That’s what The Man was: Living by his instincts; awakened to the sense of his baser nature. I’m psychoANALyzing again. I keep thinking about the really good times we had together and failing to remember every time he FLIPPED. (Oh yeah. Duuuh. He did do that.) My step-father was like that, but I blame that on alcoholism. There were very high highs and very low lows: laughter and happy times followed by shouting and misery. Maybe The Man was bi-polar. You know – there ARE drugs and rehab centers for these afflictions. (Live with it: He just wasn’t that into you, Desert Girl. Get on with your life.)
Well…. Ok….. Do 27 year-old men built like brick houses count? (“He’s a brick da da da da…hoooouse. He’s mighteh mighteh…Just lettin’ it all hang out…”) I mean, in the big picture would a 27 year old help? Ask me. I’ll tell you. (Sigh of temporary contentment.) It is, after all, how Stella Got Her Groove Back (and yet in real life, that guy turned out to be gay). Regardless, the 27-year-old in this case won’t be around that long for me to find out. Of course, it was all completely innocent. Yes. That’s it. I feel like some old guy who is in mid-life (I’m 29 people!) crisis and dating a much-younger chick. Honestly, I do desperately want a Corvette too. (Well Barbie has one, doesn’t she???)
I can’t count how many men I have met this Glorious Month of Ramadan. When people should be praying, they are doing the taboo and exchanging numbers. I know I’m going to Hell (but it is most likely for the multitude of OTHER bad deeds I have done). I love this month.
Alas, God or the Universe is – once again – playing tricks with my sorry self. I started playing on Mchat (sms “go” to 858 from an MTC line) and low and behold – what started happening? The Universe is phucking with me. The guys I have met have been in the same exact work (and job title) as The Man, have had the same login name as The Man, and I have even been meeting men with the same name as The Man. I am one of those superstitious weirdos that believes in signs and omens and all that crap and it is FREAKIN ME OUT. It is freaking out my girlfriends. What does it all mean? Are The Man and I destined to be together? Are we tied together by some cosmic bond? Ok, if so – why hasn’t he come begging yet? Why?
And Mchat – well, play at your own risk. The 40-something man who said he was “the color of coffee” was a 60-something espresso and brought his nephew with him (security or voyeurism?). Probably seeing-eye-nephew because the glasses were as thick as Coke bottles. Slapperella and The Romanian (who were with me) stopped short of laughing their asses off (neither of them HAS an ass) as they showed genuine pity on me (I could see pity or perhaps fear in their eyes and it was even worse than being laughed at). They looked at me like, “oh my God, we hope you don’t burst into tears at any moment.” Perhaps they knew that at this juncture, I might have just gone postal and killed every-living-thing in a 20-mile-parameter. It could happen. If you are home some evening and your windows start shaking, that is just me -- gone nuclear.
I still say go after girls, its the same as dark chocolate and white chocolate, you have to have both, you cannot just have one kind.
ReplyDeleteThen again you do not need a man, do you?
Dear Bridget Jones,
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you posting again!
The universe is not phucking with you, I think you are screwing with the universe!
The Man, cosmic noodles & omens, grandad espresso and co... maybe the coincidences is a way for the universe to warn you to stay away, but your not interpreting it the right way?
I say if The Man comes begging, you should tell him to go back to Phuket and phuk it . Otherwise I think it will be "Misery loves company", you don't need or deserve that.
Keep posting... U ROCK!
I love tha male perspective (and I'm not just talking about looking at a man strattling over me either).
ReplyDeletePurgatory - you are quite right. I could be quite content with a cucumber and carrot farm somewhere far far away. If I didn't know how bitchy girls can be, I might just take your advice.
Rain: Ah, rain. Matar, matar, matar, matar...
First of all, if you will notice - I only post when I have anxt.
Yes I am Bridget Jones in all her glory (sans the granny pants because THONGS RULE. Hugh Grant also makes me ill.)... I digress. I find your unique humor and psychoANALysis of ME very cool. Perhaps it is right - The Universe is telling me to stay away. (By the way, I just met another one with the same job title and a studder - which I am now beginning to understand. What is NEXT - tourettes syndrome?) I believe The (dickless) Man will come begging and when he does... I am already in a much better position to tell him to phuck off. He just has too much baggage (and it's not even matching - as IF) for me.
Perhaps boytoys and phallic veggies are my future. Lord knows I already have the companion dog. The spinster granny package is almost complete.
then you will keep going through this merry go round
ReplyDeletei'm 29 so i passed your psychoanalyzing. phew
ReplyDeletetoo much freetime ha, your wasting your time though, there is alot of things you can do to reach whatever the desired goal you aim for, have fun playing your role, life is a play, be good at it and you should be fine. now give me a smile.
2 posts in about a week, hmm
later
I saw go out and find a toy boy, use and abuse him for a while lol
ReplyDeleteor you could bat your eyelashes at purg :P
Or just give up on trying to find MR RIGHT, you never know... that special person could be right infront of you.
I have some single male friends who are rather hot and cool, I could introduce you if you want... and they have 20/20 eyesight so you don't need to be scared of beer bottle glasses again :P
No am not her type.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the universe is sending you signs. It's just that suddenly you pay more attention to people who have the same name, same job, same car, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe amount of people with his name didn't suddenly increase, you just didn't notice them before because the name was indifferent to you.
Sorry if Im disillusioning... :o) Yo'll get over it, find someone better (or just as good), look back and feel glad you're with someone else.
hehe, greetings from me, i living in kuwait working as nurse, lets join and exchange link with me pls, visit back to my blog
ReplyDelete