10 days of Eid holiday rocked - now I need a vacation!

I'm tired from my vacation.

Tailored Suits and The Ambassador came over a week ago Saturday.  Tailored Suits brought enough food (prepared by one of his two wives; he never told us which) to last the entire week; and went on to explain what machboos is and how you make maabooch and what it is.  As if I haven't ever had machboos after 14 years. Kinda odd, but I went with it.  It was nice to have Slaps' evaluation of my OLD friends.  The minute I left the room, TS was asking her how old she was and if she was married.  Dude, c'mon!  You have TWO wives (10 children, 1 x wife) and Slaps could be your grand daughter.   Old habits are fer sure hard to break.

I went to Kout with The Man over the weekend and finally found Alpo "Come and Get It" dog food for Desert Dawg.  Damn - that stuff is really hard to find and it is the only food she'll eat (without getting really sick and really messy).  Thank God we got it - and I hoarded.  We had a nice time both Fridays (as always). Last Friday, we went to the desert and this Friday, we stayed home and turned the terrace into an oasis (with grilled hamburgers - yummmm).  Aaaah, I love Fridays....

The weather has been amazing this week.  I'm so glad I have a nice back yard and so many friends who want to just come over and hang.

Slaps and I went to LOL (Lady of Leisure - henceforth and herewith to be called "Spanx")  for burgers (yes, there is a theme) one night  and met her German neighbors.  Really fun teaching people what "booty call" means - especially over a concoction made from coffee and some kind of herbs. Tastes like Draino going down and burns all the way.  I've been meeting a lot of German people lately or people with ties to Germany.  Me likes.  It gives me an opportunity to practice my German:  'Yaaaa.  Achtung.  Farfenugen.  Strudel.  Volkswagon!  Yaaa.  October fest!' 

Bunny's daughter got married on Wednesday.  Slaps, LOL, Butterfly and I went.  We were trying to be respectful, so we went to buy abayas.  It was a Bedouin wedding and we were already going to stick out, so we tried to at least blend in a little (okay not really, but we were trying to be respectful to our hosts).  Trying on abayas with a bunch of crazy foreign women is just plain fun.  None of us wanted to get a ho-baya (the kind that fits tight across the T&A) because well.... that would be wrong.  The Pakistani dudes were a great audience and very helpful.  Personally, I don't believe that Lady of Leisure will ever get out of her PJ's now; she'll just throw on the abaya and off she'll go to the store or where ever.  I already know that Slaps plans the same thing.  I'm pretty sure that both Butterfly and LOL are going back to the store to buy niqabs.  They were totally into it (what HAVE I done?)

So, we went to Butterfly's house to prep... for four hours (which apparently was NOT enough time because Butterfly was still doing LOL's hair in the back of my Envoy driving down Fahaheel Expressway at 140 kph with the windows open to avoid suffocation from the fumes of the hair spray).  Yes yes, we were quite a vision to the other cars.  Anyhoo, Butterfly did an amazing job at hair and make-up through a lot of noise and confusion.   We got dressed at her place too and 2 pizzas and several bottles later, it was really difficult to get into Spankx (mission accomplished).

Spanx are an essential wedding accessory in any country. We all wore them except Slaps who said that she doesn't do pain for beauty. Bullshit.  I've seen your shoes. I know your pain.  Slaps doesn't need Spanx, but then neither does LOL who is the same size.  Unfortunately, Spanx roll and it really isn't very funny at all when they do.  The Spanx Roll is a dangerous and humiliating time.

We arrived very late (and very giggly) at the hall, just when the beautiful bride was about to make her entrance.  The ladies couldn't have been nicer to us.  It was like we were the guests of honor.  Everyone spoke to us and asked us who we were with and were incredibly kind.  Bunny's cousin (one of the eldest ladies at the wedding) took LOL by the arm and danced with her throughout the night.  They were extremely gracious.

Fruit juice really takes the edge off dancing at these weddings.  LOL, Slaps, and Butterfly immediately ran up and started dancing - with 'tude - as if they had been going to Kuwaiti weddings their whole lives.  I don't dance.  Dunno why, but something along the way has taken the life out of my dancing legs and I can't seem to get it back.  My dancing mojo has been stolen.   Anyhoo, the girls had a great time and lots of people danced with them.  Usually, some woman will see me sitting alone and practically pull me to the dance floor, so I have my stock excuse ready, 'I'm pregnant,' and they leave me alone. "Oh! Fee bay-beee?"   Works like a charm.

The hall was really pretty; everything was done in white and navy blue and the lighting system was fantastic.  I don't know who did their decor, but it was very nice.  The only thing I didn't like was the hall's bathrooms (but that can be said of a lot of places).  Attending large weddings is like going to sporting events; if at all possible, you want to avoid the bathrooms.  This was really bad.  You can't police everybody and there is always going to be some creature who shocks the heck out of you. At one point, LOL and I pulled up our dresses and grabbed mops to try to clear some of the water in the stalls.  People gave us the thumbs up.  I felt like I should high-five some of them.  Oh well.  Unless you bring in your own cleaning crew (with a strict supervisor), it will get dirty.

We took lots of pictures before and after the event, but Kuwaiti families are getting really strict about bringing cameras into weddings.  Apparently, photos have been posted on the internet or sent around and with the hejab/modesty issue, no one wants that.  I wish I could show my friends/family back home what the weddings here are like; however.  They are so different from US traditions and the dresses, hair and make-up are amazing.  Someday, I'm going to figure out a way to bring in a spy camera (and just show photos to my FEMALE friends/family).  As it was, Bunny's family had hired Camera Nazis to go through bags and look for cameras or camera phones.  Those girls weren't playin.

White body make-up is still in fashion at weddings here.  I thought if I waited for a while to attend a wedding the fad might have died, but noooooooo.... still white.  It looks fine if the girl is dressed up in a fancy, glittery gown, but as soon as the black hejab/sheylas go back on, it starts looking like Elvira Mistress of The Night time.  Eeek.  Hair styles have changed, however.  That aspect has definately become scarier.  WTF is the deal with attaching another entire head to the back of your head?  I mean, why?  Grecian hair styles of hair woven over a huge foam ball (I assume) are in.  Some of them were like 2 1/2 times the girls normal head size (imagine 2-3 rolls of Charmin extra soft).  My mother used to say when we were little and our hair was messy that it looked like a rat's nest.  Well, I was trying to figure out how many rats could live in the back of one of those hair balls.  You could hide contraband - OR maybe a digital camera with a zoom lens.... in-teresting....

So, we just about closed that sucka down.  We left at about 1:30 and most of the guests had already gone.  Lots of the younger ladies came out to say goodbye to us; it was so sweet.

We went back to Butterfly's for more pizza and a wee nip (ask an Irish person).  Slaps is a lightweight and left to "go home to her dog" (yeah, sure) early.  LOL, Butterfly and I stayed up until about 3 until my eyes were closing.  It was way past Spanx-off time (no need when you're wearing an abaya).  When I dropped LOL off at her house, she practically fell out of my car and told me the next day that she fell asleep in the hallway of her apartment, much to the dismay of her husband.  Yeah, we know how to party, we do. (Two days later, we were still feelin it.)

Read Butterfly's account of the evening HERE.

Bobarino called the next day to tell me about his wedding adventures. He went dressed in dishtasha, qutara and aghal and all the men spoke to him in Arabic.  He passed.  He neglected to mention, however, that his aghal fell into a chaffing dish....  That's just frickin hilarious.  Dude, do you really have a picture of yourself dancing with a sword?  I gotta have it.

Notice to KUWAITI PEOPLE:  We are available (free of charge) to attend your weddings.  Inviting foreigners to your wedding is all the rage now. It is very fashionable. Your friends and neighbors are doing it.  Write to me.  We WILL show up and play along with any scenario you choose no matter how outlandish.  Perhaps you met us through business; perhaps we are Cirque du Soleil performers/contortionists; perhaps you went to school with us.....  the scenarios are endless.  

So I went to sleep early tonight and now it is late and I have work in the morning.  I can't sleep. I'm going to be useless tomorrow (sorry, Stella).  People should know that blondes need to be re-trained after vacations and long weekends.  It's just the way it is.

Looks like I'm going to have a really busy week too with lots of Thanksgiving events and another engagement party this coming Friday.  Wooo hoooo.

Hey, did you know that the price of a lamb was crazy expensive this Eid?  I heard somewhere in the 120 kd range. That's crrrraaaaazy.  I had to hide my dog - she looks like a lamb and with prices that high, you never know who might do something criminal.

Hope y'alls Eid was happy.