Slaps and her cooker

Slapperella just bought a cooker (that's Briddish for "stove").  I'm not going to call it a cooker because the name disturbs me (too close to "hooker") and since it is almost time for the 4th of July and we won the war, I don't feel the need to speak Briddish.

So anyhooo, she bought a stove.  You have to understand - she moved into her apartment (notice I didn't say "FLAT") something like 2 years ago (she used the elevator to get there - NOT the "lift").  When she moved into her place- which is not furnished - from a furnished apartment, there were no kitchen appliances, so she had to buy them.  She just never felt the need for a stove because hey - what would she do with it? Dry clothes?  She had a microwave, a refrigerator, and a telephone (delivery orders) which are the Single Girl's Tools of Choice.

Personally, I feel that she had some kind of terribly traumatic cooking incident during her former marriage which has ruined her for all forms of food preparation.  She won't discuss it; so I feel there is an underlying root to her condition.

I felt pity on her, so I bought her a few items so she could eat hot food in an emergency (Ramadan):  a microwave rice cooker; a microwave egg boiler; a microwave hamburger cooker, a microwave bacon (beef or turkey of course) cooker...(okay, you get it).  I just saw a microwave coffee maker in True Value and I had to stop myself.

For this week, in a historical and landmark event, Slaps bought a stove and I hear that it is a top-O'-the-line model at that.  We don't actually know what she's going to do with it, but I suspect foul play.  When she starts buying the 50 gallon drums and the large cooking pots, I figure she's seen "Fried Green Tomatoes" (pronounced "toe-may-toe") one-too-many-a-time and someone has seen  the down side of her delicate demeanor.

I'm just say-in.