My 29th Birthday Party

Ever heard that George Strait song, “All of My Ex’s Live in Texas” (and that’s why I call Tennessee home)? I was reminded of this song as I tried to plan my birthday dinner last week. I’m friends with my ex’s. In fact, I adore them. Now that we’re friends, everything is so much less stressful and we can just enjoy life. But… getting them in a room together was a bit nerve-wracking.

I think I may have mentioned my dream – full of anxiety - in an earlier post. A bunny and a hamster were hopping around together, merrily sharing each other’s company… when all of a sudden… out of nowhere… the bunny grabbed the hamster in its furry paws; and with a sininster look of pure evil… well, (to be politically correct) “had it’s way” with the hamster. The hamster screamed and I woke up screaming, “Noooooooooooooo!!!!”

I started out thinking that maybe I could get away with having a birthday dinner (for 25 plus people) without either of them knowing/caring and/or showing up. I’m way too honest for that. I also really enjoy both of their company - and so do my friends. So, ask me a direct question and every time – I give a straight answer. Not that I want to, but the voices in my head put pressure on me. I can’t help it. I decided to invite both of them.

So, I took both of them aside (on different days in different locations, in the same tone of voice) and described my strong desire for them to get along so that we could all have a happy evening. Ab-so-lutely NO attacks of any kind. They both promised.

Ok, not to trivialize very very very kind acts by both of them, but I sensed a leetle bit of competitiveness when the gifts were delivered: First, the cake that was almost the size of my office desk; and then the flowers which were almost a foot taller than I am. Regardless, they were so cool and I loved them. Each of them both got me lovely jewelry which they both made me promise to wear at the dinner (which I totally forgot to do because I was so busy). See – they have things in common!

Get this – they got along. I couldn’t believe it, but at the same time, I could. They're not so close as to go out and do male-bonding or anything (not at all in reference to my dream) but they were ok. Let's face it, they both have a lot in common (me, par example); they are both genuinely kind and (often) diplomatic guys. Every time they either sat or stood next to each other, I said, “oooooooooh! Let me get a camera!” (my new Olympus broke a few weeks before, so I actually didn’t have a camera).

Bobarino walked in and was shocked to see them both there. I’m good at bringing people together. It’s what I do. Bobarino cornered a new couple to Kuwait, R&G (who I like a lot), for most of the evening. I couldn’t tell if they were smiling politely or if I should rescue them. Love you, Bobs. Bobarino’s friend had his game on with Sheikha Minor and a new Kuwaiti friend. I think they had a date last night. I’m dying to know how it went.

The night was so nice – I can’t even tell you.

I found a place that caters Chinese food for 1 KD per person (I know – awesome, right?). I checked it out with Bunny just to make sure it was good food and we both really liked it. It is a tiny place in Rigae (don’t recommend it at night – too many drunks hanging around in the neighborhood) called China Park (phone: 24889644). For the price, you get a choice of appetizer, a beef entrée, a chicken entrée, a rice dish, and a noodle dish. They bring it to your place (on time) in chaffing dishes (tables cost half a KD each). And then they come back the next day to pick up. How cool is that? I figured that drunk people probably don’t care what they eat anyways, but the food was very good. I was kinda nervous about it, so I had a lot of chips/dips, veggies, and (as it turned out) 3 cakes incase people didn’t want to eat from the buffet. Waaaay too much food.

I’m still looking for a Kuwaiti oud player, by the way. If anyone knows anyone. I want Kuwaiti because I’ve hired other nationalities and they always end up playing Lebanese or Egyptian songs and that’s not what I’m lookin for. I like the older Kuwaiti or Gulf songs.

We didn’t have a DJ because it wasn’t that kind of a party. I don’t do that kind of party: I like good music playing in the background, but not so loud that you can’t talk.

I had about a gazillion candles lit (sorry, one can never have too many candles – I’m a girl. Shut up.) Some people sat in the garden, some inside in different groups. I got SO many beautiful flowers that the place looked like a wedding reception (ok, now I really know how to plan one – on the cheap – in Kuwait!).

My friend, Mo, was our “Data Clerk” at work and was terminated after 15 years of service. He had built up increments over the years to where he was making a whopping 250 KD a month. So, he was told “You are making too much money.” This guy did everything for me at the office; I really relied on him. In the States, he would have been called a “Secretary” (not really an AA, but a junior level admin person). I am the only manager at my office who has never hired an assistant of any kind. They had him doing everything and he KNOWS his stuff. Ok, so they terminated him and with no/limited job prospects, I hired him to serve at the dinner. If anyone needs him in that capacity (let me know: amerab@gmail.com) – homeboy served, ran out to buy supplies, and then cleaned my kitchen! I wanted to keep him. (Not to be derogatory or anything, but is this what it is like to be Kuwaitia? Ha ha.)

Hamster left first and Bunny stayed behind to get rid of the stragglers. I finally said something like, “Ok right. Closing time. Time to go home. Get out of my house.” Or equally as diplomatic. Everyone left with their to-go boxes of Chinese food and cake (I hate to waste food) at around 3:00 am.

I finally got my FedEx box. My mother sent me some of my favorite candies (Peeps in the shapes of bunnies), a chocolate Easter bunny (stress relief for when I need to bite off a head), and a card. She also sent a graduation card for Slaperella (AKA “Cougarella”) who just completed her masters degree. I thought it was weird that Slaps kept pestering me about getting the box from FedEx (“I think you really should just pay the money and get it?”) What’s UP, girlfriend? Why the rush???

So then, Slaps asked me at the dinner for 2 hours of my time – either in the morning or in the evening. I had a function to attend in the evening, so she started pestering me about waking up in the morning and said that we would need to take my car (its bigger than her 2 seat Merc). I am a pain in the ass, so I immediately started bugging her about WHYYYYY??? I’m thinking, ‘Where would we need to go with my car?’ Maybe the shooting range? Maybe she’s taking me to the desert (naw, she hates sand)? Mutlaa for 4 wheeling? Maybe to go horseback riding? What could it be that she needs me for 2 hours and we have to take my car? Quite perplexing.

Do you know when you are so tired that you are shakey? I was like that at 10:30 the next morning when slaps woke me up. I rushed to get dressed and be ready for my shooting, horse-riding, 4-wheel-driving experience in the desert. Then she’s like, “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.” Whaaaaaaaaaa? I thought we had time constraints. I thought we had an appointment. What the hell was it??? As I chowed-down on my breakfast shrimp sandwich at Caporia on Restaurants Street, Slaps handed me a note from my mother (which was inside Slaps’ card from my mother which was inside of the FedEx box everyone, but mostly Slaps, was nagging me to get). It said that Slaps had a mission to take me to go to buy a beautiful planter/pot and then to go and buy a beautiful plant for my terrace from my mommy. How cool is that? They had been orchestrating it for quite some time, but didn’t anticipate the FedEx hitch.

So, we went to the Iranian market and plant shops right down the street from my office where Slaps COULD have taken me at a more-Godly hour of say AFTER WORK one night. She was so proud of herself for getting me going to do it; and I know her – she gets all excited when she’s about to bust a surprise on someone – no patience. Usually, it is an endearing quality, but I swear to God if she ever wakes me up again after a night of partying like this….. it’s gonna be on like Donkey Kong.

Anyhoo, that’s how it went and I had a great time.