I'm So Not-Normal

I have all kinds of news – of various and sundry importance to the world – but I just haven't felt like posting since I got back. I've had a lot of coffee today; and I've had a very strange start to my week, so perhaps now is the time.

If it appears as though I am not depressed anymore about my dad – I am. I am just schizophrenic and all my personalities deal with emotions in different ways. My dominant personality seems to be covering everything up with humor. (What kind of "tears of a clown" bullshit is that?)

People are stupid. Since I've been back – several "friends" have called to invite me to parties. What kind of *%$#@'s do that? I don’t even go to parties and haven't for a long time. After the death of a close relative, you really reassess your friendships. I've made some amazing new friendships and I have let some old ones go. (Muslimartist, if you read this – you said so much in your e-mail and thank you so much for your kindness and support.) I've had a lot of promises of friendship, but not many people have actually been there to see me through it. It has been very strange.

I had to re-read some of my posts to bring everybody (myself) up to speed on what has happened lately.

I Tink I Taw A Fuckwit – Part Trois (or qatre – I can't remember exactly): I was having breakfast with Bobarino and The Man at Johnny Rockets at Marina Crescent. I had already ran into 3 other KGB fuckwits in a 500 meter radius when I heard a booming, "Hello (Desertgirl)". There it was. . . (music from Jaws). . . Fuckwit. He was in the middle of an entire table of relative fuckwits (I shouldn't say that- I'm sure they're nice. Naw – forget it.) I said, "Oh, you have your whole family with you." Now, what I meant by that (but he'll never get my meaning because he's too fuckwitted) was, 'So…… NOW you have the balls to actually speak to me because you have your family around you and I can't say anything rude, spiteful or of-truth.' So, I put on my best fake smile and shook my ass outa there. His wife stared at The Man throughout our entire meal and he continually brought it to my attention. Jeez – let me and the father of my future offspring eat our pancakes in peace!

And speaking of fuckwits – they're just everywhere, aren't they??? There is a particular lawyer that I know (and I know many) who did ONE thing for me in 1993. Since then, he has been asking me favors on a regular basis. He shows up out of nowhere asking me for business assistance and advice. He starts off all nice and everything and then – BAM! He's Rude, Esq. Like this past week, for example: He shows up at my office with another lawyer in tow – without an appointment. Turns out they are "partnering" for some work (this is literally about the 10th "partner" I've met in as many years). The Partner is looking for some Westerners to join as staff. He is looking for 2 candidates and asks my assistance. He also wants a newspaper ad designed to recruit these people. Fine. I start making inquiries and design an ad (which he never bothers to acknowledge receipt of). I tell him that a minimum salary for Westerners specifically with legal experience will be high and that he should create as many incentives and benefits as possible to outweigh some of the cost of salary. Fine. We're all on the same page. So, I arrange an interview for a very professional, nice woman I know who has just sold 1 car in the family and her husband is using another. I explain it to him that he may need to discuss a transportation allowance. He boisterously tells me, "No! No! No! Find someone else! We don't want someone without transportation!" Um…. Hel-LOOOOO! I don't work for you, buttweed! And so much for flexibility, eh? I promptly ended the call and then invoiced him. Phuck that. During the entire time I have known him, he hasn't so much as sent me flowers for all the things I've done for him. I have decided to get nasty with people like this. The minute you send them an invoice, the true colors come out.

Another funked up thing that happened to me this week (and it's only Monday!): Coming into the free trade zone yesterday, a car in the right lane tried to cut into my lane. I heard and felt impact. He smoked his tires from braking. I moved into the right lane to assess the damage. I expected him to do the same, but noooooooooo! Bitchboy pushed the gas and peeled away. I took off after him (no way was I going to pay for hit-and-run damage, thank you). For the next 15 minutes, we drove around and around the free trade zone (only one way in and one way out). Apparently, he didn't want to stop and he didn't want me to know where he works. Bobarino had an appointment in the zone, so I asked him to come up behind us and we could block Bitchboy in. I kept tailing him. After 15 minutes, he parked and I blocked him in. Bobarino arrived just as Bitchboy parked his car. He's lucky he didn't get a swift ass-kicking, but there was no damage to my car. When we asked him why he didn't just pull over, he said, "I didn't want any trouble." What tha fuuuuuuuuu??? I had called 777, but with no damage to the cars, it just wasn't worth it. Maybe we'll go back and kick his ass another day when he least expects it. Tee hee (just kidding. really). He is young and stupid and doesn't know that I am already figuring out who he is and who he works for because I know people all over that building.

Oh! Karma is a wonderful thing. I ran into (yet another) fuckwit this week. He was so stupid that he didn't even remember who I was. 6 years ago, I interviewed with him. He made me a cheap offer which I declined. He proceeded to call me to invite me for "drinks in his apartment." Ick, yuk, and no way. I never called him again. Flash to 4 years later: I'm at another company for an interview (I fish a lot to see what the market is like. It is also a great way to make new contacts and find out about local companies and their management styles). Anyhoo, due to my aforementioned rejection of him, he grilled me for almost 2 hours really aggressively hammering me with questions throughout the interview. There were 2 other people present and they told him that he was "mean". Phuckim. (He was fired from that job soon after for always coming to work drunk – LOOOOOOOSER!) So, I walk into my office 2 days ago, and BAM – there he is. He has just been appointed "Head of Business Development" for a company with extreeeeeeemely lax hiring procedures. He is going to be working downstairs from us. I am making a mental plan to never be nice to him or to help him in any way.

On the positive side of my world, they delivered my new mattress on Thursday. I had been putting off buying one (because I'm lazy), but it was really time. I bought a top-of-the-line Ikea mattress 4 years ago (they are only built to last a few years) and the springs were poking me in uncomfortable places at inappropriate times, so it was time for a change. I can't believe how expensive mattresses are. Ouchies. I went to American Mattress (Dude, why do you call it that when the majority of the mattresses there are made in UAE?), several places in Farwaniya, Al Baghli, Al Jeraiwi (sp?) and the Bed Shop. American Mattress was the most expensive and the pushiest. Even the salesman told me that he didn't like the stores' policy of making you give your phone number so the salesmen (who is forced to do this) calls you after 3 days for "follow-up" (pushing you into buying their mattress). The first mattress/box that they showed me was 675 kd. I almost peed myself. They also wouldn't just sell the mattress – you had to buy the set (I would have thrown away the box anyways because my bed would be too high). Same thing applied at the Bed Shop, but the price was better. Their mattresses are predominantly made in the UAE also. What is so great about that? They also had those latex sponge toppers for 90kd – which I almost bought before I got on the internet and ordered a cheaper one (which turned out to be way lower quality). The entire latex mattress goes for about 700 kd there. I didn't like anything I saw in Farwaniya or Jeraiwi, but I found a really really really nice mattress at Al-Bagli (I highly recommend them – great service, products, and they speak English). It is a "Majestic" model - 18" (35cm) high and is a double pillow top (both sides, so you can flip it), has springs encased by foam and it has a 5 (or maybe 10?) year warranty. Cost was 148 kd. Made in Kuwait – to order with my selection of fabric! Awesome. It took 3 guys to carry it to my apartment. It is so high that Desertdawg has a hard time hopping up on it. She slides off the side with her little arms in the air and a funny look on her face. I laugh.

While testing out the mattresses, I told The Man that I would pay him money if he would go into the stores with me in qatara and aghal and roll around on the mattresses to test them. I had my video camera on stand-by. He wouldn't do it. I tried.

After 10 years in my apartment, I had a black shade installed in my bedroom this weekend. Now, I have a kickin AC unit for a totally dark room with a new mattress; Ideal for a depressed schizophrenic who constantly runs into fuckwits when venturing outside.

In other news: Has anyone heard about the Kuwaiti woman who recently infected over 100 men with AIDS – in Kuwait? Who is she? Do I know her? I haven't seen anything about that in the English press. Also, what is the deal with the Jassim Boodai video? Someone I know has me searching the internet for hours the other night looking for it. Have I been under a rock lately or what? What's going on people?