My Lunch with the Lady Mayoress of London, Lady Lin Luder

I had a fabulous lunch on Sunday with the Lady Mayoress of London, Lady Lin Luder, and several influential women from the Kuwait community (Brits and Kuwaitis). It was held at Ricardo. I was the only American and it was quite an honor. I knew several of the ladies, but hadn’t seen them for quite a while, so it was great to catch up. (No, she didn't wear this at the lunch. I would have died of embarrassment for not being adequately dressed.)

I had to ask if I needed to take a course in how to curtsy prior to the day. I didn’t – I don’t know if I could have dealt with it – too much formality for me. I’m certain I would have done it wrong.

I didn't have to learn Briddish either! I have mastered that from being around friend from the UK (Scotland doesn't count!) long enough to understand them. (Ok, that is just a shout-out to all my American friends!)

Ignorant American

First of all, when my friend at the British Embassy (who shall remain nick-nameless for her own sake!) called me and told me about the Lady’s visit, I thought the woman’s name was “Mariss” – a name that I like. I thought it was pretty. But then, I immediately got off the phone and googled her (don’t laugh – I google everyone). I hate not being prepared.

But alas..... I am stupid. I should have brought my digital recorder. I wish I could remember everything that Lady Luder told us at the lunch. It was fascinating. I honestly didn’t want the lunch to end; I had such a great time.

Interesting factoids

Lord Mayor of London (from LINK): “During his year of office he travels the world as an ambassador for the business City, promoting it as the world's leading international financial centre and boosting the profile of British business at home and abroad. The Lord Mayor is well placed to establish valuable contacts both at diplomatic and top boardroom level. These contacts open up business opportunities in the City and help maintain London's position as the world's leading international financial centre.”

It takes 15 years to become Lord Mayor of London and there is extensive training involved.
You don’t have to be a male, but you retain the title of “Lord Mayor”.
A person must first be an Alderman to become Lord Mayor and are typically either lawyers or accountants.Lord Mayor of London is an elected position.
The role lasts for 1 year
Lord Mayor is not a salaried position.
During the 1 year tenure, the Lord and Lady (which would be hard to figure out if the Lord was a woman) live at the Mansion House.

The Lord and Lady are both asked to select charities
During their tenure they have no time for family events – too busy and are expected to be on duty throughout the year. Lady Luder said that she only has a few minutes once a week to check on her home, but once she’s there, she feels content as it is hers.
There has been a Lord Mayor of London ever since 1189.
The Lord Mayor’s Show is a procession (parade) held in November each year and has been the same journey for almost 800 years. I wanna goooo!
Get this – folks from our own US Civil War (although a Confederate) were invited to dine with the Mayor of London (an abolitionist). That’s deep. And now, we have a black president.

Lady Luder was delightful. I didn’t know what to expect but she was so approachable and down-to-Earth. She is obviously a diplomat, but I had a feeling that under her exterior, she is my kind of people. From one of the more colorful stories on Google, I would definitely say she is!

We asked Lady Luder what the best part was of being Lady Mayoress of London. She said, “Getting to see my husband in the golden cage.” I (and some of the other ladies from the giggles) believed that to mean the golden cage of marriage. Noooo…. The ceremonial golden cage of the Lord Mayors Show. Lady Luder said it is enormous and drawn by 8 horses.

Lin Luder formerly worked in IT at a New York law firm. She said that she and her husband will probably take 2 months off when the new Lord Mayor of London is sworn in (I don’t know if that is the appropriate term) and then go back to work.

Lord and Lady Luder were invited to attend a dinner with His Highness The Amir in the evening. What a wonderful job – even if it is tiring.

I continue to thank God for blessing me with the types of adventures He does; and for the types of interesting people I get to meet in my life.

A special word of thanks to my friend at the British Embassy (you know who you are) for inviting me. I wish there were many more like you in Kuwait! You are so positive and just a true pleasure to be around.

Victoria's Secret Coming to UAE

Oh… My…. God…… Victoria’s Secret is finally coming to the region. Wooooo hooooooooo! First stop is Dubai... c'moooon Kuwait!

You go, Mr. Mohammed Al-Shaya. You THA MAN!!!!

You know – just the other day, a visitor to Kuwait asked me what is the one thing that you would like to have in Kuwait that you don’t. That is a tuff question. Of course, my family, greenery, and alcohol (in that order). But to tell you the truth, we have almost all the material things – and more – that I want. I would love Target to come here, but that is just wishful thinking. I thought VS was a dream also.

I wonder how tha fuuuu they are going to market the store. Monster.com has a job opening for marketing manager in UAE. I think if I got the job (not that I would apply), I would be fired. That’s a difficult call. Their displays have shocked even open-minded folk in the US. I wonder how they are going to get around it.

GCC women always shop at Vicky's in the US. It is about time someone capitalized on the market.

I don't even like Dubai (sorry, but I don't), but I would be willing to go there for Victoria's Secret.

The Pottery Barn is Coming to Kuwait!!!

Yippeeee! I love the Pottery Barn. I hope they really have the same merchandise that they do in the US.


A fantastic new brand is to join the Alshaya portfolio in 2010. We are recruiting now for Pottery Barn & Pottery Barn Kids.Doors open in UAE (March 2010) and Kuwait (May 2010).


Al-Shaya is taking over the world!

Degradation of Women's Summits in the Gulf

A Business Women's Summit (in one form or another) is held annually in the UAE. Annually, the Khaleej Times creates degrading stories or headlines related to the event; comparing the summit(s) to a recipe swap. As a professional business woman, this totally pisses me off.

Why is it that any time a group of women gather in the GCC, it is automatically assumed that it is a recipe swap or a children's event?

Please feel free to pass along to other women working (or not) in the Gulf who would not like to be objectified in this manner. We can only change perceptions by voicing our objections to this type of thing. Write to the author and/or Khaleej Times!

I can imagine that the women mentioned in the story might be a little angry also.

Here is the full story:

Women Leaders Share their Recipe for Success
Ahmed Shabaan 26 October 2009
Khaleej Times

DUBAI — More than 300 women leaders from the political and business fields from all over the world are participating in the first Women in Leadership (WIL) forum, which commenced in Dubai on Sunday.

The three-day event is being held under the patronage of Princess Haya Bint Al Hussein, Wife of His Highness Shaikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai.

The forum’s participants will share their experiences in leadership and strategies to deal with challenges during the session titled ‘Bridging the Gap’. They will attempt to address the misconception that the world has about women in the Middle East and discuss how cultural differences affected their daily business tasks.

Raja Easa Al Gurg, President, Dubai Business Women Council, said women across the UAE have taken on pivotal roles in the economic progress and sustainable development of the country, as has been witnessed in other sectors across various levels.

“Emirati women have emerged in high positions in the economy, politics and in various specialisations and in the process, have enhanced their own capacities, highlighted their own capabilities, refined their skills and worked hard to achieve their dreams of serving their homeland,” Al Gurg said.

Among the leading female personalities honoured on Sunday night have been trusted guides, influential mentors and strategic executives and have played a pivotal role in their companies’ success, adding to a career of extraordinary performance and 
exceptional results.
Dr Ayesha Mohammed Abdullah, CEO, Dubai Healthcare City, was named as the Leading Woman CEO.

Since her association with Dubai Healthcare City in 2004, Dr Ayesha Abdullah has emerged as a force to be reckoned with. The Leading Woman Chief Financial Officer (CFO) title was awarded to Dubai World CFO 
Maryam Sharaf.

Maryam Sharaf’s main responsibility with the group involves the preparation and maintenance of financial records, managing an effective system of internal financial control, investigation and advisory work in relation to internal and external financial statements, internal accounts, management records and statements, preparation and maintenance of financial records and internal and external financial reporting.

Maryam Sharaf has over 20 years of experience in the finance industry.

Fatima Al Jaber, COO, Al Jaber Group was chosen as the Leading Woman Chief Operating Officer (COO). In the context of the UAE, her accomplishments make her a pioneer. Before she joined the family business she was undersecretary for the Building Projects Sector in Abu Dhabi Municipality, a significant achievement for a woman in the UAE.

For Fatima to join the family business was not an easy decision. She worked hard to gain credibility and respect. As she evolved into the role of a leading member of the family and the business community at large, she is the one people turn to for advice and guidance.
On a daily basis Fatima manages the delicate balancing act between the rapidly paced work environment and the traditions of home and faith. Fatima also facilitates women’s access to financial services through Al Bashayer Investment Company.

Meanwhile, the forum is hosting the Traditional Arts Auction for raising money for charity organisations in the UAE and the United Kingdom. It has commissioned the internationally renowned luxury watch and jewellery firm Chopard to promote it.
ahmedshaaban@khaleejtimes.ae


Here is what the author, Mr. Ahmed Shaaban responded:

"Good morning

Thank you for your respectable feedback.

First, I would like to take the opportunity and extend my respect to all women, be they professional or not, as I do believe the whole world can not do without them, be they professional or not again.

Second, unless the event were important, I would not be interested in going and covering it.

Third, the whole story is full of appreciation and respect to all the women included and alike.

Fourth, though the title is not at all mine - it is the editorial desk's job - I would say the word 'recipe' used does not have any 'insulting' grounds. It is rather kind of simile. Your word 'disgusting' is even more and more offending.

Fifth, what is really wrong with recipes? I believe this is part of women's magical powers to be able to do many jobs at one time, starting from something they themselves really like. and so do men.

Last, I wish you accept my apology for any unintentional offence.

Thanks & regards

Ahmed Shaaban
Reporter / Translator
Khaleej Times"

So, then I wrote to Khaleej Times to tell them that they were being sexist.

This was my reaction to the November 2006 story on that year's women's summit in the Khaleej Times:
I picked up a copy of the Khaleej Times the other day and skimmed through the articles. I wasn’t really paying attention to headlines, but I hadn’t been able to make reservations at the Beach Rotana Hotel in Abu Dhabi as it was fully booked, so when their name was mentioned as hosting the 2006 Middle East and North African Businesswomen’s Summit, I stopped to read the article.

The headline read, “Hotels Curry Favour with Businesswomen” – which really has nothing to do with much of anything (I read it several times and have concluded that they are saying that hotels spice things up with businesswomen). The article basically says that the businesswomen enjoy the hotel services of food, hair styling, and make-up. It mentions nothing of what topics were covered in the Summit, nor their relation to the business world. It is a brief article which was written by two men and provides insight by an “overworked” hotel coiffeur.

Aramco Sued for death of beauty queen camel

I dare you to come up with creative comments. Dare you. Dare you. Double dare you.

SOURCE LINK

What Desert Girl Wants for Christmas

I know it is a little early, but still... I can keep this in my purse. It is cute and convenient. I wonder if it comes in pink. I wonder if they have a version with crystals. OH - the possibilities!

1 day plus 1 day plus 1 day equals.... two weeks, right?

I had a fantabulous time in DC for the convention. The weather was perfect, the convention went just right, and I got to hang with the fam. I also met a whole lot of new people. It was outstanding.

I visited a botanical garden with my mother one day and fed some enormous catfish and turtles. T’was amazing. It was such a nice day with my mommy. I miss her so much that I get weepy. I think she may come to visit me in February. I hope.

I managed to stretch a 3 day convention into 2 weeks. That worked out well. Ok, in the process, we made several good deals and I hope that one or two will hit and that I will be a Superstar (job security). That was my real goal. I’m very happy with the way things turned out.

Hey, look at how Agility pimped their booth (see photo). Fassssssscinating. So much for sexual harassment and the military, eh? What man's bright idea was that?

I got to go to one of my nephew’s football games. My sister wouldn’t let me embarrass the entire family. It saddened me, but out of respect for her, I didn’t scream like I usually do…. Well, ok, I got off one or two. Our entire bleacher section when painfully silent. I don’t care – I don’t know them.

Let me just say – again – how much I love the United flight to/from DC. They’re having a sale for 135 KD now. Awesome. I sleep the entire trip. Snoring? Do I care if I snore? I have no shame. It may feel like turbulence. It may sound like engines ripping apart. Do I care?

So then, so then, so then I got home and found out that the phucking gardener hadn’t watered my plants… the same plants that I have been nursing back to health all summer after he almost killed them back in the Spring. I am so mad! I got back and all the leaves were off the trees on my terrace and he had taken some kind of pruner to them. OMG! They were thin to begin with, but then dude goes after them like it is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something! He’s from Bangladesh and seems to hate me. Every time I see him, he scowls at me. I think it is because of my dog. You know – people from Bangladesh (male or female) believe that if a dog bites you, you get pregnant (with what – I don’t know). Anyways, I’m so mad, I’m so mad, I’m so mad! All my pretty trees are dead and I wish to batter him about the head with pots and pans (that’s my sister’s phrase – I can’t claim it).

The 2 stray cats (not mine) who live on the terrace, Paint and Petunia, are now pooping in my dog’s poop area. I think they’re doing it to make her angry. They can’t hiss at her anymore because I’ve taken the hose to them on more than one occasion. So, they stare her down and then poop. That’s so catty. Haaaaaaaaaaa!

I got an invitation to a Filipino friend’s home this weekend. The Man and I decided to do something different and actually venture off the sofa on a weekend night and go. She made a lot of food. He looked frightened (he’s not really good about trying new food things). I got him a plate of food with the same things that I ate. I explained to him later what ox tail stew is. He gagged like a little girl. Come ON! Bedouin dudes eat sheep heads and a little ox tail makes him gag? That’s just plain silly. What does he think is in hotdogs? I laughed until my stomach hurt. “Why didn’t you TELL me?! Why did you let me eat it?!” Dude! I ate it too. I said it was ox tail. When you hear “tail” anything, perhaps you should politely decline. Want a piece of tail, baby? (See, now I’m just crackin myself up again!).

This Wednesday night, there is supposed to be a meteor shower. Last night, I was up somewhere ungodly North of Kabd (like, I’m not kidding: half an hour plus past the 3rd traffic circle on 604) and I saw 4 shooting stars. I wish for what I usually wish for (can’t say – it won’t come true). It was so beauteous. I kinda wish I could be out there in desertland again on Wednesday night, but it is a work night. I’ll try.

Slaps moved into her new chateau this weekend. She bought a friend’s apartment contents which were in storage – something like 100 boxes. Way cool. She’s still going through them. She’s got a nice place – a lot quieter than where she was in the Sheikha Complex. It also doesn’t smell like poop. Maybe I should send the cats over there.

Right before I left, I sent Diana a nice e-mail explaining how I felt about the problem we had at the chalet. No response. Ok fine. Now I know where she stands with me.

Desert Girl say: Life is too short for poorly fitting panties or people who don’t really like you.

Where men can go for a massage in Kuwait

I've been blogging since 2004 and now have over 500 posts. So, ask me what the #1 question that my readers ask me .... is it about residency visas? Is it about restaurants? Is it about legal issues? Is it about me personally?

Noooooooooooooooo.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the number ONE question most asked by my readers is.... (here it comes)

"Where do I go to get a massage by a woman?"

(Always asked by men. Not always asked so politely.)

Sometimes I try to be kind instead of just deleting the e-mail message. Then, I'm usually punished for my kindness by come-ons, "So, how old are you? Where are you from?"

To this I say, dudes.... WTF!? I'm a woman. Why do I care where you go to get your massage? And no, I'm not going to GIVE you a massage either. I mentioned one or two little lines in between 499 other posts over a FIVE year timeframe, and this is all youse can come up with?

(This just really proves my point that no one listens to me - either verbally or written.)

So, here are a few places below you can go to get a LEGAL massage. I don't KNOW of any places that do illegal massages (females massaging males). Honest - I don't. If you really want a female to massage you and you believe that I can help you, dial 2484-3900 ask for a nice temperature controlled room and a nice woman to massage all your cares away. If you don't speak Arabic, dial "0" for the operator and ask for the sexy girl who gives massages.

Some men here chose to ask their housekeepers for a massage. Then, they end up married to them. Then, they end up paying for their wife's parent's roof somewhere. (Puhleeze - don't even get me started.)

First, Chinese massage place in Bnaid Al Gar: phone 2251-1101. I couldn't go in because I'm FEMALE, but it looked okay from the street.

Here are a few others below. (I HATE Blogger's formatting issues with pictures!!!!)

Thar ya go. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE STUPID MASSAGE QUESTIONS!!!

DG out.

A Quick Fix for the Non-Virgin

From BBC

Egypt anger over virginity faking

"A leading Egyptian scholar (male!) has demanded that people caught importing a female virginity-faking device into the country should face the death penalty.

Abdul Mouti Bayoumi said supplying the item was akin to spreading vice in society, a crime punishable by death in Islamic Sharia law.

The device is said to release liquid imitating blood, allowing a female to feign virginity on her wedding night.

There is a stigma about pre-marital sex in some conservative Arab societies.
The contraption is seen as a cheap and simple alternative to hymen repair surgery, which is carried out in secret by some clinics in the Middle East.

It is produced in China and has already become available in other parts of the Arab world.
The device is reported to be on sale in Syria for $15.

Professor Bayoumi, a scholar at the prestigious al-Azhar University, said it undermined the moral deterrent of fornication, which he described as a crime and one of the cardinal sins in Islam.

Members of parliament in Egypt have also called for banning import of the item. "

- end -


It is pathetic that women have to resort to this. I have had friends who have either gotten their husbands drunk on their wedding nights so they couldn’t remember anything – to friends who have had the hymen repair surgery (which they have told me costs around $500). How many husbands are virgins on their wedding nights? Well, for $15 (KD 4.300), I guess this thing is worth it to some. Sheeeet - for that much, you could stock a whole closet of them. Thats cheaper than the mascara I buy.

Getting Ready to Go to the AUSA Convention in DC

My how time flies when you are sitting on your fat ass doing nothing.... I can't believe how fast this year is going! Eeek. My mother used to tell me that the older you get, the faster time passes, but what tha Fuuuuu!

I'm getting ready to go to the Association of the US Army's annual convention in Washington, DC. I've been bugging my company to send me (again) for 2 years. I was really really looking forward to it, but then somebody threw a monkey wrench into my gears. I minor glitch. I try not to harp about work-related issues online because one never knows. It is just not prudent. Anyhoo, when Sally did my hair she also read my coffee cup. I hadn't told her that I am going on the trip, but she said, "Oh, I see you are travelling. It will be (pause) annoying." Yeah! That just about summs it up. Annoying.

Anyhoo, the convention is cool (although I always get nervous prior to business-related travel). It is enormous: 500 booths and takes up the entire area of the Washington DC convention center. It lasts for 3 days every year at the beginning of October and is the largest gathering of defense contractors and military personnel in the world. Because of my job in the Wonderful World of Defense Contracting, I should really be there every year. Ultimately, we should exhibit there, but I don't think I'll ever get them past the "Oh my GOD that's expensive" scenario.

My personal opinion is that if you are doing any kind of business development work with the US military, your company should be there - either as a participant or as an exhibitor. At the very least, your company should become a local member of AUSA's Kuwait Chapter (which is listed to the right of the screen here).

What does AUSA do? It is an organization that supports the troops and their families - basically in any way they can. It isn't political - it is about the human side of the scenario. (That is a very loose statement because any military organization is a military organization.) But locally, AUSA runs activities like barbecues for the troops and provides a locker of civilian clothing so that soldiers returning home on emergency leave (like when someone at home dies), they don't have to travel in their uniforms. Nationally, the organization lobbies for better benefits for troops and their families. If at all interested, you can check them out online.

I printed out the list of activities schedule and it is 24 pages long. The list of exhibitors is something like 15 pages long.

Anyhoo, it is in DC and I get to see my family. When I went in 2006, I got to hang out with Bobarino and he's all about the military, so we had fun. I learned a lot from him and I appreciated his input.

Several years ago, the Washington Post, ran an article about the convention and provided a map to the booths that had the best marketing give-aways. The Consul to the US Embassy along with one of the local AUSA guys went to the convention and did the treasure hunt. I wish I could get my hands on another map. The give-aways that I got were pretty standard except for some military type video games where you shoot the crap out of people in different terrain (ok, not so different from most of the video games available commercially, but still). I also got goggle wipes, a tube of goo that will keep your gun from jamming in the sand, a little toy eagle, a whole lotta pens, some key rings, and a few tote bags. Yeah, basically junk, but free junk.

I also shipped back 30 pounds of information on everything everybody had to offer. My boss told me "bring back brochures", so I did (via DHL). I'm not carrying all that crap on a plane! My shoe purchases take up too much weight quota for that. As if.

I still haven't heard from Diana or The Romanian and guess what - I'm not waiting next to the phone. This year has been very revealing to me. It is strange. Just when you think you have everything kinda figured out - BaBAYAM! I have lost a few people who I thought were my very dearest friends and I have found others who I wouldn't have imagined I would become close to. Life is fascinating, isn't it?

All I got for Eid was Drama!

Sometimes you just have those kinds of holidays. Mine has been poopy so far.

Friend Drama #1

The first thing that happened to me since Eid started was that I had a falling out with The Romanian. I’ve been friends with her for how long?.... 11 years. Some people have a problem with communication; they don’t just come out and say things when they have a problem. I believe in discuss, resolve, move on. I wonder if she doesn’t share this philosophy; I wonder if it could be cultural, coming from a former communist country; or is it just a personality issue? The Romanian chooses to ignore me. “I’m in a bad mood.” Is the only clue I get that there is something wrong. So, this is the millionth time it has happened and I have to make a determination if this is a real friend or not. I’m thinking the later.

I have done waaaaaay too much for her over the years and put up with waaaaaaay too much in the way of betrayal to keep up. It’s draining and I don’t believe I deserve it when weighing the balance of how well I have treated her. All of a sudden, I have come to the realization (not just based on the above, but more) that maybe she doesn’t like me very much. When you are faced with that knowledge – after befriending someone for so long – it is very hurtful.

On the Flip: Good Thing That Happened

My friend, T, called me and invited me to dinner that night at Gaucho. We had a really great time and I got to see my brother-from-another-mother, Desmond. It was all smiles and warm and fuzzy. The Man even knew I was feeling bad and he showed up to cheer me up. Thank you, God, for sending me your Angels every day! I always try to count my blessings.

Friend Drama #2

I have a very elegant friend (I’ll call her “Diana”) who invited me for the first time to her family’s chalet. I had a splitting headache yesterday but decided to drive down to (close to) Julai’a anyways just because I adore this woman so much.

It is beautiful and enormous; everything is in colors of light yellow and blue. It is the only chalet I’ve ever been in with an elevator. The table seats 16. There were all kinds of food in about 6 huge containers. I’ve had waaaay too much rice lately, but couldn’t help chowing down on mrubian because it was so good. The deserts were also AMAAAAAZING. (They said they came from a bakery, Caramel?, right next to “Soya Sauce” across from TGI Fridays. I’m going to have to go there and get more of the pumpkin cake. Yummm.)

Diana invited another girl who I know and like very much. She’s (I’ll call her “Ash”) a professional woman with a similar job to mine in management and very polite – like my friend. I like being around her. She always smiles and laughs and has something interesting to say.

And then, there was Diana’s cousin. I thought it was kind of strange the way she came in and ignored me. Her son – around 4 years old – only spoke English, so it was obvious that she did also (just not to me). The three women made polite conversation for a few hours and then things started to change.

Diana doesn’t like vulgar talk or foul language (I’ve never heard her utter a bad word) and both were easily flowing from her cousin. Diana tried under her breath several times to stop her cousin, but she continued. I don’t know if the cousin has a problem with Americans, but she just seemed to be on the attack. I couldn’t really defend myself because I was a first-time guest. First, it was asking me questions like do I like sex followed by “Americans are no good in bed”. (Have you heard this? I’ve heard it over and over again from Middle Eastern people – most of whom have had limited sexual experience of any kind. Can’t you find something else to say that doesn’t make you sound so ignorant and low-class?) Of course the first thing that leapt to my mind (although I couldn’t say it) was, ‘How many Americans have you slept with?’ (Seriously, if you know me, you would know how difficult it is for me to shut up and bite my tongue; not to come back with some quick and cutting remark. I respect my friend so much that I just couldn’t. I also come from a family whose manners simply wouldn’t allow it.) Then, she saw an actress on TV and said, “Look – she’s the only blonde I’ve ever seen who is pretty.” WTF?! I was seated about 2’ away from her at the time. She went on and on asking me about my personal life and do I have a boyfriend and she has a man with a large (one) if I needed him…. I tried to remain neutral on all things, ‘maybe’ and ‘sometimes’. The biotch had the nerve to say, “What kind of a weak personality to you have?! Do you ever answer any questions differently than maybe?” This all followed by a discussion about ME in Arabic with Diana right in front of me.

No wonder Diana has such an air of sadness. “When you have friends like that, who needs enemies?”

I thanked my friend for a wonderful evening and left. Not to be vulgar or use foul language, but Phuck that. (I can say it here. DG is my alter-ego and I can say things that I wouldn’t say in polite – or other as the case may be – company.)

I called The Man for the 2nd time this weekend in tears. He has his own drama but was very defensive and was proud of me for not ripping her eyes out of their sockets and force-feeding them to her.

I took an additional 3 days off this week so I wouldn’t have to see The Evil One at work and maybe get some relaxation in before I have to face more of him. This time off is proving to be equally if not more stressful.

On the Flip: Good Thing

Desert Dawg is always happy to see me. She is full of joy and I’m going to spend a lot more time with her and the stray cats, Paint and Petunia.

I only have about a week until I go to the US on business also. I can't wait to see my family! Yippeeee.


This is my 500th post! Hard to believe I have been complaining this long! Wow.

DG Comments on the Comments of the US Ambassador to Kuwait

I went to a dinner with Slapperella where the speech was given by Dr. Masouma Al-Barrak (another reason why the British Business Forum is better than the American Business Council!). I have never heard her speak before (regrettably) and I really enjoyed it. She spoke of the history of political rights for women and gave me a much better insight of how things have been accomplished; but equally of how difficult it has been for her personally. She is a strong and humorous woman with a dynamic personality. I would love to listen to more of what she has to say. I didn’t know, for example, that out of the 10 candidates in her constituency, she received the most votes.

It was because I was all fired up from hearing Dr. Masouma that I thought I should defend another strong woman in politics in Kuwait who I admire.

The US Ambassador, Deborah Jones, has received a lot of flack recently for comments she made about cats and dogs. You can google the whole story if you want, but some of the fanatic religious MPs have asked for her expulsion from Kuwait; which I find preposterous!

So, for the official Desert Girl commentary:

I believe HE Ambassador Jones' comment, taken out of context was, “...refer to them as the four cats and I said does that mean the remainder are dogs in the parliament? ....”

I'm an American woman who has lived and worked in Kuwait for the past 13 years and I love Kuwait. I have seen several ambassadors come and go and Ambassador Jones has been like a breath of fresh air to Kuwait. I have been extremely happy to see a female Ambassador to Kuwait. She has brought a much-needed perspective to her office and there have been noticeable positive changes at the Embassy.

HE Ambassador Deborah Jones is articulate, speaks fluent Arabic (with a regional accent – which is a rarity), knows the culture and religion of the country, and shows sincerity and kindness towards everyone she comes into contact with. In addition, she has an outstanding sense of humor; in almost every photo of her with members of the Kuwaiti government; regardless of their politics or religious values, everyone appears with a smile, as if they are in on a joke.

That is why I am certain that Ambassador Jones' comments on cats and dogs were of a humorous nature and in were in no way meant to insult male members of Kuwait's parliament. Americans generally use the phrase “cats and dogs” like “apples and oranges”.

It is unfortunate that some people - and this could apply not only to Kuwait, but anywhere in the world - are threatened by a strong, intelligent woman and seek any opportunity to create difficulties for her. This could equally apply to the difficulties faced by the four female members of parliament. Dr. Masouma Saleh Al-Mubarak, as an example, was the first female Cabinet Minister to be appointed in the history of Kuwait and faced (and continues to face) tremendous hardship by opponents; as do the other leading women in Kuwait’s political arena.

Women holding high-level positions in Kuwait (and other countries in the Middle East) face battles from people who believe that a man would be better suited to be in their position. These women are in politics because they have worked hard, persevered, and been nominated to their positions based on merit; not gender. If a man had been better suited for the job, he would be in it. Ambassador Jones was posted to Kuwait based on her expertise. She is of great value to Kuwait in terms of positive relations between the US and Kuwait.

I wish that regardless of gender, we could all just get down to business for the collective good of the Country.

Happy Eid

I can't believe this Ramadan passed so quickly!

Happy Eid everybody! I hope you and your families - are all happy, safe, and enjoy the time off.

Newbies - You have your own Expo!

From the paper

First, I think that these types of ads are great - if done properly. By "properly," I mean with photos of people smiling and with text that contains accurate grammar. And then, there's this one.... Is this really the profile they were after? Personally, I don't think these were the guy's own words (but that's just me). Great idea, poor follow-through.

Quick, dude... what does "resonate" mean? ...

And this... So, is the suspect the father? Because that's how I read it. Um noooo, you can't "catch" gonorrhea from an uncleanly home. So, if the parents and kids have it - it's incest. Regardless, I hope someone hangs for it.

DG Index: Salon Picks (Updated 2011)

I've updated this list a little for 2011.  I'm still getting requests/recommendations and that's great - I'll keep adding.  Please feel free to write to me to tell me more.

“Ask and ye shall receive”. I LOVE requests – especially when I have downtime at work and am getting bored being evil to my colleagues. Thanks, Josephine, for asking for this one!

Hair

     Highlights

Ashlee at Strands, Fanar, is still my all-time favorite colorist in Kuwait.  After all these years, she is the best.  I don't mind the prices because after searching around/trying other salons, I know that Ashlee will give me the best quality color that will last the longest.  (I even tried Tony & Guy; the color faded.  I also felt like the stylists were more concerned with their own appearance in the mirror than working on mine.) Ashlee is very good at color/highlights and does quality extensions (CHA CHING at 500 kd to begin and 250 KD for after-care). Strands Fanar: 25711237.

     Haircuts

Doree at Pineapple Salon in Shaab (off 30 – Fahaheel Expressway) does amazing cuts and did Slapperellas bob (bobs are hard to do) for several years. I don't trust her with color, however. [Why do these ladies think it is ok to put color on hair on roots on hair that has been highlighted for years? It is SO WRONG and messes up your hair bigtime.] Pineapple: 22622100.

People have been asking me about Eden. I used to go to Danielle at Images waaaaaay back when I first arrived in Kuwait. She does great hair – both cuts and highlights - and at reasonable prices. However, she is very difficult to get an appointment with – so much so that I get pissed off about it.

I haven't tried her yet, but Candice (formerly of Beach House I believe) cuts my friends' hair and does an amazing job.  She will go to your home to cut your hair now.  (Write to me for her number at amerab@gmail.com).  My friend, Libra (bflyonthewall@gmail.com or write to me for her number) does an amazing job with a pair of scissors.  You have to go to her home in Egalia, but like my friends say, "She has magic hands" and my hair seems to grow faster after a cut from her.

Cutting Edge is always a safe bet for short, trendy styles.

     Keratin Treatments

I haven't ventured beyond Strands, I must admit.  I trust Ashlee not to damage my hair.  I've had both the Brazilian Blowout and the Chocolate treatments at Strands.  Both had good results; although the Brazilian Blowout didn't last as long as the Chocolate (maybe because I started using the wrong shampoo/conditioner immediately following and no one told me different.  You should use non-sulphate, non-sodium).  Most salons in Kuwait offer keratin treatments that smooth out the hair and make it straighter.  All hair has keratin in it and this replaces what you've lost.  It aint cheap (80 to 200kd - although all keratin treatments are basically the same!):  call around for quotes and make sure the room is ventilated when you have the process done.

Manicure/Pedicures


      Nails 


2011 Update:  Eden salon does Shelak and Gelish nails that last 2 to 3 weeks. Nails retain their shine and great look for that entire time.  I've been having both manicures lately; however, my nails are so thin/brittle that if I don't immediately go in for another manicure when the Shelak/Gelish starts to chip/peel, my real nails underneath get very damaged.  Gloria or Jane at Eden are both very good. (Eden:  2241-9557)

For just a regular manicure/pedicure and hamam zaid (hot oil treatment): Oriental Princess in Salmiya. 25711255. Oriental Princess does everything on volume with low prices, so a mani/pedi will run around 4 KD. Oriental Princess also gives great hot stone massages in a clean, tranquil environment at around 30 KD.

Note to tha Newbies, Kuwait’s laws on hygiene in salons aint what you might be used to. You might consider bringing your own tools or a bottle of alcohol to ensure that everything is sterilized.

     Pedicures

I go for paraffin wax because it makes your feet so soft. I tried the Elements Spa at the Royal Hayatt Hospital and oooooooh my God it was nice. Prepare to be there for a while, and bring a book or iPod. You will be in for an amazing experience – at the same price as you would pay for a paraffin wax pedicure anywhere else.They give you fresh fruit and tea and scrub your legs and do your toes.  O.M.G. The spa is run by Banyan Tree and everything is Thai and tranquil. They also use thai products and paint the wax on your feet (more hygenic than dipping). Royal Hayatt’s main number is 2536-0000 and ask for the spa.

Eden doesn't have the massage pedicure chairs and I'm really picky about that (most places in Kuwait - even the really good quality salons do NOT have massage chairs.)  If I'm going to be anywhere for an hour or more having someone to my feet, I've got to have a decent massage chair because I have a bad back (circus sex - let's not go there).  Please write to me and tell me of salons with massage chairs for pedicures. The only one I know of is Femme Fatale in Mangaf and the pedicure wasn't that great.


If anyone knows of other salons with massage chairs for pedicures, PLEASE write to me!!

Tanning

     Tan in a Can

Strands – either location. Mary Lou does either spray tanning or the kind that you apply by putting it on like lotion. I’ve had the later: It was like having a massage because first she exfoliates your skin (while you’re on the treatment bed), you go to take a shower, and then you come back and she applies the tan. While you are laying there (lying or laying? Mom?), you can also get your hair deep-conditioned.  It is like having a massage and getting tanned all at the same time.

     Spray Tan & Tanning Beds

2011 Update:  Tantastic in Salmiya does spray tan and also Shelak manicures.  Eden has tanning booths.

I had NO IDEA how many Kuwaiti women were getting fake-tanned, but OMG - I sat in Eden getting a mani/pedi and their tanning booth actually overheated!  The girls were in and out of there every 15 minutes.  I asked if it is a trend and the manicurist told me that Kuwaiti girls don't care about the dangers; they'll come in straight off the beach and ask to use the booth, already read.  WTF.  There are going to be serious skin cancer issues down the road in Kuwait if someone doesn't step up and educate these girls.

Make-Up

I don't do the "Carnie Ho" look.  My friend, Libra, used to work for CNN and does amazing make up.  She is an artist with spray make-up to make you look flawless.  She can turn you into a ho if that's what you want (heeeeyyyy, no judgement here), but I like the simple, elegant look.  Libra:  bflyonthewall@gmail.com.

Although not a "pick":  Hanan Dashti salons do the Kuwaiti wedding make-up look.  Em... not so much for me, but here is her site (and you can also check out photos online):  www.hanandashti.com.  (Ah, nothing says "blushing bride" better than 10 tons of make-up.)  

     Semi-Permanent Eyelash Extensions

First, you can get fake eyelashes put on at almost every salon in Kuwait.  But - if you want them to last up to 6 months, there is only one person in Kuwait I know that is CERTIFIED to do the procedure - and that is Libra.  She does "Extreme Lashes".  It is a 2 hour process where  you lay/sleep on her massage bed and she applies the lashes one-by-one.  (She also has to take them off.)

Ok readers – you are free to comment with your own favorite picks now. I’m sure there are many.

The BEST Ramadan Tent in Kuwait - The Palms Hotel

Holy snap! I have found it. After years of searching and looking.... It was right there, almost across the street from my house all this time.

The Man invited me to ftour last night and was so sweet. He didn't know where I might like to go, so he made reservations at 4 places (which, ladies, is what happens if you throw a tantrum like a 3 year old because your man has been lazy in the romance department. Ask me. It works.) We hadn't been to the Palms for a while, so we went there.

I have to admit - I almost ran back to the car when we first got there. The Mishref Sewage Incident has left a bad smell all over Kuwait; and last night, the epicenter seemed to be around the pool at The Palms. I covered my mouth and we forged ahead. And I'm so glad we did. The smell stopped at the door. (If you are planning to go anytime soon, bring a perfume-soaked hankerchief - you gonna need it.)

The tent is pretty - in maroon colors with really pretty Moroccan lamps. There are visible fire extinguishers all over the room (kudos Palms!). The only thing that really disturbed me about the tent was that the floor was unstable. I wore cute high heels and one of my heels actually went though the carpeting into an open joint. They need to work on that.

The food: FRICK-IN- AMAZING! Where do I start? Well, I'll start where I started. My mother has written restaurant reviews of popular buffet restaurants and the advice she always received from the Big Eaters is: Never get distracted by the inexpensive side dishes or bread baskets (as restaurants know they will fill you before you move on). Go right for the big-ticket items. So, I made a dash to the seafood station where Dude was grilling lobster and shrimp. I'm not talkin your average pinky-fingernail sized shrimp: these were good sized - probably of the large variety; and so were the lobster tails. Oh.... my.... God!

The Man was being so nice and continued with that, so I would fill plate and he ran them back to the table (low heels!). Then, we went to the Moroccan station. Yummers! They had huge chunks of tagine lamb, couscous with lots of veggies, bastilla, and shrimp in red sauce.

ALL the servers at the buffet wore hygienic masks! You go, Palms!! All of the servers were attentive, happy and very nice. Sometimes they get a little surly just by the sheer mass of people they are dishing to, but not these folks.

The buffet is very large - comfortable enough to accommodate all the people rushing it at ftour time; it runs around the full circle of the room with a salad station in the middle. It is comfortable, unlike some places with uncreative single-file lines (that everybody in Kuwait knows people are bound to jump). The Palms buffet had separate stations so jumping was ok.

Food stations included pasta, pizza, seafood, Indian, African, Moroccan, desert, salads. There was also a big lamb/rice area (ouzi). There was an Egyptian area, but I think that is just for shoor.

The Palms also has THE BEST CHEESECAKE IN KUWAIT. Real cheesecake - like you would make at home with Philadelphia cream cheese. The kind that my sister used to make. I am so going to order one!

For the 2 of us, we paid 19KD and some change. I don't bother going to a lot of the buffets anymore because they are such a rip-off; charging exhorbitant prices for inexpensive or poor-quality food. The Palms is definately not that: exceptional food and service at a good price.

Thank you, The Palms, for giving me something positive to write about (instead of bitching, moaning, and complaining as usual!)

Oh, and The Man - thank you for making me happy. I get a 50 caliber hole in my heart when we fight.

Lack of Hygiene in Kuwait Governmental Offices

I had to go to the traffic department at Farwaniya today. Thank God, it is only the 2nd time in the 13 years that I have been in Kuwait that I've had to go there. Coincidentally, I had to pay a 10 KD ticket because someone hit my car right outside the department doors: I went, not by choice, but to pay traffic tickets from like 1920 for speeding (apparently, just now their manual ledger system is catching up to those who want to renew their residency visas).

Here's a little Kuwait hygiene update for ya: Not one person had hand sanitizer in the entire building. I was whippin mine out left and right. I was totally disgusted. Ew ew ew. One would THINK that with all the hype everyone in country is making over the flu that at least they would provide hand stuff to government employees - or in dispensers. But noooooooooooooooooooo.

The one place I did note that it is everywhere is the International Clinic. There is a big bottle on every counter. Good for them.

Swine Flu and Ignorance

I was at the International Clinic the other day, waiting with a gazillion other people in the waiting room. People all around me were reading the clinic's magazines and newspapers. I kept my arms folded in my lap the entire 45 minute wait (and vowed to go home and scrub my elbows - the only part of my skin that had touched anything in the waiting room). One guy walked in with a mask; he was also reading a paper. Someone looked at him and said, "Don't worry..." I said, 'Yeah, you have a better chance of catching Swine Flu from that newspaper you're holding than anything airborne.' The Kuwaiti woman next to me looked up, wide-eyed in shock, and said, "WHY?!" (magazine still in hand). I said, 'Because you never pick up a magazine in a doctor's office. Think about it. How many sick people before you have been handling it?' The whole waiting room practically threw the periodicals on the tables.

I mean, c'mon people - this is basic common sense...

With all the hype, I haven't seen too many parents teaching their childen NOT to put their hands to their mouths (which is exactly what the Kuwaiti woman's daughter did after throwing her magazine on the floor). I figured I had done enough psychological damage for one day to mention that little tidbit.

WHY do medical facilities even HAVE periodicals in their waiting rooms right now? Doesn't anybody get it? There should be anti-bacterial wipes/wash on all the tables instead of magazines.

I also still see people walking around and coughing into the open air without covering their mouths. At this point, I don't think it is inappropriate for ANYONE to chastise people for not covering their mouths. They could be infecting everyone around them.

Well, not that any of this is going to do any good. All the raw sewage that is seeping out all over Kuwait will probably carry enough germs to get most of us anyways.

And on this note.... I was home sick the other day when my maid was there. I'm usually at work. I noted the one bottle of cleaning fluid that she was using: Fairy. She cleans my ENTIRE apartment with Fairy. WTF?! I have tried to educate her over the years and she still doesn't get it. Guess what I threw out? ALL the Fairy; and she's not getting any more.

Directions to Shatiya Watiya Restaurant

If you want to try good Kuwaiti food during Ramadan - rather than shelling out upwards of 10 KD for a buffet that doesn't include anything Kuwaiti, try Shatiya Watiya. I also like Freej Soweleh, but there have been very long lines during Ramadan and because there is so much construction around Shatiya, people aren't going there.

Directions:

Shatiya Watiya is located in the Behbehani Houses complex downtown between the Gulf Road and the Sheraton. You can take any of the highways leading into 1st Ring Road downtown. At the "Sheraton Round About" - also known as Jahra Round About (and the Suicide Circle) , go past the Sheraton (on right) on Soor Street towards the Gulf Road. Soor Street will T at the Gulf Rd - Go right. Take immediate right onto small street (church on left), take 1st right into parking lot with a dirt road. Go straight until you see (trees and then) the Behbehani houses and Dar Al Funoon Gallery. Shatiya will be on the left.

Shatiya's phone number is 22422088.