I haven't been a very good friend lately

... and now... for a moment of reflection.

Let's start off with why I can't post about all my personal BS.  First, a lot of the friends I have, I have met through the blog.  Other friends I know read the blog.  I can't exactly talk openly about how I feel about things without hurting someone.  It is a continuing dilema. 

(I can't write about work for the very same reason - but hey - writing about work-related issues on the internet is never a good idear anyhoo.  Not that I would have much to say because Mashallah I really love my job and my boss.)

I've had some friend issues lately and has been really bothering me - in kind of a smoldering, low-burn that nags at me.  I have had the feeling that all the negativity just isn't the way I want to be/ live, and I've had a difficult time determining how I want to turn it around.

So I have had to change my attitude and look at the situation(s) from a totally different perspective.  Bada Bing:  I have it:  It's all about judgment.  I've been guilty of being overly judgmental and to one or two people, I have not been a very good friend when they need me the most.

I've got a friend who is really at the crossroads at the moment. He's had to make major life-altering decisions in a short period of time, and he's had to choose to do things - and not because he wants to.  I had dinner with him last night and talked some things through.  It made me realize that:  what kind of a person am I to turn my back on anyone when they need a helping hand?  Would I like it if the situation were reversed and I needed someone's help? You know who your true friends are when you are down and you need them the most.

Otay granted, dude has made several people very upset. People react differently to adverse situations. (And again, who am I to judge?)   But I don't believe that the answer is turning your back on him.  At the VERY least, those people should have a conversation (e-mail?) and explain why. Hash it out and move on.  I wouldn't want to be "shunned" by people I cared about without at least knowing why.  Passive aggressive doesn't do it and eventually - someone will turn around and be passive agressive right back atcha when you least expect it; or maybe need them the most.

Unrelated to Mr. Crossroads above, but directed at another friend who again - who has a very good heart...
I have other friends who casually drop the phrase, "gay."  Why the label?   Em... So?  Who cares?   I have never had a tolerance for intolerance.  I don't care what your sexual preference is and it is none of my damn business.  When you come to my home, I don't want there to be any negativity.  Bad energy shouldn't dwell there.  Gay, straight, American, Brit, Shiia, Sunna, Christian, Jewish, Hather, Bedu, .....(and other labels such as) snobby, offensive:  People come in different packages.  Get over yourself.  If you judge/label someone; how do they judge/label you??

I'm just not getting all the judgment that is going on in my personal life at the moment.  Friends seem to be taking sides, determining who should be shunned and excluded (and that includes me and Southern Bedu and WE don't know why),  and a whole lot of gossip.  That isn't me.  That isn't how I want to live.

I realize that sometimes you have to re-evaluate friendships and determine the next step.  God knows I've had my share of that in Kuwait and it has never been a pleasant experience.  Yet, am I being judgmental in judging those who are judgmental?  WTF.  Real dilema.  At the moment, I'm just riding the wave, seeing where it is going to take me. 

Should you have a wave to begin with if they are your true friends?  (Am I being overly judgmental?)

I wish I could be more like my dog.  She loves everyone unconditionally and is a bundle of pure happiness (Mashallah).  Can't we all just get along?    It is really good that I'm going to Germany and the US this week.  I need to take a break and have a refresher course on how to be a better person.  At the very least, recharge my positive energy over copious amounts of alcohol and maybe a visit to a non-denominational house of worship for some more reflection.