The Desert Girl Eid Show

I Ugly-fied Desert Dawg: I decided to “do something a little different” and have Desert Dawg’s hair cut “poodle style” for Eid. I don’t know what prompted this, but it has had horrific consequences. She is really pissed off at me (just LOOK at the little face in the picture) and I can’t blame her. I won’t do it again and I feel really bad. Now, it is so short in some places (doggy ass) that I have to wait for it to grow out a little so that the groomer has something to work with. My fear is that if I have her completely shaved, that she will freeze to death because I keep my bedroom at sub-zero temperatures to sleep. (Purgy) I am completely against animal abuse and I have seemed to have done it myself this time. Poor little thing. (Her hair WILL grow back!)

Non-restaurant review: I went to Fareej Suwaileh restaurant this weekend (in Salmiya close to Marks & Spencer). The service was so bad that we walked out before we ever had the chance to order. I asked to speak to the manager and was told that, “He is resting.” Gee, how nice for him. I was planning to write a restaurant review about it, but there was no way in hell I could do it (as, of course, all the reviews in Kuwait are positive, positive, positive/perky-perky). The menu in English is worth the entire visit, however. There were so many spelling mistakes that I lost count (like “Kuwaitian Fodd” and “lamp shops”). Too bad. The restaurant is close to home and I was looking forward to a Kuwaiti place around the block. I’ll stick to Shatiya Watiya – even though I have to go cross-country to get there now because of all the construction/street closure around the Behbehani houses.

I guess it wasn’t my night because we decided to go to Araya to The Ritz restaurant which has amaaaaaaaaaazing fish & chips, only to discover that ever-entrepreneurial Sameer Dahan (you go, boyyyyy!) has struck again; and the restaurant was closed for renovation. We ended up saying “F it” and went to Bukhara at the Sheraton because at that point, I needed good service and guaranteed good-quality food (also known as "pampering"). We ran into my lawyer and his very-pregnant wife for the 2nd time in 2 days (the day before at the SAS). She must think we are stalking him. I am fer sure going to Ricardo this weekend because OMG there were a lot of really handsome men in there! I haven’t been there in years and the food used to be outstanding (this was in the days when there were still men in Kuwait who invited me to nice restaurants and not just Starbucks).

Eid was interesting. Slaps was in Oman and it was just me and The Romanian. We got invited to a lot of parties, but I just haven’t been in a party party mood. We’ve been doing quiet stuff lately which seems to better suit my mood. “A bottle at home is better than 2 in the bush (desert)” so to speak.

I had some very nice messages and very nice calls from friends I haven’t heard from in a while – like Maz, Olive’s brother. (If you are reading this – let’s go. You name the country and I’m in.)

I received a left-handed SMS from the SheDevil for Eid. I know she’s doing it just to F with me now and it may just instigate war. The content is such that the meaning of the message is twisted – she isn’t doing it to be nice although I’m sure that’s what she’s telling him. I can’t tell if The Man is F-ing with me or if it is just the SheDevil. Either way, it is going to be on like donkey kong if this stuff doesn’t cease and desist. Please don’t pretend to be my friend just to get what you want. I see through it. The draaaaaaaaaaaaama! Whay whay.

Anyhoooooooooo.

Speaking of oddities: I had a very strange experience last week. I met a TV personality (I'm not naming names) through a friend. He is (in his words) “ready to settle down” and showed some interest initially through e-mails and phone calls. So, we met for dinner. He reminded me of a little dog – constantly looking around the room and very very nervous. Yes, I did show compassion and kept telling him that he really should have a cigarette (or a bottle of vodka perhaps). He put on a nicotine patch and rubbed it constantly (on his ARM, dirty-thinkers!) At the end of the meal (which ROCKED – best part of the evening; although he said, “I thought scallops meant escalloped. I don’t eat shellfish…” Like I care.), he said, “You have some very serious thinking to do. This will be a long-term commitment.” Oh snap – he said the word too soon. It’s like sex that is over too fast. Commitment: JeezLouise – even I know better than to use that word on first date. It freaked me out. Show people!

OH! I have a classic for you people out there… I met a guy in his 40’s (managerial position at a ministry) several weeks ago and I didn’t feel like calling him back. I finally did and he said he wanted to send me his picture (I only spoke to him twice). What he sent me was a picture of his weenie (also known as: winky, pee-pee, po-po, Johnson, peter, one-eyed-trouser-snake, heat seeking moisture missile, tallywacker, etc…). OMG! WTF is happening to Kuwait???? I told him that I am saving it incase he ever calls me again – that I’ll file a case against him. What is WRONG with people???? Is it just that I’m an ajnabeea? Do you think he does this with Kuwaiti women also? What would make someone think that that kind of behavior is ever appropriate?

There is definitely something in the stars lately because this isn’t even the worst thing that has happened to me lately. I can’t discuss the worst. I wish I could, but too many people reading this know who I am (if you really really want to know – write to me amerab@gmail.com and I’ll send you the excerpt). I liked it when I used to be anonymous and could write about EVERYTHING. Maybe I should start another blog called, “freaky shit” (yeah, as if the freaky shit you’re finding here isn’t bad enough, right?).

I’m going to the US at Christmas for another reality break: Family, Nemacolin Woodlands Spa in Pennsylvania for hot stone massages… ooooo saaaaaaa.