My 50 KD drive to work

So, I played bumper cars again this morning in traffic. DOINK! I was moving into a lane. A woman behind me in another lane decided she wanted to be in the same lane. I was already in it when she came over and we bumped. No damage to my RENTAL car; hers had a scrape on the front bumber of her older-model Landcruiser.

Hard to determine who was at fault, but since it was the rear-end of my car, it was probably her fault. Not that it matters in Kuwait, but just in terms of the arrogance factor. Take the higher ground...

We look at both cars and I ask her if she wants to call the police or go. “Who will fix my car,” she asks me demurely. Well, technically, either way, she will (or if she is lucky and can sucker some poor guy into doing it for her - then HE will). She’s going to get the police report, then take it to her insurance company; then, depending on if she has full coverage or liability she will have to take it to (full coverage) the garage that the insurance company uses or; (liability) to whatever garage she chooses – AFTER waiting about a year for the payment to process. On liability, she’ll have to go to the traffic department and try to get her money from them after all that time. Major pain in the ass. Been there, done that, drive a rental car now.

I told her that we are both looking at 5 hours of police stations (PLURAL) with lots of disgusting people. She shrugged. I called 777 and the new non-English-speaking female call attendant hung up on me TWICE. What would happen if it was a real emergency. Yeah, that’s Kuwaiti “emergency” services for ya! So much for training. Transfer the call to someone who DOES speak English, Mdme. Disfunctional! (I called back later and asked for a 777 supervisor. I told another lady my story about woman #1 and she said, “I am really sorry. I work with idiots.” HA! At least a bit of honesty to brighten my day. Gave me a giggle.)

Anyhoo, we waited for 10 minutes and I’m thinking about how shitty my day is going to be, so I hop out and tell her that we both have jobs and why don’t we just solve the problem. She mumbles something about working for both Kuwait University and the Ministry of Health (as IF I giveashit). I should have told her a little bit about where I work and waited for her reaction. (But I DIDN'T - I was GOOD.) Anyhooo, I offer her 50 kd. She pouts, she shrugs, she waves her 600 kd watch in the air, she agrees.

We drive to the bank. I take out the money, thinking that regardless of who is at fault and how arrogant they are, I don’t want a bunch of grungy cigarette-smoking men in a hygienically-challenged office looking at my ass for the entire day; so I hand over the money. She says, “It will cost 70. I take it to Sayer…” Bullfuckinshit. The car is over 5 years old! Take it to any guy in Shuwaikh and in 2 hours, it will be brand new for 30 or less. Puhleeeeze. You can’t bullshit a bullshitter! I bullshit for a living. I have a PhD in Bullshit.

I was GOOD. I behaved myself. I didn’t break a sweat. I didn’t loose my cool. Nada. I should receive extra vertical mileage for this.

God bless her heart.

Yo - Anonymous commenter.... IN your face. Arab Times, November 6, 2008: