The Pants Off Dance Off

(I keep changing the title because better ones keep popping into my mind...)

So, after all my BMCing about Clean and his questionable internet practices, he finally got

I went to see the fam for lunch on Friday.  Right before I left my house, I checked my e-mail and Facebook and there was a comment waiting from one of his sexy little internet bitches.  Secretly not wanting to see him at lunch and now armed with ammunition, I took a screen shot and sent it to him.  Mission accomplished:  He didn't show for lunch.  Bada bing.  And that's where I thought it would end.

At the end of lunch, one of his brothers was sitting next to me when Clean called him (I have GOT to change his name to "Dirty").  He asked who was there.  Bro replied that I was, and then he got up and left the room.  When he came back in, he explained what the situation was.

"The girl on the internet isn't a girl.  Clean has a problem.  It is a man and he's blackmailing him."
'Blackmailing?  Why?'
"Because Clean was having internet sex with a webcam and the girl turned out to be a guy and videotaped everything.  Now he's demanding money."

My immediate reaction was nausea.

"Can you help him delete his Facebook account?"
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  He wants MY help?  No phuckin way!

Sidenote:  Now, as La Senza says, "I used to read your posts and think you had a creative imagination and you were making most of the stuff up.  Now I know you and I know that you're not lying."  No, I'm not.  I'm not making this stuff up.  This is what happens.  This is my weirdass life and I've got to live it (and then, of course, dish about it herein.)

I'm still nauseous just thinking about this, but apparently there are quite a few "men" who have gotten caught in this frenzy of internet activity.  DUMBASSES!  When you put your junk  out there (literally) on the internet, you are taking a HUGE risk - not only to you, but to your future generations and to your family. That stuff stays out there.  In Clean's case, he is from a very large, very well-known Bedouin family.

I (again) didn't react well.  I got on Facebook and wrote to "her" saying that I would buy the video and to name a price.  This, posted to Clean's Facebook wall.

Then, I wrote an SMS to Clean saying that the culprit is probably one of my friends, as everybody knows how evil he has been to me and I'm sure they all are doing mean things to him that even I am not aware of.  (This is also known as psychological warfare.)  I mean, God only knows what my police friends are doing...  Then I intimated that his family might find out and followed with a kicker, 'Habibi, do you need money to pay off the man you had sex with on the internet?'  THEN he called me.  Wow.  So his dialing finger isn't broken after all.  So he still knows how to call me.  Bien sur, I didn't answer.  He finally sent me a message saying that, "I'm a man.  So what if someone sees my face and my d**k?"  (Obviously, he's now a celebrity porn star and proud of it.)  Wow.  Enjoy the show.

(Now, Clean, imagine these are GUYS!)

(Ick, I feel bile rising up again.)

It's karma, bitch.

So, all those times I asked him to please stop making "friendships" with/adding strange women on Facebook/the internet; please stop adding girls; please stop; please my family sees all that; please ......  it all comes back to him.  I suspected, but I have never had solid evidence until now (because, of course, the truth always comes out eventually).

He wanted me to wear hijab and to pray.  He asked me to be more religious.  He posts constantly about religion on his twitter account.  Hypocrite!

I'm going to stop thinking about this after this post because I've already vowed to myself that I never want to discuss him again in any way/shape/form, but...

This bothers me deeply because
1)  He disguised who he was so well and I allowed (yes I did) myself to believe he was a good person
2)  If his family ever finds out, they will have the same reaction that I did because his parents are good, decent, devout people
and
3)  God only knows what else he has been doing.

Khalas!  End of Dirty subject.

Attention potential  internet wanker 

wanna-be's!

Not all that is cute and feminine is what it appears to be.
It was a GUY.

After much discussion with my male friends in Kuwait, this is not an uncommon occurrence.  It seems to happen.  Why are some men so willing to put their penises where they don't belong?  I seriously don't get it.