Shack Rental: Barbi Beach House Baybee

This is where I'm shacking up with the fam in August on the Outer Banks.

I have the coolest sister in the whole world. This is going to be a way fun summer. The back of the house is on the beach. Just a few more months AND I got my United Flights booked direct to DC. Yippppeeeeeeee. Get those pitchers of margaritas ready!

Go Jimmy!

I love Jimmy Carter. He has the cojones to say what we all feel and the record in office to support his convictions.

… “We now have endorsed the concept of pre-emptive war where we go to war with another nation militarily, even though our own security is not directly threatened, if we want to change the regime there or if we fear that some time in the future our security might be endangered," he said. "But that's been a radical departure from all previous administration policies."
Carter, who won a Nobel Peace Prize in 2002, criticized Bush for having "zero peace talks" in Israel. Carter also said the administration "abandoned or directly refuted" every negotiated nuclear arms agreement, as well as environmental efforts by other presidents.

Carter also offered a harsh assessment for the White House's Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, which helped religious charities receive $2.15 billion in federal grants in fiscal year 2005 alone.

"The policy from the White House has been to allocate funds to religious institutions, even those that channel those funds exclusively to their own particular group of believers in a particular religion," Carter said.

FoodDude Phucked Up My Mood!

Problems exist with pest control everywhere. Establishments just need to control the situation so that customers can rest assured that the food is hygienic. Complaints about service are one thing, but no one wants to take chances when it comes to their health.

Something is being done about the situation at the hotel and they have tried to make amends, so I feel more comfortable that yes – something is being done to correct the problem. They have a lovely new F&B Manager who spoke to me at length about their plans. They have had meetings and created action plans and schedules – which is all I really wanted to know. I have still eaten at their restaurants since the incident - I just haven't ordered anything from that one particular kitchen until I feel comfortable.

I discovered that I have known the inspector for the area all along. I wouldn't say FoodDude is a friend (and he certainly isn’t after the amount of insults he hurled at me when I saw him last night in "I am zee man" after five years – dude phucked up my mood) -- only an acquaintance. He was concerned that the blog would get him in trouble because it may imply that he wasn't doing his job. Well, if the shoe fits.... In my 10 years of visiting the place, I have never personally seen him there.

I am under the impression that he was there because I sent him an SMS and an e-mail detailing the story. He called me while I was there and he said he was coming over. When he arrived, he sat at a table closeby and asked ME to go sit with him to discuss it. Uh, no. I was enjoying my meal with a friend. He eventually came over and talked to me about it.

FoodDude wasn't very interested in checking the conditions of the kitchen (only relaying to us how we can get into the health club for free after 12 am when none of the security is looking. Thanks, but I would rather pay full price for a membership.). He wanted to inspect the kitchen while it was open and all the lights were on/all the people were there. (Which of course is the worst possible time to spot any nocturnal creature.) I told him to go back to the kitchen with a flashlight an hour after closing time. One would think that a food inspector may have known this. He spoke to the manager at the restaurant (who has nothing at all to do with the situation) and smoked sheesha for several hours.

FoodDude wanted me to take the post down about the hotel. I have taken it down – not to appease someone who is worried about the impression of not properly doing a job – but because things have been done by the management to resolve the problem (without the assistance of the local authorities) and to make their customer feel secure.

FoodDude further warned me that the establishment in question is an international chain and implied that I would get in trouble. (He hasn’t seen this blog – only heard of it.) Well hey, the truth is the truth and blogs like this are how things are publicized: Welcome to the world of technology. In fact, Kuwait is on a voyage of improvement (with a good captain and crew). More people are going to have to get off their butts and do their jobs as it all becomes more transparent.

And why does it have to be a negative thing? It isn't all about fines and punishment: It should be about Government cooperation with local businesses (ok, ideally, but yes - it could happen here too). Can authorities who conduct food inspections work hand-in-hand with restaurants in resolving problems that occur? Can they/do they provide advice and assistance so that local establishments serve food properly? If the food inspectors need training, train them.

The website for the Kuwait Municipality (which handles food inspections in the various areas of Kuwait) does not have a function key for English translation. The site appears to contain all kinds of exciting information – only I can’t read it. A large portion of the population in Kuwait is English-speaking. Almost everything here is bi-lingual. Why not allow for that functionality on local government websites, so that consumers can gain access to information for complaints?

Just Ask Desert Girl

For all you inquiring minds, I checked into TSC's JustAsk service and this was the response:

JustAsk

"We are 100% profit free. But you will be liable of paying the handling and shipping fee. Our handling fee is fixed to 4.5 KD on every online merchant you choose to order from the 1st five different items, after five exceeding item will be .300fils additional handling fee. However, if the item is only 1 kind of more than 5 it will be the same fee of KD 4.5 Our shipping fee is depend on the weight of the item. The 1st half kilo will be 3 KD. ... It is preferable to order more than 1 item in the same merchant since the handling will be the same."

So, for my single bottle of Cibu Hiya conditioner, for example,
Item Cost: KD 6.585 ($21.95)
Shipping: 3.330
Handling: 4.500
Total : 14.415

Each additional order is a separate S&H charge.


I spotted The Man. I don't know if he saw me or not. I know, I know - after everything and yet when I see him.... I wish there was just an on/off switch to make your heart stop feeling things. Or maybe some kind of total recall machine that you could eliminate certain memories to make you feel the way you did/do.

Why did he go to Phuket?
Why did he break all his promises?
Why couldn't he do things the right way?
Why did he ask me about money at 4 am after the fight?
Why did everything have to have an ulterior motive?

(She might have been there to gain information, but she's not my friend if that's all she wanted.)
Don't people ever get tired of the games and the hachi? Wallah, it makes me sick.

I digress. Phuckit.

I haven't heard a weather report, but I need to get back out on the boat and have a fun weekend!

Sexy Ride (So to Speak)...

Sexy, isn't it?

So, I'm going to Virginia in August. We are meeting up with the fam on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I've never been there. My younger sister has rented a place on the sea big enough for everybody. It should be a lot of girl fun because my older sister and her daughter will be there too. I can't wait.

Today is mother's day in the US and I sent flowers to my mom, my sister's mom-in-law, and my great-aunt. I love flowiz. They love flowiz. We all love flowiz.

Ever felt like your job is sucking the life right out of you? I swearaGod, I feel like all my personality is gone and I am just left with a shell of my former existence. Ok, not that the past 18 months of personal life has been a walk in the park either. The Man is still out there somewhere and God hasn't hit him with a stick yet. (My oracle says - June 2008.) You know what - if you had done it the RIGHT WAY.... ok, nevermind. I digress again....

Celebrate, bitches! To try to de-stress, I had a 90 minute facial (fruit mask) on Friday. It was AMAZING and it only cost 6 kd. (God help me, but whenever I say, "facial" my mind automatically goes into dirty-drive. STOP IT!) New Sheryl's Salon in Salmiya. It is a small place, but clean and nice. La Fem wanted 140kd for 2 sessions of about the same thing (maybe the products were different, but still). WTF? I could throw some veggies in my blender and make about 1,000 masks for 140 KD.

This seems to be a week of Undersecretary fun. Don't ask me why, but I have several friends who are - and they called me at the same time. Why? I don't know; perhaps it is to consult on matters of national security? Tee hee.

And now for some peeves:

• Why does Linda on FM99.7 always chop the songs off?
• Why has Kharafi started to do more demolition on my street again?
• Why hasn't the Crowne Plaza made me feel any better about mouse poop in their food?
• Why does Sultan Center's JustAsk service cost so much?
• Why do Egyptian women in 20-year-old-4-door saloon cars cut me off every morning?

Oh - here is a good one: Why can't I find a good gym that I don't have to refinance my invisible house for?? I've been going with the Romanian to check out gyms. The one at the Holiday Inn, Salmiya was good, but unfortunately, a guy from our mutual past goes there and he ranks very high on the scale of "ick and ew" and he'd be in our faces all the time. "Desert Girl, call me..." said with a slimy handshake and very lustfully. Ew. Ick. Go home to your wife, loserboy. Anyhoo, Body Lynn was a smelly dump. The CP has potential, but then again if the kitchens aren't clean, what about the gym? I gotta check Marina Hotel and the SAS again. From what I remember of The Palms, there were just too many picolo-playing poser guys in there for me. You know the kind - Speedo Men. I really do need to find something close to home or I will never go. I checked out Champions in Jabriya, but I know that I'll stop going after a while because I hate Jabriya traffic.

What to do, baba? I tell you what I HAVE been doing: Staying at home on my sofa with my dog and Thai carry-out food.

Of Mice and Men (Thanks, Evil!)

Git jiggy wi' it. na na na na na naa na.... (Purgaliscous style)

Is Bluetooth dead in Kuwait? I’m just wondering, because I haven’t had any stimulating Bluetooth action in a while. When we went to the Emirates – no one does it down there. Well, the men down there don’t even smile at you. It is totally cold. Brrrrrr. I try to get creative about it with my girlfriends. When I go out with The Romanian, we double-time them with nicknames of “Pull my hair” and “Slap my A&%”. If one of my girlfriends gets bluetoothed, sometimes we wage war just for fun, sending a deluge of Bluetooth messages to the guy. The stupider he is, the more fun it is for us. Then, we just leave. I’m sure they do too – eventually – on the short bus.

I got Bluetoothed by a visiting Saudi guy recently – workably cute. I called him (because he’s visiting and I can get rid of him). He returned the call at 2 am, asking if I could go to see him THEN at the hotel. I said, ‘No.’ He said, “Why?” I said, “Cause I’m not a whore.” End of discussion. I don’t believe in mincing words.

Remember way-back before caller identification when idiots used to call randomly until they got someone interesting to answer the phone? I had something like that happen the other day – although I am pretty sure that someone gave this creature my number. He sent me his picture on MMS. I just have one thing to say: If you are butt-ugly, there is no reason to spread your picture around or try to meet women that way. WTF. It had to be a joke.

Is it because the weather is changing/getting hotter that all the mac daddies come out of the woodwork? My friend called me the other day – completelyshitfaced drunk to talk dirty to me (I was in the office). (Obviously, this is The Universe phuckin with me over the pranks I pull during Ramadan.) Never in the 7 years that I’ve known this guy has he ever said anything slightly dirty. I couldn’t believe the stuff he was saying. I had to laugh.

My girlfriends are trying to get me to go out and date more. WWWWHHHHHYYYYY??? I keep meeting stupid men, so why should I bother? Stooooopid men – not your average idiots. Even the ones who cleaverly disguise themselves as smart men turn out to be morons in the end (I’m not naming names, but you are such a fool.)

Anyhoo, have you ever re-visited a guy who you have dated before and you couldn’t remember why you didn’t want to continue dating him because he is amazingly attractive? Ok, let me just say this (so I can look back and remember it later): There is always a valid reason why you didn’t call him back, you moron. I saw a guy at the Crowne Plaza (the night before the Vermin incident) that I went out with something like 3 years ago; tall, gorgeous smile, great looks. So, we agreed to meet again at the Crowne Plaza for coffee – just the two of us. We planned it for like a week and had several discussions about meeting at the CP in FARWANIYA. I got there – wearing my best-new-butt-hugging-jeans and looking (as well as can be expected after a 10 hour workday) fabulous. He called me and said, “I’m in the lobby. Where are you?” I told him I was in the lobby too, but I couldn’t see him. This continued for a few minutes until I figured out that he was in the Salmiya Holiday Inn. Seeeeeeeya! This is why I don’t date (as often as I used to/could). Honestly. I can’t even tell you how hungry and tired I was. Soooo, God in His Grace sent Bobarino to the rescue (who was just walking into Sakura and I had a really nice dinner).

The Fireman is starting the “You my woman” BS. I hate that. I’m MY woman. He’s been out with me ONCE and he’s already started the “don’t do this, don’t do that” routine. Boyfriend is in for an interesting ride (so to speak). Beg me, baby.

This section on Mousepoop has been deleted. Want more mouse control/ behavior facts? Click HERE.

1300 Volts of Sucking Action

After ten years, I have no longer been getting the sucking action I used to. My 800 volt machine just didn’t suck like before. It would blow, but it wouldn’t really suck. I was heartbroken. Immediate action was required.

Where in Kuwait do you go when your sucking power no longer functions? It was a perplexing dilemma. I searched in Hawalli and then I turned to Humood (Tower, that is).

Yes, dirty-minded perverts, I am talking about a Hoover. Jashanmal is the Hoover agent and they’re located in Humood (Tower, that is). I first went to Hawalli in search of the perfect sucker, but then I was directed towards the center of Kuwait – downtown. Yes people, that is correct; if you want pure sucking satisfaction you must go downtown. There is no if’s, and’s or butts about it: go downtown. When in doubt, go downtown. It is the answer to many of life’s problems.

At first, I turned to the Lebanese sales guys in Al Ghanim. While they present a nice package, they just don’t have the knowledge of downtown.

Yes, we are still talking about Hoovers, dirty-minded perverts.

Now, at Al Ghanim, they sell the Hoover with swirling action. While swirling action presents a nice display, the knowledgeable guys at Jashanmal were able to tell me that pure sucking power doesn’t come from swirling; it comes from a higher voltage motor (I knew that).

I went home with the 1300 volt “Fold-Away” upright Hoover with the sucking hose attachment. It comes pre-assembled (“just add dirt”). I immediately turned it on when I got home and let me tell you – it is a dream; it doesn’t blow, it just sucks (and it has a light). My last 800 volt Hoover lasted me 10 years. I am hoping that I will get as much use out of this new one.

Yes, dirty-minded perverts, I am talking about housework.