I Go to All the Romantic Places

…. With my girlfriends. I have found that men have become too cheap to invite me/us to any of the nicer restaurants around Kuwait. (If I offered to pay would it even make a difference???) Alas, the 1.250 kd cup of Starfucks has become the norm in Cheapass Tightwad Country. Last night, The Romanian and I had a perfectly lovely, romantic, candle-lit dinner at Ricardo in the Sheraton. I haven’t been back there for years (wasted years). OMG, the food is amazing and so is the service. There is lots of crystal and silver. I love that place. It is just really elegant. For what we pay at Sakura, it is almost comparable. By the by, there were lots of yummy mens in Ricardo during Eid, but last night, only couples "in love" and a family. The couples in love weren't talking to each other - except for one pair (it was his birthday) - and I only got one bluetooth from a man with a very pregnant wife. The pig! I sent him one back saying that I was about to walk across the room and slap him upside his rotund head. They left shortly after (both spent most of the evening talking to other people on their mobiles). Ah yes, love was indeed in the air.

The Romanian and I have also re-discovered the SAS lobby; and no, not for the men because it is like an old guy/mubahath diwaniya in there. I hadn’t been there in a long time, and had forgotten that they have a piano player. She (Aleksandra) is REALLY good and won me over as soon as she played, “Prelude to a Kiss” which is one of my all-time favorites. I used to request it at the piano bar at the Ritz Carlton in Tysons on Friday nights (while drinking my tequila sunrise and munching on sweet potato chips). Ahhhhh….. (WAKE UP!!!) I also like the Peacock and Kon Tiki. I think the hotel could use a re-vamp, however. My ass has a hard time getting off of their blue leather sofas because they are just too squishy (oh yeah, and my ass is just too big – that too).

Speaking of asses.... The Jailbird will be out in a few days so we can get back to eating fish at Housny. He is such a nice guy and all of us miss him so much. He was kept in jail a little longer than expected because - as he said - he had to kick someone's ass after they tried to "own" his! Damn.... I warned him about that. Watch your 6, buddy!

Cops.... We got chased down the street by a mubahath supervisor who was on duty at the hotel. Why? Because The Romanian is a cop magnet. I was really really surprised how fast dude shifted into a car and caught up with us (I drive like a maniac). It was impressive and I'm sure if there was a real emergency, they would have been on it very fast. He started speaking to her in Romanian. I was laughing so hard I almost couldn't drive home. They were looking at each other (us from the hotel valet parking - him from just outside) like meercats on The Animal Planet. You know how meercats kind of pop up over the reeds of grass and stare? It was like that. Dude was hysterical.

I cut my finger. I can’t say how, really (it involved a small explosion), but it hurts like the dickens. Thank God, it isn’t my favorite finger (that was close). It is the ring finger on my right hand. Of course, The Romanian and I have a conspiracy theory that everything is “her” fault and that somehow, she’s putting the eye on me (and my finger). Anyhoo, it is hard to do many things with a big band aid on your finger; many things that I had previously taken for granted.

Agony Aunt: Have you heard that Briddish term? Well, that’s what I am, apparently. I have one of those faces that everybody feels like they can say anything to. I’ve been catching a whole lot of other people’s grief lately and I’m like, ‘Dude/ette, why don’t you just create your own blog so that you can vent your frustrations?’ It has worked for me, right? I don’t like giving advice (unless someone specifically asks me for it). I just listen, empathize, console … and like that.

I’ve had a leetle bit of people writing to me with “advice” of their own – thinking that I am a 20-something girl in need of more mature assistance. Although I AM 29 (I lie), and perhaps my style of writing portrays someone of a more youthful age…. I am pretty much up to holding my own in terms of experience. I met a woman here once – not much older than me, but with a whole lot of sun damage – who started pouring on the older-woman advice. When I mentioned my age, she had a bewildered look (LOVE THAT) and said, “Oh.” Done deal. Bada bing. While I appreciate the main intent, the sub-intent of one-upmanship just aint all that.

Ok, enough about that. Why doesn’t City Center stock good tampons? They have 2 aisles of pads, but only like 2 boxes of tampons; and I’m sorry, OB doesn’t rate as a tampon to me. (I don’t understand why more people here don’t like tampons. I would die without them.) For a while there, I thought that the entire US military had depleted Sultan Center’s stocks of Tampax. I was having fits. I was ready to buy cartons (not boxes) from the US over the internet. It is really very worrisome. Anyhow, I was in Shitty Center this weekend and while staring my way through the sanitary napkin (I HATE that term!!!) aisle, a man and his 2 young boys pushed past me to grab some kind of pads; something with wings or flaps or whateverthephuck. The boys were saying, in Arabic, “No daddy. She doesn’t like those. She gets this kind at the co-op.” It kind of freaked me out and got me to contemplating. I’m glad that 1) men actually shop for feminine hygiene products for their wives 2) Arab men actually shop for feminine hygiene products for their wives 3) their sons are being trained for the future to actually shop for feminine hygiene products for their wives 4) they knew the difference between the good ones and the bad ones. Hey, here is a question (if you men have been brave enough to read down this far after the word “tampon” at the beginning of the paragraph) Men: Do you buy feminine hygiene products for your women or are you too chicken shit? Just wondering. Ladies: What has your experience been? Feel free to write in anonymously. Its ok.

I like City Center for other reasons: Like, they see a Westerner and all of a sudden, you have lots of little men who want to push your cart around for you INSIDE the store. Ah, if only they had valet parking, it would be my ideal place (if they stocked tampons, of course).

Furthermore, why don’t they have Midol in Kuwait? I’m pretty sure a lot more women here would be nicer people for a week out of the month…. Well hey… why don’t they have alcohol here so that everybody could be nicer 24/7 – 365? Just some thoughts. I know that if I have Midol, alcohol and chocolate… I’m a WAY nicer person all the way around. Go figure. I would probably be a nicer person too if I didn’t have to go to tall the romantic places only with my female friends. That would be a stress reliever. Maybe Midol, alcohol, chocolate, and Ricardo with a yummy man. Yeah! That rocks.