I am poor from my vacation and excessive overspending, but I wanted to do right by a friend who I like very much and was very kind to me on my birthday and sent an enormous bouquet of flowers.
She's such a sweet person and just exudes warmth: She comes from a family known for their kindness and generosity. She kind of reminds me of Princess Diana in a way; someone who from the outside seems to have it all, but with an air of sadness around her. My friend is beautiful (probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in person - although I doubt that she knows she is), intelligent, and (probably) has all the material things that she could possibly ever want. I always feel that she is sad and I want to do things to make her happy. Sometimes I just get a feeling out of the blue that I should call her or cheer her up in some way - and I try to whenever I hear that little voice.
Anyhoo, so I went to my usual favorite flower shop, Ribbon Flowers, in Salmiya -- which isn't anything like Al Jarra or any of the larger, more expensive places in town -- but they do an outstanding job with arrangements and have been very nice to me over the years. On the way into the shop, there was a Kuwaiti young man (14-15) who walked in behind me and held the door for me. I went to the counter and my usual shop guy, Mohammed, wasn't there (on vacation) but the Kuwaiti owner was. I told him what I wanted, but then he turned to the young man in Arabic and asked how he could help him. He said that he was looking for a bouquet for his mother's birthday, but that the man should help me first.
I was totally impressed by this kid's manners. He reminded me of my nephew, Alex: Not only because Alex has great manners, but because it is the type of thing he would do for my sister for her birthday - buying her favorite flowers. It made me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy. (It also made me miss Alex - a LOT.)
So, I ordered my bouquet and was trying to explain to the shop guys the directions to my friend's house. I struggled to remember the words in Arabic (it was a long day - a 1 hour walk followed by 40 minutes of Hip Hop Abs and my mind is feeble) and the young man looked at me with surprise and said, "Oh! You are sending flowers to my mother!" and went on to explain the exact directions to his house!
"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world...." (Casablanca quote, not Fall Out Boy lyric!)
Isn't that amazing? How many flower shops are there in Kuwait? What are the chances of being in that very shop at the same time as my friend's son?
When I told the shop guy about what flowers I wanted in the bouquet, the young man said, "Get purple. She loves purple."
I love this story. I just feel like it is some kind of a sign from God - but I don't know what it means. I told the young man how much I like his mother and how I had heard her talk about him. What a nice boy! How lucky she is to have a son like that. As thoughtful as he is, he is going to make someone a fine husband one day.
He, as a teenager, probably thought I was an ab-so-lute nutjob; smiling and carrying on the way I did, waving as I left; but it was such a strange and nice experience. It was 5 minutes of sheer, ironic happiness.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Kuwait: Swimming in Sewage
Ever wondered what you might be swimming in? Ever notice those big pipes that empty into the Gulf?
Does your neighborhood smell like shit all of a sudden? Wonder why?
NOW you have your answer....
Al-Watan, KUWAIT: A looming disaster of a great magnitude is about to strike the Gulf (Jon AlـKuwait), which has been receiving unprocessed sewage from the Mishref pumping station. The station is being operated with just three pumps as 13 pumps are out of service due to the unprecedented pollution with the sewage level rising to such a dangerous level that it could have caused the explosion at the station. In the face of this, the Ministry of Public Works has no option but to divert the sewage to the sea through the rain drainage networks. The ministry, later on, announced that the station had collapsed completely and that it was being fixed.Sources close to the ministry intimated that the repair process will not be completed for another two months at least during which time the sewage from all areas will be diverted to the sea, adding that the station can only pump 340,000 liters during peak hours. The sources went on to warn that the mishap will equally affect the sewage distillation station in Sulaibiya.The sources further attributed this problem to indecisiveness on the part of the concerned officials to fix the mishaps since months, which added pressure on the three functioning pumps.
---
Swine flu? Who cares? Rain drainage networks are all over Kuwait and soon - whatever everybody else in Kuwait has, you'll have too! Breathe deeply Kuwait. Yummmmm
Kuwait, "indecisive"? Really?
Does your neighborhood smell like shit all of a sudden? Wonder why?
NOW you have your answer....
Al-Watan, KUWAIT: A looming disaster of a great magnitude is about to strike the Gulf (Jon AlـKuwait), which has been receiving unprocessed sewage from the Mishref pumping station. The station is being operated with just three pumps as 13 pumps are out of service due to the unprecedented pollution with the sewage level rising to such a dangerous level that it could have caused the explosion at the station. In the face of this, the Ministry of Public Works has no option but to divert the sewage to the sea through the rain drainage networks. The ministry, later on, announced that the station had collapsed completely and that it was being fixed.Sources close to the ministry intimated that the repair process will not be completed for another two months at least during which time the sewage from all areas will be diverted to the sea, adding that the station can only pump 340,000 liters during peak hours. The sources went on to warn that the mishap will equally affect the sewage distillation station in Sulaibiya.The sources further attributed this problem to indecisiveness on the part of the concerned officials to fix the mishaps since months, which added pressure on the three functioning pumps.
---
Swine flu? Who cares? Rain drainage networks are all over Kuwait and soon - whatever everybody else in Kuwait has, you'll have too! Breathe deeply Kuwait. Yummmmm
Kuwait, "indecisive"? Really?
KD 100 fine, one month prison for public eating, drinking
Ooops there it is...
Kuwait Times, Published Date: August 21, 2009 KUWAIT: The Ministry of Interior (MoI) has completed its preparations for the enforcement of its special security and traffic plan incorporating measures to be implemented during the holy month of Ramadan. The security plan was put into place at the instructions of interior minister Sheikh Jaber Al-Khaled Al-Sabah, said Hashem Al-Sabr, the MoI's spokesman and manager of the ministry's Media and Security Department.
Kuwait Times, Published Date: August 21, 2009 KUWAIT: The Ministry of Interior (MoI) has completed its preparations for the enforcement of its special security and traffic plan incorporating measures to be implemented during the holy month of Ramadan. The security plan was put into place at the instructions of interior minister Sheikh Jaber Al-Khaled Al-Sabah, said Hashem Al-Sabr, the MoI's spokesman and manager of the ministry's Media and Security Department.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Irony
Someone sent me this yesterday and it's profound, isn't it?
"Hundreds of people get swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. Millions of people get AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom."
"Hundreds of people get swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. Millions of people get AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom."
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Trouble calling mobile lines from the US
When I was in Virginia, I tried many times to call friends in Kuwait on their mobile phones (Zain, Wataniya, and Viva) and I had a lot of problems. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this lately?
My mom says that every time she calls my mobile phone number, she is randomly connected to other cell phone numbers (sometimes some guy saying, "aaaaalooooo"). This also happened to me when I tried from Virginia.
When I tried to call Kuwait from my Kuwait mobile line while in the US, I almost never got through either. And - with the roaming, it picked up several different networks like AT&T, and T Mobile.
This is really upsetting to me because I'm using my mobile number as my primary phone at home (don't have a land line yet). What if there is an emergency?
My mom says that every time she calls my mobile phone number, she is randomly connected to other cell phone numbers (sometimes some guy saying, "aaaaalooooo"). This also happened to me when I tried from Virginia.
When I tried to call Kuwait from my Kuwait mobile line while in the US, I almost never got through either. And - with the roaming, it picked up several different networks like AT&T, and T Mobile.
This is really upsetting to me because I'm using my mobile number as my primary phone at home (don't have a land line yet). What if there is an emergency?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tang Chao - Playground for Brats
Last night, I went to Tang Chao restaurant in the Holiday Inn in Salmiya. I haven't been to the hotel in a while - mainly because our usual haunt is the Crowne Plaza. I used to go to Tang Chao a lot when they first opened. The food and service were both fantastic, but the menu was limited. Fortunately now, they have added to the menu.
Unfortunately, the hotel was like a playground: children running through the lobby AND the restaurant screaming and disturbing guests. No one seemed to even bat an eye. When I'm going out and paying for an elegant meal in an elegant surrounding, I want an elegant atmosphere. If I wanted to be surrounded by screaming brats, I would have gone to Burger King on Blaajat with the big playroom. It was ridiculous! The only thing missing from the pre-school atmosphere was the dancing chicken.
The manager finally came over and told us that he couldn't do anything about it. Ummmm... yes you can; you're the manager. Close the main door, ask the parents to keep an eye on their kids - something. It was so loud that we couldn't even talk. "Management" means managing. Manage the situation. Do SOMETHING. And if a guest complains, make SOME kind of ammends.
Low class people should stay on the jakhoor. Why do they have to punish decent people with their poor manners? Sorry, I don't buy into the "Let them be children..." philosophy of child rearing. Obnoxious, bad mannered, poorly disciplined children turn into arrogant, obnoxious, bad mannered adults. If you want evidence of this, there is plenty of it around.
So, from now on, if I want an elegant Chinese meal; it is the Peacock in the Radisson - all the way. Tang Chao a la Romper Room doesn't get my vote.
Unfortunately, the hotel was like a playground: children running through the lobby AND the restaurant screaming and disturbing guests. No one seemed to even bat an eye. When I'm going out and paying for an elegant meal in an elegant surrounding, I want an elegant atmosphere. If I wanted to be surrounded by screaming brats, I would have gone to Burger King on Blaajat with the big playroom. It was ridiculous! The only thing missing from the pre-school atmosphere was the dancing chicken.
The manager finally came over and told us that he couldn't do anything about it. Ummmm... yes you can; you're the manager. Close the main door, ask the parents to keep an eye on their kids - something. It was so loud that we couldn't even talk. "Management" means managing. Manage the situation. Do SOMETHING. And if a guest complains, make SOME kind of ammends.
Low class people should stay on the jakhoor. Why do they have to punish decent people with their poor manners? Sorry, I don't buy into the "Let them be children..." philosophy of child rearing. Obnoxious, bad mannered, poorly disciplined children turn into arrogant, obnoxious, bad mannered adults. If you want evidence of this, there is plenty of it around.
So, from now on, if I want an elegant Chinese meal; it is the Peacock in the Radisson - all the way. Tang Chao a la Romper Room doesn't get my vote.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Give me my damn HAMburger!!
Are people that stupid that they had to change the name from HAMburger to BEEFburger? There is no ham (pork) in a hamburger! WTF?! And if there is a stamp on it that it is halal, isn't it a given that hey - there's no pork in it?
According to Wikipedia, the HAMburger was first invented in Hamburg, New York, USABAYBEE. There are several other legends about the origin of the HAMburger, but they all relate to BEEF. Of course, illiterate folks who believe that there is ham in hamburgers probably don't read or do research anyways, so the reference is rhetorical.
Maybe McDonald's made the change a while ago - I dunno; it has been a long time since I've actually eaten a HAMburger in McDonald's. This stupidity has PROVOKED me into posting about it. How retarded. I think I'm going to go mess with them now:
(Desert Girl goes through the McDonald's drive thru...)
'You gave me a beefburger. I ordered a HAMburger.'
"Nooo, sor-ree ma-dam, but it is the same thing."
'Yeah, but I wanted ham in my hamburger and you just gave me beef. That's not right. I want a hamburger....'
(McD staff: blank look, open mouth)
(Yes, I need a life. Shut UP!)
Well, I guess it isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard: like changing "zipcode" to "postal code" just to ensure that no one felt that their penis was being coded. (I have a code for that, but I'm not telling what it is.)
Hey, let's change all the non-acoholic beer to "malt beverages". I think some manufacturers (maybe Barbican?) are already doing this.
Let's go a step further: nachos. (Translates to "They are having intercourse"). That could be turned into "baked Mexican style corn chips". Regardless, I will always say "nachos" loudly and proudly.
Now I will spend the rest of my day trying to think of more funny words they should change to something else - as not to offend anyone. And I thought the US was the most PC country! Yeh!
ZIPpidy doo da, ZIPpity ae. My oh my what a wonderful day....
This in from a reader (THANKS!)
Confusion between English and American English -- a genuine anecdote:
Two soldiers, an American and a British soldier, are outside smoking and chatting, until the British solider has finished his cigarette and, in the absence of a litter bin, asks the American "what should I do with my fag butt?" - and met with a rather concerned and puzzled look from the American.
Monday, August 17, 2009
More info on the Jahra Fire
The Kuwait Times today reports:
'Scorned' woman unleashed fury
Published Date: August 17, 2009 By B Izzak and Hanan Al-Saadoun, Staff Writer
http://www.kuwaittimes.net/read_news.php?newsid=ODQyNDMyMjM1KUWAIT: A woman confessed yesterday to setting a wedding tent on fire in Jahra late on Saturday that killed 41 women and children and injured dozens others, some with critical burns. Sources said the suspect, who is the first wife of the bridegroom, was arrested after some maids claimed that they witnessed the woman setting the tent on fire with the help of kerosene-soaked rags. The bride escaped uninjured, but her mother and sister were killed, the sources added.
Meanwhile, the Amiri Diwan said yesterday that HH the Amir Sheikh Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Sabah will not accept greetings on the occasion of the holy month of Ramadan in solidarity with the victims of the Jahra blaze. He also expressed his deepest sympathy with the victims and their families and ordered that every possible help should be given to the families. The Amir later chaired an extraordinary meeting of the Cabinet to discuss the fire incident. The Cabinet formed an inquiry committee headed by State Minister for Cabinet Affairs Roudhan Al-Roudhan to evaluate the incident, rescue operations and regulations needed to prevent such incidents from reoccurring.The Interior Ministry had earlier called on citizens not to erect tents in residential areas because that will obstruct rescue operations in case of emergencies. The ministry also set up a hotline for relatives of victims to make inquiries. The ministry also asked the families of victims to identify the bodies of the victims at the forensics department.
MPs meanwhile demanded an investigation into what they called government failure to respond quickly with some charging that the fatal incident showed that the government has no clear contingency plans. HH the Amir, the crown prince and the prime minister sent cables of condolences to the relatives of the victims, and the prime minister visited the wounded people at hospitals and assured that the government will take every necessary measure to provide all medical care to them.Head of the fire department General Jassem Al-Mansouri said that six of the victims were children and authorities had difficulty in identifying some of the totally charred bodies. He said the fire killed the 41 women and children in just three minutes, leaving behind shoes melted to the ground and bodies so blackened they were unrecognizable. Guests likely crushed one another in a desperate attempt to flee through the only exit, he said, adding that there were between 150 and 180 women and children insideat the time. The devastating fire was likely to result in restrictions on the tradition of holding celebrations in such tents, a custom which is rooted in Kuwait's nomadic heritage and endures in tribal areas of the country.It was a horrific scene with bodies and many shoes stuck to the ground at the only exit. They must have trampled over one another," Mansouri said. Authorities were using DNA tests to identify the 35 women and six children killed.
He expected tighter restrictions on the use of such tents. "There will certainly be a decision to ban the use of tents without written permission," he said. That would ensure that authorities are aware of events and able to check tents for safety features, he said.Some observers described the fire as the worst tragedy in Kuwait's modern history. Director of Jahra hospital Abdulaziz Al-Farhoud said that 90 people have been wounded in the blaze, some in critical condition with severe burns. He said 21 of the wounded women were sent to Babtain Burns Center for advanced treatment. A number of the wounded are still in intensive care units at several hospitals, Farhoud said.
.... called for holding accountable those responsible for any failure and urged the government to take the necessary measures to prevent fires at wedding parties from happening again.
... The fire left behind blackened mounds of chairs and tables burnt down to their metal frames, as well as food trays and charred air conditioners.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
45 MORE Women Die in Jahra Wedding Tent Fire
This is the 2nd such tragedy in the past 6 months - both times in Jahra. This one made headlines on CNN. LINK Perhaps now - to save face - the government will do something. Usually, things get done around here as soon as there is global bad press.
What I don't get is this: While authorities spend time raiding "immoral" flats across Kuwait, and in recent years, breaking up parties at tents in the desert; tragedies like this continue to occur.
If some of those same authorities spent time checking for safety measures at mass tent gatherings like weddings, maybe so many people wouldn't die or be horrifically maimed. Perhaps these fires happen at men's tents as well, but maybe the men are better equipped to escape (?) Kuwait: Land without statistics. I don't know.
Tents in Kuwait are made of cotton, not flame retardant material. That means one little spark - regardless of the ignition point - and the whole thing goes up in minutes.
Personally, I think that the next time I go to any big event in a tent, I'm taking a long, sharp knife with me. Maybe that's what they should do - keep knives in glass cases as they do with the pull fire alarms: "break in case of emergency".
The paper said that there were fire extinguishers, but maybe people didn't know where they were or how to use them. Personally, I've NEVER seen a tent in Kuwait equipped with a fire extinguisher; I've seen a lot more with open flames and some even with charcoal fires in them or dodgy space heaters.
Why can't the wedding tents be made to code: Smoke detectors? Flame retardant materials? Lit marking for emergency exits? Hotel banquet halls must conform to fire and safety requirements - why not wedding tents?
Its so sad and so PREVENTABLE. My thoughts go out to the families who have lost or injured mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins...
What I don't get is this: While authorities spend time raiding "immoral" flats across Kuwait, and in recent years, breaking up parties at tents in the desert; tragedies like this continue to occur.
If some of those same authorities spent time checking for safety measures at mass tent gatherings like weddings, maybe so many people wouldn't die or be horrifically maimed. Perhaps these fires happen at men's tents as well, but maybe the men are better equipped to escape (?) Kuwait: Land without statistics. I don't know.
Tents in Kuwait are made of cotton, not flame retardant material. That means one little spark - regardless of the ignition point - and the whole thing goes up in minutes.
Personally, I think that the next time I go to any big event in a tent, I'm taking a long, sharp knife with me. Maybe that's what they should do - keep knives in glass cases as they do with the pull fire alarms: "break in case of emergency".
The paper said that there were fire extinguishers, but maybe people didn't know where they were or how to use them. Personally, I've NEVER seen a tent in Kuwait equipped with a fire extinguisher; I've seen a lot more with open flames and some even with charcoal fires in them or dodgy space heaters.
Why can't the wedding tents be made to code: Smoke detectors? Flame retardant materials? Lit marking for emergency exits? Hotel banquet halls must conform to fire and safety requirements - why not wedding tents?
Its so sad and so PREVENTABLE. My thoughts go out to the families who have lost or injured mothers, sisters, aunts, cousins...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
DG Ramadan Advice
Disclaimer: This is my personal advice. You can put your own advice on your own blog. I don't want to hear from haters saying, "You stupid foreigner! Why don't you go back to your own country if you disrespect ours." Ok - to that I say, 'Dudes - I love this country and none of what I am about to say is meant with disrespect, nor is it anything that many of you dudes don't already do, know about and/or discuss.' So there.
For those of you just getting off the banana boat, some DG words of advice on Ramadan in Kuwait. I don't know why companies and other Westerners try to freak out newbies to the Middle East on Ramadan. I love it. It is like an entire month of mass spiritualism and the happy atmosphere that surrounds it (ok, maybe not if you are in traffic with many smokers in the middle of a nicotine crisis during 110 degree weather, however). I guess it is all about attitude. Plus, work hours are shortened and there are all kinds of yummy Ramadan foods around. Newbies - get out there and try some! Ramadan isn't about the woes of not being able to eat for a month for fear of getting in trouble; nor for the dread of horrible drivers on the road. There is so much more to it.
What NOT to do: Attention Newbies! Do not: Eat, drink, chew gum, chew tobacco, pop a tic-tac, smoke or kiss in public (which is illegal in Kuwait anyhoo) during daylight hours.
Do not go grocery shopping during the 3-4 days prior to Ramadan (2014: June 28/29 - July 28/29 - depending on da moon). It is vicious-scary as everyone tries to stock up on food. I have seen people push down pregnant women trying to get into the check-out line.
Office Etiquette: If you are working with those who are fasting (most offices in Kuwait), get the "lay of the land"/ask co-workers what’s cool and what isn’t - before trying to sneak something to eat or drink in your office. One of my colleagues keeps a big thermos of coffee in his office and draws the shades. Don't smoke in your office - that's just dumb and might get you in trouble. People can smell smoke (duuh) and might report it to someone. If you are working on base, of course, military rules apply.
How to tell if a Kuwaiti isn't fasting: They are standing at the hot food (take-away) counter at Sultan Center at noon. You are allowed go give knowing glances and/or giggle. Almost all the Kuwaitis I know fast, but then, I do know others who don't.
How can you tell when it is "ok" to eat/drink? You have to be sure that it is after sunset because even if it is a few minutes before, you could potentially still get in trouble with the law. Right around sunset, you will hear the call to prayer. If you are tuned to any Kuwaiti radio or TV station, they will broadcast the call to prayer and then it is ok to eat. If you are sitting in a restaurant and think that it is sunset, wait first to see if other people start eating.
Note that if you order food prior to sunset, you will be in for a long wait. Ditto on the take-out as you are going to have to wait in line with a lot of other people picking up food for their families (modern day lifestyles).
What happens if you get caught by the po-po eating/drinking/smoking/chewing gum, etc during the day? They wisk you away to jail where you will remain until the end of Ramadan. Good times. What you might try to do this year is start coughing and spewing flem violently if caught. Tell them that you have just travelled to Mexico and you are starting to develop a fever, rash, and fits of vomiting, "Is it just me or is it really hot in your police car? I'm burnin up! cough, cough, flem spew...". It might just land you in the infectuous diseases hospital; however, which is only one step up from jail. At least you'll have TV.
Plan to stay off the Gulf Road around sunset: It becomes the Autobahn for Idiots. I personally have seen people (including small children) die/torn to pieces in accidents because idiot drivers think they HAVE to be home exactly at sunset (they don't). Puhleeze people: if you see a car speeding up behind you with its lights flashing, GET THE F OUT OF THE WAY! This actually could apply to any time of the year in Kuwait but moreso during Ramadan (Bobarino - this really applies to you). Do you think the maniac (Arabic or English tense - your choice) is gonna slow down just because you are there and you want to show how stubborn you can be???? Noooooo. Repeat after me: They just don't care. Keep your camera in the car during Ramadan to get the very best horrific auto accident photos.
Sunset Cruising: The BEST time to shop at the co-ops and the Sultan Center is at sunset. It is also a great time for westerner singles to see other western singles because everybody is there at the same time when it is quiet. Restaurants and shops are often open all night. It is fun and a lot of people go out. Personally, I love it. Most of the major hotels have buffets in tents or in their ballrooms.
If you are single and want to mingle, an hour before sunset every evening during Ramadan is the time to meet someone. You know the saying – anything taboo is going to be more fun, right? A lot of people either walk or drive along the Gulf Road. If you are out there and want to go home, wait 15 to 20 minutes after sunset before moving to make sure the crazy drivers are already back in their homes.
First and last week of Ramadan: Generally, Kuwaiti people will meet with their family and friends during the first week of Ramadan, and then the restaurants will start to fill up as everybody goes out to socialize. The last 10 days of Ramadan are the most spiritual, so a lot of people go to the mosque those nights.
Respect: Loud music (parties), and clothing that isn’t modest (micro-minis or speedos, for example) might not be a good idea throughout the month; both are disrespectful. If the po-po turns a blind eye to partying the rest of the year, they probably won't be as forgiving during Ramadan.
Petty Theft Increase During Ramadan: If you are planning to walk at any of the popular paths/areas during Ramadan – do not EVER leave valuables (purse, wallet, even mobile phones) in your car. Thieves know that people do this and they have and will break into your car to get them. As an extra added bonus, thieves also understand that the police are not going to rush to your rescue at sunset when they haven’t eaten all day. Someone broke into my car at Ras Salmiya’s parking lot at sunset and stole my purse (hidden under the passenger seat) from my Discovery. The police told me to file a report – the NEXT day! I don’t even want to begin to tell you what a pain in the ass it is to try to get new Kuwaiti IDs. It’s not fun. I made the unfortunate mistake of also having several US-based credit cards and my Virginia driver’s license. That really sucked. One of my Kuwaiti friends had a Lexus and the thieves broke through his glass sunroof. That’s just downright dispicable: It costs so much more to replace sunroof glass than the side windows, but thieves also know that many alarm systems don’t go off with entry through a sunroof. I think the thieves also knew that most Discoveries have problems with their door locks (among many many other maintenance issues).
Niceties: What to say to people as a polite Ramadan greeting: Mubarak Alayk Shahar ("Happy month" basically) or "Ramadan kareem" (Ramadan is generous).
Invitations: If you have Kuwaiti friends, they may invite you to their homes during Ramadan (and if you know me - please do because I love the invites! Pick me! Pick me!). It is always good to bring something like a tray of sweets or even a covered dish. Don't think that it is rude if they don't put it out - it is customary (but not always) for people to serve food that they have made first. Neighbors often exchange covered dishes (sometimes marked with their initials on the bottom so they know what belongs to whom) with each other during Ramadan and dayam - do I wish that my neighbors would because whatever they are cooking - it smells fantastic! If you accept an invitation, expect to eat a lot. Every night is like a Thanksgiving feast and Kuwaitis are known for their hospitality - especially during Ramadan. Ramadan foods are generally quite heavy, so wear your stretchy pants.
Charity: Like Thanksgiving or Christmas, Ramadan is a time to remember those less fortunate. If you have a building guard (hariss) who is Moslem -- or not, Ramadan is a good time to extend hospitality to him by bringing a covered plate/dish. I used to love my building guard and regularly cooked for him. People give alms to the poor on Eid, and you will also see charitable Ramadan tents feeding masses of workers. You might also notice people being more generous to street workers and beggars. Similar to the Western custom of tipping people who have given you service at Christmas, Eid is the time in this part of the world.
Lent in Overdrive: If you want to look at it like this, Ramadan is Lent in overdrive. Moslems give up sustainance during the day to empathize with those who have to go without - not out of choice. I have Christian friends who fast during Ramadan because it is spiritual/grounding. It makes sense to fast for the right reasons.
I have enjoyed fasting; it makes me feel like I'm part of a collective spiritual act. I like it better when I break fast with others, however. It is really no fun when you are alone (and then I start to think more about my Kuwaiti friends who were in the US during Ramadan and how I might have been more understanding/compassionate). Just like Christmas dinner, you know that everyone else in the country is doing the same thing that you are at just the same time. It is a nice feeling.
Guergee'an (Mid-Ramadan): If you see little kids all dressed up in festive clothes around mid-month, that's "guergee'an" (sp?). You might also see co-ops and grocery stores selling a mixture of nuts and candy - either loose or in packages. Guergee'an is a holiday indiginous to Kuwait. In the old days, the wee ones would follow a male leader (not MJ) with a lantern (I can't remember the name they have for dude), singing the guergee'an song (maybe someone can send me the lyrics in English or Arabic and I'll write another post about it); and go door-to-door, singing for candy. These days, Kuwaitis generally have guergee'an parties for kids (instead of the door-to-door thing) and households will often make their own home-made baskets or boxes of nuts/candy to distribute to friends and family members (I prefer Patchi please). I guess Guergee'an is similar to Halloween, but without the Pagan ramifications nor the tricks. You won't see anyone toilet-papering houses during Guergee'an (sad, really).
At the end of Ramadan - Eid
Mass Lamb Murders: Kuwaitis eat a lot of lamb and during Ramadan, lamb is also given to those less fortunate. One woman I know and her family cook enough food (not just lamb) for 500 poor people every Eid. There will be a lot of tragic lamb murders prior to Eid, so if you like the cuddly little baa-baa's - stay away from the back side of the Friday Market (bad traffic also). You might see lambs in your neighboorhood; they won't be there very long. Don't form an attachment.
Eid clothes: Beware of clothes shopping and traffic during the week before Eid. For those of you living in the shopping district in Salmiya, get used to the traffic. It gonna git ugly from 7ish on. People buy new clothes for Eid and for some reason, they have to shop immediately prior to Eid instead of doing it year-round when there might be sales. Go figure.
Banking before Eid: If you can avoid going to the bank for the few days before Eid, you should do so. Traditionally, Kuwaitis give children money for Eid. It used to be in small denominations, but with inflation and the economy, it has been increasing. People rush to the bank to ask for stacks of new bills. Banks know this and they have them on hand and they can't be had through the ATM.
Additional cash requirements during Eid: Black market alcohol prices rise tremendously during Eid, so that may be a consideration for some of you criminals/evil-doers. .... I'm just say'in. Maybe you need it for church or something.
If you are planning a trip during Eid, you'd better book in advance. Tickets to the UAE and Bahrain (and other places) go fast and it is always a mad rush at the airport.
F-ing fire crackers during Eid: I HATE this part of the holiday. Every small convenience store stocks up on fire crackers and the little imps run out even early in the morning and start making noise. Just when you thought you could get a little sleep over the holiday.... bam bam bam! It scares poor DesertDawg and she is usually under my bed for 3 days.
Have a happy, blessed month and may God accept all your prayers.
For those of you just getting off the banana boat, some DG words of advice on Ramadan in Kuwait. I don't know why companies and other Westerners try to freak out newbies to the Middle East on Ramadan. I love it. It is like an entire month of mass spiritualism and the happy atmosphere that surrounds it (ok, maybe not if you are in traffic with many smokers in the middle of a nicotine crisis during 110 degree weather, however). I guess it is all about attitude. Plus, work hours are shortened and there are all kinds of yummy Ramadan foods around. Newbies - get out there and try some! Ramadan isn't about the woes of not being able to eat for a month for fear of getting in trouble; nor for the dread of horrible drivers on the road. There is so much more to it.
What NOT to do: Attention Newbies! Do not: Eat, drink, chew gum, chew tobacco, pop a tic-tac, smoke or kiss in public (which is illegal in Kuwait anyhoo) during daylight hours.
Do not go grocery shopping during the 3-4 days prior to Ramadan (2014: June 28/29 - July 28/29 - depending on da moon). It is vicious-scary as everyone tries to stock up on food. I have seen people push down pregnant women trying to get into the check-out line.
Office Etiquette: If you are working with those who are fasting (most offices in Kuwait), get the "lay of the land"/ask co-workers what’s cool and what isn’t - before trying to sneak something to eat or drink in your office. One of my colleagues keeps a big thermos of coffee in his office and draws the shades. Don't smoke in your office - that's just dumb and might get you in trouble. People can smell smoke (duuh) and might report it to someone. If you are working on base, of course, military rules apply.
How to tell if a Kuwaiti isn't fasting: They are standing at the hot food (take-away) counter at Sultan Center at noon. You are allowed go give knowing glances and/or giggle. Almost all the Kuwaitis I know fast, but then, I do know others who don't.
How can you tell when it is "ok" to eat/drink? You have to be sure that it is after sunset because even if it is a few minutes before, you could potentially still get in trouble with the law. Right around sunset, you will hear the call to prayer. If you are tuned to any Kuwaiti radio or TV station, they will broadcast the call to prayer and then it is ok to eat. If you are sitting in a restaurant and think that it is sunset, wait first to see if other people start eating.
Note that if you order food prior to sunset, you will be in for a long wait. Ditto on the take-out as you are going to have to wait in line with a lot of other people picking up food for their families (modern day lifestyles).
What happens if you get caught by the po-po eating/drinking/smoking/chewing gum, etc during the day? They wisk you away to jail where you will remain until the end of Ramadan. Good times. What you might try to do this year is start coughing and spewing flem violently if caught. Tell them that you have just travelled to Mexico and you are starting to develop a fever, rash, and fits of vomiting, "Is it just me or is it really hot in your police car? I'm burnin up! cough, cough, flem spew...". It might just land you in the infectuous diseases hospital; however, which is only one step up from jail. At least you'll have TV.
Plan to stay off the Gulf Road around sunset: It becomes the Autobahn for Idiots. I personally have seen people (including small children) die/torn to pieces in accidents because idiot drivers think they HAVE to be home exactly at sunset (they don't). Puhleeze people: if you see a car speeding up behind you with its lights flashing, GET THE F OUT OF THE WAY! This actually could apply to any time of the year in Kuwait but moreso during Ramadan (Bobarino - this really applies to you). Do you think the maniac (Arabic or English tense - your choice) is gonna slow down just because you are there and you want to show how stubborn you can be???? Noooooo. Repeat after me: They just don't care. Keep your camera in the car during Ramadan to get the very best horrific auto accident photos.
Sunset Cruising: The BEST time to shop at the co-ops and the Sultan Center is at sunset. It is also a great time for westerner singles to see other western singles because everybody is there at the same time when it is quiet. Restaurants and shops are often open all night. It is fun and a lot of people go out. Personally, I love it. Most of the major hotels have buffets in tents or in their ballrooms.
If you are single and want to mingle, an hour before sunset every evening during Ramadan is the time to meet someone. You know the saying – anything taboo is going to be more fun, right? A lot of people either walk or drive along the Gulf Road. If you are out there and want to go home, wait 15 to 20 minutes after sunset before moving to make sure the crazy drivers are already back in their homes.
First and last week of Ramadan: Generally, Kuwaiti people will meet with their family and friends during the first week of Ramadan, and then the restaurants will start to fill up as everybody goes out to socialize. The last 10 days of Ramadan are the most spiritual, so a lot of people go to the mosque those nights.
Respect: Loud music (parties), and clothing that isn’t modest (micro-minis or speedos, for example) might not be a good idea throughout the month; both are disrespectful. If the po-po turns a blind eye to partying the rest of the year, they probably won't be as forgiving during Ramadan.
Petty Theft Increase During Ramadan: If you are planning to walk at any of the popular paths/areas during Ramadan – do not EVER leave valuables (purse, wallet, even mobile phones) in your car. Thieves know that people do this and they have and will break into your car to get them. As an extra added bonus, thieves also understand that the police are not going to rush to your rescue at sunset when they haven’t eaten all day. Someone broke into my car at Ras Salmiya’s parking lot at sunset and stole my purse (hidden under the passenger seat) from my Discovery. The police told me to file a report – the NEXT day! I don’t even want to begin to tell you what a pain in the ass it is to try to get new Kuwaiti IDs. It’s not fun. I made the unfortunate mistake of also having several US-based credit cards and my Virginia driver’s license. That really sucked. One of my Kuwaiti friends had a Lexus and the thieves broke through his glass sunroof. That’s just downright dispicable: It costs so much more to replace sunroof glass than the side windows, but thieves also know that many alarm systems don’t go off with entry through a sunroof. I think the thieves also knew that most Discoveries have problems with their door locks (among many many other maintenance issues).
Niceties: What to say to people as a polite Ramadan greeting: Mubarak Alayk Shahar ("Happy month" basically) or "Ramadan kareem" (Ramadan is generous).
Invitations: If you have Kuwaiti friends, they may invite you to their homes during Ramadan (and if you know me - please do because I love the invites! Pick me! Pick me!). It is always good to bring something like a tray of sweets or even a covered dish. Don't think that it is rude if they don't put it out - it is customary (but not always) for people to serve food that they have made first. Neighbors often exchange covered dishes (sometimes marked with their initials on the bottom so they know what belongs to whom) with each other during Ramadan and dayam - do I wish that my neighbors would because whatever they are cooking - it smells fantastic! If you accept an invitation, expect to eat a lot. Every night is like a Thanksgiving feast and Kuwaitis are known for their hospitality - especially during Ramadan. Ramadan foods are generally quite heavy, so wear your stretchy pants.
Charity: Like Thanksgiving or Christmas, Ramadan is a time to remember those less fortunate. If you have a building guard (hariss) who is Moslem -- or not, Ramadan is a good time to extend hospitality to him by bringing a covered plate/dish. I used to love my building guard and regularly cooked for him. People give alms to the poor on Eid, and you will also see charitable Ramadan tents feeding masses of workers. You might also notice people being more generous to street workers and beggars. Similar to the Western custom of tipping people who have given you service at Christmas, Eid is the time in this part of the world.
Lent in Overdrive: If you want to look at it like this, Ramadan is Lent in overdrive. Moslems give up sustainance during the day to empathize with those who have to go without - not out of choice. I have Christian friends who fast during Ramadan because it is spiritual/grounding. It makes sense to fast for the right reasons.
I have enjoyed fasting; it makes me feel like I'm part of a collective spiritual act. I like it better when I break fast with others, however. It is really no fun when you are alone (and then I start to think more about my Kuwaiti friends who were in the US during Ramadan and how I might have been more understanding/compassionate). Just like Christmas dinner, you know that everyone else in the country is doing the same thing that you are at just the same time. It is a nice feeling.
Guergee'an (Mid-Ramadan): If you see little kids all dressed up in festive clothes around mid-month, that's "guergee'an" (sp?). You might also see co-ops and grocery stores selling a mixture of nuts and candy - either loose or in packages. Guergee'an is a holiday indiginous to Kuwait. In the old days, the wee ones would follow a male leader (not MJ) with a lantern (I can't remember the name they have for dude), singing the guergee'an song (maybe someone can send me the lyrics in English or Arabic and I'll write another post about it); and go door-to-door, singing for candy. These days, Kuwaitis generally have guergee'an parties for kids (instead of the door-to-door thing) and households will often make their own home-made baskets or boxes of nuts/candy to distribute to friends and family members (I prefer Patchi please). I guess Guergee'an is similar to Halloween, but without the Pagan ramifications nor the tricks. You won't see anyone toilet-papering houses during Guergee'an (sad, really).
At the end of Ramadan - Eid
Mass Lamb Murders: Kuwaitis eat a lot of lamb and during Ramadan, lamb is also given to those less fortunate. One woman I know and her family cook enough food (not just lamb) for 500 poor people every Eid. There will be a lot of tragic lamb murders prior to Eid, so if you like the cuddly little baa-baa's - stay away from the back side of the Friday Market (bad traffic also). You might see lambs in your neighboorhood; they won't be there very long. Don't form an attachment.
Eid clothes: Beware of clothes shopping and traffic during the week before Eid. For those of you living in the shopping district in Salmiya, get used to the traffic. It gonna git ugly from 7ish on. People buy new clothes for Eid and for some reason, they have to shop immediately prior to Eid instead of doing it year-round when there might be sales. Go figure.
Banking before Eid: If you can avoid going to the bank for the few days before Eid, you should do so. Traditionally, Kuwaitis give children money for Eid. It used to be in small denominations, but with inflation and the economy, it has been increasing. People rush to the bank to ask for stacks of new bills. Banks know this and they have them on hand and they can't be had through the ATM.
Additional cash requirements during Eid: Black market alcohol prices rise tremendously during Eid, so that may be a consideration for some of you criminals/evil-doers. .... I'm just say'in. Maybe you need it for church or something.
If you are planning a trip during Eid, you'd better book in advance. Tickets to the UAE and Bahrain (and other places) go fast and it is always a mad rush at the airport.
F-ing fire crackers during Eid: I HATE this part of the holiday. Every small convenience store stocks up on fire crackers and the little imps run out even early in the morning and start making noise. Just when you thought you could get a little sleep over the holiday.... bam bam bam! It scares poor DesertDawg and she is usually under my bed for 3 days.
Have a happy, blessed month and may God accept all your prayers.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Desert Girl’s Most Excellent Adventure
I was having such an excellent adventure that I didn’t post whilst on vacation. (Whilst, that’s Briddish for “while” – so says me.) Dayam – I so didn’t want to come back. But alas, I ran out of money (and vacation leave) and my hair and skin was ruined by the humidity of DC/Virginia summer. Plus, don’t even get me started on apache-like mosquitoes that have now made me appear as though I’ve got small pox: They just Nas-teh.
You know what pisses me off (you probably know lots of things that piss me off if you have read even more than one blog post herein)…. Hair dryers in the States only go up to around 2000 watts (I think the regular consumer brands are 1800). Funk dat. When the humidity is so high, you need way more power. I don’t even get my hair dried before it is wet again with the pea shooter that I was using there. They sell hair dryers with more power, but you must be a card-carrying “hair care professional” to get one. Mine in Kuwait is like 3200. That’s kind of like the equivalent of sticking your head inside a microwave, I believe. I can dry my hair and strip paint at the same time. Anyhooo… What tha F?! Does Big Brother have to monitor ab-so-lutely everything in the States? I feel that way when I go there. There are so many rules to obey – and I’m just no good at conforming. But hey – the US is the place to go if you are looking for endless aisles of cereal. The Land of Choice. I get overwhelmed going to grocery stores there. It is almost to the point of freaking me out. It is like going to a restaurant with an extensive menu and too many pages/choices: what do you DO?
Everything on TV there is about money or health problems. It’s also full of commercials of people telling you what you SHOULD do: Get your degree; sue somebody; take Viagra. I don’t want to hear that shit. Leave me alone. We all know that I have been in Kuwait to long.
I digress. Have you noticed that I generally start my best posts with things that piss me off first?
I had such a good time. Oh…. My……God. I didn’t want to leave. I was so busy having fun with my family. I know that I talk a whole lot of hooey about drinking and partying, but the sad truth of the matter is that when I go to visit my family, I am generally very low-key and quiet: My sister/bro-in-law set the security alarm set at 9:30 – 10. My nephew calls it “lock down”. I think if I had lived in a house with a home security system on it when I was 14, I would have had to hide my boyfriends in the closet until the next day. (Did I say that in public?)
I was SUCH a bad, bad teenaged girl. We (teenagers) never had any money, so we saved/scraped for change to sneak out of the house and take taxis to nightclubs in DC. I used to dance all night long and then change out of my party clothes (back into PJs) in the bushes outside our house to sneak back in; so it would appear that I was just downstairs getting something to eat. My whole teenage experience could have been titled, “Dances with Pedophiles” (many of them Kuwaiti I might add). My poor nephew is so sheltered. He may never know the joys of having a homeless guy staring at him changing clothes at 3:45 am; or stepping on slugs on the front walkway with bare feet because he took his shoes off to get into the house via “stealth mode”; or getting busted by his father sneaking back into the house. I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like without fake IDs. I had my 18th birthday party at a nightclub called “Tramps” (now a Benetton, I think) where I had been going since I was 13. Everybody knew me: the waiters, the bartenders, the owner, patrons…. The DJ announced that it was my birthday and everybody clapped. Then, he shouted out, “How old are you?” and I shouted back “18!” and that’s when the jaws started hitting the floor. Including the owner’s – Mike O’. Priceless. I guess I got all of my heavy partying done at an early age when I was at Maximum Cuteness and could dance all night long and then go to school. Some of my friends got married early and now they are partying hard. I can’t keep up these days. I don’t even know what the good clubs in DC are anymore. I used to hit as many as 4 per night. Pathetic.
Yada yada….
Ok, so once on lock-down, I watch all my crime shows on Direct TV; like Dr. G Medical Examiner, Forensic Files, and CSI. I also got into what my mother refers to as “the freak shows” (this is so wrong – bear with me): They have all kinds of programs on people with deformities. [It is because I don’t want to go to hell (for this) that I won’t go into too much detail. Little people. People without faces. Stuff like that.] Ok, then they have the baby shows like “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” (mostly about women who didn’t have a clue and then ended up delivering a baby in the toilet); and “16 and Pregnant” (self-explanatory); and “Delivery Me” (just about delivering babies in general). Why is this stuff so fascinating to people? I don’t get it. What’s next, “Vicious Bowel Movements”? Oh, and the "Real Wives of (NY, NJ, and Atlanta)" Addictive train wrecks.
I digress more and more.
Anyhoo, I loved being with my family. My nephew is at that cool age where everything is new and an adventure. I drove back with him and 2 of his friends from the Outer Banks to Virginia; a 6-hour drive. I stopped at Cracker Barrel for fried chicken. Cracker Barrel: Where you will only find greenery in the pattern of their wallpaper. That’s just plain good ole southern cooking: biscuits, cornbread and gravy! I made the teenage boys eat a whole lot of heavy food so they would fall asleep on the ride back and then I could scare the bejeezus out of them by slamming on the breaks or screaming every 15 to 20 minutes as if we were careening off a cliff. I scream loud enough to have them all slamming themselves up against the car windows in fear. Good times. Good times. They wouldn't get that from a ride home with my sister.
I can’t believe how much I actually did while I was there. I was so busy all the time. My mother keeps a detailed journal of what she does every day. I’m going to have to ask her for a cheat sheet because I can’t remember. I love doing things with her – even though she is my moms and occasionally drives me nuts. Just makes me understand how fast time passes and how precious time with your family is.
Segue.
My sister has no ass. She had a bit of an ass before, but it appears to have fallen off. She also has a completely flat (Mashallah) stomach. She attributes it to Sean T’s Hip Hop Abs. I have determined that I really don’t want to go to a gym and be surrounded by sweaty people who have the potential of staring at my (oversized) ass. It’s not for me. I don’t want to pay several hundred KD to join a place that I probably won’t go to all the time; and may be pissed off at when I do. I LOVE Hip Hop Ab DVDs! They are amazing. I hate doing floor crunches (so I just don’t – which explains how I DON’T have a flat stomach) and this is so cool because you are doing standing crunches. I have had insomnia since I got back so I was wide awake at 4 am and decided to do them. Instant energy. I love it. I’ll let you know how it goes. I don’t eat much really and I’m more likely to make myself fish for dinner than having junk food, so it is really down to the exercise. My sister is so cool for turning me onto the DVDs. She’s been into fitness for a very long time and it shows; she looks amazing.
I tried to go walking with my sister after dinner over there (she’s an amazing cook), but the apache mosquitoes got me bigtime. I’m not kidding – I have welts. It’s not a pretty look. The bastards even got my kneecaps! Kneecapped by the mosquito mafia! This year, there were lots of ads around for a mosquito repellant that is a clip-on fan that disburses repellant in a bubble around you. That’s so cool. Of course, the ads were so convincing that none of the retailers I went to (and there were a lot) could keep them on the shelf. I finally bought some Off and my nephew thought it was perfume. “Wow… what perfume are you wearing? I think that girl (which is what he calls his girlfriend) wears that… I like it.” Oh yeah? Your girl wears bug spray when she comes to see you? That should be telling you something dude. That’s just wrong.
The weather in Virginia was pretty hot, but everything was so green and beautiful. I forget how gorgeous it all is when I’m here and then when I go back, I just stare out the window with my mouth agape. I know what you’re thinking – either that “dumb blonde” look or that I just look mentally challenged, right? Yeah, pretty much. No, I don’t do drugs although after coming back here, I believe that they would really help me.
Here was my biggest fear about returning to Kuwait: The heat sensors for swine flu at the Kuwait airport. After an extended period of celibacy, I wondered if perhaps my private parts would be hot enough to glow on the screen and embarrass me. They didn’t, but it was one of those irrational (rational?) fears.
I couldn’t believe how long the lines were in Kuwait customs. And let me axe you this: How come none of the Kuwaiti customs people ever cracks a smile or even has something pleasant to say? They are the way Dubai customs agents USED to be before they got customer relations training and realized that hey – people are coming to your country and perhaps you might be a little welcoming as initial points of contact/ambassadors of your homeland. Show some Arab hospitality! These guys treated everyone in line – regardless of their nationality – like they were pariah. I know they have a difficult job, but a bad attitude makes it so much worse. I always say, “Salam Alaykum” and these guys (and sometimes gals) don’t even answer. I end up answering myself. What is WRONG with people? I used to be treated much better before all the other Americans came to Kuwait and ruined it for me. People used to talk to me and asked me where I worked and were very nice. I enjoyed being a novelty. Now I’m just ordinary. That’s no good. Ordinary doesn’t work for me. (Okay, neither does short bus, but you get my meaning.) On my previous post, a comment was made about how hard it is to get through US Customs and I agree – it is mostly a pain in the ass – but at least once you speak to one of the representatives, they generally at least speak to you (of any nationality) and make eye contact instead of GRUNTING. “Me caveman. Me stamp you passport. Ug ug.”
I enjoyed seeing how many tards in the airport were wearing masks as a deterrent to the flu. I giggle. Nothing funnier than a bio mask and a long beard. That just screams for me to run up and start coughing near them.
When are they going to expand Kuwait airport? It’s hell and its not like you can drive to another airport to catch a flight.
Bobarino is so funny. He arrived a few days before I did and he wanted a few more days off work, so he called in and said that he had “flu-like symptoms”. Easy pass to 3 days off. If he could only use his powers for good instead of evil. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. Maybe I should have come to work wearing a mask and coughing, “Don’t want to make any of my co-workers sick….”
Seriously, I’m much more likely to catch something life-threatening from the women’s bathroom here at work than swine flu. Our cleaning guy literally sprays the entire stall with water that he’s used from the hose next to the toilet (the butt hose) and then pushes the water around with a squeegee. You will NEVER find a squeegee in my home; I banned them. ICK. Don’t they have any clue how much bacteria can thrive in even one drop of water in the bathroom? Especially water from a hose that has been within inches of so many butts! YUUUUUUUK.
I digress. As usual.
Movies: If you haven’t seen “The Hangover” – go and get a bootleg copy RIGHT FRICKIN NOW. It is the most hilarious movie I have seen in a very long time. I loved it. What not to see (unless you are into poorly made Ron Jeremy gay porn): Bruno (Sacha Cohen). We walked out. It was non-stop senseless, vulgar, disgusting gay sexual scenes. It was abso-frickin-lutely the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Did you hear about that guy in Saudi Arabia who talked openly about his sex life on LBC and the Saudis arrested him? LINK That’s clearly messed up. Saudis don’t have sex out of wedlock! Noooooooo. They don’t drink either. Everybody knows that. Why would he lie like that? Shameful.
I think I have run out of things to talk about right now. I feel as though I have covered pretty much of everything rolling around inside my head. I know I will be totally useless for the next few days (at least!). So it is almost Ramadan - my favorite time of the year for mahem and corruption.
You know what pisses me off (you probably know lots of things that piss me off if you have read even more than one blog post herein)…. Hair dryers in the States only go up to around 2000 watts (I think the regular consumer brands are 1800). Funk dat. When the humidity is so high, you need way more power. I don’t even get my hair dried before it is wet again with the pea shooter that I was using there. They sell hair dryers with more power, but you must be a card-carrying “hair care professional” to get one. Mine in Kuwait is like 3200. That’s kind of like the equivalent of sticking your head inside a microwave, I believe. I can dry my hair and strip paint at the same time. Anyhooo… What tha F?! Does Big Brother have to monitor ab-so-lutely everything in the States? I feel that way when I go there. There are so many rules to obey – and I’m just no good at conforming. But hey – the US is the place to go if you are looking for endless aisles of cereal. The Land of Choice. I get overwhelmed going to grocery stores there. It is almost to the point of freaking me out. It is like going to a restaurant with an extensive menu and too many pages/choices: what do you DO?
Everything on TV there is about money or health problems. It’s also full of commercials of people telling you what you SHOULD do: Get your degree; sue somebody; take Viagra. I don’t want to hear that shit. Leave me alone. We all know that I have been in Kuwait to long.
I digress. Have you noticed that I generally start my best posts with things that piss me off first?
I had such a good time. Oh…. My……God. I didn’t want to leave. I was so busy having fun with my family. I know that I talk a whole lot of hooey about drinking and partying, but the sad truth of the matter is that when I go to visit my family, I am generally very low-key and quiet: My sister/bro-in-law set the security alarm set at 9:30 – 10. My nephew calls it “lock down”. I think if I had lived in a house with a home security system on it when I was 14, I would have had to hide my boyfriends in the closet until the next day. (Did I say that in public?)
I was SUCH a bad, bad teenaged girl. We (teenagers) never had any money, so we saved/scraped for change to sneak out of the house and take taxis to nightclubs in DC. I used to dance all night long and then change out of my party clothes (back into PJs) in the bushes outside our house to sneak back in; so it would appear that I was just downstairs getting something to eat. My whole teenage experience could have been titled, “Dances with Pedophiles” (many of them Kuwaiti I might add). My poor nephew is so sheltered. He may never know the joys of having a homeless guy staring at him changing clothes at 3:45 am; or stepping on slugs on the front walkway with bare feet because he took his shoes off to get into the house via “stealth mode”; or getting busted by his father sneaking back into the house. I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like without fake IDs. I had my 18th birthday party at a nightclub called “Tramps” (now a Benetton, I think) where I had been going since I was 13. Everybody knew me: the waiters, the bartenders, the owner, patrons…. The DJ announced that it was my birthday and everybody clapped. Then, he shouted out, “How old are you?” and I shouted back “18!” and that’s when the jaws started hitting the floor. Including the owner’s – Mike O’. Priceless. I guess I got all of my heavy partying done at an early age when I was at Maximum Cuteness and could dance all night long and then go to school. Some of my friends got married early and now they are partying hard. I can’t keep up these days. I don’t even know what the good clubs in DC are anymore. I used to hit as many as 4 per night. Pathetic.
Yada yada….
Ok, so once on lock-down, I watch all my crime shows on Direct TV; like Dr. G Medical Examiner, Forensic Files, and CSI. I also got into what my mother refers to as “the freak shows” (this is so wrong – bear with me): They have all kinds of programs on people with deformities. [It is because I don’t want to go to hell (for this) that I won’t go into too much detail. Little people. People without faces. Stuff like that.] Ok, then they have the baby shows like “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” (mostly about women who didn’t have a clue and then ended up delivering a baby in the toilet); and “16 and Pregnant” (self-explanatory); and “Delivery Me” (just about delivering babies in general). Why is this stuff so fascinating to people? I don’t get it. What’s next, “Vicious Bowel Movements”? Oh, and the "Real Wives of (NY, NJ, and Atlanta)" Addictive train wrecks.
I digress more and more.
Anyhoo, I loved being with my family. My nephew is at that cool age where everything is new and an adventure. I drove back with him and 2 of his friends from the Outer Banks to Virginia; a 6-hour drive. I stopped at Cracker Barrel for fried chicken. Cracker Barrel: Where you will only find greenery in the pattern of their wallpaper. That’s just plain good ole southern cooking: biscuits, cornbread and gravy! I made the teenage boys eat a whole lot of heavy food so they would fall asleep on the ride back and then I could scare the bejeezus out of them by slamming on the breaks or screaming every 15 to 20 minutes as if we were careening off a cliff. I scream loud enough to have them all slamming themselves up against the car windows in fear. Good times. Good times. They wouldn't get that from a ride home with my sister.
I can’t believe how much I actually did while I was there. I was so busy all the time. My mother keeps a detailed journal of what she does every day. I’m going to have to ask her for a cheat sheet because I can’t remember. I love doing things with her – even though she is my moms and occasionally drives me nuts. Just makes me understand how fast time passes and how precious time with your family is.
Segue.
My sister has no ass. She had a bit of an ass before, but it appears to have fallen off. She also has a completely flat (Mashallah) stomach. She attributes it to Sean T’s Hip Hop Abs. I have determined that I really don’t want to go to a gym and be surrounded by sweaty people who have the potential of staring at my (oversized) ass. It’s not for me. I don’t want to pay several hundred KD to join a place that I probably won’t go to all the time; and may be pissed off at when I do. I LOVE Hip Hop Ab DVDs! They are amazing. I hate doing floor crunches (so I just don’t – which explains how I DON’T have a flat stomach) and this is so cool because you are doing standing crunches. I have had insomnia since I got back so I was wide awake at 4 am and decided to do them. Instant energy. I love it. I’ll let you know how it goes. I don’t eat much really and I’m more likely to make myself fish for dinner than having junk food, so it is really down to the exercise. My sister is so cool for turning me onto the DVDs. She’s been into fitness for a very long time and it shows; she looks amazing.
I tried to go walking with my sister after dinner over there (she’s an amazing cook), but the apache mosquitoes got me bigtime. I’m not kidding – I have welts. It’s not a pretty look. The bastards even got my kneecaps! Kneecapped by the mosquito mafia! This year, there were lots of ads around for a mosquito repellant that is a clip-on fan that disburses repellant in a bubble around you. That’s so cool. Of course, the ads were so convincing that none of the retailers I went to (and there were a lot) could keep them on the shelf. I finally bought some Off and my nephew thought it was perfume. “Wow… what perfume are you wearing? I think that girl (which is what he calls his girlfriend) wears that… I like it.” Oh yeah? Your girl wears bug spray when she comes to see you? That should be telling you something dude. That’s just wrong.
The weather in Virginia was pretty hot, but everything was so green and beautiful. I forget how gorgeous it all is when I’m here and then when I go back, I just stare out the window with my mouth agape. I know what you’re thinking – either that “dumb blonde” look or that I just look mentally challenged, right? Yeah, pretty much. No, I don’t do drugs although after coming back here, I believe that they would really help me.
Here was my biggest fear about returning to Kuwait: The heat sensors for swine flu at the Kuwait airport. After an extended period of celibacy, I wondered if perhaps my private parts would be hot enough to glow on the screen and embarrass me. They didn’t, but it was one of those irrational (rational?) fears.
I couldn’t believe how long the lines were in Kuwait customs. And let me axe you this: How come none of the Kuwaiti customs people ever cracks a smile or even has something pleasant to say? They are the way Dubai customs agents USED to be before they got customer relations training and realized that hey – people are coming to your country and perhaps you might be a little welcoming as initial points of contact/ambassadors of your homeland. Show some Arab hospitality! These guys treated everyone in line – regardless of their nationality – like they were pariah. I know they have a difficult job, but a bad attitude makes it so much worse. I always say, “Salam Alaykum” and these guys (and sometimes gals) don’t even answer. I end up answering myself. What is WRONG with people? I used to be treated much better before all the other Americans came to Kuwait and ruined it for me. People used to talk to me and asked me where I worked and were very nice. I enjoyed being a novelty. Now I’m just ordinary. That’s no good. Ordinary doesn’t work for me. (Okay, neither does short bus, but you get my meaning.) On my previous post, a comment was made about how hard it is to get through US Customs and I agree – it is mostly a pain in the ass – but at least once you speak to one of the representatives, they generally at least speak to you (of any nationality) and make eye contact instead of GRUNTING. “Me caveman. Me stamp you passport. Ug ug.”
I enjoyed seeing how many tards in the airport were wearing masks as a deterrent to the flu. I giggle. Nothing funnier than a bio mask and a long beard. That just screams for me to run up and start coughing near them.
When are they going to expand Kuwait airport? It’s hell and its not like you can drive to another airport to catch a flight.
Bobarino is so funny. He arrived a few days before I did and he wanted a few more days off work, so he called in and said that he had “flu-like symptoms”. Easy pass to 3 days off. If he could only use his powers for good instead of evil. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it. Maybe I should have come to work wearing a mask and coughing, “Don’t want to make any of my co-workers sick….”
Seriously, I’m much more likely to catch something life-threatening from the women’s bathroom here at work than swine flu. Our cleaning guy literally sprays the entire stall with water that he’s used from the hose next to the toilet (the butt hose) and then pushes the water around with a squeegee. You will NEVER find a squeegee in my home; I banned them. ICK. Don’t they have any clue how much bacteria can thrive in even one drop of water in the bathroom? Especially water from a hose that has been within inches of so many butts! YUUUUUUUK.
I digress. As usual.
Movies: If you haven’t seen “The Hangover” – go and get a bootleg copy RIGHT FRICKIN NOW. It is the most hilarious movie I have seen in a very long time. I loved it. What not to see (unless you are into poorly made Ron Jeremy gay porn): Bruno (Sacha Cohen). We walked out. It was non-stop senseless, vulgar, disgusting gay sexual scenes. It was abso-frickin-lutely the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Did you hear about that guy in Saudi Arabia who talked openly about his sex life on LBC and the Saudis arrested him? LINK That’s clearly messed up. Saudis don’t have sex out of wedlock! Noooooooo. They don’t drink either. Everybody knows that. Why would he lie like that? Shameful.
I think I have run out of things to talk about right now. I feel as though I have covered pretty much of everything rolling around inside my head. I know I will be totally useless for the next few days (at least!). So it is almost Ramadan - my favorite time of the year for mahem and corruption.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Welcome, welcome
I saw two Kuwaiti women at the mall who had been on the plane with me. I said hello in Arabic and told the older one that I remembered them because she looks like that actress - Hayatt whatshername. I meant it as a compliment, but she looked at me like I had 2 heads. She's probably not used to weirdos walking up to her in a mall in a foreign country and speaking to her. Whatever.
Its really nice to see more khaleeji Arabs around DC/Virginia again. There was a distinct shortage after 9/11 and now it seems like people are starting to come back and feel more comfortable (YEAH OBAMA!). I'm happy to see that. Oh, the United direct flights probably help. God love 'em.
Its really nice to see more khaleeji Arabs around DC/Virginia again. There was a distinct shortage after 9/11 and now it seems like people are starting to come back and feel more comfortable (YEAH OBAMA!). I'm happy to see that. Oh, the United direct flights probably help. God love 'em.
Friday, July 24, 2009
OBX Baybee
I'm in Corolla Light in the Outer Banks of North Carolina with 12 other people; mostly my family. I traded one form of sand for another and this kind is definitely an improvement.
I'm seriously not in a writing mood, but thought I would say hi. I'm going to the beach now. Later.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Michael Jackson Tribute – Weird or What?
No disrespect to Michael fans. Everybody everywhere is giving their own 2 cents about the tribute. Although I'm no real Michael Jackson fan, I watched quite a few hours of the tribute to him. After seeing it, my personal feeling is that it should have been done after he was privately and quietly buried by his family members.
It seemed odd that no one acknowledged that was an "elephant in the room": Michael Jackson’s coffin. Usher was the only one who acknowledged that MJ was actually right there. Very weird. Usually, at a funeral, the deceased (in whatever vessel – real or symbolic) is the center of attention. In last night’s “performance”, he seemed to be secondary, like a prop for the real main event.
Katie Couric did the play-by-play. It was almost like they were supposed to have a half-time show with cheer leaders bounding into a pyramid formation. Who CLAPS at a funeral? I thought people were going to high-five each other. Totally tasteless.
I couldn’t tell if his family (of performers) had staged the tears or if they were real. I mean, ok – the main event being the singing of MJ’s favorite song, “Smile”.
Gee .... “What was your favorite part of the tribute?”
MJ’s kids chewed their gum throughout the whole thing, appearing like they didn’t have a care in the world. LaToya obviously put some thought into that hat; why didn’t she make her nieces and nephews spit out their gum, as they were appearing in front of (how many?) millions of people world-wide? Tacky. In my family (no aunts), my mother would have smacked me silly. So the little girl had a few words about her daddy. It was very sweet. However, MJ had seemed to have sheltered his kids from the type of exploitation he went through as a child. Would he have wanted his little girl in the limelight under those circumstances?
Throughout the whole thing, I had the distinct feeling that I would see it next month for sale on Amazon in a boxed set of DVDs. It looked like a major profit-generating event rather than a funeral. “A Tribute to Michael”, with .5% of the profits going to charity….
Is this what we have come to? Is this what our future is all about? Ab-so-lutely everything must now be commercialized?
People spoke excitedly for days about the upcoming event; as if it were the major event of the decade to attend rather than a somber gathering.
Ok, so I wasn’t a big MJ fan, but I felt bad for him last night. He spent his whole life accounting to other people (guilty or not) and in front of people, and being followed by people. Couldn’t he at least have been given the opportunity to go out with a little dignity? Wheeling him into a stadium in a box like a float at a parade!? WTF.
Janet was dignified about the whole thing. I thought it was good of her to usher MJ’s kids off stage so that their grief wasn’t sensationalized. I also respect Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor for not attending the tribute. Those are women who understand ritual and respect; I’m sure that neither feel that their own personal pain needs to be exploited for the sake of others’ entertainment. They have both probably already had a lifetime’s worth of that. So did Michael.
Hey, when my time comes: Please people! I don't want to be wheeled into a stadium with 50,000 people and put on global television. I would just like some peace please.
-- Desert Girl commentary end --
It seemed odd that no one acknowledged that was an "elephant in the room": Michael Jackson’s coffin. Usher was the only one who acknowledged that MJ was actually right there. Very weird. Usually, at a funeral, the deceased (in whatever vessel – real or symbolic) is the center of attention. In last night’s “performance”, he seemed to be secondary, like a prop for the real main event.
Katie Couric did the play-by-play. It was almost like they were supposed to have a half-time show with cheer leaders bounding into a pyramid formation. Who CLAPS at a funeral? I thought people were going to high-five each other. Totally tasteless.
I couldn’t tell if his family (of performers) had staged the tears or if they were real. I mean, ok – the main event being the singing of MJ’s favorite song, “Smile”.
Gee .... “What was your favorite part of the tribute?”
MJ’s kids chewed their gum throughout the whole thing, appearing like they didn’t have a care in the world. LaToya obviously put some thought into that hat; why didn’t she make her nieces and nephews spit out their gum, as they were appearing in front of (how many?) millions of people world-wide? Tacky. In my family (no aunts), my mother would have smacked me silly. So the little girl had a few words about her daddy. It was very sweet. However, MJ had seemed to have sheltered his kids from the type of exploitation he went through as a child. Would he have wanted his little girl in the limelight under those circumstances?
Throughout the whole thing, I had the distinct feeling that I would see it next month for sale on Amazon in a boxed set of DVDs. It looked like a major profit-generating event rather than a funeral. “A Tribute to Michael”, with .5% of the profits going to charity….
Is this what we have come to? Is this what our future is all about? Ab-so-lutely everything must now be commercialized?
People spoke excitedly for days about the upcoming event; as if it were the major event of the decade to attend rather than a somber gathering.
Ok, so I wasn’t a big MJ fan, but I felt bad for him last night. He spent his whole life accounting to other people (guilty or not) and in front of people, and being followed by people. Couldn’t he at least have been given the opportunity to go out with a little dignity? Wheeling him into a stadium in a box like a float at a parade!? WTF.
Janet was dignified about the whole thing. I thought it was good of her to usher MJ’s kids off stage so that their grief wasn’t sensationalized. I also respect Diana Ross and Elizabeth Taylor for not attending the tribute. Those are women who understand ritual and respect; I’m sure that neither feel that their own personal pain needs to be exploited for the sake of others’ entertainment. They have both probably already had a lifetime’s worth of that. So did Michael.
Hey, when my time comes: Please people! I don't want to be wheeled into a stadium with 50,000 people and put on global television. I would just like some peace please.
-- Desert Girl commentary end --
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Losing it to tunes
I think I’m going (have gone) mental. Now tell me, does this happen to any of you, or am I correct in my assumption that it is just me….
Every morning, I wake up to a different random song. Kind of like Eli Stone, but not only limited to George Michael, nor to any particular genre. I don’t know if it is a prediction of the type of day that I am about to have, or maybe a road map to the type of day I should have. Je ne sais pas. I take all this stuff as little gifts; like the birds that used to come tap on my window or sing or the minas that used to make noises like car alarms going off – precisely at the time I was supposed to wake up.
Every morning. Without fail. Always something. Now music.
Today, it was “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers. I don’t even like that song. It is too hokey for me. Yesterday, it was some dance tune. Usually, I have forgotten what song it was by the time I'm on my way out of the bathroom.
Have I lost it for real? Ok, I’ll know when I have really lost it when ANYTHING by Michael Jackson works its way into my on-board playlist. God forbid that heavy metal should sneak in there. Would I go on a head-banging rampage? (If so, call this number - 24843900 - and report me. If you already know that number by memory, then it is time to report yourself.)
Can I download from my head?
Every morning, I wake up to a different random song. Kind of like Eli Stone, but not only limited to George Michael, nor to any particular genre. I don’t know if it is a prediction of the type of day that I am about to have, or maybe a road map to the type of day I should have. Je ne sais pas. I take all this stuff as little gifts; like the birds that used to come tap on my window or sing or the minas that used to make noises like car alarms going off – precisely at the time I was supposed to wake up.
Every morning. Without fail. Always something. Now music.
Today, it was “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers. I don’t even like that song. It is too hokey for me. Yesterday, it was some dance tune. Usually, I have forgotten what song it was by the time I'm on my way out of the bathroom.
Have I lost it for real? Ok, I’ll know when I have really lost it when ANYTHING by Michael Jackson works its way into my on-board playlist. God forbid that heavy metal should sneak in there. Would I go on a head-banging rampage? (If so, call this number - 24843900 - and report me. If you already know that number by memory, then it is time to report yourself.)
Can I download from my head?
Monday, July 06, 2009
Eye yay yaaaay
I went to Hassans Opticians in Muthanna. I have been ordering my contacts at the Sharq locations (where I've always had great customer service) for years since they are the agents of Bauch & Lomb. I know I spelled that wrong. I did it on purpose. I can't see to google. Fekit.
Did you know that contact lenses are cheaper in Kuwait than they are in 'merica? Yup. Its true. Cheaper in price - a whole lot more expensive in terms of the Frustration Factor.
Isn't that true of a lot of things in Kuwait? Items/services are cheaper but then you factor in the frustration you have to go through to get it; is it all worth it? My sofa was - I love that thing - but OMG what I had to go through to get it made! sheeesh. I'm like the most patiently impatient person I know since I came to Kuwait.
I digress.
I figured that it was time to get my eyes tested again since I hadn’t done it in a few years, so I went to Muthanna where it is usually quieter. Dr. Dude did a quick exam and Sales Dude showed me frames. They explained that it could take “up to” 2 months to get my lenses. They’ve said that before, but I never had to wait that long. I found a pair of oo la la Escada frames; after much salesmen up-sell. They started me off at the KD 200 and up case. I was tired, I have only myself to blame; I paid more than I really wanted to pay, but whatever. They said the frames would take 20 days.20 days? For glasses??? So much for “Hour Eyes”! Jeez. In the States, you get them in an hour and sometimes while you’re waiting. What a crock. Anyhooooooo
My last pair of frames – 8 years ago – cost a whopping 10 KD from Noor Opticians. The only person who sees me in them is my dog. I just use them at night to watch TV before going to bed. They don’t have to be beautiful, but they are comfortable and after 8 years are still just fine.
After few weeks, I called back to see if the lenses might, by chance/by luck/by the Grace of God, be ready yet. Dr. Dude got on the phone and started shouting at me, “I TOLD you 2 months! ... and after my response of "unacceptable!" "LISTEN TO MEEE!” Oh no, he di’in’t. Kuwait’s faaaaaaaabulous customer service strikes again. Hey you with the money – give it to me now and then go to hell. In the world of sales, this is called “sell and go to hell”. Yessirreeebob. That’s what they expected me to do…. After KD 164. Cha-ching. It doesn’t even cost that much to go to the US on United right now (Summer fares are 150 KD r/t). Do you think that Hell is closer? Hmmmm. Subject to interpretation (or "Interpellation" since we are in Kuwait and they so love that word in the media).
Yet anyhooo again…. I, being the Angry White Woman that I am, called back and got their head office number. Talked to the receptionist who swore she could handle my problem. Talked to the HR manager who swore she could handle my problem. (No apologies so far…. ) Then I sent a fax to the owner. Somebody called me back and swore he could handle my problem. The next day, I get an e-mail from somebody else (how many? I lost count) who said that my contact lenses were in Customs. Whaaa - they can't see either? I waited… Ok so all told, it was purty dern close to 2 months when I finally got them. I got the glasses sooner, but no one would make eye contact (ha ha - no pun intended. really.)/look at me when I walked in the store and no one asked if I would like to have my glasses fit (which you’re supposed to do because as it turned out – they weren’t a good fit).
Please pardon my spelling mistakes. You see (I can't), as I write this, I can’t see my monitor (I know it is the big thing behind my coffee mug). Dr. Dude F’ed up – adding insult to injury or injury to insult as the case may be. They gave me the wrong prescription. I have headaches and I can't see. It's bad. I'm like Helen Keller behind the wheel: one hand on the wheel, the other on the road. I should fit in really well with everyone else out there.
I digress. As usual. B M C....
Blogs are so much better than comment cards because they are great therapy (and people see them).
I called the Muthanna branch to get my prescription and asked them to fax it or e-mail it to me. I literally couldn't get the lady to understand me. 12 (I counted) times, I tried in vain to give her my e-mail address. Nervous giggles at the other end of the phone. I finally asked her name. She was a DOCTOR somebody. WTF?! I asked where she got her degree and then gave up. In the Western world, if you are Dr. (firstname), you know you are screwed (like, "Dr. Jeff" or "Dr. Mindy"). Here, it seems to be the norm. Regardless, I knew I was screwed.
The Man is pleading with me to go back down to Hassans and fight for my money. I am so angry and I feel that I have been completely taken advantage of, but at the same time, not one person in that entire organization was an actual help to me. If anything, I’ve been yelled at (yo! me = customer) and no one has even said they were sorry. The Man is up for a good fight; I’m so close to vacation time that I don’t want to deal with their BS.
I can’t SEE! I have headaches. I hate Hassan’s.
I went back to Noor Opticians in Salmiya last night – to Dr. Vaheed, who has been there for 25 years. He remembered me when I walked in after 8 years. He smiled. He listened. He tried different things. He fit my glasses for me - making me more comfortable. He spoke to me calmly and without any quick movements. THAT is customer service. He is going to try to get me something else before I leave this week.
Don’t vendors understand the concept of competition? Don’t they realize that customers will just go somewhere else when they don’t get what they want? Make your customer happy; he/she'll come back.
I wrote back to the head office of Hassan’s and guess what – no response. Thanks. Another customer goes to the competition. Seeeeee ya (ha ha - I meant that)!
Did you know that contact lenses are cheaper in Kuwait than they are in 'merica? Yup. Its true. Cheaper in price - a whole lot more expensive in terms of the Frustration Factor.
Isn't that true of a lot of things in Kuwait? Items/services are cheaper but then you factor in the frustration you have to go through to get it; is it all worth it? My sofa was - I love that thing - but OMG what I had to go through to get it made! sheeesh. I'm like the most patiently impatient person I know since I came to Kuwait.
I digress.
I figured that it was time to get my eyes tested again since I hadn’t done it in a few years, so I went to Muthanna where it is usually quieter. Dr. Dude did a quick exam and Sales Dude showed me frames. They explained that it could take “up to” 2 months to get my lenses. They’ve said that before, but I never had to wait that long. I found a pair of oo la la Escada frames; after much salesmen up-sell. They started me off at the KD 200 and up case. I was tired, I have only myself to blame; I paid more than I really wanted to pay, but whatever. They said the frames would take 20 days.20 days? For glasses??? So much for “Hour Eyes”! Jeez. In the States, you get them in an hour and sometimes while you’re waiting. What a crock. Anyhooooooo
My last pair of frames – 8 years ago – cost a whopping 10 KD from Noor Opticians. The only person who sees me in them is my dog. I just use them at night to watch TV before going to bed. They don’t have to be beautiful, but they are comfortable and after 8 years are still just fine.
After few weeks, I called back to see if the lenses might, by chance/by luck/by the Grace of God, be ready yet. Dr. Dude got on the phone and started shouting at me, “I TOLD you 2 months! ... and after my response of "unacceptable!" "LISTEN TO MEEE!” Oh no, he di’in’t. Kuwait’s faaaaaaaabulous customer service strikes again. Hey you with the money – give it to me now and then go to hell. In the world of sales, this is called “sell and go to hell”. Yessirreeebob. That’s what they expected me to do…. After KD 164. Cha-ching. It doesn’t even cost that much to go to the US on United right now (Summer fares are 150 KD r/t). Do you think that Hell is closer? Hmmmm. Subject to interpretation (or "Interpellation" since we are in Kuwait and they so love that word in the media).
Yet anyhooo again…. I, being the Angry White Woman that I am, called back and got their head office number. Talked to the receptionist who swore she could handle my problem. Talked to the HR manager who swore she could handle my problem. (No apologies so far…. ) Then I sent a fax to the owner. Somebody called me back and swore he could handle my problem. The next day, I get an e-mail from somebody else (how many? I lost count) who said that my contact lenses were in Customs. Whaaa - they can't see either? I waited… Ok so all told, it was purty dern close to 2 months when I finally got them. I got the glasses sooner, but no one would make eye contact (ha ha - no pun intended. really.)/look at me when I walked in the store and no one asked if I would like to have my glasses fit (which you’re supposed to do because as it turned out – they weren’t a good fit).
Please pardon my spelling mistakes. You see (I can't), as I write this, I can’t see my monitor (I know it is the big thing behind my coffee mug). Dr. Dude F’ed up – adding insult to injury or injury to insult as the case may be. They gave me the wrong prescription. I have headaches and I can't see. It's bad. I'm like Helen Keller behind the wheel: one hand on the wheel, the other on the road. I should fit in really well with everyone else out there.
I digress. As usual. B M C....
Blogs are so much better than comment cards because they are great therapy (and people see them).
I called the Muthanna branch to get my prescription and asked them to fax it or e-mail it to me. I literally couldn't get the lady to understand me. 12 (I counted) times, I tried in vain to give her my e-mail address. Nervous giggles at the other end of the phone. I finally asked her name. She was a DOCTOR somebody. WTF?! I asked where she got her degree and then gave up. In the Western world, if you are Dr. (firstname), you know you are screwed (like, "Dr. Jeff" or "Dr. Mindy"). Here, it seems to be the norm. Regardless, I knew I was screwed.
The Man is pleading with me to go back down to Hassans and fight for my money. I am so angry and I feel that I have been completely taken advantage of, but at the same time, not one person in that entire organization was an actual help to me. If anything, I’ve been yelled at (yo! me = customer) and no one has even said they were sorry. The Man is up for a good fight; I’m so close to vacation time that I don’t want to deal with their BS.
I can’t SEE! I have headaches. I hate Hassan’s.
I went back to Noor Opticians in Salmiya last night – to Dr. Vaheed, who has been there for 25 years. He remembered me when I walked in after 8 years. He smiled. He listened. He tried different things. He fit my glasses for me - making me more comfortable. He spoke to me calmly and without any quick movements. THAT is customer service. He is going to try to get me something else before I leave this week.
Don’t vendors understand the concept of competition? Don’t they realize that customers will just go somewhere else when they don’t get what they want? Make your customer happy; he/she'll come back.
I wrote back to the head office of Hassan’s and guess what – no response. Thanks. Another customer goes to the competition. Seeeeee ya (ha ha - I meant that)!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Battle of wits with an unarmed militia
Ya know how you get closer to vacation time when everything starts pissing you off and you just can't wait to get on the plane - even though:
1) there have been 2 plane crashes recently and they always happen in 3's; and
2) every idiot you meet or knows that you are going to the US has something catchy to say like, "Aren't you afraid of the H1N1 virus?"
Time for vacation. I'm so there.
I'm glad I'm not travelling on an Airbus. About the swine flu: I guess like other things in life, it is the luck of the draw. I would probably be more likely to get killed on the Gulf Road, but who knows? Swine flu fears have worked in my favor lately - especially as it pertains to personal space. All I need to do is to start coughing loudly and wipe the invisible perspiration off my forehead and people BACK OFF (except for those who never cover their mouths when they cough, never wash their hands, and think that sneezing in your face/vacinity is acceptable behavior).
Speaking of death and dying: I loved Farah. I looked just like her when I was 19 and had the same hair (I lie). I looked like Madonna (I lie again). Ok, inside my mind, I did.
I'm sick of hearing about Michael Jackson. Ok, so rest in peace and all that. Can we get over it now (LINDA???) ? Do you think that Michael's corpse will really be crynogenically frozen? Do you think he was already - several years ago? I don't know of anyone ever looking so unhealthy - ever. Do you? Anyhoo, I do love the jokes in poor taste, however. I've been getting a lot of those. You know it was inevitable. For example, "Michael Jackson's upcoming London dates have been cancelled. They were James (aged 9) and Thomas (aged 11)." and "Cause of Death: The Boogie." That is just wrong and I would never repeat that type of thing... it is so distasteful. I love CSI so maybe they'll have a future episode - completely unrelated to the Michael tragedy but in some ways similar; like they did with Anna Nicole.
Amongst other things, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist. Fascinating.
And auto mechanic
And stunt car driver
And Air Force pilot
And (believe it or not) housewife (that just made me giggle, but its true - I did.)
Ok, I still want to have a horse farm/dog sanctuary in my old age.
1) there have been 2 plane crashes recently and they always happen in 3's; and
2) every idiot you meet or knows that you are going to the US has something catchy to say like, "Aren't you afraid of the H1N1 virus?"
Time for vacation. I'm so there.
I'm glad I'm not travelling on an Airbus. About the swine flu: I guess like other things in life, it is the luck of the draw. I would probably be more likely to get killed on the Gulf Road, but who knows? Swine flu fears have worked in my favor lately - especially as it pertains to personal space. All I need to do is to start coughing loudly and wipe the invisible perspiration off my forehead and people BACK OFF (except for those who never cover their mouths when they cough, never wash their hands, and think that sneezing in your face/vacinity is acceptable behavior).
Speaking of death and dying: I loved Farah. I looked just like her when I was 19 and had the same hair (I lie). I looked like Madonna (I lie again). Ok, inside my mind, I did.
I'm sick of hearing about Michael Jackson. Ok, so rest in peace and all that. Can we get over it now (LINDA???) ? Do you think that Michael's corpse will really be crynogenically frozen? Do you think he was already - several years ago? I don't know of anyone ever looking so unhealthy - ever. Do you? Anyhoo, I do love the jokes in poor taste, however. I've been getting a lot of those. You know it was inevitable. For example, "Michael Jackson's upcoming London dates have been cancelled. They were James (aged 9) and Thomas (aged 11)." and "Cause of Death: The Boogie." That is just wrong and I would never repeat that type of thing... it is so distasteful. I love CSI so maybe they'll have a future episode - completely unrelated to the Michael tragedy but in some ways similar; like they did with Anna Nicole.
Amongst other things, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist. Fascinating.
And auto mechanic
And stunt car driver
And Air Force pilot
And (believe it or not) housewife (that just made me giggle, but its true - I did.)
Ok, I still want to have a horse farm/dog sanctuary in my old age.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Oxygen? We don't need no stinkin OXYGEN!
I had a meeting in Sulaibiya today. The municipality is chopping down trees there also.
Hey - let's make Kuwait a place where our children won't be able to breathe! Reduce oxygen because we don't need it anyways. We have industrial pollutants that will be just fine. We don't need to think coherently or increase brain activity .... who cares?
While Kuwait chops down trees and oxygen-producing foliage of various types, other countries take a different approach to sustainability...
"(CNN) -- Walk past the southern face of the Musée du Quai Branly, Paris, and you will be greeted by a massive wall of brilliant green foliage -- an 8,600 square feet plant installation by the designer Patrick Blanc, featuring more than 170 different species.
One of Patrick Blanc's green walls on the Hotel du Department in Hauts-de-Seine, France.
The mass of leaves and flowers seems to be swallowing the building -- and provides a proud symbol of resurgent nature in this busy, downtown district.
One of Patrick Blanc's green walls on the Hotel du Department in Hauts-de-Seine, France.
The mass of leaves and flowers seems to be swallowing the building -- and provides a proud symbol of resurgent nature in this busy, downtown district.
The amazing spectacle is one of the largest in a growing number of "plant walls" or "
Some visionaries even believe that soon we could be harvesting our food from the places where we live and work.
Architect Ken Yeang is the world's leading green skyscraper architect and a passionate advocate of what is already being called "vegitecture". (continued)..."
Restaurant Sells Heroine-tainted Food to Customers
Arab Times, 29 June 2009, Kuwait : Restaurant selling heroine-tainted food to customers
A well-known restaurant at an unidentified location is said to be serving food to customers tainted with heroin, reports Al-Shahid daily quoting reliable sources.
This, the daily said, is done to attract more customers.However, the daily added acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant by the Public Prosecution raided the restaurant but nothing unusual was found.
The daily said the owner of the restaurant is an influential personality and reportedly got information from security sources that there would be a raid on the restaurant.But the daily quoting a worker, who did not disclose his name, has allegedly admitted that the owner mixes ‘something’ in the food and calls it a special spice to make the food tasty.
- end -
Um, I don’t think anyone would want to spend the type of money it would take to lace the food with heroine. I smell bullshit. This sounds suspiciously like someone wants dude out of business.
DG Questions:
I’m addicted to sushi. Do you think someone laced my California roll?
I'm addicted to machboos laham. Do you think someone laced the rice?
People are addicted to McDonalds’ Quarter Pounders (without cheese). Do you think that could be the restaurant?
A well-known restaurant at an unidentified location is said to be serving food to customers tainted with heroin, reports Al-Shahid daily quoting reliable sources.
This, the daily said, is done to attract more customers.However, the daily added acting on information and armed with a search and arrest warrant by the Public Prosecution raided the restaurant but nothing unusual was found.
The daily said the owner of the restaurant is an influential personality and reportedly got information from security sources that there would be a raid on the restaurant.But the daily quoting a worker, who did not disclose his name, has allegedly admitted that the owner mixes ‘something’ in the food and calls it a special spice to make the food tasty.
- end -
Um, I don’t think anyone would want to spend the type of money it would take to lace the food with heroine. I smell bullshit. This sounds suspiciously like someone wants dude out of business.
DG Questions:
I’m addicted to sushi. Do you think someone laced my California roll?
I'm addicted to machboos laham. Do you think someone laced the rice?
People are addicted to McDonalds’ Quarter Pounders (without cheese). Do you think that could be the restaurant?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Al Marsa, Le Meridien: Worst Customer Service EVER
I had dinner with Slapperella on Thursday night. We were going to go to Ashas at Marina Crescent, but when we drove by, it looked like a scene from Westside Story: What looked like several hundred teenaged boys looking for a fight. Where the hell is the security?!
Anyhoo, we drove by, not wanting to stop, and headed for Al Marsa in Le Meridien on the Gulf Road. We have been there frequently before, but stopped going when the competition started to impress us: Fish Market, Totally Fish, and our favorite, Housny in Hawalli. Al Marsa is expensive - no doubt about it - but the food has always been fantastic.
There used to be a really nice manager there – a big Egyptian guy, Mohammed, who made us feel like we were visiting family whenever we walked into the restaurant. He knew us by name and always ran over with a big smile to welcome us. He’s gone now.
We arrived and were seated right away. The very nice farraj brought us coffee and dates immediately and was very pleasant and friendly. The waitress took our order. Our appetizers arrived pretty quickly right after. We were off to a good start.
…. Cut to an hour later (I’m not exaggerating). The waitress had disappeared. The farraj bussed the tables and ran around trying to take care of the guests. One waiter was in the corner of the room with his back to the few patrons in the restaurant, folding napkins. The manager and hostess (without the “mostest”; a woman who never once smiled the entire time we were there and never made eye contact) were heads-down in conversation at another corner of the room.
I’m usually the instigator of trouble; Slaps usually waits for me to take the lead before she has words, but she rarely blows her top. Thursday was the exception. I guess we had both had a long week. We waited and tried to get someone's attention. Slaps finally got up and walked up to the new manager and asked him why no one had stopped by our table (Slaps was being kind when she said we had only been waiting 30 minutes)? He immediately began a lengthy tirade about how long fish takes to cook. I couldn’t hear them talking (she told me after), but by visuals alone (body language), he was getting quite defensive.
Slaps came back to the table. The manager followed and continued his diatribe to me about why fish takes a long time to cook. I couldn’t have cared less. I wanted the ice for my water that the waitress had promised me an hour ago. We had our appetizers; we were okay with waiting for the fish. I asked him why he was arguing with us over something we hadn’t asked him (why fish takes so long to cook). He (raising his voice) stated that he wasn’t arguing and continued to argue. Arguing about arguing!
Anyways, this went on and on and I finally told him to get the duty manager, who came down and was very nice. THEN the hostess showed up out of no where and started pouring water…. We told her to buzz off. We never got our fish because we were so angry that we walked out. The (first) manager didn’t care at all – he just gave us dirty looks on our way out.
1) High quality restaurant should = high quality service. If I expected low quality service, I would have gone to a fast-food restaurant.
2) I could understand if this type of behavior had been from a junior-level employee, but a “manager”?
3) The Al Marsa currently has a LOT of competition in the market. Food and service are the only things they have going for them. They have already lost on price and venue (in a basement with no windows).
4) There were very few customers in the restaurant.
5) Eye contact and smiling is free and good customer service. If you don't agree with a customer, put on your best "F. you" smile and get on with it.
6) NEVER (I repeat) NEVER argue with a customer.
7) Never raise your voice to a customer.
8) Never give a customer a dirty look on their way out the door – regardless of what happened. They will leave, tell their friends, post about it on their blog, and probably never return to the restaurant.
Slaps and I wondered if the manager would have behaved as badly had we been men. I doubt it. I think if we were two western men, we would have received much better service. The two Kuwaiti men seated behind us appeared to have been treated well, as did the mixed-nationality table across the room.
Giving credit where credit is due: Le Meridien is a beautiful little hotel. It is somewhat of a boutique hotel if you will. It reminds me of good-quality hotels in the US and UK. The décor instills confidence that the quality of service will be good. The valet parkers and junior level staff all have good attitudes.
Unfortunately, it is almost always empty whenever I go there and perhaps it is because of these incidents (even if they are isolated incidents) of horrible customer service. News of bad service spreads quickly; only takes a few times for people to hear about it.
Desert Girl Al Marsa embargo ON.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Anti-AFL Facebook Group & Puppy Education
Facebook Group:
ANIMAL FRIENDS LEAGUE IS A RIP-OFF THEY MURDER INNOCENT ANIMALS!!
Ufffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I came across this group doing a search for the Animal Friends League's group. The only reason I joined this group (against AFL) is so that I could post on their wall. There are a lot of big names as members on this Facebook group - and I hope that they are there for the same reason I was - either to see what is going on, or to comment about it. The group's wall posts contain lots of angry finger-pointing and negativity - where the same people could be using their powers for good. Further, I urge anyone with money and/or land and a love for animals to put their money where their mouth (fingers) is. Build and donate a shelter or sanctuary and/or land. Hey - plant trees on it!
The group (AFLiaROTMIA) makes an issue about the fact that someone hasn't seen a bunch of puppies that they dropped off - assuming that they have been "brutally killed". If you have ever been to the AFL founders' home, you will see a managerie of animals; They also have animals at the shelter. They could have been at one place or the other.
When I dropped off Rocky last night, I inquired more about euthanasia at the shelter. Their policy is similar to many shelters in the US. AFL does not euthanize animals unless they have been evaluated by a behavioral specialist (on staff) and determined to be potentially harmful to adopters; or if they are too sick to save; or sick enough (as in cases of parvo) where they will infect other animals. LENGTH OF STAY at the shelter is not a factor in AFL's decision to euthanize animals; they have animals have been there for over a year (many Western shelter do euthanize animals after 30 days or more). AFL also tries to send longer length of stay animal residents to the US to be adopted. (When you drop off an animal, you can request that "Should the decision be made to euthanize this animal, I would like AFL to return it to me." Which is what I did with Rocky.)
Having said that, it is important to note that dogs do not do well in kennel situations from the age of 6 months and upwards. They get kennel stress and develop mental problems. Shelters are not sactuaries; they don't have the facilities. AFL is a shelter, not a sanctuary. They count on both staff and volunteers to play with the animals and provide socialization. This is what really concerns me about Rocky because he's such a playful guy and I didn't like to see him alone in a cell.
AFL will euthanize animals in cases of sickness: Parvo is VERY prevalent in Kuwait. Parvo is an extremely contageous disease spread between animals. Dogs must be vaccinated when they are puppies - early on - so they don't get the disease. My own dog gets her booster shots for Parvo (and other diseases) EVERY year. Owning an animal is a responsibility! If the puppies mentioned on this anti-AFL group had Parvo, it would have been necessary to put them to sleep (euthanize them). Most shelters in the US have a quarantine section for new arrivals to ensure that they don't have Parvo.
Distemper is also very common in Kuwait. Pets will come down with neurological problems and the shakes. Animals with distemper must be humanely euthanized. They can not function (and neither could you) with brain damage. Well, I take that back... I've seen a lot of folks around here lately that appear to be brain-damaged....
Puppy care is extremely important. Strays are just that - stray; no one has provided medical assistance for them at an early stage. No one knows their history; what they could have gotten into, eaten, etc. Most puppies need to be immediately de-wormed. (I have heard cases in Kuwait where people have quite literally thrown their very-expensive and/or rare puppies on the street because they had worms!).
You don't just get a cat or dog and then BAM! He's part of the furniture. Nooooooo. For example:
Stages of Puppy Care
1) Nutrition!
Puppies must have puppy food (proper vitamins) and milk.
Not adult dog food. Not a mixture of table scraps!
You wouldn't feed your baby chicken and rice at 2 months - why would you think that a baby puppy could eat it and grow up free of health problems? Without milk, for example, a puppy's bones will not form normally and he may not be able to walk correctly.
2) De-worming
Usually done through a week-long course of pills.
3) Shots (Vaccinations)
Shots against disease start the week after the de-worming pills are complete. They are a series of 2 or 3 shots given over a period of several weeks. Shots should include: Parvo, distemper, rabies. Humans can get - and die from rabies. Have your pet vaccinated!
ASK A VET
Go to the source
Educate yourself
I miss the Brindle Puppy
I took Rocky to the AFL shelter last night and I'm so upset. I think he knew what I was going to do. Just look at his face!
We hugged for a long time and I told him to be happy and to have a good life and that everything will be ok.
Will it? Somebody tell me it will be ok.
Desert Dawg is just too old and too persnickety to get along well with other dogs - let alone one like Rocky who couldn't help himself when it came to being playful and nipping at her. She was an emotional wreck - cowering on the bed and shivering. I don't know to what degree it was Desert Dawg Drama or what degree it was pure anxiety. She is a bit of a Fairy Princess. Unfortunately, since she was so traumatized, I couldn't keep Rocky around any longer.
We drove down to Animal Friends League's shelter in Wafra. I wasn't impressed by the drive - almost an hour down a road with blowing sands and dips in the road. I discovered along the way that the last time my Envoy was serviced, they forgot to bolt on the front left side of the bumper, so it was banging in the wind all the way down there.
I was impressed by the shelter. It is hidden away from public view - I'm sure to protect the animal occupants - but once you get inside, it is a modern shelter facility cleaner than any I have seen in the US. There were lots of other puppies of Rocky's size, age, and questionable lineage. I know he'll have friends. I also know he is the most special.
In the few days that I had him (4 in total) he learned several commands and how to walk on a leash. That is actually faster than it took Desert Dawg and I consider her quite smart. He is also quiet. I had to lock him in my big bathroom (it is more of a bathroom suite) during the day and he didn't make a sound - even when I got home and walked around.
I also love his color! If you look at his face (forehead), you can see another face in the design of his coloring. It looks like a raccoon.
I guess it was 4 days too long to keep him. I should have driven him to the shelter the day after I found him, but it is now too late. I'm in love and worried sick about how he's doing in his doggy-cell. I hope they gave him his toys.
Girls are fickle. Desert Dawg spent all of last night searching for Rocky both inside and outside the house. She woke up in the morning looking for him and stared at me as if I had done something terribly wrong when I left to work.
Sadness.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Kuwait's Scorched Earth Policy
I don't understand it. Why does Kuwait bare the expense of hiring drivers with bulldozers and backhos when they could just use napalm? It's inexpensive, easy, and does the same job: It scorches the earth leaving a bare patch with nothing but sand left.
There were lots of trees along the Ta'awn (sp?) Street (Bilajat extension towards 6) in front of Rumaithiya yesterday when I left for work. When I got home, there was literally a parade of dump trucks, bulldozers - you name it - clearing the land. Almost everything is now gone. People stood in front of their homes with sorrowful faces, watching it happen. It was an invasion. Why ruin nature?
His Highness The Amir's home is very closeby. I know he's a man who loves beauty - just look at Beit Salwa - gorgeous. Why cut down trees so close to his home?
Please tell me that they are planning to plant grass and trees along the route - like the seaside in front of Salmiya. Please tell me. Please. I'm looking for something comforting about this distressing situation today.
I know that Kuwait is now, in broad and general terms, the "State of Apathy", but you would think that someone, somewhere, somehow might voice even a RELIGIOUS concern - as the Quran does indeed say something about the goodness of foliage. If "church and state" is not divided in Kuwait, then someone needs to GET ON THIS.
I could understand if the plants posed a threat to traffic. I could understand if there were structures on the sites that should have been removed, but PLANTS? Palm trees? Bushes? Why Kuwait? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Mark at 248AM blogged about this subject also at HERE with photos. This is happening all over Kuwait.
People in other countries are PLANTING trees, and in Kuwait, the government has a policy of tearing them up.
There were lots of trees along the Ta'awn (sp?) Street (Bilajat extension towards 6) in front of Rumaithiya yesterday when I left for work. When I got home, there was literally a parade of dump trucks, bulldozers - you name it - clearing the land. Almost everything is now gone. People stood in front of their homes with sorrowful faces, watching it happen. It was an invasion. Why ruin nature?
His Highness The Amir's home is very closeby. I know he's a man who loves beauty - just look at Beit Salwa - gorgeous. Why cut down trees so close to his home?
Please tell me that they are planning to plant grass and trees along the route - like the seaside in front of Salmiya. Please tell me. Please. I'm looking for something comforting about this distressing situation today.
I know that Kuwait is now, in broad and general terms, the "State of Apathy", but you would think that someone, somewhere, somehow might voice even a RELIGIOUS concern - as the Quran does indeed say something about the goodness of foliage. If "church and state" is not divided in Kuwait, then someone needs to GET ON THIS.
I could understand if the plants posed a threat to traffic. I could understand if there were structures on the sites that should have been removed, but PLANTS? Palm trees? Bushes? Why Kuwait? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Mark at 248AM blogged about this subject also at HERE with photos. This is happening all over Kuwait.
People in other countries are PLANTING trees, and in Kuwait, the government has a policy of tearing them up.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Affectionate Young Boy Seeks Home
If anyone knows someone who might be looking for a puppy, I'm looking for a good home for this little guy. He's kind of like a floppy plush toy with muscle mass. I've named him "Rocky" (it was that or "Cuervo", "Fendi" or "Spaz"). The vet says he's 3-4 months old and will probably be a medium-sized dog. He's got gorgous brindle coloring and he's very smart: he's well on his way to being completely housebroken; he plays fetch very well; he seems to have a comprehension of "NO!" and he's a quiet guy. I think he'd be good with children as he's just sweet and shy. He's very healthy and playful - seems to be into pillows at the moment. He also gets along well with other dogs (although he's pissing Desert Dawg off by chasing her around - she's old and not at all amused).
Rock Star of Questionable Parentage: Could be some kind of shepard / Koocheedog / Caravan Hound / Rampur Hound (ok, so google it - I'm not making this up) desert dawg mix.
I've got a week (starting puppy series and a little training) and then he's off to Animal Friends League. If you know anyone who would be good to him, please have them e-mail me. I consider taking ownership of a pet to be a life-long (theirs, not just yours) committment on the part of adopters, so please keep that in mind.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Peeve for The Day
I seem to be all about feminism today....
But, this pisses me off....
So, I work in an office with mostly men. I am one of only2 female managers. My office is in the middle of a long line of management offices (occupied by men), surrounded by cubicles with engineers and other technical staff. Management offices are enclosed with glass windows and wood doors. It is quite a long walk down the hallway from the main door - past a male and 2 female AA's, past conference rooms and other management offices - to reach my office.
Why is it then, pray tell, that MEN walk into my office, without feeling the need to have themselves announced, to ask me if I am "the secretary for... (some man)"? WTF!
Why is it ok to see breastssses and assume that the one wearing them is a "secretary"?
It should be common sense. Look at our office layout.
Ok, I am sure I could have been more diplomatic - today - but I'm cranky and so therefore, I bit his head off.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Mosquito Bite on my Elbow
Have you ever had a mosquito bite on your elbow? WTF?! is it only ME??? I don't get it. It is so uncomfortable. What a terrible place to get bitten. I don't even think much about my elbows and then - WABAM! All I can do now is think about my elbow. Why me?
And now... for something completely different....
I had a very nice time last night meeting military contracting officials from Arifjan. They're definately getting a more approachable, friendly group. I'm sorry that LTC Kiser is leaving Kuwait. He seems like such a nice guy. I am happy, however, to learn that a female Commander of the Contracting Command (Southwest Asia- Kuwait) will be FEMALE. We have a female ambassador, a female commercial counselor, and now a female commander of contracting. WAY COOL! You go, girls! (Women)
It makes my job a wholelot easier because my misguided management immediately believes that we are all in some kind of secret society or something: just being female. "You can go talk to them, you're female too...." Yeah? And?
See, it's like this in my perspective: It's all about mixing up the perspectives. We've had old white dudes around for a long time (ok, Sunny Busa as commerical counselor stirred it up a bit as a Filipino/American in Kuwait) and now there is a different perspective on things. I'm liking it.
When Sunny first came to Kuwait, I heard a story that he went to one of the ministries to meet with a minister... when he got to security, a junior level security guard told him to wait on the sidelines, brushing him off as a mandoob or driver of the commercial counselor. I heard this story from an Undersecretary friend. Guess they were expecting old white dude. NOT.
Anyhoo, back to my story, I enjoyed my dinner meeting last night - even though I almost missed it because my powernap went into overtime. Hurling myself from bed, I didn't even manage to get full make-up on before running for the door.
Neither the Banker nor the Chairman showed up. Bummer. Probably better because I wasn't in full make up and my hair was kind of weird. I'm trying new things - like anything I can find in my refrigerator and my bathroom on my head as conditioner. Mayonaise, olive oil, caster oil, rosemary infused oil, safflower oil, 12 different kinds of conditioner... whatever. The hair on my LEGS grew overnight, but my head...
How bout that dust storm? Holy snap! I left the meeting and was met with a wall of dust (and airborne spores most likely). Free abrasive facial treatment right thar, so it was.
I'm in a bit of a funk this week. All of a sudden, I want to get hair extensions, liposuction, and have my teeth straightened. I don't know what brought this about. I just want it - and now. I have had a week of long, boring meetings and not too much (personal-related) social activity - unless discussions with my dog and the cats counts.
Speaking of the cats, I fear that something sinister has become of Petey, the black cat. He's been MIA for 2 weeks now. He's a bit of an adventurous cat, so he may have met his demise in the engine of a car; or most likely - by crossing a street at night (with his pupils completely dialated, you can't see him at all). I miss him. His brother and sister seem to be upset about it too. Now it is just down to P2; Paint and Petunia.
If one more person tells me that I need to get a life, I am going to smack them. Purgy - don't even go there. I know where to find you....
Hey - here's a little bit of somewhat-useful information for you: The Movenpick in the Free Trade Zone has a Brazilian restaurant, Churascaria. Wooooo hoooooo! And I have COUPONS. I am like the Queen of Coupons. People just show up and give them to me. Unfortunately, a lotta times it is during my psuedo-diet phase when I am perpetuatin' a diet. Anyhoo, I can't wait to go there and try it. I have had bad, bad, bad experiences in the Movenpick FTZ on many different visits, so I vowed never to return, but now I have COUPONS! and they have BRAZILIAN steaks with gauchos carrying meat on sticks.... what's a girl gonna do?
I also got invited to try the new Sakura at Shaab, compliments of the Crowne Plaza staff. They are so kind to me. I love them. They always include me when a new restaurant opens and a big shout out to them for their outstanding PR. My friend, Myrna, is the manager for the Rib Eye and Ahmadi restaurants in Farwaniya and if you ever have a chance to say hello to her, I encourage you to go and do it. She works ALL the time, has much worse of a social life than I do ("You have no life, Desert Girl" - I can say it; you can't.) and ... here's the kicker because you wouldn't know it... she's the only American restaurant manager that the CP/Holiday Inn chain in Kuwait has. Go say hi. She's such a sweet person.
And now... for something completely different....
I had a very nice time last night meeting military contracting officials from Arifjan. They're definately getting a more approachable, friendly group. I'm sorry that LTC Kiser is leaving Kuwait. He seems like such a nice guy. I am happy, however, to learn that a female Commander of the Contracting Command (Southwest Asia- Kuwait) will be FEMALE. We have a female ambassador, a female commercial counselor, and now a female commander of contracting. WAY COOL! You go, girls! (Women)
It makes my job a wholelot easier because my misguided management immediately believes that we are all in some kind of secret society or something: just being female. "You can go talk to them, you're female too...." Yeah? And?
See, it's like this in my perspective: It's all about mixing up the perspectives. We've had old white dudes around for a long time (ok, Sunny Busa as commerical counselor stirred it up a bit as a Filipino/American in Kuwait) and now there is a different perspective on things. I'm liking it.
When Sunny first came to Kuwait, I heard a story that he went to one of the ministries to meet with a minister... when he got to security, a junior level security guard told him to wait on the sidelines, brushing him off as a mandoob or driver of the commercial counselor. I heard this story from an Undersecretary friend. Guess they were expecting old white dude. NOT.
Anyhoo, back to my story, I enjoyed my dinner meeting last night - even though I almost missed it because my powernap went into overtime. Hurling myself from bed, I didn't even manage to get full make-up on before running for the door.
Neither the Banker nor the Chairman showed up. Bummer. Probably better because I wasn't in full make up and my hair was kind of weird. I'm trying new things - like anything I can find in my refrigerator and my bathroom on my head as conditioner. Mayonaise, olive oil, caster oil, rosemary infused oil, safflower oil, 12 different kinds of conditioner... whatever. The hair on my LEGS grew overnight, but my head...
How bout that dust storm? Holy snap! I left the meeting and was met with a wall of dust (and airborne spores most likely). Free abrasive facial treatment right thar, so it was.
I'm in a bit of a funk this week. All of a sudden, I want to get hair extensions, liposuction, and have my teeth straightened. I don't know what brought this about. I just want it - and now. I have had a week of long, boring meetings and not too much (personal-related) social activity - unless discussions with my dog and the cats counts.
Speaking of the cats, I fear that something sinister has become of Petey, the black cat. He's been MIA for 2 weeks now. He's a bit of an adventurous cat, so he may have met his demise in the engine of a car; or most likely - by crossing a street at night (with his pupils completely dialated, you can't see him at all). I miss him. His brother and sister seem to be upset about it too. Now it is just down to P2; Paint and Petunia.
If one more person tells me that I need to get a life, I am going to smack them. Purgy - don't even go there. I know where to find you....
Hey - here's a little bit of somewhat-useful information for you: The Movenpick in the Free Trade Zone has a Brazilian restaurant, Churascaria. Wooooo hoooooo! And I have COUPONS. I am like the Queen of Coupons. People just show up and give them to me. Unfortunately, a lotta times it is during my psuedo-diet phase when I am perpetuatin' a diet. Anyhoo, I can't wait to go there and try it. I have had bad, bad, bad experiences in the Movenpick FTZ on many different visits, so I vowed never to return, but now I have COUPONS! and they have BRAZILIAN steaks with gauchos carrying meat on sticks.... what's a girl gonna do?
I also got invited to try the new Sakura at Shaab, compliments of the Crowne Plaza staff. They are so kind to me. I love them. They always include me when a new restaurant opens and a big shout out to them for their outstanding PR. My friend, Myrna, is the manager for the Rib Eye and Ahmadi restaurants in Farwaniya and if you ever have a chance to say hello to her, I encourage you to go and do it. She works ALL the time, has much worse of a social life than I do ("You have no life, Desert Girl" - I can say it; you can't.) and ... here's the kicker because you wouldn't know it... she's the only American restaurant manager that the CP/Holiday Inn chain in Kuwait has. Go say hi. She's such a sweet person.
Monday, June 15, 2009
My Dinner Date in Jahra
There is a Copthorne Hotel and Resort in Jahra. Did anyone else know this? Fascinating! I went there over the weekend because we were looking for a new adventure. I don’t think I would have gone with a girl because we would probably been harassed by roaming teenaged boys (there was more than one police car in the parking lot and we witnessed several women in niqab shouting at hooligans). I was the only woman there who wasn’t wearing niqab and all the black (except the waitresses in Awtar Libnan – which, by the by, is one of my favorite restaurants). I didn’t get stared at very much at all and no one bothered us.
This is taken from the hotel’s website:
Al-Jahra Copthorne Hotel & Resort: The Al-Jahra Copthorne Hotel & Resort is Located in Al-Jahra City, 20 minutes away from Kuwait International Airport and 20 minutes from Kuwait City Center (not unless you are driving at 2 am). The hotel is ideally located for business in the north of Kuwait and Business related to Iraq. The Hotel is part of the “ Slayil Al-Jahra Tourist Resort” and has a shopping mall, theme park and numerous restaurants nearby. The hotel has 3 floors and consists of 201 well appointed and tastefully decorated guest rooms and 60 Chalets with two and three bedroom, suites with 5 stars amenities and service.
Theme Park:
A new theme park based on superhero characters of The 99 Comics (I didn’t know this! COOL.) has been opened within the Slayel Al-Jahra Resort in Jahra, reports the Kuwait Times. Developed by the United Entertainment and Tourism Company (UETC) and the Tashkeel Media Group, the theme park has been dubbed The 99 Village and the companies plan to produce six additional parks in as many years.
- end –
I have heard that a Sanousi owns it. They are cool folks and one of my very fondest memories is when one of the Sanousi boys cooked mrubian when we were all together in Rockville. Anyways, good for you, Sanousis … sanaeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
Ok, I ramble.
Planting a hotel (with meeting facilities) at the end of 6th Ring Road close to the northern military camps is just plain good business and quite insightful on the part of the owners. They’re providing the only hotel in the area as well as good, clean entertainment for the kids in Jahra. Outstanding! As I said, there was security around and the facility is very clean and for a Friday night, not overwhelmingly crowded with people like the waterfront in Salmiya (for example).
The shopping center has a pool with swan boats in the middle and grassy areas where a lot of people were sitting to watch live music. It was really very nice. I was SMSing Slapperella with my commentary and she asked me if I was planning to ride one of the duck/swan boats. Ok, a blonde in a T-shirt was spectacle enough, but a blonde in a t-shirt riding in a duck would be inciting to riot. LOL.
On the way home, we stopped to look for a DVD store in downtown Jahra. That was an adventure in itself, but really not as adventurous as I had expected. I guess I expected wilder and it was more like Farwaniya; only all the people were really short. Hmmm. I don’t know why, but they looked like Mini Cooper-drivin midgets. Very odd.
We took the long road to get up to Jahra. I hadn’t been down the road along the bay in Sulaibikhat for years and I’m glad we went that route (after shopping at the fabric souq and Baskin Robins at Sharq) because it has really changed. I guess the land reclamation has begun.
Kuwait is a changin’, isn’t it?
Monday, June 08, 2009
Giddyup Cowgirl!
I want one of these (and I know that you secretly want one too). "Healthcare products" from Al-Yousifi!
I'm pretty sure that it could enhance my swing - although not necessarily for golf. I do believe my muscles have "weakened" recently. I want it.
Desert Girl Questions (on everybody's mind)
- "Insufficient exercise" - As in where?
- Is it customizable?
- What are the settings?
I am wondering where I could put it that polite company won't see it when they come over. Most of my friends would be just fine (Slapperella has cowboy boots with spurs and I'm pretty sure she has matching chaps), but yaaaaneeee - what happens if my mother comes to visit?
Yeeeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaaa
Funny that - I want steak right now.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
My Stupid Sign
I went to get my hair done last week at Images. I’m hair-shopping to find the right fit. I’m hair-monogamous, but I’ve just decided that 70KD is more than I am willing to spend every 6 weeks (that's like a car payment). I had been going to Strands for 4 years and prior to that, to Cutting Edge for 4 years. @70 kd/every 6 weeks – well, you do the math.
When I got the bill at Images, it was way more than I expected (and I wasn’t happy with the outcome). When I first asked, lady said 25 KD for highlights. I asked her to put in 4 brown strands. For that, she charged me 15 KD. That’s a whole lot of money for a little bit of effort- and we’re not talking a Western big-time salon, either. Ok, no biggie. Perhaps my mistake. I didn’t stop to ask how much it would be. She asked me to come back in a week for a conditioning treatment. ‘How much?’ “11 KD” Ok, no biggie. Got the conditioning treatment. Went to pay…. “15 KD”
‘What? You told me 11 KD’
“Oh noooooo, you must have misunderstood.’
I have never misunderstood so much (apparently) as I have in Kuwait. Why do you think that is? Perhaps that I’m foreign and Western and I have a big sign on my forehead saying, “STUPID”?
This is why I record all my meetings – just so that we are all on the same page. According to some, I "misunderstood" during meetings as well - until, quite ironically, I started recording (and handing out either meeting minutes or CD in whatever format they preferred). It's a MIRACLE! People actually became a lot nicer to me during meetings: Attitude adjustment. Go figure. Maybe I should start recording all my salon sessions also? Just so we are all on the same page. Ridiculous! I know what she said.
The 11 vs 15 discussion continued into an argument. In Kuwait, one must fully understand that THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS WRONG. You must always just hand over your money to whoever and let it go because that is your place as a customer: You're stupid; Salesclerk is always a Rhodes scholar. Everybody knows it. So then, they then hand me their price list - “for next time” – so I won’t “misunderstand”. Let me let you in on a little secret – there won’t be another time. For a whopping 4KD, they lost a potential long-term customer (refer to the last sentence in Paragraph 1 above). They can keep their price list; I have no need for it.
I was about to book a massage. Miss Thang (although very nice) stood there the entire time saying, “What about your massage, Madame?” I told her, ‘You told me 25 KD for the massage. What does it really run – around 40?” Just so she doesn’t misunderstand.
Images used to tout themselves as “Western” because they had ONE stylist from the States. She doesn’t work there anymore. For 25 KD for a massage, I can go to the spa at Crowne Plaza and bask in luxury. Why would I want to do it in a converted apartment on the corner of a highway in Salmiya? I can do that for 5 KD at other little places in Salmiya, by the way.
As for my hair, it's fuched. I have had several "hair advisors" look at it and tell me that I have 3 months before it gets back into condition again. 70 KD isn't looking so terrible right now. Oh well, my hair shopping will continue. I have heard good things about Femme Fatale in Mangaf (not to be mistaken with La Femme Fatale who stole their name and logo image - as they do in Kuwait when a business is successful).
When I got the bill at Images, it was way more than I expected (and I wasn’t happy with the outcome). When I first asked, lady said 25 KD for highlights. I asked her to put in 4 brown strands. For that, she charged me 15 KD. That’s a whole lot of money for a little bit of effort- and we’re not talking a Western big-time salon, either. Ok, no biggie. Perhaps my mistake. I didn’t stop to ask how much it would be. She asked me to come back in a week for a conditioning treatment. ‘How much?’ “11 KD” Ok, no biggie. Got the conditioning treatment. Went to pay…. “15 KD”
‘What? You told me 11 KD’
“Oh noooooo, you must have misunderstood.’
I have never misunderstood so much (apparently) as I have in Kuwait. Why do you think that is? Perhaps that I’m foreign and Western and I have a big sign on my forehead saying, “STUPID”?
This is why I record all my meetings – just so that we are all on the same page. According to some, I "misunderstood" during meetings as well - until, quite ironically, I started recording (and handing out either meeting minutes or CD in whatever format they preferred). It's a MIRACLE! People actually became a lot nicer to me during meetings: Attitude adjustment. Go figure. Maybe I should start recording all my salon sessions also? Just so we are all on the same page. Ridiculous! I know what she said.
The 11 vs 15 discussion continued into an argument. In Kuwait, one must fully understand that THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS WRONG. You must always just hand over your money to whoever and let it go because that is your place as a customer: You're stupid; Salesclerk is always a Rhodes scholar. Everybody knows it. So then, they then hand me their price list - “for next time” – so I won’t “misunderstand”. Let me let you in on a little secret – there won’t be another time. For a whopping 4KD, they lost a potential long-term customer (refer to the last sentence in Paragraph 1 above). They can keep their price list; I have no need for it.
I was about to book a massage. Miss Thang (although very nice) stood there the entire time saying, “What about your massage, Madame?” I told her, ‘You told me 25 KD for the massage. What does it really run – around 40?” Just so she doesn’t misunderstand.
Images used to tout themselves as “Western” because they had ONE stylist from the States. She doesn’t work there anymore. For 25 KD for a massage, I can go to the spa at Crowne Plaza and bask in luxury. Why would I want to do it in a converted apartment on the corner of a highway in Salmiya? I can do that for 5 KD at other little places in Salmiya, by the way.
As for my hair, it's fuched. I have had several "hair advisors" look at it and tell me that I have 3 months before it gets back into condition again. 70 KD isn't looking so terrible right now. Oh well, my hair shopping will continue. I have heard good things about Femme Fatale in Mangaf (not to be mistaken with La Femme Fatale who stole their name and logo image - as they do in Kuwait when a business is successful).
Monday, June 01, 2009
Oh no he di’int!
This is one of my very top peeves: When you have met someone socially; they know you; and then…. They have their SECRETARY call you on the phone. “Hi, this is Flana from XYZ. Mr. Bu Flan would like to speak to you. Can you please hold while I transfer the line?” (WTF!? Did Bu Flan have a FINGER accident and he can’t dial his own phone?) And to resume…”Oh, I’m sorry, Ms. Desert Girl, but Bu Flan just picked up another call…..” Oh nooooooooooo, he di’int! They can both call me back for the rest of the day. I’m not picking up – and I have caller ID in my office too. Funk dat!
Who did this to you, pray tell, Desert Girl…. The BANKER! Oh, I am so never answering his calls ever ever again. Dumbass. He (or she) called me about 12 times after (he must have gotten off the phone). I sent an SMS, ‘Sorry. In a very important meeting. Thanks for your call.’ BADA BING (Ok, admittedly, I am doing the same thing – giving false impressions – as he just did to me, but it was in response – I didn’t initiate it.)
I’m not impressed by the 'tude. I have a secretary (that is her official BS Kuwaiti-given title, BTW – I would prefer to call her an “Administrative Assistant”). Everybody I know has a secretary. BFD. Even my undersecretary/royal/ambassador friends don’t have their secretaries call me! I HATE POSERS! Who DOES that? It is so 1950’s! Plus, it gives me the immediate impression that he/she is technically-challenged and probably can't use e-mail either. My knee-jerk reaction once I hear there is a secretary on the line is to immediately hang up. My loser-sensors start making that obnoxious noise inside my head.
I don’t care how busy you are – if you want to talk to me, talk directly to me. I don’t need someone to run interference.
I used to work for a dumbass who, when interviewing candidates, would make them wait in the lobby for at least 30 minutes, just to give the impression that he was a very busy man. Little did he know, that I would run out there and tell poor-pathetic-candidates to be ready to spend at least 30 minutes waiting because he was in there playing pocket polo while they got the impression that he was important. (Yes, I’m evil and I get paid for it.) I don’t believe in wasting time and I do believe in transparency.
Most posers are quite transparent – including Bu Flan above.
You want to impress me, Mofo? Make and keep appointments - and on time. Be direct and honest. Personally, I don’t have time for the head games and have seen enough BS in my (very short) lifetime to know better.
Who did this to you, pray tell, Desert Girl…. The BANKER! Oh, I am so never answering his calls ever ever again. Dumbass. He (or she) called me about 12 times after (he must have gotten off the phone). I sent an SMS, ‘Sorry. In a very important meeting. Thanks for your call.’ BADA BING (Ok, admittedly, I am doing the same thing – giving false impressions – as he just did to me, but it was in response – I didn’t initiate it.)
I’m not impressed by the 'tude. I have a secretary (that is her official BS Kuwaiti-given title, BTW – I would prefer to call her an “Administrative Assistant”). Everybody I know has a secretary. BFD. Even my undersecretary/royal/ambassador friends don’t have their secretaries call me! I HATE POSERS! Who DOES that? It is so 1950’s! Plus, it gives me the immediate impression that he/she is technically-challenged and probably can't use e-mail either. My knee-jerk reaction once I hear there is a secretary on the line is to immediately hang up. My loser-sensors start making that obnoxious noise inside my head.
I don’t care how busy you are – if you want to talk to me, talk directly to me. I don’t need someone to run interference.
I used to work for a dumbass who, when interviewing candidates, would make them wait in the lobby for at least 30 minutes, just to give the impression that he was a very busy man. Little did he know, that I would run out there and tell poor-pathetic-candidates to be ready to spend at least 30 minutes waiting because he was in there playing pocket polo while they got the impression that he was important. (Yes, I’m evil and I get paid for it.) I don’t believe in wasting time and I do believe in transparency.
Most posers are quite transparent – including Bu Flan above.
You want to impress me, Mofo? Make and keep appointments - and on time. Be direct and honest. Personally, I don’t have time for the head games and have seen enough BS in my (very short) lifetime to know better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
