Tailors, Fabrics and other "get it made" stuff

Ladies and gentlemen, it is time once again for the season change in Kuwait and as such, time for me to remind you people about where to go to have clothes made.

Kuwait rocks when it comes to having stuff made:  Clothes, furniture, cabinets, drapes, even funky Indian shoes.  I've had all kindsa stuff made here (everything mentioned in that last sentence) and can make recommendations about where to go for each.

So let's start our talk with tailors.  Having recently been on a fabric-buying trip with Stella and M (to be nicknamed later), (and having our butts stared at by 4.2 hundred nasty men in the fabric souq)  I thought I would share the information I have learned about having clothes made here. 

You gotta start with the fabric and be ready to be disciplined.  The fabric souq downtown (map is on this post) is going to shake your discipline because you will see thousands of gorgous fabrics and you just "know" that  you can have something (anything) made from it.  So you buy it and then wonder what you will do with it.  (I'll get to "Where do I get it made?" in a minute.) Unfortunately, it is full of icky men (WHY?) who stare.  You'll also notice that Esmeralda and her sisters are in there buying fabrics for The Ball at any given time.  (Sometimes Esmeralda wants to jack your Western style, so she'll come rushing into the store to see what  you're buying while she rudely starts ordering the guy  helping YOU pick out fabrics what to pull out for her.  Out-diva the diva!)

The fabric souq - also known as "Block 9" is in downtown Kuwait.

The first building of stores (towards Mubarak Al-Kabeer Street) are more upscale and you can find baGORGEOUS fabrics for dresses, blouses, etc in silk, silk velvet, linen and other nice weaves.  I loves me some silk chiffon. Give it to me, baby (uh huh, uh huh..)

It also has men's fabric stores (light wool - "winter dishtasha" material; good for suiting for both men and women) and houses Karim Tailor (which is the best place in town to have men's suits, women's business suits, and coats made).  Karim Tailor is on the 2nd floor in the middle. Take Karim Tailors a favorite old wool coat and they can replicate it.

The first building also houses a lot of upholstery material shops.  Re-upholstering anything you have is less expensive than in the US/UK.  If you are indecisive (like me),  you can even have sofa/chairs made (to be discussed later in this post) with different slipcovers.  (I'm feeling a need to have some made even now as I'm writing this.)  You can have matching pillows, bedspread, and curtains made, fer example.  Nisssche. 

The 2nd building has less-expensive (and some hoochie-mama) fabrics and lots of notions stores.  It is also where you can find Indian Heritage.

Indian Heritage is one of my favorite fabric stores.  A lot of expats know the store.  It is the BEST place to get raw ("chanton") silk - in just about any imaginable color.  It sells for KD5($18) meter (which is way better than the $100/M it goes for in the US of Hey).  Indian Heritage also has all kindsa other awesome fabrics, ready-made Indian clothing, furniture, costume jewelry, bed and table linens, pillow covers and more.  It is a great place to stock up on Christmas gifts.  Indian Heritage is fixed price, but most of the other fabric stores are not, soooooo....Haggle!

If you want to have funky Indian shoes made (genie shoes that curl at the toes), there is a shop behind the 2nd building to the left as  you walk out.  I got my sister some genie shoes one year for Christmas. (Photo is similar - mine were way cute pink with sequins.)

NEGOTIATE!  Don't be timid.  "Akher shay" is how to ask for a better price.  Tell them what I do:  that I have 8 children, my husband was a Kuwaiti martyr and today is my birthday.  Work it!

Otay, for the ladies:  If you want to have a ballgown, dress, trousers, or even beadwork or embroidery, Elegance Tailors in Jabriya is THE place to go. Shams is your guy.  He is a wonderful tailor and pays close attention to detail.  Phone:  25325865.  Elegance is in the Commercial Block is behind Mubarak Hospital on the same street as the Philippines Embassy, Block 7, Street 103.  There are a lot of other shops in the building and many do really beautiful embroidery work.  Elegance is on the right (if you walk in from the front of the building) with wood panneling on the front.  (Again, Esmeralda might be there trying to push you out of the way - push back.  I do.)

Shams is very good, but you should make sure that you get properly fit when the item is finished.  He can also copy anything you bring him and if  you bring him your fabric and a photo, he'll make it for you.  Pattern?  We don't need no stinking pattern!   Do not EVER go to any tailor in Kuwait before Eid.  It isn't pretty.  Everybody and their mother is getting new clothes for Eid and there is a backlog.  Usually, anything takes about a week to complete.

Otay, so on to furniture.  Say you like a 10,000 designer sofa that you saw in the US of Hey (the one I liked was $6000 and shipping at $1500)... get a photo, get some dimensions, get your butt to Dajeej. Or maybe you saw an incredibly overpriced sofa or other piece of furniture at a local store.  Sneak photos, but be discreet.  Most places are onto the furniture copying trick.   The place I had my sofa made in Dajeej is no longer there.  I would recommend that you visit several shops and look at their work.  Then, start asking for quotations on how much they would make it for.  I recommend picking out your fabric FIRST (a lot of the fabrics in Dajeej are less expensive but of a lesser quality than what you would find at the Fabric Souq), and then have the furniture makers in Dajeej tell you how much fabric you will need.  Sometimes, you can bring a swatch and a card from the fabric store, and let the furniture makers buy it cheaper for you.  If you can take an Arab with you to the furniture maker, it is even better because they will haggle the sh&t out of it.  My sofa took about 10 days to make.  Don't be afraid to make them make adjustments if it isn't perfect - it is YOUR money and YOUR furniture. (I heard a lot of blah blah blah about why they couldn't - whatever - and one scream settled it.)

There are also carpenters in Dajeej - just drive around.  They can make dining room tables, chairs, cabinets - all kinds of stuff.   There are carpenters in Shuwaikh too (off Canada Dry Street - near where the banks are near 55 - Airport Road).  Those guys make ANYTHING:  Chairs, doors, cabinets, room dividers, outdoor benches/furniture.  It is way cool just to go there and check them out.

So, here are the maps.     Have fun.

Fabric Souq downtown.

Elegance Tailors in Jabriya.

Calling Bidun Women in Kuwait

A representative from Refugees International is in Kuwait and would like to meet with Bidun ("stateless" - no nationality) women to discuss their personal stories; life, obstacles, what it is like for them and their children to have no nationality in Kuwait.  It is extremely important that stateless people share their personal experiences so that others can understand the situation.  No one else can be their voice.

As you may know, RI has been instrumental in bringing the Bidun cause to global attention through their reporting and activism.  They have published numerous reports (check out here). 

Please pass the word to Bidun friends who can get in contact directly with the RI rep.  Contact e-mail is melanie@refintl.org. 

Refugees International website is http://www.refintl.org/.

Kuwaiti Bidun men will be facing court for protesting: Mona Kareem

Re-posted directly from Mona Kareem's blog:

Mona says,

"This February, after the Arab spring hit our streets, the Stateless (Bidun) youth of Kuwait went in protests in their areas (Taimaa, Sulaibiya, and Ahmidy) where the government has worked for years into isolating them. The Bidun are 100,000 in number equaling by that 10% of Kuwaiti population. I do not want to explain once again who are the Bidun and what they are going through, as you can check this label "Bidun" in my blog to know more in details.

My father has always described democracy in Kuwait being "as weak as a chocolate bar" referring to how this alleged "democracy" is an exclusive right for certain people/classes in Kuwait. We saw a Shiaa tweep getting arrested and banned from family visits by state security police months ago because he bashed the Saudi and Bahraini regimes, we saw Egyptians getting deported for protesting in front of their embassy in support of Al-Baradi last year, and in support of their revolution this year. We have also witnessed police brutality against hundreds of Kuwaiti youth protesting in February and March for their rights of documentation, health, education, and citizenship. 

Around 100 Bidun youth were investigated by the state security police for over a week (Investigation is not limited to questions and answers, as you can imagine of an Arab regime). Kuwaiti Human Rights association has met with those who were investigated, later released, and documented how they were tortured and harrased. When contacting one of the association's members, she told me that those agreed to speak asked to keep their cases confidental in fear of facing SS again. 

On the coming 18th of December, 48 Kuwaiti Bidun men will be facing court for protesting. In Kuwait, "the country of chocolate-democracy", those who are not Kuwaitis are not allowed to protest for whatever reason. Citizens are asked to get a permission for protesting, and might not face trouble if they do not, depending on the nature of their protest. Those 48 men where bailed out paying 6$ each except for one man who payed 3000$ because he confessed to have been the mastermind of those protests, sending text messages to others to join the protests. 

Last June, Human Rights Watch, for the first time, organized a conference in Kuwait on the case of Bidun, gathering authorities and Bidun activists to reach a proposed solution. Kuwait, for sure, gave promises and started to give some birth and marriage certificates, only to back again and fire some Bidun from their jobs, confiscate some passports, and stop issuing Identification cards. The situation is swinging and speculations cannot be "logically" made. 

I ask all activists, international organizations, and human rights groups to stand with the Bidun who will be facing trials for their natural right of protesting. This inhuman discrimination needs to be stopped, and human's right of free speech should not be negotiated anymore."

K'sPath Golf Tournament

Where were you on this day ten years ago?

I was at home in Kuwait watching Good Morning America with Dianne Sawyer.  As she reported about the 1st plane hitting, the 2nd one hit.  I terrified because my mother was travelling that day; possibly thru Boston to NY. After 2nd plane hit and I watched it live on TV, I sat in my living room crying my eyes out, thinking she was on that plane, until I knew she was ok.  I'm sure my neighbors must have heard me because I was scream-sobbing so loud. 

My sister was in her office in VA close to Dulles airport in the DC area. I called her and she didn't know it had happened; thought I was being a nuissance (she was in the middle of her sales meeting) and hung up on me!  I guess I wasn't too coherent and probably made no sense, shouting, 'Where is mom!  Where is mom!'  Within minutes, fighter jets were flying over her office, cell phone service was down, and she was rushing to get her son from school - like every other parent in the Mid-Atlantic region. The roads were full of emergency service vehicles and the fighter jets continued circling.  Employees in my sisters office had family members who worked at the Pentagon and couldn't get through to them on phones.

I felt very very alone sitting in my apartment in Kuwait.  The most horrific thing for me was seeing people jumping from the towers to escape burning to death.  When the plane hit the Pentagon, (I later found out) my friends living close by felt it from their homes.  There were immediate reports that car bombs were being detonated around the DC area and no one knew what would hit next. Everyone was sad and confused.  It was like the end of the world.

My Kuwaiti friends started calling me right away; asking if I needed anything and expressing their compassion and support; some were crying. Nobody could believe it.  It still looked like an action movie and it couldn't be real.  TV channels repeated the scenes over and over again.

Some people in a high rise across the street from my building in Salmiya put out a huge American flag on their balcony.  They took it down right away - probably not wanting to be a target.

The next day, I was crossing a street downtown and some (foreign Arab) young men were celebrating in the street and shouted at me that they were happy at what had happened.  It was shocking and scary.  I just put my head down and started crying again.  How could people be so heartless?   I heard that Kuwait immediately deported several groups of young Palestinian men (along with their families) who were celebrating in the street and handing out candies (maybe the same guys who harrassed me).
My cousin, a nurse who lived in Alaska, travelled to New York to volunteer and work at ground zero.  She, like others, were shocked that there were no need for medical crews following the fall of the towers.  She told me about the rescue dogs that accompanied their team and how they had to bring them down from the wreckage of the towers because their paws were getting burnt from the still-hot wreckage even days later.

For those of us who have worked hard - either personally or professionally - to promote better Arab/Western relations  (in small or large ways), 9-11 was a terrible shock to the system.  My thoughts turned to how my Moslem friends in the US would be treated and would feel.  We all know that travel to the US from the GCC declined drastically after 9-11.  When I went to Virgina last month, I noticed that there are a lot more Gulf Arabs than there have been in previous years either visiting or living in/around DC.  It has been a sloooooow process to get things back to normal.

I think most Americans have personal stories of how 9-11 affected them.  We all know where we were that day and perspectives of how much things have changed since.  I still can't believe that it has been 10 years.  It still hurts to see the photos and listen to the stories and it feels very recent.

Why the rude?

I started my weekend off being blocked in by a car in our underground parking garage at work.  I was wrongly parked in a space that I thought belonged to our company.  I shoulda paid more attention to the sign (in Arabic), but I've seen other people from our company park there before, so I didn't think anything of it.  Anyways, there are usually lots of other spaces and it is no big deal.  If someone needs to block someone else in for any reason, they leave their number on their windshield incase you want them to move it. In this case, not only was the person blocking my car in, but blocking a big portion of the way out of the lot.  I called the hariss, he went to the company.  A nice guy came down and agreed that it was "not nice thing to do" to block my car.  A while later, a woman came down, all full of attitude, flanked by 3 men.  WTF, did they think we were going to fist fight?  Did she bring her lawyers with her?  I apologized, she was haugthty and arrogant.  I told her, in a regulated tone with a smile, that regardless, I wouldn't block anyone the way she did to me - without a note, that it wasn't nice. Diva's boy-band back-up singers agreed with me - nodding in understanding and agreement.  There might be some reason why someone would need to park in the space.  She told me that I live in an Arabic speaking country and I should learn Arabic.  I told her she should learn who she is dealing with before instigating "unrest". You betta check yourself before you wreck yourself.   Perhapsee I shoulda just slammed it into reverse and jack up her circa 1990 Pontiac Grand Prix.  I just got in my car and had some words for her (although this time I didn't use dirty words), leaving her out there screeching, "What did she zay?  What did she zay?" ... guess she wanted more.  Perhapsee if it hadn't happened in the parking lot where I worked, I would have given her more (I need to at least try to keep outward appearances, n'est pas?)

(Insert here:  A million fantasies of what I COULD do in retaliation....  Fantasies of grabbing her by the garb and punching her lights out.  Fantasies of how her beater car would look after my rental 4X with full coverage insurance - and the ability of immediate replacement vehicle - repeatedly slammed into it.  Fantasies of a Louisville slugger going through her windshield. And, perhaps notsomuch a fantasy:  calling beloved wastah at the traffic department for the sudden appearance of traffic fines on her record...  Yada.  Elevated blood pressure.... anger, anger....rrrr. )

Southern Bedu told me that if it ever happens again, I should call the police:  They'll have the car towed and ticketed.  He also advised me that if anyone starts talking to me that way again, just to wave my hand, Kuwaiti-style and say, "En zain.  Yala!  Yalaaaaaa khalass!" ....Yeah, I shoulda.  Hindsight.  Sometimes the only way to out-diva a diva is by becoming a bigger diva.

So anyhoo, not a good way to start off the weekend.

Rude, Part Deux:

Several weeks ago, Sir Software invited everyone at a "dinner" at my house that night, to a party at his chalet in 2 weeks.  "Bring your friends."  So, we invited several friends and my friends invited several of their friends; busy people with demanding jobs/little to no down time,  people who schedule things during the free time that they have. Southern Bedu went out and bought swim trunks (he didn't have any). I packed gear and I almost bought beach chairs.   It was to have been this past Friday.  Thursday rolls around and SS isn't answering his phone or returning text messages.  None of the other gang members have heard from him... So, I texted friends who I invited and told them it was off.  SS is a friend of Pookey's and bless her heart, she tried to make ammends for him, but alas, there is just no excuse.  Game over.

Rude, Part Trois:

So we decide to get together with some friends on Friday night.  One of my friends really offended another friend and now everyone's feathers are ruffled. There has been a disturbance in the henhouse and there's a whole lot of clucking going on.  It is a delicate line for me to walk because I love both of them, but now I have a dilema because we get together every weekend and if it can't be smoothed over, I will have a hard time (yes, it's all about me again).  It happened in my home, so it is difficult...

And I know you are reading this but you just can't talk that way.  You can't.  It is not okay. 

The Aftermath:

So all this left me craving comfort foods.  I have had several blonde moments lately where I'll order food online, wait and wait for delivery; only to discover that I forgot to press the "Submit Order" key.  Hardees is 2 nanoseconds away from me, so it wasn't such a big deal and I finally got my hamburger (although I could only eat half).  I couldn't even sleep last night.  I'm feeling really restless today and discontented like I want to be someplace else far far away.  I have built a contented, quality lifestyle for myself and all of a sudden, I feel like it is under attack from bad energy and I need a retreat.  Maybe I need to whip out my crystals and sage and cleanse the house.

Good energy:  Southern Bedu has been my rock lately.  He brings me pink roses every week and "Okay" or "Yes" are his responses to just about any whims that I have (like home projects, shopping, etc.).  He's off to look at rental chalets so we can do our own thing.  I have seriously seriously had enough rudeness for a while and I very much appreciate his kindness. 

 Time to cash in that massage voucher that Spanx gave me (thanks girl!  I love you and miss you!)  I should also get into Harmony House (which is just a rock's toss from where I live) and do some meditating.  OOOOOOOOOOsaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Service is My Joy Program through Loyac

Re-posted from Mark's blog.

I think this is VERY important for young people - especially since there aren't a lot of programs for young people here and they can't get part time jobs in the afternoons.  Work or volunteering teaches you valuable life skills and I think they're both blessings for youth.

Loyac just kicked off registration for their “Service is My Joy” program. The program aims to bring young people to serve their community and draw smiles on the faces of others, through volunteering in various centers such as:

KACCH
Abeer 2
Down Syndrome Center
Kuwait Red Crescent
Kuwait Society for the Handicapped
Al-Kharafi Center
Foster Care Center
Elderly Care Center

Registration Terms:
- For youth of 15-27 years
- All nationalities are welcome

For registration and details contact:

Yusra Al Essa
Assistant Manager – Local Volunteering Programs

Telephone: +965 – 25727399 ext – 102
Email: servicemyjoy@loyac.org
Address: LoYAC – Bayt Lothan – Next to Marina Mall – Salmiya

You could also sign up online by clicking [Here]

Nairobi, Kuwait

Isn't it about time that Kuwait got serious about money laundering?  For as long as I've been here, there has been talk about "anti-corruption committees".  Let's form a committee to form a committee to form a committee.  Then, nothing has to be done about it. 

I love these political cartoons, Bu Qutada & Bu Nabil.  I'm glad that they're in English.  (From Alwatan Daily)  Sorry, I couldn't enlarge any more.

Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper

Along the lines of my previous GoGirl post...

As J (to be nicknamed later) says, "When you take care of your #1, you've gotta take care of your #2..."

The Bumper Dumper®
$69.95
Includes frame for
2x2 hitch receiver
and toilet seat

"Use in Disaster Relief, Hurricane and Earthquake preparedness, and other situations where a sanitation situation may occur."

 I DARE someone to drive around Kuwait with this on their car.

You GoGirl!

My mother gets a lot of old lady catalogs.  Baby boomers are gettin up there and they are fair game for retailers.  Well (disclaimer) she gets a gazillion catalogs because that's just another form of shopping and it is, of course, The Way of My People.

So this one particular old lady catalog has some fun and interesting items.  I guess the item below caught my eye because it's PINK.

Ladies!  When you are driving for miles through the desert to some of the "remote camps" - here is something just for YOU.  Desert camping this winter?  Little boat, no bathroom?  Can also be used to add engine oil.

Available from http://www.asweage.com/!  (They also have "as we age and don't have a partner anymore" products - cause everybody knows, the men die first.)

My friend just asked me if it is dishwasher safe.  That is just wrong.  ROFL!!!

Micknasuh Update

(Micknasuh is, according to reader, TisMe, the Arabic word for vacuum cleaner.)


This is what my
Wansa looks like.
Same color too.
19KD at Excite.


So this morning, I decided to use my new shiny red McNasuh to try it out.  HOLY SNAP!  OMG - the Wansa is way better than my Hoover was.  It almost chewed up a loose carpet through it's amazing sucking capability.  I LOVE IT.  It almost makes me wait in anticipation of a big dust storm (uh... noooooo).

I also had my outdoor lights installed last night (oh joy, oh happiness).  If anybody needs a referral for an electrician, I got a guy.  He took a long time, but did quality work and charged me next-to-nothing.

Tomorrow night I have a nail appointment.  (Why are you still reading this crap???)  I had a Shellac manicure in Virginia and I can't figure out how to get the stuff off.  Pookey told me that there are a few places around Kuwait that does it.  Let me tell you, girlfraynds, about Shalac.  It is the BEST.  It goes on like a regular nail polish, but lasts 2 weeks or more.  In fact, my nails have grown before the stuff wears off.  It comes right off with acetone, but I don't have any at home, so I'll just go get another manicure anyways.  It's way awesome.

Blood type OOOOOOOO

What blood group are you, and do you take it up the butt?

Arab Times
September 5, 2011
‘Indecent’ query: Scores of people — men and women, Kuwaitis and expatriates — are said to have expressed their dismay at the queries contained in the Blood Bank form which they have to answer prior to donating blood, reports Al-Mustaqbal daily.  It has been reported that donors are particularly embarrassed when it comes to answering the query No 30 pertaining to anal sex.  The daily added the Ministry of Health should test the samples of donated blood instead of making the donors answer embarrassing questions.
-end-


(Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished.)

Hey, BTW, this post has nothing to do with the title of the next post - incase you were wonding.  Perv.  It's not my fault you have a dirty mind.

Little things make me happy

I had a GREAT Eid break.  So great that I felt that I needed to be re-trained when I got back to work yesterday.  I've been in slow-mo (although, Stella, I am managing to eek out a little work.  Really.  Honest.)  Stella is on vacation and sounds like she is on a REAL one this time.  She sounds relaxed and happy (mashallah).

So, back to me, me, me....

Southern Bedu (I'm not liking his nickname and I may have to change it soon) spent the whole week with me and I didn't even get sick of him.  Not once. Usually by about the 3rd day, I am already sick of anybody around (not just a man) and want some alone-time.  Not this time:  We had a really nice holiday. 

The only time he left was when he went to visit his family for Eid.  I sent flowers for his mommy.  He said she probably woudn't like flowers.  (WHAT woman doesn't like flowers?)  Anyhoo, he came back happy - with a huge bouquet of pink roses for me too.

We went to a friend's chalet with Special K, Pookey (K wanted me to call her "Lolli" but that just doesn't fit her.  She's about the same height as Snooky, and twice as adorable and way more elegant/intelligent/upper class, yet equally as perky.  She's cute like a pookey-bear so there it is.  Pookey.) and the chalet owner, Sir Software (not to be confused with "softie").  I posted about this before.  Pookey is recently married to Emiril of the East and is quite happy.  Emiril never leaves work, so Pookey hangs out with us and other circles of fascinating and interesting people.

SB and I went boating with Special K, his brother, and BamaMan.  It was SB's first time on a boat and I wanted to buy him water wings before we left (he can't swim). I asked for a life preserver.  He makes me giggle.  He's just a big, happy guy; always up for an adventure and always flexible about everything.  We went to eat and get SB sheesha-fied at Marina Crescent.  He told me later that sheesha there is like 7kd.  That's CRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAZY.  Expensive dirty nasty habit.

We had dinner at Spanx's house one night and got to spend more quality time with Berkini and Spanx's inlaws who are visiting from the States. SB helped them get Berkini's birth certificate which, as anybody in the know knows, is a major pain in the butt sometimes - exspecially for foreigners.   SB arrived late because he stopped to buy sweets and blocked traffic (I don't want to say "typical Bedouin guy" but hey... if the shumakh fits....) and the cops stopped him.  Cop said, "You look younger now than you do in your license photo.  What happened?"  He said, "Divorce." (tee hee.)  We had a great time at Spanx's as usual.  I love her inlaws.  Great people.  Good times.  Spanx did NOT look like she had given birth 11 days before.  She is always pretty, but she really snapped back from being out-to-here pregnant in a jiffy.

Had lunch with SB, Pookey and Butterfly on the weekend at Muhallab.  Slaps has been bagging out a lot lately. Tsk tsk. 

My man, SB, is very good at home projects.  I'm liking this.  We went to Shuwaikh to buy outdoor light fixtures and ended up at Abyat.  If you haven't ever been there, you should really go.  I'm a girl who LOVES hardware stores (and not just for the mancandy) and this one is really good.  Plus, it also satisfies my girlieness with all the pretty things and linens.  It ain't cheap, mind you.  I plunked down 70kd for a duvet cover and 4 pillow cases, but heeeeeey, they're nicsche (big pink peonies).  Oh, anyhoo, so... we were looking for outdoor lights - which proved to be way too expensive at Abyat (and they didn't have exactly what I was looking for).  We went across Canada Dry Street (which is the extension of 3rd Ring Road by the by) and went to one of the small lighting stores and bought some.  Bada BING.

My big thrill was the vacuum cleaner, however.  If you read back on my old posts, you will know how I was on a happy-high for seveal weeks after the purchase of my 1400 watts of sucking power Hoover a few years ago.  I'm not a cheap vacuum cleaner kinda gal; even IF I don't use it and my maid does.  It has always gots to be an upright with some wattage.  So, years have gone by and after several attempts at fixing it (WTF DO maids do with vacuum cleaners - I wanna know), I set out in search of a new one; in my LEAST favorite place in Kuwait to shop - Hawalli. 

I don't go to Hawalli unless I really really really really have to.  I have to get all aggressive and drive jungly and put up with skanky-ass-mall-Joes leering at my butt while blowing smoke (ick, ick ew - cooties!!!).  They nas-teh.  It is one of the few remaining pockets in Kuwait where people still stare at foreign women as if we just walked off a porno set (regardless of how you look or how much you weigh or what you are wearing). It's like they're saving the mental picture for later if you know what I mean.    (Desert Girl, tell us how you really feel about Hawalli....)  Anyhoo, I did NOT want to go there, but I did.  And I'm glad.  Only because of my outstanding purchase.

Now, there are Excite stores all over Kuwait and why the F wouldn't I just check in one of those first, eh?  Who knows how my mind works.  As fate would have it, I pulled right up and got a parking space right in front of the door.  Mashallah, I always amaze with my parkma.  First thing I notice is the chocolate fountain in the adjacent electronics store, Wazzan.  (Now, who in their right mind would put a small appliance store right next to the gynormous, variety-packed Excite?  Why is that the norm in Kuwait?  You find clusters of same-item stores together.  That's just dumb.)  Ok, first things first:  Vacuum cleaner. 

So, The Romanian and I swooped into Excite into a gaggle of blue-shirted, staring men, who I can only assume are there just to look at you funny and apply copious amounts of hair gel during their breaks (or not).  Other than that, they're about as useful as tits on a bull.  (Back to my story. Yes, again.)  So, I have been thinking of buying a cute little phone for the longest time now and I was almost there to buy it.  Dumb hairgel blue shirt (I don't want to say 'salesman' because that implies 1. knowledge and 2. salesmenship) showed me the phone, and flipped it open; told me how much it costs after discount.  I said I would take it.  DHBS told me they were out of stock.  Now, why the F would you go through all that when the first thing you could say was, "That's out of stock, but we can get you one."  DHBS! 

I hate shopping at Alghanim stores on principal and I will take a moment now to discuss why.
 Alghanim stores MUST employ about 1,000 workers each because there is a menial task for everyone:  paper stampers, security guards roaming about for no apparent reason, people who are supposed to be salesmen, but are really just zombies with hair gel.  If you buy anything - from 1kd to 10,000, you have to get an A4 sized invoice with your name and contact details on it.  And, similar to most ministries in Kuwait, it must be stamped.  Twice.  In order to even get that peice of paper, you have to be in the right department.  Same store, multiple departments.  Now, if you like say cosmetic body scrubs, you have to pay for that at a different department than the linen items you have in your other hand (about 100 feet away from each other).  To buy linens, you have to go over and wait in line with about 40 other people being helped one at a time (although there are SIX - count em) "salespeople" behind the counter, staring at the floor to avoid making eye contact with customers, God forbid. Oh, and yes, they do make buying on credit VERY easy, but just go there and try to make a payment.  No one who works there knows where to send you.  You may end up (like me) in the wrong place, standing in line after taking a number to get yet another A4 sized piece of paper - stamped TWICE.  Have they never heard of online payment systems?  Seems like they have a lot of money invested in A4 paper; maybe they should look at better IT.  Why do I continue to shop there?  Well, they really do have nice items and it is a SHAME that they have (what must be) such horrible operational management processes.

Anyways, no one understood what either "vacuum cleaner" or "Hoover" meant, so in International Sign Language, I had to make the motions of actually using one while simultaneously making a bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz noise.  They laughed.  It suddenly occurred to me that maybe they thought I was simulating a vibrating device.  Bygones.   They pointed towards the down escallator.  We went downstairs and into the corner where The Gorgeous, Sparkly Upright was!  Ok, so it is a Wansa (usually said with contempt by locals because it is made in China - as IF everyting in America and elsewhere is not), but I got a 3 year warranty for 3kd extra.  I forget how much the regular price is - I think around 50kd.  Nice knowlegeable English Speaking Salesman told me that it was discounted to 30kd.  Then he checked the computer and (insert harp music playing and angels singing here) it was further discounted to TWENTY KD!  Holy SNAP!  And did I mention it is red and shiny - just like a new Corvette?  Fassssssssssssscinating.   

So, on the way out, I stopped back at the Wazzan shop to buy the chocolate fountain.  It is part of their Disney appliance line.  If I had seen another chocolate fountain anywhere else (and please write to me and tell me if you have seen one), I would have bought it.  I don't like this toy-like appliance much.  For one thing, it has Mickey Mouse feet.  For another thing, the service was so God-awful autrocious that I shoulda just walked out (but I kept picturing strawberry skewers covered in Herseys and I couldn't stop myself).  RUDE rude rude people work there. 

On the way out of the jungle (Hawalli), we almost got in 2 accidents with people cutting in front of us. Jungly.  I swearaGod, I just want to buy a bigass junker of a car - something like a 1980 Yukon or the likes - and drive around crashing into frickin IDIOTS in little white crap cars.  That too would make me so happy.  Little things, right?

City of Life

I saw this movie last night on OSN.  REALLY well done (even if it is somewhat like "Crash")!  It has several story lines going on at the same time and they all come together.  Many of the social aspects of the movie (filmed in and about Dubai) also pertain to what is happening in Kuwait. It is slow in places, but worth the wait.  The movie isn't "in your face" and is refreshingly subtle.   Watch it if you get the chance.

Cute

Caterer who can FOLLOW American recipes?

My friend, Flyboy, is looking for a caterer to work his annual Thanksgiving fete.  He and his wife usually spend 2 days cooking for around 20 people.  This year, he would like to give someone his recipes and pay them to cater.  The kicker is that the caterer actually has to STICK TO the recipes.

(...and then, I'll sneak in my own recipes, pay the caterer, and pretend that I made them.  Hehee.)

We wouldn't want Flyboy's Thanksgiving to include "stuffing log" (WTF is a stuffing log???) as the Crowne Plaza has mistakenly made for American palates in the past.  (Also, CP, Asian noodle salad is NOT one of our staple T-day sides!)

Anybody know anybody?  Write to me:  amerab@gmail.com

Traditions

Several of my girlfriends have gynormous engagement rings.  My sister has one that you can see from space.

So, since Southern Bedu has asked, we started discussing traditions.  Special K has just gone through the engagement process and got a ring for his fiance, so I suggested that SB have a chat with him.  Southern comes back with, "You live in Kuwait.  It isn't our tradition to get a big ring."

Oh.No.He.Di'int. 

I stop. I pause.  I smile.

'Do you really want to go there?'
(SB:  deer-in-the-headlights look) 
'Ok, let's do this Kuwaiti style.  I want a big mahar (dowry) and chabka (jewel encrusted 3 piece gold jewelry set given at the wedding) and a wedding at the Sheraton and dresses and a car and....' 

He's like, "Okay! Okay!  You'll get the ring."

Good boy.

We don't know when and details and all that.  I would like to stay engaged for like 5 years because when it comes down to it, I get nerves and would rather not think that far ahead.  Eeek.

I'm back; now what?

'tay, so I haven't written in a while.  I am usually depressed for a while after I return from the States and I'm in no mood for anything. Special K reminded me that I should do my civic duty and provide an update.  So here goes.

I had a great time in the States - Laughed a lot, ate a lot, didn't drink much (as you know, I go there to dry out/rehab), and basically had a great time with my family.  It was one of those non-productive trips.  I didn't accomplish anything and unfortunately, I didn't get around to see many of my friends.  I was just happy being with my sisters, their families, and of course my moms.  It was a relaxing trip.

I've been back for a week now (as of yesterday).  It feels like I've been back for about 6 months.

While in the States, Pretty Girl was making her journey to the States to be a foreign exchange student through the YES Program and was going through Dulles.  So moms and I met her at the airport and welcomed her to the land of our people.

Pretty Girl is there on the  Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study (YES) Program. There were about  30 kids in all from Kuwait.  "AMIDEAST is one of five organizations that administer a component of the Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study (YES) Program. This U.S. Department of State-funded scholarship program provides secondary school students in 39 countries spanning throughout the Middle East, Africa, South/Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe and South America, the opportunity to live and study in the United States for a full academic year."  It is a great program and open to students of all nationalities and Bedoon (stateless/no nationality).

Anyhoo, she was coming into Washington for a 3-day orientation before travelling on to California to meet up with her host family.  Cali - of all places!  Girlfriend lucked out.  At the airport, she was so excited and bubbly and was so cute. My mom immediately fell in love with her and understood why I have been talking about her (and her brother and sisters) for the past years.  I'm so proud of her.  I would say that The Man's major life accomplishment has been raising outstanding, well-mannered, compassionate, intelligent and kind children. 

Whatup with the weather on the East Coast?  The night before PG arrived, we had the WORST thunder/lightning storm I've seen in the DC area. There was even some hail added. In the middle of the night, the thunder shook my bed.  After I left, there was a 5.8 earthquake which freaked everybody out, but didn't cause any damage.  Now, there is a Category 1 hurricane going on.  WTF.  My mom is worried that her house is going to slide into the lake.  I'm calling her every night (new Vonage!  Wooo hooo) to make sure she's still there.

Now, on to something much more important...

This trip, I managed to shop more than I think I ever have before.  Before, I brought a lot of gifts for other people. This time, it was all about me me me and my dog!  I only bought 2 pairs of shoes, though.  I'm very proud that I didn't go beyond that. For some reason, this time I bought dresses (and I almost never wear dresses, but they are so pretty and I'm going to try to wear them more often).   I also bought a Magic Jack (only $40) and a Vonage box, so I can call my family for next-to-nothing.  (I'm so sick of Zain - I can't even tell you.  Why can't they put an itemized phone bill online?  Why the F is it so hard?  Please - explain to me why I'm paying 100KD a month on my phone bill!)

The luggage weigh-in:   I had three 50 pound suitcases, 2 boxes shipped to a friends APO, and one Aramex box (which still hasn't arrived yet - THANKS Aramex).  United has changed it's baggage policy, but it really doesn't affect me very much.  Previously, you were allowed two, 50 pound bags at no charge and each additional bag was $250.  Now, you are only allowed one bag; the 2nd bag is $70; and the 3rd bag is $200.  So, in my mind, I am only paying an additional $20.  No biggie.

Our flight was delayed 4 and a half hours because there was something wrong with the bathrooms.  Dayam.  Nobody complained and I actually had a good flight.  When I arrived in Kuwait, Southern Bedu was to pick me up and made the ENORMOUS mistake of parking curbside and expecting me to go outside to find him - like I'm a khadama or something.  As IF.  Yeh.  He made a few more little mistakes after that and I sent him home.  Puhleeze!  I'm gone for a month and I need to re-train.  I hate the re-training.  This is part of the reason why I stayed in a dead-end relationship for 5 years:  He knew what I wanted and how to accomplish it. No training.  No fuss.  No muss.  Just did it.  (Okay until he royally F-ed up and that was it. --- Bygones.)

I'm back in Kuwait and the very next day, Spanx delivers her baby girl (hereby referred to as Berkini). It was like a welcome home gift to me.  (That's right, me, me, me...) She's so cute and small and (I love you, Spanx) too damn much work for me.  I've decided I'm way too selfish to ever have a baby.  Just can't do it.  I admire people like Spanx and hubby who can do it;  I don't know how.  I just don't even want to think about it because it is making me tired.  All that crying and cleaning up and waking up and feeding.  No no no.  (I think I need to lay down now.)  Anyhoo, Berkini is adoreable and I get to visit and buy cute baby clothes and I don't have to do any work.  Good deal there.  I do wish that Spanx would learn to Kuwaiti-fy a little and get a nanny so that she could have some down time. 

I'm having an "empathetic Ramadan".  I'm not fasting and yet I'm tired and hungry all the time.  Whatup with that?  Slapperella said the same thing.  I guess we are just picking up vibes from other people.

Southern Bedu doesn't fast because he's on meds for epilepsy.  Hey, BTW:  does anyone know any epilepsy centers or support groups in Kuwait?  I don't have much information about it and neither does SB.  I would like to learn more. I hope he spends some time with his family during Eid.  Dude spends all his time with me; which is great and I am NOT complaining.  I just want him to be happy and spend a little time with his people.  Aint that a thang:  I used to worry that I wouldn't get to spend time during Eid and Ramadan with The Man.  That is just such a non-issue now and it is so natural that SB and I spend time together.  Of course we would; that's what normal couples do.  I can't believe how much has changed in such a short amount of time.  Mashallah.

Anyhoo, most of our friends aren't fasting either.  I've found a support group of naughty people and we've formed a club.  Well hey - there isn't much to DO during Ramadan since they closed all the tents and took away all the fun of it.  I refuse to pay astronomical prices at stupid restaurants that are price-gouging during the month.  It seems like a lot of people in Kuwait have caught onto that game as well.  We used to go out for iftar, but not anymore.  (Not like we have real reason to, but sometimes you just want to go out.)

So this weekend, we got together with friends and went to one of the guys' chalets in Bnaider.  Much fun.  Somebody asked me if I am a teacher.  Now, why the F do Kuwaitis still assume that I'm a teacher?  Dude is an Ivy League graduate and heads up a group of companies.  I don't believe he was saying it to be insulting.  Nothing wrong with being a teacher, but don't ASSume that just because I'm a foreign woman, I'm a teacher. That is so 80's old-school Kuwaiti.   How about just asking what I do.  Is it THAT hard?  Dayam.  I guess education has nothing to do with stereotyping.  (He's a nice guy, so I didn't bite his head off.)

I did get the opportunity to bitchslap Special K this weekend and it was most gratifying.  Supposedly, he didn't actually hang up on me, but the call dropped (twice -- right after he told me and SB what he wanted from the jameeya).   Since it was a recurring theme, I thought he hung up on us.  Anyhow, in any case, NOT a koshable offense, but good excuse to bitchslap K (since I had the Chappelle skit of Rick James/Charley Murphy in my head).  "Charley Murphy!  What did the five fingers say to the face?  SMACK!"   I think Special K actually liked it (which made it kind of gross and disappointing).  Southern Bedu was upset that he didn't get to see it (was on the other side of the car).  Tee hee.  Sorry, K, but you know what; you were worried about me not being "myself" these days and now you have it.  BAM! - back to myself.  Celebrate, bitches!

Counterfeit

Listen to this shet.... (or read maybe not listen, eh?)

I went to my regular bank where I've had an account for the past 20+ years (Yep, I'm 29.  My parents must have opened it, right).  I withdrew a bunch of money - all in $100 notes.  I then went to my mother's bank to deposit it into her account. 

They told me that they were confescating one of the $100 notes because it was COUNTERFEIT.  They looked at me hinky; kinda sideways and shifty like I was trying to pull one over on them.  You know the look - like the one your mother gives you when she thinks you've done something wrong. 

What The Pluck????  Desert Girl is NOT a counterfeiter (nor an international spy - truth be told).

They just took the money and changed the amount on my deposit slip.  I was at the drive-thru window and at first, I just drove away.  Then I went back inside and told them, "I wouldn't be so pissed off if Joe Shmuck just handed me a counterfeit bill, but a BANK?" (bank #1).   They gave me a report, but said there was nothing they could do.  They also showed me the bill and showed me how I could tell the difference.  (At that point, I believe I sufficiently revealed my innocence and they felt pity on me.)

I call my bank.  They said they couldn't check "every bill" to ensure authenticity.  Whaaaaat?  Dude, youse check every large bill that is deposited - what about the ones that are withdrawn?  I spoke to some bambi who said that the manager was "off site" and would call me back.

She did - a few hours later.  She was really really nice and I apologized for wigging out on Bambi.  She said she would have done the same.  Me said that I have the report and the serial number.  Manager Lady said she would see what she could do.

Next time, Je is going to ask for ten notes  instead of hundreds.  Maybe even one dollar bills.  Funk dat.

So bank #2 told me that counterfeiters sometimes wash out $5 notes and then re-print $100's over them.  The bastards.

I'm down $100.  Obviously, I caught ahold of somebody's bad juju.  Not good.  That's my luck.  Aint that some shet?

Beach Stuff