Where have all the hotties gone?

This weekend, we finally got back out to the desert, after much drama from my friend, L, who finally just dissed the whole idea of going to Kabd and went to sleep. MuslimArtist, CineDude, Bunny, my dog (Desert Dog for anonymity purposes) and I went out to Bunny’s friend, Khalid’s, place. If I had told MArtist about Kabd’s somewhat-low-class reputation, she may not have wanted to go. (As my Arab-princess-girlfriends say, “Kabd! Ohmagawd! You didn’t go to Kabd, did you? Are you seeeeeeeeeeerious? Shinu haaatha, habibti? La! Aaaaysheeeey!")

I like Kabd (North) better than B’naider (South) because it is quieter and the sand is finer. B’naider has more of a circus/zoo atmosphere to me. There is a spot, North of the Ministry of Information radio tower, in Kabd where mostly Bedouin dudes fly and train falcons and it is one of my very favorite spots in all of Kuwait (not just because of the Bedouin dudes although they are very important). The terrain is different: there are hills and the sand dunes are fine. It is incredibly quiet there and very few camps because it is so far off the road. A few years back, I was driving my 4x up there and 3 salukis were keeping pace up to 45 kilos per hour; Totally awesome/beautiful dogs. They were loving it - smiling and tails wagging.

It is always nicer to go to the desert with people who haven’t been there before because you get to see it from another person’s eyes. It makes it all fresh again. It also looks MUCH prettier in the dark.

Anyhoo, after 3 years of knowing Bunny, I had never met his best friend, Khalid, who I have long-adored because he took such good care of Bunny while they were both up in Iraq as interpreters. Khalid and Bunny are best friends (teezain fi surwal or "two asses in one underwear" in Arabic). He cooked us mendi – which I love. Mendi is like khalua pig; you roast the meat in a coal pit covered with sand.

It was the first time in 3 years that Bunny had ever taken me to the desert. I’ve been nagging him for forever to go with me/take me, but this was the first opportunity I have ever had to spend some time under the stars with the Bedouin Bunny that he is. I loved to see how he was interacting with Khalid; he seemed so happy and content – which is a rarity because I usually see him annoyed by his mobile phone which is constantly ringing. Bunny is definitely in his element in the desert. He told me that his father used to make the most wonderful Arabic coffee and Bunny seems to have learned from the best. The coffee was awesome. So was the loomi (dried lime) and zaatar (thyme) tea. The only thing missing was camel milk. There was a camel at an adjacent camp that had just been born an hour before we arrived at the camp, but it was too dark to see it.

Desert Dog loves any opportunity to get out and run around in the desert. She gets a big dog-grin whenever she’s out there. She only likes good people and spent a lot of time trying to win Khalid over. She was totally sandy (changes color from white to yuck-yellow) and smelled like camp fire, but very happy when we got home.

I actually was able to drive my sports car into the desert: that is, after we almost broke the axle on an enormous, un-marked speed bump. F the speed bumps!!!!! At least paint them pink or put reflectors on them or something. Now my car is all out of alignment again. Thank God, nothing happened to the rims. Me and Bunny would have been up in Amghara searching through the scrap yard again. That would have really sucked big time.

Side note: I will leave you in the desert alone to die a horrible death, CineDude, if you ever want to leave early for a booty call again. Next time, you will be arranging your own booty-call transportation. There IS booty-call etiquette, you know. We saw right through you, dude, “I want to go home. I’m tired. I want to go to sleep.” BS!!! you’re from LA! We're all friends. Ya coulda just SAID you had to leave early for a booty call. We all understand. Plus, where did my damn tequila go? I had like 1 glass! I’m pissed and not in a British way. Any idea that a bottle goes for 40 kd? Yo. I’ll get over it. I will. Really. Eventually. I will. Sheeeeeeeeet.

Future-Husband-and-Father-of-my-Children has been busy all week with Muharram. They have a family hassania, so he’s been busy there doing stuff. I’m glad he’s so dedicated to religion and family. He’s going to make a great father for my kids. Funny that the Future-Mother-of-His-Kids is out romping in the desert, cavorting with men and drinking ONE frickin glass of tequila - while he's being devout. Go figure. Opposites attract (right?). tee hee.

(Lack-of-segway here): The construction dudes outside my building actually seem to be doing something –not just digging holes and filling them in as I had long-suspected. I saw them bring in some new pipes and replace the old nasty ones. Are those sewage pipes? Damn – if that is the case, then I really hope that they finish the job before the summer. Thank God – I live on the top floor, but still…. Ick, ew. Anyhow, they now have the entire neighborhood dug up and I feel like I am living in a slum. NOT a nice site to let visitors see. Let me just say that construction workers in this country are by far nicer than in the States. One of them actually said, "Good morning," to me today - and he wasn't even staring at my T or A.

(Yet another lack of cool segway here): My mom is going to have her hip replaced early next month. She sounds so worried on the phone. I really should go there to be with her. I wonder how that would go over at work. I feel terribly guilty being here, away from her. I’m her favorite daughter, after all. We are both writers and she has the same sick sense of humor. She’s going into a rehab facility after the operation for 10 days. Maybe I should go there to be with her when she gets home. What do you people think?

Yesterday, I hung out with MArtist and L and went to look for “eye candy”. We didn’t find any; only one guy who kept looking my way, who we dubbed, “Bowel Movement Man.” He had a look on his face like he was constipated and L and MArtist were suppressing giggles every time I made a noise like he might be passing something. He even walked like he was constipated. That is our fun. That is how pathetic it has become. We went to 3 places for coffee, hoping to see even 1 man who was remotely handsome. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Where have all the hotties gone? Can anyone tell me? Is there one place in Kuwait where they all converge? Where is it? Cause I haven’t been able to locate it. Believe me, I’ve tried…