April: A Very Good Month

This has been such a busy month.  All kinds of activity and almost all of it is good.  I haven't had time to think, but thank God, I have been sleeping really well.  Probably because I'm going to bed trashed-level-tired.

I had a great 29th (again) birthday. I bought my very cool disco laser lights and let my neighbors know that the noise level was about to go up substantially.  That's fine toooo because their little "urchins" wake me up ALL the time and make so much noise that my 12 year old dog gets scared to the point where she pees - regardless of where she is (sofa, floor...) at the time.  NoisyParty is payback.  They can deal.  And dude - 7:30 am on a FRIDAY is not an appropriate time to play house soccer with your kids!! RRRRR

About 50 people showed up in a continual flow.  I had a great time.  No one brought hookers this time and everything went really well.  Oh, okay... I know what you are going to say - there were two that appeared to be hookers, but I don't think they are - the "Yabadabadoo girls" are actually a mother and her daughter I have known since 1993.  Moms Yabadabadoo used to be married to a guy who hit her all the time and she went a little wild after the divorce. I don't know what her daughter's excuse is. I was running around trying to appease all the groups (and introduce myself to people I didn't know) and ended up not really having time to talk to everybody.  I was trying to ensure that Kal was comfortable (AKA "babysit")  because I don't think his Bedouin blood has ever seen a party like that before and I was afraid it would be too mush of a strain on him (which, I think, it probably was).

So, next day (my actual birthday date), my place was trashed. Stuff was everywhere - even with the helpers I had in.  Slaps called me and asked me to go to lunch with her at Muhallab.  I didn't know that Butterfly, Spanx and the husbands would be there too.  Awesome.  So we ate fish like mofos and went home to my place to continue what we started the night before.  With cake.

I still have cupcakes and cake balls leftover and I'm not parting with them.

I figured what the hey - I could get away with leaving a partial mess for my housekeeper lady to take care of.  And then... DAYAM... where WAS she???  Whaaaa??? Her phone is disconnected?  Wait a minute... she just took a salary advance... oh shit....  I never liked that biotch anyways.

Bunny was very gracious and changed all the locks,  and I started searching for a part time fill-in maid.  She was supposed to show up on her only day off - Saturday.  Okay fine. I can clean until then, but she'd better show up as I was having a birthday lunch for a Kuwaiti girlfriend, Corvette Girl,  on Saturday afternoon. 

Friday night, spontaneous party erupted.  Stealth ended up asleep on my sofa at 3ish-am after many sad stories about his married, domestically-abused girlfriend on an endless, recurring loop (same story, every 5 minutes.... all... night.... long).  There is no arguing with someone who won't remember the conversation anyways.  Naz and his brother were not impressed.  Slaps actually stayed waaaaaaaaaaay past her self-imposed bedtime and even after The Romanian had headed home.  Stealth's cousin, Handcuff Dude, had cut out long before (sometime after the shooters started).... 

Sidenote:  I call him "Handcuff Dude" because Slaps a) got ahold of the "designer" handcuffs she gave me for my birthday (joke gift, ok?)  and proceeded to put them on Handcuff Dude and b) Stealth went up to his car and got real handcuffs and she proceeded to put them on HERSELF.  Haven't I told you a MILLION TIMES that you never put the handcuffs ON before you ask where the key is?!  What is WRONG with you???

My house was trashed yet AGAIN.

Cut to the next morning (I can't believe I'm still alive at this point...)  and back-up maid doesn't show.  DAYAM!  I have to clean AGAIN. (Yes yes, I am spoiled.  Shut up!)  My head felt like it was going to explode.  I swearaGod, I hadn't even taken my make-up off from the night before;  I looked like Courtney Love with even worse hair.

... and finished just in time for Corvette Girl and friends to come to lunch.  Whew!  Love you, Corvette Girl.  Hope you had a happy day.  Butterfly told a story about her swinging neighbors and we laughed hard for a few hours with the gang.

So then, Bunny took me (drivin kinda jungly, my friend; DWB)  to see Bobarino at the chest hospital because Bobarino had had a heart attack and although I didn't go to see him right away (because we are always pissed off at each other like good brothers and sisters always are), I went to see how he was. Thank God, he's okay and not too terribly pissed off at me for getting in touch with his mother - just incase.  Dude, I love you, but sometimes your friends just CARE - that's all. I brought him some self-help books: "How to be a Better You" par example.  Tee hee.

Yesterday was Easter and I had to make a quick trip to see some lovely ladies in Bayan. More giggles.  (Beware of those terrifying Chihuahuas .... that's all it would take for an invasion.)   I was wearing my usual "uniform" black/dark look (office attire) and they looked so pretty in bright colors; blue and yellow - so bright and cheerful;  made me feel shameful that I was wearing what I was on EASTER, so I dashed home and changed into Pink....  (Ya know... you really can't let special occasions pass by...)

Bobarino was okay enough to go to Flyguy's house for an Easter throwdown yesterday afternoon.  Bobarino even drove himself.  Dude!  Are ya crazy?!  Why are you out and about?  Where's yo WOman?  But seriously, let's talk about what is really important here:  they served deviled eggs!!!!  Yummm.....  DEVILED EGGS!!!  Those people can cook.  Seriously.  They've got such a lovely home and are always so gracious.  I got home at something like 5 (pm not am) and fell asleep.

Me tired.