Musla7a

Musla7a (mus-la-ha) in the local dialect means benefiting, leaching, freeloading, using someone.  I have witnessed a shiiiitload of musla7a behavior since I've been here.  Some of it, recently, I've let go for the sake of "friendship".  So what is friendship, one might question, if it is musla7a?  Well dear friends, bada bing:  that is the question.

Parasites are not your friends.  People who just want to use you for something are not your friends. (I LOVE how they try to flip it around and make it appear to be YOUR fault too.)

Little ditty about "Nadia" (not her real name).  I met Nadia in the States.  When I moved to Kuwait, I got to know her and her family.  We got to be good friends.  She asked me if I thought she had a boyfriend. I thought it was an odd question; regardless, I didn't care, I said.  Not my business if (married) Nadia had a boyfriend or not.  This was 1997.  I used to travel a lot for work (still do, really).  Nadia finally fessed up to having a boyfriend shortly after and while I was away, would I mind if they went to my apartment.  Hmmmm....  Cut to a few months later when she calls me after work to ask me if I could "leave my apartment for a few hours so that they could stop by...."

NadiaBiotch and her boyfriend never invited me to a meal; never brought me a gift; never did squat.  I think they may have once left a can of Pepsi in my refrigerator.

I put my foot down.  Enough was enough.  Nadia went into flip mode and gave me a tirade about how DARE I?  Did I want money?  Was that it?  Did I want them to pay?  Yada.  I'm like, 'Biotch please!  This is my HOME.  How dare you and your trifling boyfriend (who, in 1997 couldn't afford 85kd/mo to pay the rent on a studio apartment at that time for the both of them - SINCE they had been together for ELEVEN years.)

Cut to 2012 when I thought my BS detectors have been properly calibrated....

Little ditty about Timmy (he's Kuwaiti, but I've decided to call him Timmy and change his name from the regular one I've been using.)

I've known Timmy for 2+ years and I kind of let annoying things go:  Like how he was always at my house, drinking all my stuff, never replacing anything, never inviting me to a meal, never bringing me a gift, inviting his 7ailag (low class) friends (although not all of them; some are actually quite nice) to my house constantly.  Then, more recently,  Timmy started using my place as  a launch pad to the next party (without ever inviting me).  He would just disappear during the evening with a group of followers and then blatantly lie about it.  His friends took an entire Smir blue bottle off my counter a few weeks ago (someone saw one of them actually smuggling it out of my house in a BAG) without replacing it (which has really irked me to no frick-in end....).  Timmy has pissed off a lot of my friends with his very bad temper while under the influence, rude line of questioning, and some more.

Time to stop being so "nice".  And by the way, nice doesn't mean stupid.  I'm not going to change who I am to accommodate the rudeness of others.  I am nice to people until they prove me wrong.  Desert Girl, consider yourself proven wrong.  And I am....   I'm not a doormat.  (Don't judge me.)  I have been having fun.  I love entertaining. Entertaining at this level might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it's mine. Do what makes you happy, I say.   I would do more if I could.  Always have.  I like the company.  This particular situation has not been all bad.  But the bad has been mounting up (to the point where I didn't have time to talk/correct/discuss any of it) so time out.  Just too much.

One of Timmy's and my mutual friends called me.  I had no idea he was such a loyal friend, but wow; was I enlightened.    "Desert Girl!  WHAT are you DOING?  Did you know..... blah blah and yada yada??  I can't believe you let them into your home!"  Oh my gosh, like... ok.... I knew some stuff, but I didn't know other stuff.  Timmy et al  had pulled the wool right over my eyes and I have no one to blame but myself.

Bamboozled.  Hoodwinked.  Musla7a-ed.

So, when I confronted Timmy with some of the information, his reaction was to call ME rude and said that HE didn't want to be my friend anymore.  Hey, save me some effort!  Thank you.  Oh Timmy, you're soooooo.... musla7a.  Thank you for that realization even after some time.

So, back to my point:  Parasites are not your friends.  People who just want to use you for something are not your friends. It is NOT cultural that you are not invited to a Kuwaitis home or, as an alternative, invited out to dinner, invited to an event like a wedding or whatever.  If someone likes you; they like you. True friends are friends.  They want you to be part of their world.  It isn't a 1-way street.