1st Day of Invisilign Braces

So I got my braces (clear plastic trays basically) put in today.  They had to install anchors (little points of enamel that help hold the trays in - or work on particular teeth).  I have one lower tooth in the front that is back a little, so to my great dismay, I have an anchor in the front of my mouth.  They're white enamel so you can't really tell; I can, however, and it is pissing me off.  10 months of that little sucker in the middle of my smile.

The Romanian sent me an SMS today, "Do you really need braces?"  I'm like, I've always wanted straight teeth.  Her reply, "I can understand that.  I've always wanted a bigger ass."  Can't help with that, although I've heard that women (and some in Kuwait) are getting ass lifts and implants.  Brazilian implants supposedly.  Nothing that a few Big Macs couldn't accomplish, I'm guessin.

So back to the braces....

They give you new trays every 2 weeks.  In my case, since I live in Kuwait, they are giving me a bunch.  When I get back here (maybe in a few months), the dentist will check me again to make sure everything is going ok and give me some more trays.

The first time you put in a new tray, it's TIGHT. I mean, I feel the pressure and I'm not liking it.  My sister (who has had them) says you get used to it.  My speech is kind of slurred.  I sound like a fat kid with too much ice cream in her mouth.  It's kind of a slushy/slurry sound to speech.  I'm workin on my diction.  (Look it up, pervs. It's not what you think.)

So, in 10 months, I'll have straight and white (cause they're going to brighten them) teeth.  I'll be Britany,  biotch.

Christmas Caroling in my Office

My mother remarked recently that she never hears people singing anymore.  She grew up with my grandmother either humming a tune or singing in the house and she (my mother) thought it odd how things have changed.

My office is kind of an open plan; management has walls, but no doors which open into a bullpen area.  Our employees are mostly Indian Christians.  We have a little Christmas tree and decorations.  This is the first office I've worked in, in Kuwait, that has allowed employees to put up a tree. That's probably because of Stella.  Not sure.   We have a secret Santa lunch every year and a lot of the Muslim employees love to get in on the fun.

Right now, I'm listening to most of our staff in the bullpen singing Chrismas carols.  It is really lovely and I'm finally getting in the Christmas spirit.  (Ok, that and because I'm gettin on da plaaaaane.)

Disclaimer:  Again, I hate it when people randomly break into song and expect you to sit around diligently like you paid to attend their personal performance.  I think I have posted about this before.  It has happened to me many times; most recently with 2 different Lebanese women on different occasions; both DEMANDING that everybody shut up and listen to them - and they were in MY house.  Faux pas.  Dayum.  Christmas carols are different.

Here we go again: Kuwait's Newest New Government

Photo courtesy of the Arab Times (I think the editor dislikes Rola Dashti because there are much better photos of her out there.  Shame on them for printing this one).

Hmmm... whole lot of Sheikhs, aren't there?  I am HAPPY that there are female ministers this time around.

Good luck, new government.  I wish you much success and Inshallah,  progress for the country.

Qatar's 'One of Us' Campaign

The following is a re-post from Here There and Everywhere, Intlxpatr's, Blog.  I like it.  Kuwait may not have the same social problem (yet) but from what I have seen, the trend is starting to grow; not even so much from expat women, but from Kuwaiti women.  Clothes are getting a lot more revealing - and that is even when the girls are fully covered (hobaya and the like).

Anyhooser, this kind of gives ladies who might be travelling to the GCC an indication of what types of clothes the local ladies would like us to pack. Personally, I have no problem with it.  I've always dressed somewhat conservatively.

Qatar ‘ONE OF US’ Campaign –Nice Touch

Expat women who don’t wear enough clothing has long been a bone of contention for traditional and conservative Qatari women, who find themselves a minority in their own country. I remember well the anguish in the voice of one of my friends talking about how the salesgirl her mother was speaking with was showing “everything” AND she didn’t even speak Arabic, only English. Her mother was wondering whose country Qatar was?

Qatar doesn’t want to go to the extreme lengths of Saudi Arabia, they just want the non-Moslem, non-local women to cover up a little. Oh! Not just the women, the men, too! It’s a cute campaign – If you’re here, you’re one of us. I like it. It has a welcoming sound, but at the same time it politely reminds the expat that we are a guest in their country. This is the expectation, stated politely. Here is one of the visuals
(I found this article on Doha News)

A grassroots modesty campaign started by a group of Qatari women this summer has received the backing of the Qatar Tourism Authority, with the goal of helping visitors and expat residents “avoid embarrassment” and “feel welcome” here, the group has announced.

The “One of Us” drive, which was launched in June, highlights the part of the Qatari penal code that prohibits wearing “indecent” clothing in public, but adds to it by clarifying what exactly is deemed inappropriate – namely, bare shoulders and legs.

QTA will ensure that the dress code campaign guidelines will be displayed on posters in shopping malls and public spaces. They will also be posted on the QTA website and in future guides and brochures that the group publishes.

In June, campaign organizer Najla Al-Mahmoud told Doha News:

I don’t blame foreigners as they come from a different culture and they don’t know that it’s not acceptable… that’s why a group of ladies from different group of age gathered and decided to do something for Qatar…

We don’t want to interfere with anyone’s religion and force them to wear hijab … we only want modest clothing. It’s a matter of etiquette and class. We want to be able to go to public places without a lot of flesh around us.

Despite organizers’ efforts not to raise hackles, the campaign sparked a fierce debate on social media and Doha News about local/expat relations and the definition of decency.

Commenter J wrote:
This is a tricky issue for ex-pat women here as being “modest” is relative. And there are lots of mixed messages. You may see a young Muslim woman wearing a Shayla, a long, loose skirt, and the tightest long-sleeve shirt you’ve ever seen, leaving little to the imagination. And men wear tight t-shirts, tight skinny jeans, and shirts with the first three buttons open showing their chest. I think this campaign should not be aimed at everyone, not just at ex-pat women.

Others said they supported the campaign and expressed appreciation for having concrete guidelines to follow.

Meanwhile, Qatar University rolled out its own dress code in September, to mixed reaction from the student body, who are now prohibited from wearing tight, revealing clothing (including tight abayas) and casual wear like sweatpants and Bermuda shorts.

Read more: http://dohanews.co/post/35971777135/backing-one-of-us-modesty-campaign-qta-to-post-dress#ixzz2EnyeL3G9

12/12/12

Fascinating date.

So, I'm flying to Virginia to be with my family for the anticipated end of the world (according to the Mayans).  "Desert Girl, do you really believe in that?"  Perhapsee I do, perhapsee I don't, but hey - it is a great excuse to get on the plane a little earlier than usual and hang with the fam (also known as "being annoying and getting on their nerves").

I am rather melancholy about leaving a certain individual behind, Desert Guy (because he literally lives in the desert during camping season).  Not a Bedu - definitely hather, but loves the desert.   I have been having so much fun lately (Mashallah, hot eyes people) that I kind of don't want to miss the fun here (shut uuuuup - I am too serious!).  I met DGy about 6 years ago under strange circumstances (he was getting beaten up by his then-girlfriend, accusing him of cheating.... 'nother story).  Amusing, but not.  Next time I saw him, he revealed that "most women I meet are just after me for my money."  He seemed sincere enough and kind of down because of the realization.  I told him, 'I'm not after you for your money.  I have my own.  I just think you're f-ing HOT.' and then walked away.  I guess I made an impression because we kept in touch (although he was still married at the time and I think I might have still been pining over The Man - bad timing.)  Times have changed... happy sigh.  SweartoGod, if I was independently wealthy (and DGy could put up with me...), I would be living out there in the desert with them for the next few months (they have a jacuzzi in the camp - it isn't exactly like we'd be roughing it).

... But I'm happy about going to Virginia.  I hope that my older sister will be up from Texas with her family.  She's such a positive person and I try to learn from her.  She's Texan and you know how they are:  they can make anything  sound sweet.  She's always giggling and bubbly and an all-around good drinking partner.  When the 3 of us sisters get together, it's a lot of fun.

I've been Christmas shopping online this year and thank God Amazon keeps track of my purchases, because I sure as Hell can't.

Suicidal Santa

I had lunch at the Crowne Plaza, Farwaniya with Stella yesterday (gettin my sush on) and noticed Santa about to jump.  There are suicidal santas on both sides of the atrium.  What is the message they are trying to convey?   Hey - add your own on the comments....

2012 World's Best Airline Award Goes To....

Everybody loves a good pole... I mean, poll....

This one is from Global Travelers Magazine. It ranks the world's best airline as Singapore Airlines.  Additional poll scorers were:

Global Traveler magazine 2012 Annual Reader Survey Awards

Best Airline in the World: Singapore Airlines
Best Airline for International First Class: Emirates
Best Airline for Business Class: British Airways
Best Airline for Flight Attendants: Asiana Airlines
Best Airline for Flight Attendant Uniforms: Etihad Airways
Best Airline Cuisine: Alitalia

The complete list can be viewed HERE.

Whaaaaaaat - no United?  Gee.  How bout a favorable mention for outstanding service at check-in?  (LMAO)

Online Travelers Insurance

I have never really given much thought to travelers insurance until my friend had to go to the emergency room  on a visit to the States.  The cost:  $7000.  She had Gulf Insurance Traveler's Insurance.  It took a while to get reimbursed, but she finally did.

GIC makes it very easy to buy with a credit card or KNET online  (link HERE).  For me, it was 17KD (for $150,000 coverage)  They offer individual and family packages.

Transparency/Infidelity

I was actually thinking of this subject on the way to work this morning.  I have one of those "holier than thou" acquaintances who has emphasized many many times how faithful he is to his wife.  Eh?  What's that?  I guess 3-ways (without your wife) don't count?  Ooops.  Sometimes when you talk about it too much, it means that it is exactly the opposite, n'est pas?

Funny how these guys twist it.

I sat down to look at the paper and there is an article that stated, "Women can tell with some accuracy whether an unfamiliar male is faithful simply by looking at his face but men seem to lack the same ability...."  Fassscinating.  I think its true.

So while you are handing us BS about what a wonderful, faithful person you are, most of us already know the truth.

December 6

Happy birthday, dear angel.  RIP

I think about you all the time and you're never really gone

as long as people who love you still remember.

What are the odds they all have the same name??

So since I met The Man, I have met 3 more men with the same first and last name (initials "HS").  I even met one of them while I was sitting with The Man's daughter at the US Embassy.  What kind of karma is THAT?

The Romanian thinks it is hilarious that The Universe keeps phuckin with me in this way.  Sometimes I can see them coming and I'll say to TR, 'Wait for it, wait for it... here it comes.... his name is going to be Hamad S....'  Ha ha.  Very funny, Universe.  TR:  "You know he's your destiny." (Lots and lots of giggles on her part.)  Me, non-plussed:  Oh yeah?  Really?  Huh.  That's fascinating.

Anyhooser, I met another one this week.  When I met him, I just knew him as "Bu Salem".  Didn't know a first or last name, didn't ask. Didn't care.  Business-related thing.  No biggie.  I'm not thinking anything about him one way or another.... Then, dude asks me to go to dinner (of COURSE HE DID)  and I found out his real name.

Oh snap.  Again?

What IS it with that name?  It isn't like it should be so common.  It isn't like it is Mohammed something.  Everybody is named Mohammed.

I won't tell you how my dinner date with HS#4 went.  Not that memorable.  Guess he was just sent as some kind of sick reminder.  I might have given dude a chance (maybe, but then again no) if he had just kept his name as "Bu Salem".

Yeah baby, there is nothing like the original.  A copy of a copy is never the same.   Hope you are doing well and thanks for writing to my mom.

More animal poisoning in Kuwait - Pet owners beware

Ladies Who Do Lunch In Kuwait Blog posted yesterday about poison being put out for snails.  It will also kill pets.  This morning, I was unfortunate enough to come across one of our neighborhood's stray cats, which had obviously died of poisoning.  (I did not want to pass along a gory photo, but the death must have been pretty horrific; bleeding profusely from the mouth and bulging red eyes.)

Beware pet owners.

See LWDLIK blog post here.

Musla7a

Musla7a (mus-la-ha) in the local dialect means benefiting, leaching, freeloading, using someone.  I have witnessed a shiiiitload of musla7a behavior since I've been here.  Some of it, recently, I've let go for the sake of "friendship".  So what is friendship, one might question, if it is musla7a?  Well dear friends, bada bing:  that is the question.

Parasites are not your friends.  People who just want to use you for something are not your friends. (I LOVE how they try to flip it around and make it appear to be YOUR fault too.)

Little ditty about "Nadia" (not her real name).  I met Nadia in the States.  When I moved to Kuwait, I got to know her and her family.  We got to be good friends.  She asked me if I thought she had a boyfriend. I thought it was an odd question; regardless, I didn't care, I said.  Not my business if (married) Nadia had a boyfriend or not.  This was 1997.  I used to travel a lot for work (still do, really).  Nadia finally fessed up to having a boyfriend shortly after and while I was away, would I mind if they went to my apartment.  Hmmmm....  Cut to a few months later when she calls me after work to ask me if I could "leave my apartment for a few hours so that they could stop by...."

NadiaBiotch and her boyfriend never invited me to a meal; never brought me a gift; never did squat.  I think they may have once left a can of Pepsi in my refrigerator.

I put my foot down.  Enough was enough.  Nadia went into flip mode and gave me a tirade about how DARE I?  Did I want money?  Was that it?  Did I want them to pay?  Yada.  I'm like, 'Biotch please!  This is my HOME.  How dare you and your trifling boyfriend (who, in 1997 couldn't afford 85kd/mo to pay the rent on a studio apartment at that time for the both of them - SINCE they had been together for ELEVEN years.)

Cut to 2012 when I thought my BS detectors have been properly calibrated....

Little ditty about Timmy (he's Kuwaiti, but I've decided to call him Timmy and change his name from the regular one I've been using.)

I've known Timmy for 2+ years and I kind of let annoying things go:  Like how he was always at my house, drinking all my stuff, never replacing anything, never inviting me to a meal, never bringing me a gift, inviting his 7ailag (low class) friends (although not all of them; some are actually quite nice) to my house constantly.  Then, more recently,  Timmy started using my place as  a launch pad to the next party (without ever inviting me).  He would just disappear during the evening with a group of followers and then blatantly lie about it.  His friends took an entire Smir blue bottle off my counter a few weeks ago (someone saw one of them actually smuggling it out of my house in a BAG) without replacing it (which has really irked me to no frick-in end....).  Timmy has pissed off a lot of my friends with his very bad temper while under the influence, rude line of questioning, and some more.

Time to stop being so "nice".  And by the way, nice doesn't mean stupid.  I'm not going to change who I am to accommodate the rudeness of others.  I am nice to people until they prove me wrong.  Desert Girl, consider yourself proven wrong.  And I am....   I'm not a doormat.  (Don't judge me.)  I have been having fun.  I love entertaining. Entertaining at this level might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's mine. Do what makes you happy, I say.   I would do more if I could.  Always have.  I like the company.  This particular situation has not been all bad.  But the bad has been mounting up (to the point where I didn't have time to talk/correct/discuss any of it) so time out.  Just too much.

One of Timmy's and my mutual friends called me.  I had no idea he was such a loyal friend, but wow; was I enlightened.    "Desert Girl!  WHAT are you DOING?  Did you know..... blah blah and yada yada??  I can't believe you let them into your home!"  Oh my gosh, like... ok.... I knew some stuff, but I didn't know other stuff.  Timmy et al  had pulled the wool right over my eyes and I have no one to blame but myself.

Bamboozled.  Hoodwinked.  Musla7a-ed.

So, when I confronted Timmy with some of the information, his reaction was to call ME rude and said that HE didn't want to be my friend anymore.  Hey, save me some effort!  Thank you.  Oh Timmy, you're soooooo.... musla7a.  Thank you for that realization even after some time.

So, back to my point:  Parasites are not your friends.  People who just want to use you for something are not your friends. It is NOT cultural that you are not invited to a Kuwaitis home or, as an alternative, invited out to dinner, invited to an event like a wedding or whatever.  If someone likes you; they like you. True friends are friends.  They want you to be part of their world.  It isn't a 1-way street.

2012 Election Winners

From Kuwait Times.  (I have been a follower of Arab Times for many years and I'm shifting gears this year by buying a Kuwait Times subscription).

... and a completely superficial, DG comment:  Could these people at least TRY to look better even for an election photo?  What is wrong with the professional photographers in this country?  I mean, there isn't a lot to work with, but c'mon....  Smile?  

965Flowers

I've been using a single online flower delivery service for a looooooooooong time.  I love them, but unfortunately, they haven't diversified an iota in... well, years I guess.

I heard about 965flowers through an ad in Bazaar Magazine (heeeeeey Ahmed, how ya do-in?) and haven't had an opportunity to try them until now.  I sent a thank you to a friend and it was the perfect item at the perfect price (not too "over the top" for a practical guy).

Unlike other flower shops, 965flowers.com is not exclusively flowers.  You can send small gift items, chocolates, and cookies also; and you have your choice of various vendors.  Excellent idea.

Some of the flowers were too.... well.... let me say "exotic" for my tastes.  You have alternative shops that offer more classic arrangements (like Nom de La Rose or Things by November).  They take KNET and credit cards.

Really great concept.  Kudos you guys.

Truly Scrumptious Bakery

I need to send a special shout out to my friend over at www.trulyscrumptiouskuwait.com.  I haven't tried any of her sweets yet, but I have been hearing the buzz for the past few months.  I also sent her a message through a friend that a great market would be for either diabetics or people who can't have gluten; especially in Kuwait.

I hope  your business flourishes, girl!

(Aren't her photos gorgeous?  Wow.)

Invisalign Braces

I never wanted braces as a kid (ok, what kid does when you come out looking like Ugly Betty?).  Back then, there weren't a lot of options, you were forced to be a metal mouth, a black and decker pecker wrecker, etc...

But now, even adults can get braces and there are a lot of options.  My friend, Slaps, got braces that were behind her teeth.  My sister got Invisalign that you couldn't tell she had in.

I started looking in Kuwait for dental clinics that did invisalign.  I didn't like the prices (around 3000KD or Around $11,000).  They were a lot more than in the States.  So, I opted to go with a dental clinic close to home in Virginia and got them for $5,500.

(If you want a listing of dentists in Kuwait who do invisalign, just google "invisalign in Kuwait".)

They start by taking moldings of your teeth in a rubbery substance.  Then, the moldings can be turned into clear plastic trays.  You go back every 4 to 6 weeks for new trays.  You take the trays out when you eat (which is also another closing point for me).

In my case, I'll have them for 10 months.  Woo hoo!

You can check out Invisalign  at www.invisalign.com.

Desert Moon

It's a full moon.  The men are frisky and the sheep are scared.  HA!

I went out last night to have coffee and the moon was baGORGEOUS.  

I met a man on my way to work this morning.  It was the cutest, cutest thing.  I loved it.  Must be the moon.  He was driving behind me, blowing me kisses.  How could he even SEE me?   Awesomely funny.  I think I found my babydaddy.  [Riiiight.  With my luck, dude will want me to have sex with a farm animal (do NOT go there, JM!!!) or his father or something equally as repugnant.]

Stella, I DO feel like Samantha on Sex and The City.  ME NO LIKE.  (I still want to see the YouTube clip of Samantha deciding she is really not a lesbian.)  HappyLesbianville has now become the butt of my friends' jokes on me.  Go ahead, bitches, laugh your assess off.  Payback is a serious bitch and I have my own float in the Bitch Parade.

Oh anyhooser, isn't the moon beautiful?

In a Frut

I'm in a funk and in a rut at the same time; a "frut".  This too shall pass, but it is kind of sucky feeling so blah.  I guess it has a lot to do with the previous post. I'm also disenchanted with several other things going on in my life.  Bygones.

I am definitely a hetero girl.  Thank you for the clarification, Bu Fahad and Bu Nawaf. Not that I doubted myself, but it was good to get it from a male perspective.

I've been back and forth to the desert a few times to see Definance.  He's such a good man.  We were there the other night when it rained really hard.  I love the rain in the desert.  I really used to hate rain in the States and I just love it here.  I don't care if it is muddy rain - I love it. 

So, only 15 more days until I'm back on a plane again.  I can't believe that this year has gone so fast.  What a year too. It has been so busy.

I got my family some really cool Christmas gifts (what did we do before the internet?  Je ne sais pas.)  Sure doesn't feel very Christmassy around here, does it?

Happy Times Three

I have a fascinating life.  I really do.

As you know, I have been debating the Happy factor and should I/shouldn't I pursue a relationshit with him;  debating basically because I crave attention and he's just not an attention-giving guy.  This, after my many many attempts to try to explain (to no avail) of my neeeeds.  I don't think it should be a big deal; if a guy likes you (especially an A-rab guy), he is going to shower you with attention, affection, and maybe even a Ferrari (HA!!!  just wishful thinking, but who knows - and Hot Wheels don't count).

Happy, as witnessed by my friends, is marriage material (not that I even believe in it anymore and when you get to the end of this post, you'll have yet another reason why):  Eligible, good family, good job, handsome (although not overly).... yada.  He knows me.  He knows my friends.  His friends know me.  He's funny, he's smart, he's well-traveled.  Loves my dog.  Takes care of his elderly parents.  Trainable?

Pero, I have felt an undercurrent. That rumbling that tells you something is wrong, but you just can't put your finger on it.

When I knew Happy first revealed his interest in me (as more than a friend), he returned from a trip and brought perfume for both me and The Romanian; which I thought it was really sweet because she's my best friend and he knows her.  If you make a good impression on the girl's best friend then you're usually in.  So when I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the States for Christmas to see my family, he offered to pay for The Romanian's trip.  When we talked about going to Phuket in February, he asked if she'd like to go.  And when we went on our first date together, he invited her.  (.... I'm still not getting it because I'm blonde and challenged....  I think it's sweet.)

He had some problems and I didn't see him for 2 weeks (although he lives a few blocks from me and could drop in to say "heyyyybaby" anytime).

This weekend, he showed up when I had some friends over.  There was some dancing going on.  My friend, LaSenza was dancing.  It was a lot of fun.  Good times.  Happy was the last to leave and I thought he was going to be happy to see me. (ha ha, get it?)

I decided that we could finally have the little talk that he had been avoiding for all this time.  He first showed his interest in me and then cooled his jets substantially.  Je didn't like it.  I asked him the chick question, "Are we just friends, or what?" (Cause I have other things to do, honestly.  Don't waste my time.  I get cranky.  Not good.)

Here...It.... Comes.  (Are you sitting down?  Are you prepared??)

"I haven't been with another woman in 2 years.  But, I have an obsession.  I like to watch lesbians."  In movies?  "No."  Oh.  Ok (trying not to be judgmental because a lot of people have a lot of "interests"...).    He gives me a totally sexy look and says, "I need you to be with another woman."  (oh no he di' in't!!!.)

Friend to lesbian in .06 seconds...  I didn't even get flowers first. Not dinner.  Not a frick'in shawarma.  Nothing.  Just laid it all out there.

Me:  "Please please, don't say anything about any of my friends....off limits."  (Hoping, but at the same time, knowing what is about to come next.) Then it hits me:  The Romanian.  She's Choice #1.  Eeek.  Ok, girlfriend is HOT, but that is just NOT my flavor.  [If I wanted to be a lesbian, I would find a really hot chick and stick (or no stick) with her.  Why would I need a man to be part of the equation?  But alas.... again, not the way I go.]

Him:  "That girl, LaSenza, has really big (DG - no, I'm not going to say it...).  Think about it. Be prepared soon...."

La la la, ya habibi.  La. And la la la some more.  La.  La.

WHAT THE PHUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????

Baaaah byyyyyye!

I have had funny reactions from my friends.  First call was to The Romanian who was very practical about it (although we both said that if we WERE ever to become lesbians, we would be each others' first choices).  Her approach was, "I'm so sorry, but you have to get rid of him.  You will never be alone with him because even if he is alone with you, he will be thinking about lesbians."  "He will never be happy.  He will never have a family or understand true love from or for a woman.  Just being you will never be enough for him."  
She's my best psychiatrist.  Thanks girlfriend (no homo).

Then, bien sur, I had to call LaSenza.  Her first reaction?  "Oh my God, it is my push-up bra!"  and added, "... but it's not even his birthday or a special occasion!  You don't just spring that on a girl.  Maybe after you've been together for years and your sex life has become boring, but this is just the beginning of your relationship!"  LOL.  "He'll never find what he's looking for because it comes in a packaged set."

Stealth was like, "... but you're not a lesbian...."  Yeah?  No duuh.  

Am I crushed?  Noooo.  I was in love with the idea of who I thought he was for like a week (call it obsession) like 2 weeks after we got together.  Then reality hit when he didn't bother picking up the phone or returning messages.  RUDE!  I am crushed, however, because I just spent 60KD on lingerie that is going to go to waste in my closet and it's frick'in gorgeous.  That sucks.  How do I feel:  Ick factor.  Seriously:  Isn't it bad enough that you can't find a decent man and then add insult to injury by having one who wants you, but only with another girl?

This is why I don't date rich guys.  There's nothing left to do, to see, to experience.  So they turn to perversions.  I'm not saying all of them, but the ones I have met - yup.  Let me just say it again:  I AM NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT.

Oh - and I would like to clarify just for the record:  He has known me for more than 10 years.  He has heard all my guy-stories.  He knows what I want in a relationshit because my friend Lawyer Dude has talked to me about it in length.  Nothing was ever mentioned about lingerie-clad girl pillow fights, girl-girl action:  nooooo.  Nothing.  What would make Happy SAY something like that? 

Do I have that face that says, "You can say anything to her and get away with it."??  Why do people tell me this stuff?

Ooooooo saaaaaaa, Desert Girl.  Go to your happy place (without Happy).  Shet - he's kinda ruined that word for me for a while....

By the by, in my perfect world, my ideal love triangle would be me, George Clooney, and his long-lost twin. (NOT me, a not-so-hot out-of-shape dude and another girl.)  But that's just me and I try to keep that kind of fantasizing on the down-low.

 - This has been a Desert Girl exclusive -

Exclusively on Desert Girl

This is a Desert Girl exclusive....

So is everything I write, right?   Some bloggers have taken to adding taglines like these.  I find it highly amusing.  So, I'm thinking of adding my own tagline on everything I write.  What are your thoughts?  Yes, that's right, I'm totally narcissistic and into marketing/branding myself.  Sometimes I even use a hot poker. ;)  Ha ha.

I really don't have too terribly much to write about today (so of course, I chose today to write about nothing).

I went to the desert last night with The Romanian to visit one of my oldest and dearest friends.  I'm going to call him "Defiance" because that's where he went to school in Ohio and spent the best years of his life (so he says - I'm not makin it up).  I met him  when I was engaged (to fiance number 3, I believe.  I'm like Barbie - always engaged, never married.  By CHOICE.) Defiance was the best friend of my fiance. (And then.... much, much later, there was one very romantic night spent at Evan's Farm in Mclean in front of their fireplace with a few bottles of red wine.... sigh.  He was wearing Creed....mmmmm)  He's one of those friends who I might not see for a day or for a decade; and we always catch right back up where we left off.  My friend, Kaz, and I are like that too.  These are life-long friendships.  So anyhoo, Defiance always has a brick fireplace in his camp (hey... maybe that is related to that Evan's Farm night.  Let me think it was!)   It's so cozy.  (This is kind of a crappy picture because  I had to edit out The Romanian, but it shows the fireplace).  He's an old-school Kuwaiti:  "our people".  Totally generous and hospitable.  I adore him. We had some grilled steaks and sat around and talked.  It was just the kind of evening that I needed.  The R and I both went home happy and thanking God that there are still some of "our people" left in the world.

If I'm not out in the desert every once in a while, I feel like a fish out of water (or should I say 'dhub out of sand'?).  I just feel content and grounded again - and I haven't been feeling very grounded lately.  I don't know what it is.  Do you ever go through those times?  Sometimes I just need to call my mom to feel better, but sometimes (like now) even that isn't doing it for me.  I'm just not feeling like myself (like on one of those Snickers commercials where the guy turns into an old lady until somebody hands him a candy bar).  Only, I haven't found my Snickers yet.  I'm going back to the States for Christmas, but even when I was there last time, I didn't feel grounded.  Maybe my stars are out of alignment.

It has been almost 2 weeks since I've seen Happy (since the night of the fireworks).  We talk on the phone. We SMS.  He lives 5 minutes from my house (no joke) and can't make the time to see me.  (Yes Expat, perhapsee he is just not that into me. I know...I've read the book.  I have a collection of self-help books that I rarely read.)   I give him an "out" because both of his parents are really sick and he's the only one taking care of them, and the house, and has a job where he has to travel a long distance every day - and it is very stressful.  It doesn't sound good for his parents, so I can imagine the guy is under a lot of stress. I understand Happy's need to spend as much time with his parents as he can; especially since he's the only one at home looking after them.   If I'm not a priority, however, regardless of the situtation, I can't allow him to be mine either.  It is what it is.

The weather is cooler now and all the male creatures have come out of hibernation, but I'm so out of sorts that I don't even want to muster the energy to call anyone.  I'm totally blah and unimpressed these days.  zzzzzz snoozefest. 

Plus, people in general are starting to piss me off.  I can't tell you how much I have done to help people lately and some of them (and if you are reading this - you totally know who you are.  Not you, Norway.) don't even bother to reply or thank me.  Do I NOT have a note on here regarding the sending of pink roses after I have done something to assist?  I should be charging a consulting fee.  Send flowers!  www.q8flowers.com, www.965flowers.com.  I'm nice, but I'm not stupid. 

On the flip side, Nathan, you were totally awesome and I appreciated your very kind offer.  Everybody go check out 511tactical.com!  Would you buy their gear if they opened a shop here?  Let me know.

Oh and by the by, I have elevated sugar levels (diabetes just a little) and I do not need candy or sweets, so flowers are just perfect.  Why do people always bring me chocolates?  Have they not met my ass?  Hey, (this is my attention deficit disorder kicking in again....), did you know that the Cheesecake Factory offers a cake made with Splenda?  Who woulda thought?

And on that note:  PUSHY PEOPLE WHO WANT ME TO PUBLISH THEIR ADS.... I don't HAVE to do anything.  My blog.  My rules.  I only review stuff I like (unlike some others who call around and beg for coupons, vouchers, etc.).  Don't ASSume that I'm going to run whatever you want me to; and especially when I get a demand e-mail rather than something that is kind. 

OOOOhhhhSaaaaaa, Desert Girl.  Calm.  Serenity.  Peace.  Center yourself.   (Ok Indian shaman spiritual guide inside my head.  I will try.)

What I need is a trip somewhere with a guy who totally adores me and showers me with attention (and pink roses) and affection because, after all, I am an attention whore.  (No stuuuupid, not a whore, but an ATTENTION whore.)  I crave attention.  I need affection.  If I'm not getting either, I get cranky (like now). 

(Wish I could have gone to Nepal, but the timing was bad.  Phuket in February?)

And hope is a powerful ting...

By the by, maybe you readers (if you are still reading after the tyrade above) can help me:  I was out with V this weekend at Marina Crescent at Caribou and sat next to a biker dude wearing all Harley gear.  I believe he had a red bike.  He was a big guy and even though his friends were speaking to him in Arabic, he answered (like me) in English.  I think he's Kuwaiti because he said something about his dad building some building downtown.  (Who can tell who is Kuwaiti these days?  There are even Kuwaitis with blue eyes!  OMG).  Anyhoo, I liked the guy.  We had a nice conversation and he had such a nice smile.  He asked us to join him, but we didn't.   He has a tatoo in script down his left arm.  I know I've seen him before, but I just can't figure out where.  He had a magazine in his hand (black with silver lettering - don't know which one that would be) and said that there was a photo of his bike in it.  Does anyone know mystery dude?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.  I'm thankful for a whole bunch of stuff (right now, it's Peet's eggnog flavored coffee that I brought from the States and that is keeping me awake beause I got home at 2 am).  I'm going to be with some military folk tomorrow; and then having a pot-luck T-day dinner at home on Friday.  My cleaner dude is out of the country, unfortunately.  (I love this country and the ability to hire help for a party.)  I wish I could hire him full-time to work in my house.  ....He's the best thing since Camaro re-did their body style.

I am STILL looking for a Camaro!!!  I want a 2010-11 SS, V8; black with manual transmission.  Like my daddy used to say, "Christmas is coming, honey." (and then it was going and I still didn't get it...)  That car is like a sexy black panther (and every good witch should have a black cat).  (I said WITCH, stuuuupid, not B.)

I miss my dad (God rest his soul).  Even after all this time, I still worry about what I should get him for Christmas or reach out for the phone to call him. 

I have almost completed all my Christmas shopping.  Woo hoo!  What the Hell did we do before the Internet?  I don't know. 

I got myself Invisilign braces for Christmas.  I priced them here in Kuwait - ooooh noooo.  It was 1/3 of the price in the States.  I guess I have watched one too many episode of "10 Years Younger" because lady always said that one of the most revealing aging attributes is bad teeth.  Not gonna happen to me. I've done all the prep work and now I'm getting the braces.  It is all part of my maintenance schedule:  Straight teeth, perky boobs, and maybe an eye lift.  This girl is not going down without a fight.  I don't need a Brazilian butt lift, however, because as it is, my butt can already be used as a flotation device incase of an over-water emergency.  It is a proven fact.  Unfortunately, no one wants to pay 350KD to have dinner with me.... yet.... ok ever....

OMG how this post has digressed!!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'alls!

This has been a Desert Girl exclusive.

Masquerade Ball - November 30

Indigo Shadows, creator and producer of "Drums of Africa" presents

INCOGNITO - Masquerade Ball

in Crowne Plaza

 on Friday, 30 November, starting at 7 pm.

Dinner, Entertainment, Prizes, Best Costume Contest.

Attire: Costumes or Black Tie

Tickets: 13 KD.

For tickets and more info please call 999.55403

or email lorie@indigoshadows-events.com or loredana.beverly@hotmail.com

360 Mall’s Sculpture Gets More Damage

Repost from Kuwaitiful Nov 14

The popular sculpture that was made by Dale Chihuly was all over the news when a kid broke one of the flowers. I recently passed by it again and it looks like kids are having too much fun with crocs. I spotted at least 7 completely broken flowers and many damaged. I’m guessing 360 Mall isn’t going to up the budget to fix this.

(End)

Seriously, are people raising monkeys?  This is ART.  I think 360 needs to upgrade their security and put cameras in place (and maybe large display screens so the a-holes will know they are being filmed).   Or maybe they just need to place glass barriers around the upper balcony floors to protect the sculptures.  OR, best of all, ban children under the age of 21 (yes, I said children under 21...).

My sister had a Dale Chihuly vase.  It was one of her favorite objects (until the dogs ran around the house one day and broke it on the floor).  Estimated value:  $15,000 - for a single vase.  I can't IMAGINE how much this sculpture cost.

The Fireworks

Yeah yeah yeah - I know this subject  has been done to death, but I shoulda got on the bandwagon and written about it when it happened from my perspective.   Unfortunately, other events that took place that night AFTER the fireworks kind of dampened my mood (thanks, Happy, bless your heart).

There are a million photos out there, so I won't bore you with more.  You can do a Google or YouTube search.

It was simply the most awe-inspiring display of man-made events that I have ever witnessed.  I've seen some pretty cool stuff, but this made me feel like I was a 5-year-old again, face-up on a blanket under the Washington Monument with fireworks above my head; giggling.  Only this time, the show lasted an hour and a half and was much more elaborate.

We watched the show from Tameer Complex, which is about as close as you can get to the Kuwait Towers.  It was Happy's place, so we had refreshments AND a bathroom (who could stand out there for all those hours without a bathroom?)  As Happy said before they even began, "I've been to the bathroom 3 times already.  What about those poor people down there?"

Those poor people were throngs of thousands sitting on the beach like blades of  grass with no room between them.  Many had been out since 3pm with their children watching the side-shows before the fireworks started at 8.  If they were smart, they would have brought their own lawn chairs (which I've noticed that many people are doing at crowd gatherings/demonstrations lately).

Before the fireworks started, I was surprised to see how many people were not on the balconies of the complex.  There were only a few occupied by revelers; and the parking lot was empty.  Why would you want to miss a million-dinar view? 

The Romanian and I were determined to get there to see these fireworks.  We missed the big show the last time and weren't about to miss this one.  I left my house in Rumaithiya at 5:00.  I arrived at Tameer (by the grace of God) at 6:45.  Only because I drove like a commando.  We took the Airport Road (50) downtown, got stuck in traffic on Sour Street and then again on Estiqlal (I think) before discovering that 2nd Ring Road was cut off.  We decided to take a chance and cut through Dasma.  I don't know the area, so we winged it and OMG there was an exit open onto Fahaheel Expressway (which was backed up all the way down to Egaila).  I took it into B'naid Al Gar, went down a 1-way street behind Al Salam Hospital; went over several construction lots, and then sped around a police barricade at the Safir.  The only stopping point was a mentally-challenged person in the middle of the street right in front of Tameer who didn't know how to put his car into reverse and get out of the way.  I offered to do it for him.  Bada BING.

The only time The Romanian puts her seatbelt on (which makes me CRRRRRAZY by the way because I think it's stooopid not to) is when I start driving commando.  She is also the only one of my friends/family who isn't frightened by commando-style driving.  God love her.

Having spent the night before with Happy, I thought my reception would have been warmer, but nooooo.  (That's a whole nother story and not worth getting into).  Whatever.  We were introduced to a new friend of Lawyer Dudes as Happy's "Very good friends."  Huh?  Again, whatever. 

Back to the story....

There was a line of maybe hundreds if not thousands of private boats in the far distance that was kept back by police boats (you could tell because the police boats were set in a line/distance between).  I imagined the view from the water must have been spectacular.  They were a good distance back - probably to avoid falling debris from the fireworks. 

Before the fireworks started, the crowds were cheering and clapping. Music was playing from the Officer's Club across the street.  People walking by were happy.  As soon as the lights went out (as the performance was about to begin), you could feel the anticipation in the air.  It was erily quiet.  Then, the music and light show began just before the fireworks.  Light podiums were set at distances apart in the water.  Lasers, lights, and fireworks were set off from the podiums. 

Talk about the age of technology!  All you could see from every corner were people holding up their smart phones and filming. 

Sidebar:  The Politics of the Fireworks
People have asked me why Kuwait would hold such an eleaborate and expensive display during a time of seemingly political turmoil.  It was a message that Kuwait is unified.  It was also a message to those opposed to freedoms (like entertainment, enjoyment, MUSIC, happiness) that the Government (and most of the time when people refer to the "government" it means the ruling family)  is no longer tolerant of (and I love that I can use the expression in this context) the foreign influence of extremism. Kuwait has always been liberal.  Extremists have been creeping into this society since the end of the Gulf War (90/91) and influencing everything from school segregation to the "decency law" and death penalty for blasphemy (to the underground parties that just about every liberal in Kuwait has to attend because you can't dance or drink in public).  Take note:  No one has breached the subject of the Moslem Brotherhood (Khwan al Muslemeen) in Kuwait until very recently, but they have been a pervasive force here for years in many aspects of business and government. (Have a long beard; win a contract.)   Had there been a conservative parliament before the fireworks, they would have shot it down or it would have been tied up in committees talking about forming more committees.  I think the Government has had enough. This country is NOT Saudi Arabia. They didn't annex Kuwait.  It isn't for sale.  It is Kuwait with its own unique culture and traditions.  It is time to bring back the real Kuwait.   I am neutral to all parties and factions of this country (except I don't agree with extremists or ultra-conservatives), but enough is enough. Bedu, Hather, Shiite, Sunni:  UNIFY.  Stop talking trash about each other and start talking about how all can help change for the better. Personally, I'm tired of hearing, "(those people) are to blame." Everybody is to blame.  This show of force/unity should be a step in the right direction.  On a side note:  I am opposed to the cost of the display, but I do understand the political message it sent.

I loved the fireworks.  I feel blessed that I was there at the right time, in the right place to see them and to feel a part of something that I hope will give the people of Kuwait hope for progress.

Deceptively Happy

I debated about posting this because it's kind of whiny-girl, but WTF.

--

I have an extreeeeeeeeeeeeemely intelligent friend, Lawyer Dude, who is very well known in Kuwait (although his politics piss a lot of people off and I might just be one of them). He blows up Twatter(TM)  all the time.  He's the guy with the exclamation marks after everything!!!!  The Romanian and I have known him for years.  He runs in elite crowds with beautiful people.  He's not a snob (which is part of the reason why I love him so much).  He doesn't dress designer to try to impress others; he is who he is and he's secure about it.   He's a negotiator and tells it like it is.

He's how I met Happy.  Happy is one of his inner circle and closest friends.   They get together once a week and we've been going there on and off for the past 15 years.  Happy has always been there.  So, we know each other pretty dern good.

Very powerful/wealthy people aren't usually my friends.  Not because they're not nice or because I don't like them, but they have a different mindset.  My expectations/perceptions of "normal" don't usually correlate to theirs.  (There are exceptions of course.)  I have to be cautious around LD and his crowd not to be judgemental (guestlist has been known to include various forms of "talent" with a particular genre of "skillsets");  and further cautious not to feel like I/we are there for entertainment value and not purely for friendship (which can happen in those crowds,  as a lot of very wealthy people are also a lot of very bored people).

Because he is so intelligent, LD is also very insightful and perceptive; sometimes to the point of being scary - like going to a fortune teller who immediately knows intimate details about your life.   He KNOWS me (whereas I probably don't know 1/10th of the person he is).  He just gets me and is usually pretty verbal about it.  I like it.  He fascinates me.

I think he has known for many years that Happy and I would be suitable for each other.  He just knew and he never pushed until we "saw" each other.  And that's what happened; all these years later.  We found each other and we were there all the time.  I felt deceptively secure with Happy - especially since he has been a friend (if not distant friend) for so long.

Now, LD is perceptive enough to know what type of person I am and what my requirements are (which, compared to the group that they run with,  are very small in comparison).  What I do require is attention:  Pick up the phone when I call.  Send me messages to let me know you are thinking about me.  Show up when you say you will.  Unfortunately, Happy is scoring very low on all these points and it makes me sad (possibly because I am NOT a patient person).  He's a keeper.  I know it.  I am 100% convinced that this guy has the potential to be "him".   However, I'm a girl who believes in "how it is in the beginning will determine how it is in the end."  Show me.  It should be so easy.  And as an impatient person, my little voice keeps screeeeeaming in my ear, "Why wait?  Why wait?  Why wait?"

So, LD caught onto this when we were all together. (I got that, "I understand everything" look.)  He's always said that he could tell exactly what I was thinking by just looking into my eyes.  I admit it;  I don't have a poker face.  What you see is what you get.  I'm hoping that he'll be able to talk to Happy (because I've tried several times now) about it and maybe I'll get happy.  Upon preponderance of the evidence, I am left to debate whether the training curve and amount of patience I must invest will bring about a beneficial outcome; or if I should just take it at face value as a loose friendship and go about my own business.  I'm willing to pay LD's full hourly rate if he's willing to step in and arbitrate.

---

LD did step in and arbitrate.  He's a friend, so he didn't charge.

So since I first posted this, there have been developments.  Our relationship got a little stronger; mostly because Happy started showing long-term and definitive interest: "Will you help me re-decorate the apartment?  You pick out the fabrics.." "Let's go see your family at Christmas..." and the best of course which I guess they believe is the panty-dropper, "I think you are the one I have been waiting for..."  This in addition to offering to bring me groceries.  Good hachi, baby.  

But alas, I believe that the guy was just not into me after all.  Its too bad because he had a lot of good qualities that I admire. Sigh.  Unfortunately, he has the attention span of a gnat and probably (don't know but I'm just guessing by the talent) a few seedy vices that I don't even want to think about (refer to 4th paragraph).  Et.... I have a real problem with people who can't call.  If you're interested; prove it. Call me to make sure I got home safely.  Call me to say what's up.  Send me a message. I can see when you're online, dumbass.  And - OhMaGod - send flowers!  That would be amaaaazing.  (And probably what helped me stay with The Man for so long. Thanks baby.  I still love that you did that.  There were some things that you did for me that I'll never forget. Sometimes when things don't go well, I think of you.   I digress....)    If you F up, do something to show you're sorry.  Am I too much of an attention whore?  Are those things too much to ask?

Did I shave my legs for this??  

He was doing great on the communication until we got close; then it all became quiet.  Talk!  Got a text message from him saying our relationship is "purely friendship".  I got your friendship right here:  If you can't treat me right in a relationship, you don't deserve to be my friend.

(Expat, you called this one, girl.)  The Romanian is my BS barometer and she had him figured for a keeper.  Time for a calibration?

You so handsome!

This is why I'm staying away from online dating now....  Why would anyone think that a woman would want to write to them?

Man Sues Parents for KD 1 Million

Man Sues Parents for KD 1 Million

Arab Times, Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A court has set November 8, 2012, to look into the lawsuit which has been filed by a 35 year old Kuwaiti man, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily.

The Kuwaiti is demanding KD 1 million from his parents saying they are responsible for his sufferings and deprivation.

Case papers indicate the parents divorced two months after giving birth to the plantiff and each went their way and also got married.  The mother left the baby in the are of a Kuwaiti family with no birth certificates.  However, the baby grew up and is now 30 and with the help of DNA tests has managed to get the citizenship.

-          End –

The writing sucks – as usual. 

OMG can you imagine just dumping your kid on someone else to raise without any documents or anything?  WTF?! And WTF were the adoptive parents thinking?  I hope dude gets his money.  You don’t just dump a kid.  Ok, if you can’t care for him/her, at least do the right thing by him/her.  Both biological parents are to blame.

At least at the Kuwaiti orphanage, he would have had a chance of nationality and wouldn’t have had to research who his parents where (and why they dumped him).

Honey, where's your chabka?

I've had a lot of inquiries from foreign ladies recently married to Kuwaitis - or about to be married.  Sometimes it isn't an inquiry even, but when we get down to discussing things, it comes out that they are missing a few things; or that perhaps hubby has "forgotten" to mention a few things of importance that perhaps he should have.   Girlfraynd, get edumacated!  (and Kuwaiti girlfriends - if anything I am saying below is incorrect, please feel free to jump in.)

“… but I looooooove him….”  Okey dokey.  What about your future?  We foreign chicks are not the blue-light special and shouldn't come at a discount, but unfortunately, that's the way it works a lot of times:  Know your rights; culturally and legally.  So, a weee bit of Desert Girl condescending advice....

In the States, for example, when you get married, customarily dude buys you an engagement rock and a wedding band; and your daddy pays for the wedding.  Not here. Women in Kuwait (and you don’t have to be Kuwaiti)  get "chabka" when they get married.    Chabka is a gold set (necklace, bracelet, ring, earrings).  Although you are foreign, the family should give you gold otherwise they look cheap in front of their friends/neighbors. It is considered "ayeb".  Women keep gold as a safety net and often sell it/trade it.  (Chabka is not one piece of gold either.  If you want to know what chabka looks like - go down to any gold souq in Kuwait and ask them to see a set.  Shock and awe, baybeee.)   And it is the Kuwaiti man's responsibility to pay for the wedding. Bam.

Have a Kuwaiti wedding reception, even if it's a small one.  Think bigtime gifts for your new home!  Doooo IT.  Its payback for all the time your guy and his family have given bigtime gifts to their relatives and close friends at their weddings.

Marriage contract:  What you put into your Kuwaiti marriage contract as an end-of-marriage amount is all that you get for alimony.  You can't sue him for alimony - only child support.  So, if they talked you into signing something that you didn't understand when you signed your marriage contract, you may have just cheated yourself out of a nest egg.  Don’t sign anything that you don’t understand.

Dowry is written into the marriage contract.  Many women choose not to put a lot down at the front end of the marriage contract, but write in a large amount at end-of-marriage so that 1) dude can't just divorce you on a whim and then not have to pay out (making it "cheaper to keep her") and 2) the woman will be financially secure if he does divorce you.  [I have one Kuwaiti friend who wrote in a million dinars for end-of-marriage to prove to his new bride how strong his love (lust, methinks)  was.  He can never leave her.  He's soooo screwed.]

If you are getting married here in Kuwait, do NOT kiss when it is announced you are married at the courthouse.  Public display of affection is illegal and the judge will have no other choice than to have you both arrested (especially since there are appointed witnesses).  Witnesses:  You can bring your own if you want.

Know your rights before you have children.  There is a difference between Shiite and Sunni courts in terms of child custody.  Who gets the kids?  What happens?   Learn about family law here and what could potentially happen.

Kuwaiti men get more money monthly when they get married from the government (usually something like 150kd) and 50kd/mo for each child up to 5 children.

If your husband works in a private (non-government)  company, his salary is partially matched by the government. 

By law, a husband must provide food for the house, rent, and be able to support his wife and children.  Any money the wife makes during the marriage is HERS and he can't touch it. 

Apply early for Kuwaiti nationality.  Your husband should start this when you get married.  Why do you want it?  Because if you get it, the government will give you (as a couple) a house (you've got to be on a waiting list).   1/2 of it becomes yours.  You get benefits and money from the government.  If you ever get divorced as a Kuwaiti woman, the government pays for (part of?) your housing.  You also get medical care.  Major benefits.  You want it - trust me.

Don't ever let your husband or his family make you think that you HAVE to wear hejab.  It is your choice.  It is ONLY your choice; between you and God.

When a woman has a serious fight with her husband here, she returns to her family and usually the families sort it out.  As a foreign woman in Kuwait, you don't have that resource, so your circle of women friends is REALLY important as a support system.  You will get no assistance from the embassy.  It isn't their mission.  They'll only refer you to a lawyer on their list.  There are no women’s shelters in Kuwait.  Who ya gonna call?

Call me a cynic,  but these are the things that you have to know.  In the mothahland, you know what happens.  Do you know what might happen here?   I believe in love and all that, but I'm a realist and  girls should know the skinny.  Have a back-up plan.  Love is great, but so is food and shelter.

Disclaimer:  Guys:  please don't get mad at me.  Marriage is a beginning of a life together.  Do you really want to begin it with dishonesty? 

Khaleeji Family

What?  No maid or driver? 

And who has trees??

The Khaleeji Family, as seen in BHS Salmiya. 

Oktoberfest - Desert Girl Style

This has been such a lovely month.  Je suis content.  Yup.  (Mashallah)

I was away for a few weeks at the Association of the US Army's convention in DC.  Why the Hell hasn't anyone invented a transporter like on Star Trek?  Why can't I just beam over to DC? 

I travelled with eye problems and I returned with eye problems. This has been going on for a long time and it is a pain in my ... well, in my eyes.  It huwwwwts.  I don't like it.  Been back to the doctor and it is dry eye brought on by whatever virus I had at the end of September/early October.  I hate not being able to wear make-up.  People don't even recognize me.  It's pathetic.  The doctor says (supposedly) 2 more weeks of this.  Jeezy peezy.  I tried my damndest to cure it with alcohol/intoxication therapy, but even that didn't work.  [Ironically, although the title of this is "Oktoberfest" - I don't drink beer.  Never have.  Can't stand the taste of it (since the 6th grade when I chugged one and threw up all over the playground at The Paine School).]

So anyways, DC is always gorgeous at this time of the year.  All the leaves were changing color and for some reason, this year must have been a bumper crop of pumpkins;  they were huge and they were everywhere.  So pretty. 

By the way, happy Halloween.  I love this holiday.

The day that I arrived, my sister and nephew and I went to the annual Midieval festival.  Or should I say, Festival of Weird-O's.  Holy snap!  They take this thing seriously.  My sister says that they are either there to participate or to make fun of.  We were the later.  The whole place is drunk.  Then, they start talking to each other about their weird costumes; or they go to the jousting tournaments and shout as loud as they can.  Freaky.  It made me very nervous. My nephew loved it.  He brought his 3' wooden sword.  Why?  I have no idea.  He dragged that thing around all day and ate a seriously greezy turkey leg and was completely content.  Whyyyy?

I got to meet the new addition to our family:  Harley.  He's gorgeous and I adore him already.  He has the most unnaturally soft fur that I've ever seen on a dog.  And he has a lot of the same character traits that Rascal, who died recently, did. 

Stella arrived a few days after me.  My sister took us to her beach house in Ocean City and again - the weather was amazing.  It was so pretty there.  We ate, we drank, we giggled.    We went to eat crabs one night and the next day for lunch we had lobster (rolls and salad) and of course more drinks.  We visited the sea and walked in the surf.  What a happy time. It was the best time I can remember for a long time.  When you look back at your life sometimes you have a string of days that stick out in your memory and that was one.

I drove down into rural Virginia one day with my mother; just to go to a roadside stand that my sister had taken her to a few weeks before.  We bought some apples and drove back.  The countryside was full of green pastures with red and brownish trees along the sides.  There are a lot of deer right now in the area and (I hate this) it is deer hunting season.  I almost hit one, one night; a big buck that darted in front of the car.  I'm always on the look out for them so I had plenty of time to stop.  Its always kinda magical to see them boppin around.

I've become so accustomed to going to the States that I try to fill the days as much as possible.  Sometimes I look back and find it hard to believe that I did so much in a few weeks' time.  (And how many pairs of shoes I could buy!!!  (OMG!  www.dsw.com - shooooooes!  Booooooots!)

I got back just before Sandy hit.  I'm glad for that.  My sister was worried about her house and about their boat docked in front.  We've heard from her neighbors that both are fine.

So I got back to Kuwait ....  Stealth and The Romanian picked me up from the airport.  They so sweet.  I went home and slept and slept.

And the next day....

Happy.  (I'm going to call him "Happy" after his nickname on an app.)
I've seen my lawyer/friend's best friend, Happy, many times over the years.  He's a nice guy, but never really thought about him (never "saw" him even though he was right in front of me the whole time) until just now when I got back and he made me notice him.  When I say that I need a man to impress me, I mean it.  I'm impressed.  How did he do it?  He was completely up-front and direct with me immediately. He made me a priority.   He told me how he felt about me and asked the same of me.  He told me what he wanted a future together to be like.  It was that simple.  He's even doing that one thing that is so important to me:  He likes my dog and the feeling is mutual.  If you don't pass my dog test, you don't get to stick around very long.  (I've been asked before by stupid people, "If you had to choose between me and your dog, who would you choose?"  Ya know, people, I don't even need to hear the end of that sentence to answer, 'My dog.' It's a no-brainer.) 

Disclaimer:   If a guy doesn't call me or SMS while I'm away from him; he doesn't impress me.  If he doesn't call immediately when I return; he doesn't impress me.  Show up at the airport to greet me;  that impresses me.  If he is tentative about plans or doesn't see an immediate need to see me:  he doesn't impress me.  (Booty calling does NOT impress me.)  Wishy-washy, namby-pamby does NOT impress me. Grow some cojones, be direct, be a man.  Impress.  End of disclaimer.
Ironically, Happy is the cousin of the man who got me to Kuwait for work (another lawyer).  He  and his cousin don't get along well at all because of the difference in their political and religious views.  We have that in common!  [I was recruited by the Khwan al Muslemeen and I never fit in with their niche (so to speak).  I am grateful - as I should always be - because they got me to Kuwait.  But that's another story that I don't know if I will/should write about.]  Happy is single (never married - no baggage), he's in my age group, he's financially solvent, he travels, he's got a great sense of humor, and the initial signs are all good.  Mashallah.  The Romanian is my Romance Barometer. She always knows who is going to be good for me.  She told me a long time ago to take a better look at Happy, but I didn't pay attention.  I am now.

Bu Merdas came around about a month before I left and wanted to get back together again - but on his idiotic terms (seriously - too idiotic to even write down) and with his recurring theme of lack-of-communication.  Oh.My.God.  Would you grow up and learn how to just TALK to me???  RRRRR!  He called The Romanian while I was away and talked to her at length about me and our relationshit.  Why is it so difficult just to talk to the person you are in the relationshit with?   Why you gotta go talk to my best friend?  Je ne get it pas.  Are we in high school?  Now he's sending me mushy romantic photos over the internet.  Sigh.  That aint gonna do it for me, buddy.  It seems that he only wants me when I move on and don't want him anymore.

All women want is to feel secure.  That's it.  Secure.  For the most part, we don't need a whole bunch of stuff (although there are a lot of gold-diggers and high-maintenance biotches who do).  Not me.  I just want someone to tell me how he feels about me, means it, and shows me.  What is the big deal?

I've known Bu Merdas for 10 years.  A lot of truly good (dare I even say 'exceptional'?) could have happened in that 10 years, but I've never felt secure with him.  He's never allowed me to.  Not once. Never let me in.  That little voice in the back of my head talked to me.   Happy makes me feel infinitely more secure already.  I love direct.  He's direct.  Why can't more men just be direct? Why the insecurity and secrecy?

The Man would never talk to me.  That used to drive me crazy.  He might talk to me later - sometimes much later - when it was pointless.  Who knows what might have happened had he just been direct and talked to me?  How can you be secure when you don't have all the information?

No regrets wallah.  Everything happens for a reason and it is all good.

Right before I left, I met a new friend by chance (in kindof a strange way) who is a breast cancer survivor.  Her arthritis (brought on by chemo) was bothering her.  I talked to her yesterday and she says the cancer is back.  She said that she was sorry to tell me that - since we were new friends and I don't need the drama.  Sometimes people are sent your way to make you look at your surroundings differently.  Or perhaps you can help them in a way when they (or you) need a friend. God doesn't make mistakes.

So anyhoo, is this going to be a great winter or what?  Wow!  The rain and the thunder/lightening storm when I arrived from DC I took as a sign of good things to come.  Mashallah, I have THE most amazing group of friends I could ever wish for and everything is looking good in my world.  I'm wishing the same for all the people I know (real and virtual).