Break Time

I've decided to take a break from posting for a while.  I've received some hate mail lately and I am trying to recharge my positive energy (a month out of Kuwait and getting over Mr. Clean (actually -  just down and out dirty), so any further negative energy being sent my way is not helpful; especially as it is anonymous and unnecessary.

I don't hate anyone and that vibe will just come back to get  you later, so your bad.

A few friends have been extreeeeeeeeemely helpful lately and I am grateful for your kindness, your warmth, and your support.  Naz, Hmood, Jaber - you are stand-up guys and brothers when I need you most (anyone who says, "I am going to KICK his ASS for you!" is good in my book).  My sister and my mom have held several pep talks and turned my head around.  Stella is always my rock.  "Who was there for you?  YOU were!"

New friends have been great lately too.  The Man Above has been sending me angels right and left.

So, blogpeeps, I'll be back when my battery is back at 100%.

(I don't like Johnny Depp, but I do like this quote someone posted on Instagram...)

"There are four questions of value in life.... What is sacred?  Of what is the spirit made?  What is worth living for?  and What is worth dying for?   .......   The answer to each is the same.  Only love."

Good weekend

I had a very nice weekend:  both fun and relaxing.

Went to the US Embassy's 4th of July event sponsored by the Association of the US Army.  Anytime you can get free ice cream (shout out to KDD - LOVE YOU!!!), it is a good deal.  Combine ice cream and refreshments and it is super good.

Went from there to Kabd to see my friends.  These are the guys who had my Secret Weekend Hideout in Julai'ai that the municipality tore down.  They took my advice and went to look for a farm in Kabd instead of looking for an apartment.  OMG - did they get a GREAT deal!  It is a ba-gorgeous "farm" (you can't really call it that, but technically, everything in Kabd is supposed to be).  It has 2 villas and a grass quad.  One of the villas has a huge indoor swimming pool.  The rent?  500kd/mo. (MASHALLAH MASHALLAH MASHALLAH)  I will be there every weekend following Ramadan (only because I won't be here for the entire month).

If you don't mind living in the middle of the desert, Kabd has great property prices.

The next day, I went to see an ooooold friend.  I've known him for 30 years.  Hard to believe, but true.  He invited me to go on a trip with his group at Al Boom Dive Center.  I've done it before and had a nice time.  Unfortunately, I'm too chickenshit to dive, but I get to splash around in the water and be on a boat all day.  Normal people (the public) can do the same for 10KD a trip.  It is a great deal.  They take you out from 10am to 4pm from the marina at Khiran (30 or 40 south for about 45 minutes to an hour - depending on how fast you drive).  Going to Failaka Island is easy in Kuwait.  There are several boats to take you out there.  Getting to see Kuwait's southern islands (Um Al Moradem, Qaroh, Kubbar) isn't as easy.  Not as many services taking people out there.  Al Boom's numbers are 2483-0474 or 6620-3000. They offer courses too (check out my Facebook page for their flyer).

Saturday morning, I woke up and had what looked like a clear blister on my eyeball.  Second weekend in a row I was forced to go to a hospital.  I freaked out.  Didn't have anybody to call/drive me, so I went alone.  Had a hissy fit in the reception room; got in to see the doctor who told me that it was just an allergic reaction to something and to stop freaking.  So I did.  He gave me eye drops.  It disappeared after about 2 hours.

I didn't want any reminders of Mr. Clean in my house, so I packed up his clothes (the only man I have ever allocated closet space to) and returned them to his dad's house last night (after 3 days of notifying him that he should pick them up - and he didn't).  Instead of making me feel better, it made me feel worse.  Closure.  He just sent me (after 10 days) a 1-liner saying, "Ok... thanks."  Sigh.

I am going to miss his family so much.  Well, truth be told, I miss him like crazy.  Of course, you don't immediately remember all the bad stuff about someone, just the good.  In hindsight, things start to take shape later.  His family made me feel like part of them.  I cry every time I think of his dad.  Maybe because I lost mine and having another father figure around has been very good for the soul.  His father is such a kind and decent man.  Maybe he'll talk some sense into his son.  Dunno.  We're not in communication so I can't tell.

I get on the plane again back to the States this coming weekend.  I need some positive reinforcement from my own peeps.  I can't wait to be there with them.

Hope you all have a happy Ramadan.

The Avenues Ingres/Egres Gets on My Damn Nerves

I've wanted to write about this particular pet peeve for a while now.

I love to shop.  It's what I do.  I really like the Avenues and I have been dying to get there to check out some of the new sections.

I work. I'm not a housewife who can go shopping at 10am when there is no traffic.  I gotta go on the weekends or after work.  Most often, on the weekends because I'm too tired to do much after work.

... getting into and out of that mall makes my skin crawl.  The entrance from 5th Ring Road is a nightmare and the back entrances aren't much better.  I have actually driven out there several times, seen the traffic, and turned around and went elsewhere.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING???

I don't get it.  You build a major mall and make it so difficult to get into that people are turned off.

It is going to be a nightmare before Eid.  Thank God, I will be in the States, shopping at malls with multiple ways in and out.

What he said

(Ok, I will go ahead and publish it.)

This, during our FIRST conversation about marriage (a "fact-finding", what-if kind of discussion)...

What he opened with:   "I WILL marry a second wife and there's nothing you can do about it."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? 

(So maybe homeboy did actually meet a Thai girl and fall in love...)

Me (I didn't BLINK before responding):  "Um yes, there is. I DO have a choice. Islam gives women choices.  On the day that I know you are marrying someone else, you don't have to do a thing.  You don't have to move off the sofa.  I will go to court the same day and request a divorce."

Him:  Blank stare, followed by nervous laughter.

#1 without a DOUBT the most un-romantic, dispassionate, uncompassionate,  pathetic, crappy discussion of marriage that I have ever had the misfortune to participate in IN MY LIFE.  I would rather hear some guy say, "I'm horny.  Let's get married mutaa and dooooo it.."  At least in that case, there is something of advantage in that.

Why would you start a conversation about marriage with an ending?  Why don't people think before they speak? (Or maybe - just maybe - he didn't want to have the conversation at all and was trying to push me away from the idea all together.  Well yeah, that was a success....  You got me there, buddy.  Good one!  High five!)

It's like me saying (on the first conversation), "I might get itchy feet in a few years and want to hook up with another man.  When I do, I'll ask you for a divorce, marry him, and it will be done."  (I actually did say that a little later on in the conversation in retaliation.)

Men, there are 2 times when we can get you:  When you eat and when you sleep.  THINK about it.  I hope he's wondering what was really in those chocolate chip cookies I baked him.  Mmmm mmmm good....



(Sidebar:  He was there when I lost a bunch of friends - including my best friend - and I needed someone around.  God sent him to me for a reason.  He served his purpose.)

Sucky Weekend

I am so sick of sucky weekends - I can't even tell you.  They seem to be getting suckier and suckier lately and as my spiritual guides are telling me, "Giiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrl, you need to get yourself grounded and do what makes you happy.  Nature!  You need to connect with nature."  Well sheet, I thought I was doing that  - in the form of a 6'4" hunky man named Mr. Clean.  Pero alas, Mr. Clean seems to have gone the way of The Others.

Not going to write about that now.  Too fresh.  Too hurtful.  Too annoying. ... okay... maybe I will discuss it, but just a little.

Saga of Mr. Clean wasn't even the suckiest of the sucking this weekend.  Two words:  Food Poisoning.  How do I put this delicately (cause ya know I'm like a flower....)  Listen to this song.   My whole insides are cleaned out now.  I'm not sure what food caused it, but by the time I got home, I was really sick. I decided not to to to the doctor right away (because I'm a dumbass) and so I suffered through Friday night and Saturday before going on Saturday night.... alone.... all alone... miserably alone.... sniffle, whimper... to the hospital. (For some reason, my hair looked REALLY GOOD at 3 am on Sunday morning when no one was around to see it.  Shet.  ... no really... shiet.)    Got on a drip, then another drip, then they couldn't find some veins so I became The Human Pin Cushion, then I went home to a lonely house where His clothes still are hanging in the closet and cried myself to sleep.  Pa-thetic.  (I'll have to burn them later.  It feels really good and I have a bigass grill....)

Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.  No, no, put on another pair of big girl panties.  Wait, food poisoning, you might need another pair.  Dayum.  Food poisoning is no fun.

... and as you can imagine, NO ONE wants to come visit you or take care of you while you've got all that going on!  (I wouldn't.)  (But again, for some odd reason - my hair looked REALLY good - when no one was there to see it.)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I had to stay out of work for 2 days (because you can't go far when you have "all that" going on).  Thank God (cause I do), I have bruises all over my arms from the needle marks, so the management either thinks I'm an intervenus drug user or that I really was sick... (hopefully the later).  God knows I'm creative so they might think I'm on the juice.

I have been trying to force myself to be happy for a while now.  I was happy for short amounts of time with him, but overall - not so much.  I need to reconnect with my happy clan and get back to the desert.  I've been like a camel out of sand and it's just noooo goood, baba.  I don't think some people understand this:  Live and let live.  If someone has a need to do something that makes them happy and it isn't going to hurt anyone; let them go.  I don't cheat.  I don't lie.  I won't even look at another man when I'm with someone I love. I'll even BAKE.  But if I gotta go to the desert and see some goats and maybe just maybe hang with a few friends, let me go!  You can't imprison a desert girl.  You gotta let her run.

That slut/bitch/whore Thailand has stolen TWO men from me now.  Mr. Clean just wasn't the same since he got back. They never return the same, do they?  Even if they haven't done the nasty with anything with or without a penis and/or lady parts; they still come back different.  American Girl pointed this out and I think she's completely correct.  Maybe it is the ego thing:  that women (and some not-so-much-women) of all ages are over there throwing themselves at men like they are Gods. It makes one re-evaluate what they have at home.  Maybe I didn't look so good (God knows - I did NOT look so good this weekend.)

We had The Big Talk this weekend and I think it may have put a nail in the coffin.  I'm not going to relate what he said.  However, it was NOT romantic, it was NOT passionate, and it did NOT evoke feelings of love. I did NOT want to shower him with hugs and kisses. (And because it was just The Big Talk, I did NOT get a ring - not that I was looking for one.  Girlfriend can afford her own bling, thank you very much.)   More like, I wanted to hit him over the head with  a steel reinforcement rod.  Iron frying pan.  One of those Acme weight things that Whyle Coyote uses.  And then... ladies and gentlemen, we have a runner....  He just left.  No phone calls.  Won't return calls or messages.  (Wait a minute... is this Mr. Clean or The Man???   Deja vu!  Whatsup?)

Stupid women do this:  I blamed myself. I shouldn't.  As Naz told me, "You didn't do anything wrong."  I didn't.  I don't see what else I could have done right.  I didn't initiate the conversation.  I don't even know how I feel about getting married (to his gynormous family).  But it was like the elephant in the room.  I've been surrounded by his family every weekend wondering when The Talk was going to take place.  Then, when it did, it was so disappointing.  And then he was gone and I was all alone with food poisoning and wondering what duffuq THAT was all about.

It's ok.  I wasn't looking for love when I met him. It just found me and I went with the flow.  I'm sure that when I'm least expecting it, it will find me again.  What an amazing adventure life is, isn't it?  You're in love, you're out of love, you want to kill someone, you get food poisoning, then you go on vacation.  Awesome.

I'm going to the desert tonight to run around and giggle.