1300 Volts of Sucking Action

After ten years, I have no longer been getting the sucking action I used to. My 800 volt machine just didn’t suck like before. It would blow, but it wouldn’t really suck. I was heartbroken. Immediate action was required.

Where in Kuwait do you go when your sucking power no longer functions? It was a perplexing dilemma. I searched in Hawalli and then I turned to Humood (Tower, that is).

Yes, dirty-minded perverts, I am talking about a Hoover. Jashanmal is the Hoover agent and they’re located in Humood (Tower, that is). I first went to Hawalli in search of the perfect sucker, but then I was directed towards the center of Kuwait – downtown. Yes people, that is correct; if you want pure sucking satisfaction you must go downtown. There is no if’s, and’s or butts about it: go downtown. When in doubt, go downtown. It is the answer to many of life’s problems.

At first, I turned to the Lebanese sales guys in Al Ghanim. While they present a nice package, they just don’t have the knowledge of downtown.

Yes, we are still talking about Hoovers, dirty-minded perverts.

Now, at Al Ghanim, they sell the Hoover with swirling action. While swirling action presents a nice display, the knowledgeable guys at Jashanmal were able to tell me that pure sucking power doesn’t come from swirling; it comes from a higher voltage motor (I knew that).

I went home with the 1300 volt “Fold-Away” upright Hoover with the sucking hose attachment. It comes pre-assembled (“just add dirt”). I immediately turned it on when I got home and let me tell you – it is a dream; it doesn’t blow, it just sucks (and it has a light). My last 800 volt Hoover lasted me 10 years. I am hoping that I will get as much use out of this new one.

Yes, dirty-minded perverts, I am talking about housework.