I'm not the entertainment.

I pity bored people.  They constantly look to someone else to entertain them.  They're actually not intelligent or interesting enough to come up with their own entertainment - or perhaps something that will entertain others.

Over the course of my 29 years (Hell YES I lie!), I have been sought out as the entertainment on several occasions; mostly by uber-rich people.  I guess when you can make people laugh, it is a gift.  I crack jokes when I'm nervous or in a situation where I don't feel completely comfortable (like around the uber-rich).  It isn't until I'm IN the situation that I realize that these people are not really my friends, but are waiting for the next funny thing; the next good time.  I would never accept an invitation, for example, if I knew that they just thought I was cute or funny and could make them laugh.  How superficial!  If you like me, you like me through good times and bad.  You're a friend when I'm down too, and likewise for  you.  If not, I'm not interested in maintaining a relationshit with you.

What brought this to mind was an extremely arrogant woman that I crossed paths with last night while walking Mikey.  I seriously can't wait for the day when I can say a single word and he will bare his teeth and growl in an alarming manner.  This woman walked over with her husband and asked if she could pet Mikey. I should say no, but I've been too nice lately.  I'm going to have to start telling people that he's an attack dog (gotta learn that term in Arabic) and dangerous.  But I said ok because she seemed friendly enough.  He wanted to play and tried to nip her hand.  Instead of pulling her hand away, dumbass gives me a look and said, "why don't you hold him?  Make him shake hands.... make him do tricks."  Whaaaaa?   ........ Phuckyou.  Did I, a stranger, walk over to you and ask to pet your husband?  Make him shake hands?  Make him do tricks?  WTF - are we a walking circus for your enjoyment?  I pulled out my best condescending, "Laaaaaaaaaaaa ya habiiiiibti."

 It is Spring again. Renewal.  Rebirth.  My birthday is this coming week.  It all seems to change for me around this time of year.  And so, I am looking at my friendships again and reflecting.

I have 2 groups of friends and one of the groups relates to the picture above.  Sometimes when you know people superficially or (as they say locally "don't go to deep with them") you have no worries.  I've known this particular group of friends for a decade, but never got into their business and never allowed them into mine. Now, we're both in and I'm seeing things that really upset me.

So, I'm reflecting.  I'm spending time alone thinking.  I'm (ha ha) re-grouping.  I'm not anywhere to entertain anyone.  (Although the blog has kinda turned into that, it started as an anonymous vehicle to vent my frustration.  It's entertainment value is secondary in all honesty.  I don't want to pay for a shrink.)  Among my friends, I'm not there to entertain, certainly.