Serseree in
the local dialect means a womanizer (macdaddy, player, etc.). I have a friend who is one and he’s such a
pig that it has actually influenced me to write something on the subject.
Here in Kuwait, “playing the
field” is, as a competitive sport, an art form.
Both genders do it; married or not.
Both genders complain that “there is no one good out there.” I wonder if they would say that if they
weren’t out there playing?
“Single” in Kuwait does not
necessarily mean “single” as we know it in the Western world. It may just mean that the married person does
not have a girlfriend or boyfriend at the moment. Wait – it’ll change.
My serseree friend is dating more
women than I can count. (He tells me the
names, but I just can't remember.) He lies to all. About everything. He meets women everywhere – even doing
the (low-class) phone number exchange in the car. He and his friend put on national dress
(which they normally never wear because they’re either in shorts or jeans);
borrow different high-end cars and drive around giving women their phone
numbers. As he says, “You can only make
1 round on the Gulf Road wearing qutara and aghal because it is feshla
(a shame). You get 6 or 7 numbers and go
to another street.”
[Sidenote: Personally, I’m sick of seeing Kuwaiti men in
western attire. You can’t tell who is
who anymore. I loved the days when they
all wore national dress. But it seems
like there are less and less of those guys anymore; unless they’ve just come
from a wedding or a funeral – or maybe have had some work at a ministry. Maybe other women out there feel the same way
I do – which is why guys like these can get so many phone numbers wearing national
dress and driving hot cars.]
Dude confides in me because he
was formerly dating one of my friends (who thought he was being faithful to
her) and now I am that girl that he can tell anything to. Yes I’m judgemental. Yes I will throw it back at him and tell him
how I feel about it. (Okay, I’m not
opposed to punching him when he says something truly repulsive - and Serseree Boy has
the bruises to attest to it.) But still,
he feels that he can tell me anything.
I’m semi-okay with that. It is
giving me a unique perspective into the mind of a player. Do I tell my girlfriend? Hell to tha yes; but not everything. I don’t want to hurt her – she’s been through
enough. I’ve told her maybe 1/3 of what
he’s told me. But it is still shocking. I feel bad because I betrayed her by not telling her how much time I've been spending with him. (I have to admit, the morbid curiosity has become a short-term obsession/fascination.) I’m sure that it must hurt
even to know that he is being so blatantly honest with me when he couldn’t have
been with her. But that’s because he
knows he will never have a relationship with me. He’s not trying to get one over on me because
I just don’t care.
Sometimes he calls me and wants
me to talk to them on the phone. "Here, Desert Girl, talk to my
girlfriend." (Whyyyyy? Am I some kind of
reassurance/confidence instiller that he can be trusted because he has a female
friend?) I have to raise my voice to match their mini-mouse
squeeky/supposedly sexy talk. I imitate them and they don't even seem to
get it. Bimbos.
If you saw Serseree Boy, you
would think that he’s lying about all the women. Maybe he’s not the best looking guy, but he’s
incredibly charming and immediately makes you feel special. He knows all the right things to say and
makes the rounds to ensure that he’s spending enough time with each female
friend (he’s 41 and has a decent retirement income. He’s also from old money,
so that’s he’s got plenty of free time and money isn’t a worry.) And no, this isn’t just a mid-life crisis for
him; it is a long-term lifestyle: Wake up, shower, drink some more, visit
women and/or search for more, party, sleep.
Oh, and let me tell you about the places he has. He had a camp this year. Divided his time between ladies on alternating days. He has a farm in Kabd. He has a yacht for the summer (supposedly reserved for only one woman - the mother of his illegitimate child). He has a family chalet with a pool. And he is soon to get an apartment. His "real" residence is at home with his mommy, but he is okay with sneaking different women downstairs to have sex.
I hope that I have never been in
love with someone like this (but my type would have a job), but alas, I
probably have; because they are so sneaky and conniving that you (as an honest
person) would most likely never be able to tell. Honest people don’t think like serserees – or
so I would like to believe. Maybe I’m
naive.
He lies constantly. Even when he
doesn't have to. It is like training for
the next lie. He tells different women
different stories; often in conversations in front of me. He laughs about it, but at the same time,
complains that they “don’t give him space,” and take up too much of his
time. I wonder then, why he can’t just
be honest and tell them that he’s playing the field and dating other
people? Why is the honesty part so
difficult? If I lie, for example, I am
always found out because I can never remember my lies and have to confess
later. There is only so much you can
deny.
So why is Serseree Boy telling me
all of this? I dunno, really. I guess because I listen. (I can also glean any intel I want by calling him at 3:30 am and asking him because he's always drunk and it is like he's got truth serum in his blood.) He has told me that he can tell me anything and be relaxed around me because he isn't worried about what lie he has told me. He doesn't have to worry that he will say or do the wrong thing. Because we are platonic (defined in the Urban
Dictionary as, "To love someone in an 'I don't want to do you' kind of
way"). In my different groups of
friends, I am always “one of the guys” (and it isn't because there is a "I
don't want to do you" factor, but I hope I have morals/ethics/standards). Most of them feel free to be themselves in
front of me. Maybe I have one of those
faces that says that I’m empathetic to people.
In this case, I’m not empathetic, just curious.
Serseree Boy has told me all
about his adventures; even how his marriage ended when his wife found pictures
of himself and his girlfriend on a European vacation in Germany and
France. (Oh, and girlfriend even went to
see him at his house while the wife was upstairs!) Serseree is still seeing the
girlfriend (she has been married since they met). His X-wife is busy filing court cases. I personally think that he
thrives on drama. I asked him why he
even got married to begin with. “To have
children.” Wow. Is that all that it comes down to? What kind of father does that make him? Why couldn’t he marry a woman who he could be
honest with? As he says, he would never
“allow” his wife to do the same things he does.
Maybe she would demand her rights too if he told her the truth.
Which brings me to another
point: What’s good for the goose is good
for the gander. We, as women, have a 6th
sense. In most cases, we can determine
when a man is cheating – even if we don’t want to face up to it. If a wife knows/suspects, she’s more likely
to be cheating on her husband (and many of the married women I’ve known here –
“religious” or not – have had long-term, multi-year relationships with their
boyfriends). It is not uncommon.
So everybody is cheating on
everybody. Is anybody practicing safe
sex? Serseree Boy has a child with a
girlfriend who is married to someone else.
Her husband doesn’t know that he’s not the father. Serseree is happy about it. “I love my other son...” How many cases like this are there in Kuwait? And that brings up the subject of STDs and
AIDS. In his case, he says, “I know the
women I’m with are clean. I can tell.” How?
Does he have portable blood testing equipment? HIV can stay dormant in the blood stream for
5 years. How does he know? How does anybody know? And you aren’t going to find accurate
statistics in this part of the world because supposedly, no one is having
extra-marital sex.
Yup, it is all very Jerry
Springer, but without the DNA testing.
I have met more and more men (and
women) who don’t want to get married here.
Or – if they do, just want to get married to have children and then get
divorced. If we were in a Western
country, I think there would be a lot of unmarried mothers – just because they
could do it legally. People don’t want
to be tied down anymore.
I wonder how long Serseree Boy
can maintain the facade: At 41, he may be headed to
become a low-rent Hugh Heffner with a grotto and some bunnies. To me, that is just sad because you never know
true love (although he throws the word around like it’s chicken feed at a Naif
farm). He may end up as one of those
70-somethings you see hanging out all night at the male-only coffee shops,
talkin trash with their other toothless friends about the good old days when
their junk used to work. (Toothless -
isn’t that they can’t afford the dental care.
It is because they are afraid.) Or, lamenting the fact that their kids
don’t like them very much because they never were there when they were growing
up (or were bad to their mothers). Or hosting parties for
20-something girls in skin-tight mini-dresses that barely cover their hoo-hoo.
He’ll be the fat old weird guy who owns the house where the bunnies are
partying. How many bunnies would go to
visit him in the hospital if he ever got sick?
Can he call a bunny if he needs help?
Je think not.
These are just my
observations. Isn’t there more to life?
Am I being too judgemental? He seems perfectly happy. Maybe it is just a life choice that I shouldn't be judging. Dunno.
