Pink Eye Sucks Bigtime (The "Just Shoot Me" Post)

I've lost a lot of work (yawn) because of the stupid eye infections (viral conjunctivitus) I can only blame on the miserable weather and freakish particles (of thousand year old camel dung) we have floating around in Kuwait's poor quality of air (or lack thereof).  (Go ahead - kill anohter tree whydon'tcha?)   Whatever it is, it has turned my blue eyes pink, itchy and watery.  There are little slits where my eyes used to be and eyedocman said that it temporarily affected one of my corneas.  Oh - and it is contageous.... funnnnn.  Ya want some of dis?

When eyedocman read me my "punishment," he might as well have handed me a loaded gun and told me to shoot myself:  NO make-up for 10 days and no contact lenses. I guess the last time that happened, I was 11 years old.   Now, if dude had told me to stop wearing high heels and a push-up bra, I would have had a heart attack right there and then.  Just end me now.  WTF.  My life is over.  Bring on the support hose and false teeth (which may be next if I don't actually GO to the dentist).

Dude actually had the nerve to tell me to (I shiver to write this) to... to... to....  throw out all my eye make-up.  Oh, the pain. What woman would ever want to hear those words???  (I'm sure you guys just won't get it.)  Thow out my eye make-up... oh, the horror.  I've been calling friends and they're asking me if I can't just cut around parts of it?  Wouldn't it kind of like be a viral petri dish?  My $65 tub of Cle de Peau dark blue solid eye liner (love it) went into the trash; as did everything that I have touched for the past 2 months - eye shadow, mascara, eye liner - all of it.  Just - kill - me.  Some of it came from the States and I'll have to wait to buy it when I get there.  My Make-Up Consultant and Spiritual Advisor (The Romanian) immediately stated, "Lips and eyebrows.  That needs to be your concentration."  Good solid advice (especially because the space between my nose and my eyebrows is pretty much missing right now).

So, here it is, almost a week since I went to the opthamologist and I still can't see well at all.  What happens if I geez ugly guys thinking that they're cute??  My prescription glasses seem to be the wrong prescription (although 2 doctors now insist that it is correct).  I am suffering from some kind of dry-eye that I never had before; and all of a sudden, I am "borderline" for glaucoma.  Oh.. my... God.  Is this what happens when you get old?  I'm falling part.  I haven't had to wear glasses... since when?  I can't recall.  Why the F didn't I have laser surgery?  Why must I be such a chicken in some ways (and yet so bossy and aggressive in others)?? 

One lady at work actually said to me, "Desert Girl!  When did you start wearing specs?"  Okay, now I know she's from India and all that where they might actually use the word "specs" and not have it relate to a 90 year old woman, but I am not in agreement to the term.  Desert Girl in "spectacles" - no, no, no.  I'm not havin it.  (Now, if you said, "Desert Girl is a spectacle," that might be correct.)

Am I vain?  HELL YES!

As evasive action, I am wearing much cuter, higher heels and am paying closer attention to my hair and nails. I dug out a red wonderbra (GREAT for attitude adjustment - if not altitude adjustment).  I think it is important to keep your perspective when your health is failing.  And let's keep a positive attitude:  My driving has also improved (you have to go much slower when you can't see the other cars). And - a refined gentleman (aka "old dude") offered to pay our bill when we went out for coffee a few days ago.  Maybe I look more dignified in specs?  Or maybe I just look like the naughty librarian.  Yeah baybeeeee.  Slapperella says that you get back the vibes that you give out.  Hmmm.  Slutty lawyer? tee hee.

Hey - at least I have my sense of humor. All my other senses (not all, obviously) are going to Hell.