a 25 percent increase over his original remuneration for the period of overtime.

Combatting in Human Trafficking (CIHT) – (Federal Acquisition Regulation Subpart 22-17).  This is an “anti-slavery” requirement and it applies to fair and ethical treatment of employees; how they are paid; how they are housed, etc.  The US Government is taking a very firm stand on CIHT and this law applies to employees in Kuwait on this contract.

DBA - Western employees must be covered (by law and by contract) by Defense Base Act Insurance.  DBA Insurance is in addition to either local (Government) insurance or private insurance.  DBA is designed to provide medical treatment and compensation to employees of defense contractors injured in the scope and course of employment.  Are you covered under DBA?  Ask your employer to see their certificate with your name on it.  BAM.

Cutting Corners

In order to win the prime contract, some  bidders have (historically) cut corners by not abiding by the Kuwait Labor Law.  They do not factor overtime, 30 days paid vacation, or other stipulations which would increase their labor costs into their proposals. 

Employees hired in the US may be asked to sign papers stating that they agree to work extended periods (even up to 18 hour days, 6 days a week) at a single salary rate.  These documents are not valid or legal in Kuwait as there is no jurisdiction and employees hold Article 18 visas.  They are civilians and therefore not covered under any military exemptions as service members.

Note that in the US there is a difference between management and labor.  Management is not paid overtime (and generally receives a higher salary); whereas labor is paid overtime.  Under the Kuwait Labor Law, there is no difference between management and labor; all fall under the Kuwait Labor Law (and please - do not take my word for it - ask a lawyer).

All prime contractors have both local and international legal advisors.  The local labor law has historically been brushed aside by all prime contractors.  Small numbers of employees have filed class action suits.

Lack of Labor Monitoring of Subcontractors

Prime contractors often (again historically) do not properly monitor subcontractors (usually local vendors):  Local vendors may propose much lower prices because they are practicing illegally and not paying in accordance with the Kuwait labor Law or CIHT laws.  Subcontractors most likely utilize only TCN labor, so these employees are less likely to be able to stand up for their rights.

Employee Legal Alternatives

When employees educate themselves on the Kuwait Labor Law, and document (keep track of their accumulated overtime), they have a case in the Kuwait courts. 

However, the prime contractor may choose to disregard the Kuwait Labor Law and immediately ask the employee to board a plane and leave the country without indemnity or the legally-required 90 days termination notification.  In this case, it becomes a very expensive, difficult, and lengthy process for the employee and he/she usually gives up without a fight.

With the risk of immediate termination/return to the US, employees who have accumulated and documented overtime and have any further entitlements (vacation pay, etc), may choose to wait until the end of the contract period (NOW) to contact legal representation in Kuwait; as they are in less danger of losing their jobs.

Process for Suing for Back-Pay in Kuwait

Prime Contractors always use sponsorship companies in Kuwait.  There are several sponsorship companies in Kuwait. Several may be used in the local market.   These companies are responsible for processing all employee documentation, providing drivers licenses, and sometimes providing accommodation, vehicles, and travel.

As the employee is under a sponsor company’s visa, and not directly with the prime contractor, the employee must sue the sponsor company; and in turn, the sponsor company must request the funds be paid by the prime contractor (or the sponsor company must sue the prime contractor).

Consider also filing the case with colleagues under a class-action type suit.

Finding a Lawyer

I've been here 20 years.  I have talked to a LOT of lawyers.  I've asked for advice, mostly.  I have had several instances (including recently) where I have had to retain a lawyer.  It is mostly word-of-mouth.  You will find lawyers through the US Embassy's website.  (The mission of the US Embassy is NOT to help Americans with their legal problems, so don't try to go that route.)

I have reached out to a LOT of firms in Kuwait during my  years here and it is hard to find people who actually listen to you, speak the same language, and can be of assistance.  If I endorse anyone, it is because I believe in their service or product.

Your choice. 

How Much is It Going to Cost You?

Your initial consultation should be free.  Get ready to drink some tea/coffee and make small talk.  (And please- PR people!  If you want to be remembered or have people do stuff for you - send your lawyer a little gift or whatever. Stand out and get results.)

Generally, a lawyer will take between 500 - 1000 KD for a civil labor suit of this nature and 10-15% of any settlement money.  There are also filing fees with the court that you must pay (I believe approximately 130 KD for a civil suit).

You don't HAVE to be in the country to receive your settlement.  As long as you have signed a power of attorney allowing your lawyer to act on your behalf, your settlement can be sent to you where ever in the world you are.

[Note this:  Usually refers to criminal acts where the po-po pick you up for drinking or whatever.  If a lawyer (or their associate) is EVER called out of the office, be sure that there is a fee involved (usually hourly rate); ASK before having them come out to (where ever) to help you.]

How long is it going to take?

It could take years and your court date may be set back several times based on whims.  Be patient.  It will happen.  I've never heard of a labor case being lost by any employee who was trying to fight it. You might not get the maximum amount, but the case is generally won.

Truly Fascinating Summer

....  not....

This has been one of the hottest summers that I can remember.  Heat approaches 50c almost on a daily basis and if there isn't a dust storm on the weekend, it is a miracle.  I (like most people here this summer) am tired, cranky and just not in a mood.

I'm not even in a mood to post stuff on the blog. That's really bad because it is therapy.

I have tried hanging out at the farm, but that gets boring.  Now, my farm mates want to rent it out to strangers on the weekends because THEY need the money.  I'm going to look for my own damn farm with a few female friends who are reliable and (obviously) won't try to sneak ho's in every now and then or wait till I'm sleeping at 2 am to turn the music up full blast so that the planes passing overhead at 30,000 feet can hear.  F that.  I'm going to move my goats and pack up my junk.  Que cera.  It makes me sad, but alas I guess change is good.

I'm still not in my own apartment yet.  I'm staying with BFF.   She's on vacation in a foreign and exotic country.   I have decided (by friends repeatedly asking me a question: "What is it that you really want to do with your life?") that I am an interior decorator at heart.  BFF leaves the country and (with her permission this time), I start to decorate.  Her place is looking faaaabulous and I am actually going to be sad to move out.  I hope she's going to like it.  (I do....)

My Dream Crib should be ready mid-September.  (If not, you will read about my suicide in the paper. Donations should be made to animal rescue organizations in lieu of flowers.)  I have seen about 30,000 apartments now and this place stole my heart.  Its like it is the ONLY one for me and the kids.  My friend lives there now and he's looking for a bigger apartment (3 br).  I know I'm a pain in the ass, but I can't stop worrying that I won't be able to move in, so I send him reminders to the tune of, 'GET OUT!!!' and 'When ya leaving?'  or when I see him on FB at a restaurant, stuff like, 'I hope you're taking a realtor out to lunch....'   (I'm sorry, seriously---  I am.  But I'm pretty sure God has destined me to live there.  I'm an obsessed  woman in love... just so happens to be with your apartment.  I feel that I must stalk it.... yes yes, that is me hiding in the shadows, trying to determine what color I might paint it or where I should place my furniture.... )

My dogs are still with friends. It has been months and months.   I have been very worried about Mike because he stopped eating after I brought him back after he spends weekends with me.  I haven't seen him in a few weeks to let him fatten up.  I haven't seen Desert Dawg at all and I am really guilty of that.  I know she is safe and happy with my friend, but I just haven't gotten down there to visit.

Anyways, I'm tired and I can't wait to go on vacation.  I wish I could take my dogs.

EEK! Magazine Poll to Expats on the Bombing in Kuwait

I'm glad to see that EEK! Magazine is starting up again after a while out of service.  They sent a very interesting poll a few weeks ago after the suicide bombing at the Imam Sadiq Mosque in Kuwait.  I'm publishing my responses below:


1)   As an expat living in Kuwait, would you mind sending us your thoughts on Friday’s attack in GENERAL TERMS?

I cried.  I am incredibly sad for Kuwait; however I am proud of my second home for how fast they united and showed solidarity between religious sects.  All ONE Kuwait.

I think this event seems more personal because technology has changed and has brought something that might be 5-10-20 miles away from you into your living room.    I've been in Kuwait since 1996.  There have been security issues - big ones - during this time, but not bombings.  We didn't immediately receive information because, until recently, smart phones with apps like Twitter and Instagram weren't common.  Now, everyone has the technology, and you could be sitting in your home (or boat, or car, or at the beach)  watching events evolve.  You see the images instantly.  They're raw and uncensored.  You feel the emotions along with the person feeling them (like when I saw HH the Emir's face after witnessing the aftermath of the bombing).

2)   I more specific terms, could you comments briefly on the following statements:

 a)   I think this was a once-of event and will likely not happen again

This is not a one-off event.  Although it was carried out by a Saudi national, it was assisted by Kuwaiti stateless (Bidoon) people.  The Bidoon situation in Kuwait has been going on for several generations. It is a breeding ground for "deviant" ideology to come in and take root in the country (and I am not placing blame on the Bidoon population).  Young men are hopeless (many are without educations, jobs, a way to help their families, and are not able to marry because of their economic situation). Many are denied drivers licenses or passports.  When you lose hope, there is vulnerability.  Terrorist groups like ISIS (and others) have an open opportunity to offer a little hope through deviant religious beliefs and a sense of (displaced) "family"/community. Before this event, the Bidoon have been blamed for crime in the country.  This suicide bombing may be a turning point as now they are being trained in explosives and other means.   Unless the Bidoon issue is specifically addressed and a solution(s) is found, there will only be an increase in violence. I believe that the Government is aware of the potential threat;   If not, there would be no need to purchase urban warfare equipment, water cannons, rubber bullets, etc.

 b) Malls are targets and I will choose very carefully

This was true even before the recent events.  There is added security at the #1 most popular mall in Kuwait, but there is nothing in place to ensure that large bombs can't be brought into their underground parking lots.  Metal detectors aren't the answer, but sniffer detection dogs are and mall owners should start considering them as an option.  I try to avoid times when there are large amounts of people in the mall. It is never a good idea; from someone with a knife (or a bomb)  to someone with the flu - I don't need to be that close to anyone.

 c)   My concern is real and I feel uneasy

It is a real concern because now this recent attack has shown the vulnerability of security in Kuwait.  There are holes - just like there were prior to 9/11 in the States.  The age of innocence is gone.  

 d)   I will think twice now before attending places frequented by expats

I always think twice, but any time something terrible happens, it just deepens my caution.

 e)   I do not feel threatened by the attack at all, it can happen anywhere

It can happen anywhere, but in my almost 20-years in Kuwait, I've learned to be vigilant.  You have to be.  Don't wear your big American flag T-shirt, for example.  Know your surroundings.  Have a "plan B".  And for your own sake - make friends with Kuwaitis because in a real emergency, they may be the only people who can help you.

 f)   My family and I are so affected we are thinking of leaving Kuwait

I disagree with this statement.  My family here consists of 2 dogs, 1 parrot, and 5 goats,  We are all just fine here.

 g) Another attack like this and we will definitely leave the region

My mother is in her 80's.  I don't know if I want to put HER through the stress, but I feel fine about staying.  I love Kuwait and feel safe here overall.

Illegal Big Cats of Kuwait

Repost from Ladies Who Do Lunch in Kuwait.  (Thanks, Girl!)



Sick, horrible, and dangerous trade.

Suicide Bombing in Kuwait: Love Prevails

There are positive things emerging after the bombing here on Friday.  Contrary to the wishes of the terrorists, the country is unifying - and quickly.  Social media is springing to life with positive messages of solidarity.  People are acting out of kindness.

Although on a smaller scale, it is similar to what happened after 9/11 in the States.  "I fear you just woke up a sleeping bear."

Here are links to some of the positive shows of force around the country:

Kuwaitiful:  We Always Thought It Would Never Reach Us
(This one contains a video clip which I LOVE. Translated, it is a father telling his son that if anyone asks you, "Are you Sunni or Shiite?" you look them in the eyes and say, "I am Kuwaiti.")
Alison & Peter:  Dear Kuwait:

Ladies Who Do Lunch in Kuwait: 

HH TheAmir's Message To All "These Are My Children" Huge Banner on FifthRing Road
Kuwaitiful:  CNN's Report on the Kuwait Terrorist Bombing (with video clip)
BBC Trending:  How one country came together after a terrorist attack
Arab Times:  Unity Without Islamism

#OneKuwait Standing Firm and United

Unfortunately, this is not the first time Kuwaitis were killed on their own soil by terrorism.  In the 1980's, the Fisherman's Diwaniya (next to Marina Crescent - at the T of Hamad Mubarak Street and the Gulf Road) was bombed and many innocent people lost their lives.  Someone drove a car into the diwaniya and ignited a bomb.

History is bound to repeat itself as long as people don't know their past!  No one talks about negative history here.  It is like it never happened.  Learn, educate, and find solutions for the future.

But back on a positive note:  Love always wins over hate and I'm glad to see that good things are coming out of bad.

Attack on Kuwait: Sad day for my second home

The attack on a Shiite mosque on Friday morning wasn't about attacking Shiites.  It was an attack on Kuwait.  As such, the country has come together within a few short days.

I cried when I saw the photos on Instagram.  I cried when I saw the emotions on HH the Emir's face as he witnessed the destruction.  This isn't about our divisions; it is about our commonality.

I was at the farm, miles away from where it happened.  But, I know the mosque well (Imam Sadiq Mosque).  It is directly behind the building where I worked for 5 years when I first came to Kuwait.  I was new here.  I didn't know much about anything.  But, from my desk, I could hear the beautiful voice of the muezzin, welcoming people to prayer during the day.  I could always hear the emotion in his voice (and could tell when he wasn't feeling his best or had a cold). It was always very soothing; and I was hoping that he wasn't hurt in the blast.

Kuwait is like a small town.  Everybody knows everybody. (And everybody talks - which is probably why they were able to identify some of the suspects so quickly.)  I was immediately certain that I know someone who was directly affected by the attack; who either had a friend or a loved-one who was injured or killed (27 dead, over 200 injured).  I was correct.  Within hours, friends told me that their friends and professors or someone they worked with had died.

The talk at the farm was all about what happened - and my Kuwaiti friends' solidarity with other Kuwaitis (regardless of religious beliefs).  They were talking about their plans to go to a Shiite mosque for the next Friday prayers to show their support.  All of my friends planned to attend the mass funerals yesterday (where thousands of people showed up and stood together in 107 degree temperatures).

Coming back from the farm yesterday (the day after the attack), I completely expected there to be checkpoints around Kuwait. I had my registration and license close at hand.   There were numerous checkpoints during 2003 when American troops were moving into Iraq.  It only makes sense that there would be checkpoints around Kuwait.  But there wasn't even one.  I noticed more police patrol cars on the roads, but no checkpoints.  Maybe we've had a huge leap in technology since 2003 rendering checkpoints fruitless?  I don't know.  I would probably felt much more secure if I had had to drive through one.

Three weeks ago, I had borrowed a friend's truck to go to the beach to take my big dog, beach gear, and other friends.  The transmission gave out along the way and I was able to pull the truck into a parking lot at a mosque where I thought it would be safe to leave until we could get a tow truck.  The police came around approximately five times, asking us to move it.  They were concerned because there had been a terrorist attack at a mosque in Saudi Arabia recently  They were adamant that we move the car, so we did.  I wasn't upset, but perplexed by the hightened security.  How far do precautions go?

I guess now it is the end of innocence at mosques.  I've seen metal detectors being installed.  I hope that the tighter security will continue.  It is necessary I think.

I'm wondering if this is a spark that will unify the country against a common enemy.  I hope that people's eyes have been opened.  This kind of hatred can't be allowed to continue.  We are all ONE Kuwait.

Handyman Services in Kuwait

I’m not going to lie – I’m not a fix-it girl.  I have power tools; which I gladly let others use.  I’m not useless, but I can’t do the work myself and I know my limitations.  Plus with anger-management issues, you really don’t want me with a hammer in one hand and a power drill in another.  Not good.

And I don't want to get some guy from the jameeya (co-op).  I've had bad experiences with stinky feet and lost-in-translation instructions.  Noooo thanks.  I'm looking for professionalism.

I have been staying with my BFF until my Perfect Apartment is ready (Inshallah). Girlfriend is out of town, so I have been fixing things that need fixing (WHY don’t apartment building owners do maintenance when it is actually IN the contract?!) 

Anyhooser, I called HandymenKuwait.com (25682000 or 25683000).

“Filipinos in the house!”  Represent.  Ok, so three very nationality-proud gentlemen descended upon the apartment.  I knew it wasn’t going to be a small task, but they all worked diligently and got everything fixed – and at a very reasonable price.  I needed electric outlets installed, the kitchen equipment re-arranged, the kitchen plumbing (in its entirety) fixed – including drains and new faucets.  I’m calling them back this weekend to paint.  They are happy guys and I liked them all a lot.

Q8realtor has also launched a handyman service.  They don’t have a number -  you have to write in at handyman@q8realtor.com. 

Houserepairkuwait.com is another one.  Their number is 99141086.  These guys do tiling also.  Woo hoo.

If anyone has used any of these services and can comment on your experience, I would appreciate it.

Bronchitis almost killed me.

I know - I haven't been posting a lot recently, have I?  I guess I have some catching up to do.

Almost a month ago, I was hit with bad bronchitis - in a day.  I often get bronchitis because I have asthma and it usually creeps in behind some kind of dust storm or humidity front.  The weather in Kuwait has NOT been the best this summer.  Extreme temperatures and a lot of dust.  No humidity, though.

I was on Arifjan the day it hit me.  In the middle of a huge project we are doing - at THE most critical period.  I've been working towards this project implementation since November... and I was stuck in bed.

I've never had such a severe case.  I've heard from friends that many people have been hit by bronchitis this year, leading me to wonder if it is actually something else that is being mis-diagnosed.  My doctor at IC had never even heard of MERS, for example.  I had to show her the CDC webpage.  That is scary.  My x-rays showed no pneumonia, but on a second opinion, the doctor said that the x-rays might not have shown pneumonia (either at that particular time or it could have just not shown up at all). He thinks that it probably was pneumonia.  Whatever the funk was kept me in bed for almost 2 weeks consecutively.

I was on IV antibiotics and the nebulizer for 10 days straight.  My arms are all black and blue.  I slept.  I slept.  And then I slept some more.  Even after almost 3 weeks, I am still coughing.

I am waiting for The Perfect Apartment.  I am still staying with my BFF in her apartment (she is in China so I am alone there).  I have found one that I'm in love with; I'm just waiting for the current tenant friends to move into their Perfect Apartment - which should be ready in a few weeks.

While I was sick, I haven't been able to visit Mikey.  I miss him so much.  I miss my little dog too (she's staying with another friend in another location. Thank God (and you, S) because she is too old and fragile to be able to handle life in a kennel.  I can't wait to get our little family finally reunited again.

Chocolates that Cater to Kuwaiti Palates: Lutece Chocolat

(No, not "pilates" - I said "palates".)

I'm a simple girl. I like simple things.  Once in a while, someone will ask me to review something and if (and ONLY if) I like it, I will write about it.  What is your return on investment going to be?  Probably some praise and a blog post.

So here goes....

Lutece Chocolat 

Got a request out-of-the-blue from a very nice Kuwaiti gentleman who asked if I would try his new-to-Kuwait chocolates and if I liked them to write a post.  Sure, why not?  I'm taking my Glucophage and my count isn't so high, so here goes.

This comes during the same week when a very nice reader, Kathy, sent me gorgeous flowers out-of-the blue.  It looks VERY cool to receive both during the same week, on different days; as everybody knows that I'm single and I work all the time and I really have no romantic prospects whatsoever.  Everybody now thinks I have an extremely considerate admirer.  As if....

I was expecting the usual chocolates (snore) - nothing out of the ordinary. But hey - do I care? Chocolate is chocolate, right?  There is never a bad chocolate (unless it is stale and then who wants that unless it is 3 am and you are really really desperate?)

What I got was unexpected.  These hit me from several different directions.

First, I'm one of those kids who will poke a hole in the bottom of each and every piece if I can't easily determine what is in it.  Most likely, if it is one I don't care for, I'll put it back in the box - hole and all.  I don't care.  I'm still 11 years old at heart.  But these came with a MENU!  It has pictures and tells you whats IN each one.  So cool. Like Russel Stover, but not as difficult (because Russel Stover chocolates have the menu on the inside of the box lid which makes it kind of harder - especially when you are handing them around to people or want to share a menu).

Armed with my menu, I set in.  But... I kinda came to a screeching halt when I saw how pretty they actually are.  Since they arrived in my office (and truth be told, I could NOT eat the entire box because it really would put me into a diabetic coma), my colleagues got to sample too and I got to hear their reviews.  They usually just grunt when receiving food (don't we all?) but this time I got, "Oooh's" and "Aaaaah's!" about how pretty the little chocolates are.

"They look like gemstones," or "They look like they've been hand-painted!"  So pretty.

So then I went to the menu to see which ones would be my favorites.  Holy Shhhhh!!! WATERMELON!!!  Who DOES that?!  In chocolate?  Could it be?!  Two of my favorite flavors together?  And yes, it actually does taste like watermelon.  That's a first.  I thought I had seen it all in the world of chocolate (and I'm sure you think you have too, if you live in Kuwait...)

Let me run down the list of my fav's:  Watermelon, rose truffle, saffron cardamon, and pomegranate.  Yuuuuuummmm.   

I like the fact that they are actually marketing to local tastes:  Rahash is Kuwaiti Rahash flavored ganache filled in milk chocolate.  Saffron cardamon is a local favorite. Hazelnut caramel, pistachio truffle.  (Have you guys thought about branching out do do wedding cakes in Kuwait?)

Is it getting dizzy in here or is it just me?

Anyways, Abdulrahman at Lutece, please come visit me in the hospital and I can't thank you enough for putting me there!  It was a lovely, lovely thing for you to have thought of me and sent me these wonderful treats.  Everyone in my office is thanking you today as well.  As you can see, your menu cover has their dirty little fingerprints all over it, so I hope you will be receiving a lot more customers soon.

Here's some pics and how to get in touch with them.

For dark chocolate lovers:  Blue Cherry and Cherry Raspberry in dark chocolate

Sidebar:  In keeping with my tell-it-like-it is method of operation....  Although it was nice to receive the chocolates for free (so that I would write about them IF I liked them - which I obviously did), I never received a thank you for this post, so I am having mixed feelings about actually keeping it posted here.  Good manners are everything and so is follow-through.

Apartments for Rent in Kuwait - Recommended Realtors and Online Sites (2015)

My Favorite Realtors

(Se habla Engles)

The realtors below are all pet-friendly realtors and will NOT ask you stupid questions, give you funny looks, or try to talk you out of pet ownership because they want a commission.  I have found them all to be sincere and trustworthy also; they don't try to up-sell you or show you something that you won't want.

Zamina Huseynova, Comfort Real Estate, 99464866  or 6659-3911. www.comfort-realestate.com

Zamina has been helping my friends find new homes for about a decade.  She’s a lovely woman from Bulgaria.

Omar Dawood, Easy Homez, 50198999, omar@easyhomez.com, www.easyhomez.com

I met Omar recently and like him a lot.  He’s one of those people who, like me, gets rattled by insincerity and injustice.  He’s Kuwaiti – and the only Kuwaiti realtor I’ve met. 

Apartment finder Sites 

(I’m not listing the ones that I believe to be sucky)

http://www.horizonq8.com/

http://www.myq8home.com/

https://www.mourjan.com/kw/apartments/rental/en/

http://www.housebox-kw.com/

http://www.q8classifieds.com/17-apartments-for-rent/listings.html

http://www.myq8home.com/

http://www.4321property.com/for-rent-kuwait/

http://www.findq8.com/SearchWRealEng.cfm

  

Pet-Friendly

For the love of God realtors, would you PLEASE list “Pet Friendly”  (like Comfort Real Estate does), so that we don’t have to call them all and get negative or even rude responses?  One of the main reasons that I am willing to pay commission to realtors is so that they (and NOT me)  have to deal with nasty people.   Call it a pre-screening fee.

Get this:  Many westerners CHOOSE not to have children.  Shocking, I know.  But once you pull yourself up off the floor, realize that westerners are also likely to be considerate of their neighbors and landlords.  Most westerners understand how to actually TRAIN their pets to be quiet and clean (unlike some nasty children runnin round here).

Landlords:  You can ASK for a pet deposit.  It is standard in most Western countries if you rent to people with pets. You can also limit the size of the pet.  For example, "Dogs allowed under X kilos."  Most of the fuss about pet deposits in the West is because apartments have wall-to-wall carpeting.  NOT SO in Kuwait where most apartments are tiled because of the weather.

My goodness!  With the amount of greedy landlords there are in Kuwait, you would think that they could have figured out by now that money has no religion.  Rent to people with pets – there are a LOT of us.  Put pets and terms and conditions in the contract.  Attract even MORE tenants.  Gee…. Duuuh.

Religion and dogs:   When people say, "It is against Islam to have dogs in the house, " (With the exception of protection dogs which - by the way - mine is.)   I call bullshit - and for several reasons.   But let me just cite the one inside my head right now:  Many landlords take religion and bend it to their particular whims.  For example, treating your tenants unkindly or illegally; raising the rent when they have agreed to a period set by law and in their own documents; causing harm to the elderly or the sick, lying, cheating or coercing tenants into leaving.  None of these factors have anything to do with religion, do they? So save the bullshit about not renting to people with dogs.   I'm not hearing it.  And using pets as a reason to evict is not only illegal, it is merely a ploy for unscrupulous landlords to evict and then rent at a higher rate.  And it is happening all over Kuwait.

Cheatin' Lyin' Realtors in Kuwait - Lookin for dat special crib

I was going through the same BS looking for an apartment in 2008 (and it took me 6 months to find a suitable place).   I thought that this time, if I tried more upscale realtors and maybe since I was looking for a place that cost a little more, I wouldn't be lied to by scumbag realtors.  I've been selective about who I CHOOSE to do business with.  .... and it is business.  I'm giving you my money.  You are doing a service for me.

Kuwait can be biased and realtors can ask personal questions (and get away with it under the law). This includes stuff like marital status, religion, nationality, age, if you intend to have male visitors (hell-to-the-yes I am!)   Whatever.  It is a frickin free-for-all.  They discriminate the MOST against single male Kuwaitis of all ages.  That would suck.  You're a professional guy who doesn't want to live with mommy and daddy anymore and no one will rent you an apartment in your own country.

I digress.

The question I hate the most is, "Are you married?"  Many places rent to families only.  Let me 'splain something to you, Lucy.... children are not your best bet in renting an apartment.  My dogs aren't going to use crayons on your walls or tear out your lighting fixtures or scream all night.  They don't bark and no one sees them.  Being married doesn't make you a better person (it just gives you the opportunity to pile more shoes in front of the door and in the hallway).  Your "family" status doesn't either (and go to any party in Kuwait and see how many married people are cozied up - either they are hoochies or they are cozied up to hoochies, drink in hand, loud music playing).  Being married is not a quantifier in my opinion.

So what is my standard answer when asked that question?  'I am a manager, not a prostitute.'  and no - I am not going to provide you with a fake marriage certificate just to get me in the door.  I'm not a liar either.

Be firm with realtors:  "I am NOT married.  I have dogs.  I want an apartment for X amount of money."  If you can help me, I will pay you.  If you can't help me and have already formed an opinion of me based on marital status or pet ownership, stop calling me.  There are enough realtors out there who CAN and WILL help. (And I'm going to list them on another post with explanations of why I like them.)

Ok, so here is what happened to piss me off (this time - shut up!):

I had friends call realtors (cause I got sick of the stupid questions/answers).  They gave them my requirements (in Arabic, English, Farsi - whateverthefuck they wanted to hear).  My friends pre-qualified the realtors, in effect.

So, one seemingly nice man showed me the perfect place - a basement apartment, 3 bedrooms, same rent, run on the side for the dogs, private entrance with shaded car parking right above. Perfect.  Dogs?  No problem at all!  Dogs seriously?  No problem!  You can even put gates here and there so that they can play outside.  I was happy and already planning the decor and how to fit my furniture.  Happy, happy, happy.  BFF was beaming from ear-to-ear.  All good.

The contract was ready even before I provided all the necessary documents.  The mandoob came to my office so I could sign it. All good so far.  So I had someone translate the contract to me (it was only in Arabic).  I told the mandoob, "You know I have 2 dogs, right?  Is it in the contract?"  Mandoob:  No dogs, madame! Not allowed.  He called the owning company immediately and they verified.  No dogs.  I called the realtor and he literally shouted at me, "Why did you TELL them that?!  Why did you tell them you have dogs?!"  Huuuuuh?  Maybe because YOU didn't, a-hole.

No deal.

Why are people dishonest?  I don't get it. It is so easy to be honest and you don't have to remember your lies or feel guilty (not that dishonest people would) about them.  (I complain about this all the time and I think it is something that most inherently honest people are befuddled by.)

Disclaimer:  To say that I don't lie is a lie. I do lie, but little lies.  However,  not even to the extent of saying, 'Of course not!' when my sister or BFF throws something at me like, "Does this make my ass look big?"  Sorry, but your ass looks big.  (But then, I'm not going to go on and tell them that,  'It doesn't matter what you put on because well, you have a big ass.')  Big asses ARE in fashion though, right?  Especially in PuertoRicoKuwait where it is Land O' Ass.  

... I digress....Sorry

Next little ditty about dogs and apartments (not asses, sorry again.)

A Kuwaiti home owner advertises his basement apartment in Bayan.  It is frick-in BAgorgeous! (Cribs - Kuwait)  Marble, elegant fixtures.  Price is eh... ok, but for what  you get it is fine.  I'm in love.  He also advertises "No realtors/commission.  Deal with owner."  So I call him.  Dude is "hmming, emmmming"  about the dogs. He's also talking to friends at the same time he's talking to me (why list your number if  you don't want to do business - or just call me back dude?)   He said he has a dog, but he knows dogs bark.  (I could counter with "that's because you haven't trained him properly and your kids probably scream too... but I don't... think pretty apartment....)  He's not too convinced and tells me to go see the place.  Having been traumatized recently on this very subject from Assmonkeys from Hell in Rumaithiya, I decide not to look at the apartment.  The following week, I see the same apartment listed with a realtor on their site.  I decide to call the realtor and ask him to negotiate on my behalf with the owner (and I provide the name and phone number of the owner and tell realtor that I don't HAVE to pay his commission by phoning him/realtor but that I am willing to pay him to negotiate on my behalf).  About thirty minutes later, realtor calls me and says, "He doesn't want dogs."  Well yeah - no shit.  But I thought you would have at least tried.

So now I want the Bayan apartment.  It is stuck in my head.  I send what amounts to a 3 page typed SMS via Whatsapp to home owner, complete with my LinkedIn bio link, and the promise of references - personal and professional - from high places to low places. (Hey - worth a try, right?)  I notice that dude has a photo of himself on WhatsApp with what?  A little dog - looks like a Pomeranian.  Ok, now I get it.  A "yap dog".  They yap. Its what they do.  Little dogs often make better watch dogs for that reason.  You want a dog to silently bite a thief's arm off?  Choose a big dog (like a German Shepherd or a Rottie).

Why don't SOME dog owners understand dogs?  Sigh.

You want the best dog to guard your farm and wake you up when any intruder large or small comes in?  It's actually not a dog, but a peacock.  Best warning systems ever.  Better than motion detectors; Those bitches scream their heads off at any little thing - and they're so pretty!  (Wait... that reminds me of some girls I know.... stop it, Desert Girl. Bad, bad, bad!)

I've seen a LOT of apartments and heard a lot of BS advice from people.  "You'll never find a place that will accept dogs.  Moslems don't like dogs."  Bullshit.  "You'll never find an apartment in your price range (600KD).  Most good places start at 700."  Bullshit.  I've seen apartments that are willing to rent to pet owners (and GOOD realtors like Zamina/Comfort Real Estate will place ads that specifically state "Pet Friendly" so you don't have to ask and feel bad when they say, "No".  I've also seen some nice ones around 450 KD (which is what I was previously paying).  They are out there. You have to HUNT and be willing to work for it (and maybe have time).

What I do NOT want:

• An apartment for upwards of 600.  
• An apartment where the owner lives in the same house OR right next door (been there, done that). 
• An apartment where the owner talks to or looks at me suspiciously (refer to the "I'm not a prostitute" above).

What I DO want:

• Pet friendly (2 dogs - a German Shepherd and a Maltese/Poodle - blind/deaf)
• Single-woman friendly
• 600 KD and below
• 2-3 bedrooms
• Prefer a ground floor with a yard or a basement with a yard area
• Areas:  Rumaithiya, Bayan, Salwa, Mishref, New Messila, or Abu Alhassania

Anyways, that's all the griping I'm going to do for today.  Really.

Life Messages

I wrote the following story which was featured in Bazaar Magazine in 2009.  I was reminded of it because some business came up with his company, SOC (same contract, different year...).  This man is still one of the nicest people I've ever met and I still carry his message with me.


A Guy I Met on a Bus

I met a guy on a bus.  I was on a military site visit which wasn’t anything extraordinary.  We were a group of sixty people on two buses for four days.  We got to know the people seated next to us pretty well.

The guy I met on the bus cheerfully started my day with, “Good morning, sunshine,” which is an expression that my dear friend regularly uses, adding an air of familiarity.  The gentleman was in his 60’s and we began the conversation with an exchange of “where are you from?” leading to other details like family and travel.

The guy I met on the bus spoke fondly of his wife of many years; a former stock car race driver who had won so many events that she had decided to stop, as it was “getting too easy”.  She now drives a Corvette; he, a ‘57 Chevy.  They have a daughter who was thrown out of school for fighting; she just loved to fight, he laughed.  She fought so hard that she managed to get an undergraduate degree in economics and a master’s degree in marketing.  He spoke of the power of women and how proud he was of his wife and daughter; although he didn’t need to say much as he beamed just mentioning them.  They live in Nevada and he travels around the world.  I told him that I thought he had an enviable life and he admitted that yes, it is pretty good.

The guy I met on the bus has lived a healthy life.  He was obviously fit and talked about his disregard for people who smoke.  He had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and believes it came about after being exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam.  He humorously chastised another rider on the bus, a fellow diabetic, for eating candy on the trip.  “Let me see that package,” became the trip mantra.  We laughed and had good conversation as the hours passed traveling all over Kuwait.

The guy I met on the bus is an executive from a security services provider with contracts in Iraq.  “We don’t go in with guns blazing,” he said, “We take the quieter, lower-key approach.  You might not have heard of us.  We’re not Blackwater.”  Good for them.  Perhaps we all need a quieter approach.

The guy I met on the bus took the time to talk to low-ranking soldiers on the visits and finding out a little about their lives.  We weren’t supposed to, but it didn’t dissuade him from discreetly paying for the soldier in line behind him at the lunch line; as was his habit.

As we passed through the desert on a very dusty day, we talked about aging and the importance of calling your parents.  “They don’t need your money.  They probably don’t need your time.  They don’t need much at all, but a phone call once in a while to let them know that you love them.  I tell my young people at work all the time to call their parents; even if it is ten minutes on my company’s money, I don’t care.  I just want them to know how important it is.  Call your parents.”  I wondered how this lesson would have affected me at a younger age if delivered by someone who I considered to be a mentor.  I am sure that his employees must be affected by this and how it would most likely have a carry-over affect to other compassionate acts in their lives.  They must be very loyal employees, I imagined.

I got off the bus and quickly called my mother just to say hello and tell her how much I love her.  She knows, but I tell her again and again at every opportunity. 

I thought about the current economic situation and all the inhumanity around me all of a sudden.  There have been waves of unkindness and indifference.  This gentleman (and it is unfortunate to note that I use that term sparingly these days) reminded me that it isn’t universal; people do care.  Sometimes you meet people and they are there to teach you some valuable lessons in life; or perhaps just to make you recall true decency.  I try to listen to voices in a variety of packages; as you never know where the major life lessons will come from.  In this case, it might just have been from a guy I met on a bus.

In the news today: Shot in Her Head and Agility Embezzlement Allegation

We get fascinating stuff 'round here.  From the Arab Times today:

Murder Case Hearing Against ‘Royal’ Adjourned To June 3^rd

KUWAIT CITY, May 13: The Misdemeanor Court adjourned to June 3rd the murder case filed against a ruling family member of rank ‘Captain’ employed at Ministry of Interior for allegedly murdering a Kuwaiti woman. The plaintiff counsel Attorney Ali Al-Ali demanded temporary compensation worth KD 5,001, presenting evidences to prove that the murder of his client was planned. He also requested to present witnesses at the court. According to the case file, the defendant was chasing a vehicle when he shot the victim in her head, supposedly by mistake, which led to her death due to brain hemorrhage

Agility in the News Again

On the other hand, MP Askar Al-Enezi presented questions to Finance Minister Dr Anas Al-Saleh about the violations of Agility Company, specifically the allegation that the company has embezzled government funds. He claimed the company has been granted government-owned land areas under the pretext of building warehouses, but it rented out these areas to the government and individuals illegally. According to the State Audit Bureau report, Agility forged documents submitted to different governmental bodies to obtain State-owned land; thereby, embezzling public funds estimated at KD 63.5 million.  In light of the above, Al-Enezi asked the government to clarify the issue as he wants to know if an investigation has been carried out. If yes, he demanded for copies of the investigation results and the relevant documents. 

Living Arrangements

I haven't found an apartment yet.  I  haven't been as aggressive as I was (in 2008) in looking for one - mostly because I am comfortable where I am and I know that my dogs are being well cared for.  I can't continue to live off the kindness of my friends for forever and I know that, but I don't want to be in the same position with an apartment that I was with this past one (Hell House in Rumaithiya).

I saw one lovely apartment in Salaam, courtesy of My Favorite Realtor, Zamina.  It was grand and OTT and huge, but the problem was that the owner lived on the other side of the wall, right smack next door.

Sidebar:  If you are looking for an apartment, call Zamina at 99464866.  Someone should take that apartment.  It has 3 bedrooms, huge balcony terrace outside, very good/private separated rooms and long hallways, enormous maid's room and bathroom, and a huge kitchen.  It isn't exactly my taste - not simple.  HUGE crystal chandeliers and oddly decorated (nothing you can paint over or try to re-arrange).  Ok, the shit is tacky.... just sayin.  But it is still a great living space.

I saw another one in Salwa that would have been suitable - had it not been for the tear-down.  Why do people SHOW apartments when they are in a state of destruction?  Literally - the entire tiled floored surface of the place was torn out.  The light fixtures were torn out (although you could tell it used to be a F flat by the lighting system and a few other details).  "Oh, don't worry, madame. That will be fixed by the time you move in."  Really?  Seriously?  And you couldn't have swept up the 3" cockroach in the middle of the living room? (They thought that my question was hilarious.  NOT!)  What is WRONG with people?  Also, as soon as they saw the blonde, they called back and said that the apartment was going to be 50KD more than they had told me when they showed it to me. Apparently, you pay more for the roaches.  KMA mofos.  You have no idea...

Another little ditty along those lines.... Saw an apartment  (in 2008) in a new building in Maidan Hawalli.  Nice looking building.  Centrally located.  All new.  I walked into the apartment and (get this shit - I can't make it up):  someone had sprayed the place with machine gun fire.  Every wall.  Straight lines (obviously someone who knew how to hold a gun).  I'm like, "Dude!  Who died here?"  Again... here comes that South-O-The-Pyramid's line, "Oh, don't worry, madame.  That will be fixed by the time you move in."  Really? Seriously?  I couldn't run fast enough (in heels) to get out of there.

Sigh.

Anyways, I'm holding out for the right apartment. It will come.  I have no doubt.

I moved some of my furniture to the farm to my room there, so I have a little piece of home.  It is more like a nun's cell (as if!) but I have my things and my space and that makes me happy.

I took Mikey to the beach this weekend.  He had a great time chasing waves and running up and down.  He's staying with the 2 angel friends at Dogs Spa Hotel (9494-0004 or Instagram @dogs_spa_hotel) and they're not only caring for him, but socializing him with other dogs and training him.  He got to visit his girlfriend, Lucy, this weekend at our farm also.  He gave me lots of dog hugs and was constantly aware of where I was. Desert Dawg is with another angel down in Mahboula (or Mangaf - not sure and I always get that area confused).  My friend, SalonGirl, has known Desert Dawg since she (DD) was a puppy.  I know she's in good hands.  I miss my kids.

I've been a little vulnerable during this whole trauma and I may not have been thinking clearly.  I put my trust (again) in a man who has done me wrong in the past and again - he proved himself unworthy and walked away.  Sometimes you just want someone next to you to give you a hug and tell you that everything is going to be ok.  I didn't get a hug.  I didn't get a goodbye even.  Just left again.  (Wish you well and hope you find what you are looking for, my Lost Boy. I fear for your regrets down the line, but there's nothing more I can do to help you.)

When this kind of destruction happens in your life, you immediately become aware of who your friends are; and who are not.  I hate being taught that lesson.  Sometimes you would rather just leave people as "acquaintances" and not consider them friends and learn that they are not.  Some people are just there to kick you when you're down.  Some are holding you up and giving you comfort.

I kind of had a meltdown at the farm the other night - in front of my real friends who have never seen me cry before.  Two of them (and one was a man) started crying with me. I ended up consoling them. If I hear one more person tell me, "You're strong..." I am going to whoop somebody's ass.  Even strong people have their limits.  My limits have been reached and exceeded.  One of my little goats even died during all this.

My real friends keep telling me how blessed I am (and I am blessed, Thank You, God!).  Because God is closing doors to open others.  He is showing me things and teaching me things and helping me help other people (I hope).

What is weird is that I have slept so well every night since all of this happened.  I can't explain it because usually under a lot of stress I can't sleep, but OMG - I'm doing so well in that regard.  I still look like crap, but that's to be expected (having some work done as soon as I can get back to the States!  Woo hooo.)

Anyhooser, enough gloom.  It's another beautiful day in Kuwait. The sun is shining.  I'm having a good hair day.  I'm sippin on a vanilla soy latte (iced) and I'm going to kick some contracting butt at work now.

Have a blessed day, everybody.

Assmonkey Landlord

I moved out completely yesterday.  Given the eviction notice on March 25 and moved out on April 29.  (Pretty quick if you ask me - by Kuwait standards).  Legally, I didn't HAVE to move out until January 1 of 2016.  But - can't live under constant physical and emotional threats.

I do not have a home yet, but I will find something.  I'm not concerned.  I'm staying with my BFF. We gossip. I sleep in a totally comfortable, quiet and secure room.  I know my kids are ok.  And tomorrow - I will start driving my own car again and give back the BigBadBedouinTruck (although I have thoroughly enjoyed driving that wrecking ball of badass machinery!)

Assmonkey is now playing silly games about returning the security deposit.  Now, I know that might SHOCK some of you (that I actually think that I would get my security deposit back....)  To most landlords here, a security deposit just translates to extra money for them.

Cool thing is that  you don't have to clean to get  your security deposit back.  Need I say more?  I left with dignity, but I'm not going to wash the floors either.  (I should have saved some of that dog poo that they threw at my  door...)  Alas, that would have been beneath me.

Anyhooser,  I have a lawyer who is completely authorized to act on my behalf.  I'm not doing squat.  Let them collect the money.

Assmonkey told us that he has a lawyer.  He provided his name and a false phone number to me.  Nice to drop names (because apparently Assmonkey KNOWS a lawyer, but just hasn't actually retained him.)  Ha!  Cheap.  Then Assmonkey has said that I need to deal with his mother and his sister from now on (because he's a REAL man and has his mommy do things for him).  I giggle. AssmonkeyMom and AssmonkeySister's  names are not on my rental contract:  His is.  Whatever the assmonkey family has done to me; he will answer for.

Assmonkey also wanted me to sign an agreement that I would not pursue any additional legal action against him or his family.  Now that thar is the funniest thang I've ever heard!  He so fun-neeee.  The criminal suit can play itself out.  I believe the police involvement and their level of anger over how I was treated/threatened is enough to keep that ball rolling without too much intervention. And then there is the civil suit:  I signed a "No KY" clause to allow my peeps to go after whatever they can, however long it takes, whatever it takes.

I am now closing the door on this chapter and thinking of positive things.

oooooosaaaaaaa

11 May Update

They said I stole their refrigerator.  That is the latest reason they provided for not returning my 400kd security deposit.  Well, Assmonkeys... it's like this.  In 2007, my sister bought a $10,000 over-the-top gorgeous refrigerator for her home in Virginia.  I had fridge-envy, so I searched Kuwait high and low to find a (much cheaper alternative) similar stainless-steel refrigerator.  I found it.  That was SEVEN years ago.  Assmonkeys are so CHEAP that they want to quibble over a refrigerator.  Phuck them!  They are so unprofessional that they never asked me to sign an inventory listing; which means, I can state that they stole "my" dishwasher, washer/dryer, and stove.  Turn-around is fair play.

I wasn't there for the final inspection/walk through.  I refused.  I'm paying a lawyer (God bless her) and she represented me (I was out of town anyways).  She did the walk through.  Assmonkey wasn't there; he sent his mother, sister (the hariss) and psycho brother.  They all wanted to tell stories/lies to my lawyer again.  She wasn't having it.  She did the inspection with them - all normal wear and tear after 6 years - and took the keys with her to deposit with the court.

Now, I'm sure that Assmonkeys have already broken into the apartment.  That is a matter for the court to take up with them.  As it is in dispute, it is illegal for them to enter the apartment until the court makes a determination and they (Assmonkey himself) go to the court, pay the security deposit, and take ownership of the keys/apartment.  I hope my lawyer goes to the apartment and witnesses their illegal entry and discusses it in court.

The criminal case is still pending.

Assmonkeys did tell my lawyer that they plan to gut the apartment.  This translates to they are going to make it into smaller bedrooms so that a family can move in for more money.  [God willing, the Assmonkey family will hire a cheap contractor (or not pay them at all) and the contractor will knock out a load-bearing wall and they'll all be down there at the same time and crushed to death. ]

KUWAIT!  If you are not going to allow foreigners to buy property in Kuwait, you need to start creating and enforcing fair and decent tenancy laws.  

Not everyone has the salary I do.  Not everyone can afford lawyers when this type of blatantly criminal activity against innocent tenants takes place.