I went out with the 2nd of my Tale of Two Men. (Buzzer noise) Both are out. I have no interest. He’s nice. He’s sweet and funny and intelligent, but there is no chemistry. Back to the drawing board...
I swear to God, if The Man hadn’t pulled the “cake maneuver”, I probably wouldn’t have thought much of him either, but I did. He sent me over a piece of cake when we met. It closed the deal. I’m sure he thinks that he created this maneuver, but I was actually doing this way before I met him: If there was a guy that I wanted to meet in a restaurant, I would send him a cake, or something sweet. 100% of the time, I would get the desired response.
Why is it that I constantly compare mens to past men?
Anyways, I just haven’t met anyone special in a loooooooooooooooong time. I probably have, and yet I have probably just not given them a second glance. My expectations are too high. Je suis unimpressed.
And speaking of unimpressed: The Romanian’s x-boyfriend (lived together for 6 years) is going to marry a divorced Kuwaiti with 2 kids. Why didn’t he marry The Romanian after 6 years? He flat-out told her: he wants someone weak who he can control. He doesn’t want a strong woman. He said, “Fire with fire doesn’t mix.” So she asked him, “Are you going to be faithful to her?” and of course his answer was a strong, “No.” She asked him if he would cheat on his Kuwaiti wife with her (hypothetical question because she's not REALLY a ho) and the answer was, “Yes.” WTF! People like this walk among us; they appear to be normal humans, but they are frickin schizophrenic!
The Man told me (in front of The Romanian) one time that he was afraid of me. Yeah – as in afraid that he couldn’t control me or that I wouldn’t be subservient and put up with him running around with other women. Afraid that if HE cheated, I would do something about it (and I would, and did). (While others would sit there – like a DOORMAT – and accept it all AND make dinner and wash his clothes and open their legs..... )
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that people like this can ever be happy. They lie to the women in their lives; they lie to themselves. What kind of a life is that? How can you live, constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure your lies aren’t going to catch up to you? You have to constantly remember your lies or cover them up with more lies; and that just chips away at your soul.
You know what? I power date and I sleep well at night – knowing that I haven’t hurt anyone or lied or cheated. Ten years from now, I won’t have any lies I have to cover up; and I hope that people will still respect me. Maybe I will meet the right guy and maybe I won’t, but I’m not going to be dishonest. Life is too short for bullshit.
BADA BING
The most important thing is respect! I'm sorry neither man turned out to be the one for you but that means more dating ;)
ReplyDeleteI think you have high expectations from men.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Soris, I'm a stranger and have been reading your blog for just a few months, but I know why I keep looking forward to your next article: you are a really gifted writer, that's why. No other blogger from Kuwait whose writing I've read, whether Arabic-speaking or English-speaking, writes as well as you do. I look forward to more.
ReplyDeleteJust stumbled on the blog - great blogging - you are funny as hell. I will be reading as often as possible for the Kuwiat update before passing through.
ReplyDeleteThe following are comments from Soris and my responses follow.
ReplyDeleteSoris: You tried alot and its clear now that you almost failed to maintain any relation with any of the men you've met,
DG: Really, not your business unless you happen to be one of the men… I don’t settle for less than my expectations. I have my own reasons and requirements for someone that I choose to be with. I don’t judge others because of their actions. It is what it is.
Soris: its not your fault yet it can be yours if you continue walking on that so called fun path of yours
DG: My so called path of fun is just that – fun. I enjoy my life. Don’t have to make negative or judgmental comments to others about the way they choose to live their lives to have fun. I write it as I see it. This blog is an honest approach to my own perception.
God made each of us unique and we can all look at the same picture and see different things. A life, however, is quite different being judged by someone not living it.
Soris: or it might be your serious exit path of all your so called misery,
DG: Ummmm… I don’t believe that I am in misery. Perhaps you haven’t read my blog correctly. None of it pertains to misery. I write about the way I view situations.
Soris: stop, think, you came here with no such problems,
DG: Yes, actually I did. I had the similar problems in the US as a single person. I think many of us do. It doesn’t matter who you date or what their background is like – most people have similar quandaries.
It would be so nice if someone had forced me into an arranged marriage at a young age. Then, I couldn’t be held responsible for all the problems in my relationship.
Soris: do the math and return to your first days when you came to kuwait and start again with something different this time, adopt a hobby or something similar,
DG: There is no reason for me to start again as I am happy where I am. Perhaps you perceive me to be in misery. I do not and neither do those who know me well.
I have “hobbies and something similar”. Read my blog carefully for further detail. However, I don’t use the DG on Kuwait blog as a forum to discuss my hobbies. I think that most peoples’ hobbies bore others. Yawn. Writing, cooking, reading, activities with my dog, charity, helping with animal rights causes, assisting others find jobs in Kuwait…. Does it really matter what my hobbies are? If I want to create a blog about my hobbies/activities, I will… oh… wait a minute… I have! It’s called Desert Causes. Wait.. there’s more… I’m a freelance writer, business consultant and I have a management job full time too… But I guess I’ll leave those for another blog.
Soris: this society won't work for you, either with hathar men or bedu men, it just won't work for you, get it and adapt, its different than yours in so many levels,
DG: Yes, it is different than my culture/society in many ways – which is precisely why I’ve chosen to live here. You seem to be pre-determining my fate for some reason. I’ve spent many years in a society where I am happy. It has worked just fine for me for all the time I’ve been here. Do you have a personal agenda/reason why you don’t think a foreigner should live in this society?
Do you not think that people of this culture can adapt to others’? For example, Kuwaitis living in the US? Do you believe that it just isn’t working for them? Who can judge and who should?
Soris: i would've said you may get it to work here if you were born here but in your case it won't,
DG: I have been living/working in Kuwait – a society that I love – for the past 11 years. I have been involved with Kuwait for the past 26 years. I fought to free Kuwait when a lot of people were sitting on their sofas watching Iraqis kill Kuwaitis on CNN.
“get it to work”? In which way? I have a good job, good life, good friends, do I need a man to make me happy? It would be nice, but if I don’t – that doesn’t mean that “it doesn’t work” for me. Are you basing “get it to work” on relationships? I’m not.
Soris: i can almost know and feel everyone's attention when they meet you and you probably did,
DG: Thanks, I think. I don’t really understand what you are trying to say, but whatever.
Soris: you're not that stupid,
DG: Again, thanks, I think.
Soris: you're vulnerable in so many ways that i can't even count,
DG: Vulnerable to what exactly? Your particular phrasing of words perplexes me. “Ways that you can’t even count?” Hmmmm….interesting. I don’t believe I am vulnerable to men; quite the contrary. I am a highly skilled bullshit detector. If I weren’t, I would have long-term relationships with a multitude of losers, not just short ones where I move on. If I weren’t so adept at steering clear of bad long-term relationships, I might be in a marriage where I was unhappy, unloved – oh, similar to so many here with a 53% divorce rate. I prefer that if a relationship is to end – it is on my terms and sooner better than later. Vulnerable to accidents: Perhaps. Kuwait has a high rate of road accidents. Vulnerable at work: No. Quite skilled at what I do and how I do it.
Soris: do something about it, I've been reading your blog for almost a year and i seriously have no idea why!!
DG: If you don’t know why, then you should probably stop reading it. This blog was not created to amuse an audience of one.
Soris: But if i don't care i won't write this to you
DG: Again, you must feel that you know me; and either you do and you have something to say – just what I can’t understand; or you don’t know me at all and are being extremely presumptuous.
Soris: and just keeps laughing at your jokes.
DG: Thank you, I think.
Soris: I know sometimes you just CAN'T sleep without thinking of how good the old days were,
DG: Lately, I think about one man in particular, but no more. These ARE the good old days. I live every day like they are.
Soris: and maybe sometimes you just cry in silence
DG: No. I rarely cry, quite honestly. Unless I’m watching TV and there is something sappy on.
Soris: seeing your age grows doing the same mistake all over again,
I don’t see myself as making mistakes, but thank you for your creative approach to my psyche. As for aging – we all are. When I need someone to psychoanalyze me, I’ll be sure to seek out qualified help.
Soris: it breaks my heart that a human being been suffering from his own mistakes for a long time like you.
DG: If your heart is breaking for someone you only know through a blog, maybe you should be psychoanalyzed. As for me, I am not suffering and I am a very happy person with normal problems. I don’t have huge problems like others might – and I thank God all the time that I don’t. Please don’t break your heart over my petty relationship gripes.
Now, I have some comments for you, Mr./Ms. Soris: I think that it is unfortunate that you have chosen not to post on your blog or allow comments to your blog – or to allow others access to an e-mail so that anyone on the receiving end of one of your very enlightening comments could refute it. I sense through your comments frustration and a personal agenda. I don’t know what has caused you to create a comment as such, but I won’t judge your life over it.
I created my blog as a way to share my perceptions; and to do so with honesty, respect, and humor. My failures and successes are mine alone.
I hope this answers your questions. Have a GREAT day!
Zahra - Guess what! I saw one of the guys with HIS WIFE in The Avenues! Believe that shit? He's married. We sat right next to them at a restaurant. What a retard.
ReplyDeletePurgatory - You know me so well.
Skunk - Ok you rock too! I LOVED your comments! I totally agree. PLEASE comment more often, k?
Ranger - thank you so much (blushing). I really really really appreciate the compliments. My mom is a journalist and I hope that I inherited even 1% of her capabilities.
Abb - Thank you! :) You stop by anytime you need a giggle.
dg, hold your horses, i don't know you, i really don't, you're being so offensive while you need not to.
ReplyDeleteI commented because there's a button says comment, you should disable that if you like not to receive any.
I hold no grudges against you because i have no idea who you are personally, you're taking it so seriously that i felt i might have killed your dog :) and you're just after a revenge. I intended not to ruin your mood but to write to you what i feel about this blog, you wanna talk about it and share your thoughts about the whole thing, ok, not, fine too.
i apologize if i offended you in any way, that was not my intention.
Unbelievable! On second thought, haha you should've been mischievous. I am sure you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for the poor wife!
Soris - Truce.
ReplyDeleteZahra - Dude was nice, but not at all my flavor. Plus, he did something that threw me off guard, so I had the feeling that all was not right: He invited us to
Gaucho and then sent me a message the same day saying that there were no reservations, so instead, he was taking my friend and I to "a quiet cafe". hmmm... as a fact-checker, I called Gaucho and made a reservation - no problem - under my name. He just didn't have the look of a married guy, but it put me off. I wasn't planning to call him again, so no biggie, but then I saw him with his wife. I felt bad for both of them. They were young and very much in miserable.
I saw Oprah the other day when a teenaged girl was saying, "Every day when my parents fought, I wanted to die. If you are staying in a bad marriage for the sake of the children, please don't. "
"His poor wife." is quite correct.